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OUr mISSIOn is to articulate a biblically saturated, Christcentered worldview that will encourage others to grow into the nature and fellowship of Christ and help them tell their spiritual stories. Our dialogue will be derived from Scripture study, classical wisdom and practice, art and other expressions, and conversations among a community of writers.

Thoughts on e va ngelic al s piritual fo rm at io n

Centered

STrEnGTHEnInG SPIrITUAL rELATIOnSHIPS:

SIX SESSIOnS FOr GrOUPS Or InDIVIDUALS

For ever yone who yearns to know the Fathers deep delight

by Len Thompson

PUBLISHEr

Ur b a n C e n t re f o r Evan g e l i c a l Spir it u a l Fo r m atio n

Printed in Canada by PageMaster Publication Services Inc.

EDITOr Dayna mazzuca

LAYOUT

Eric Thompson Julie Drew Julie is an Edmonton artist and graphic designer. You can view her work at www.shedrewit.com.
COVEr ArT

STrEnGTHEnInG SPIrITUAL rELATIOnSHIPS Copyright 2009, by Urban Center Publishers. Printed in Canada. All rights reserved. no part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, address Urban Center, 11525 23 Ave, Edmonton, AB. T6J 4T3.

CONTENTS
fOrEwOrd ............................................................ 7 INTrOduCTION .................................................. 9 ChapTEr ONE Made for relationship .............................................. 15 reflection Questions ................................................ 27 ChapTEr TwO Supportive relationships .......................................... 33 reflection Questions ................................................ 44 ChapTEr ThrEE difficult relationships ............................................. 51 reflection Questions ................................................ 65 ChapTEr fOur Telling the Truth ....................................................... 73 reflection Questions ................................................ 85 ChapTEr fIvE weaving Stories Together ......................................... 91 reflection Questions .............................................. 102 ChapTEr SIx Gods Great design ................................................. 105 reflection Questions ............................................. 117 fOr furThEr rEadING an annotated Book List ........................................ 125 BIBLIOGraphy ................................................ 129

Fo r St re ngt h e ni ng Sp i r i tual Fr i e nd s h i p s
I love humanity; its people I cant stand. Linuss confession in the comic strip Peanuts, points to one of the great challenges of cultivating the spiritual life: loving relationships. If only we could invest our efforts into loving God without getting sidetracked by having to deal with people! A distinguishing feature of Christian spirituality is that union with God occurs only as we seek unity with others. While solitude is an important discipline in the spiritual life, spiritual formation is not a solitary pursuit. Intimacy with the Father will never flourish by cutting oneself off from the rest of the world, or by seeking altered forms of consciousness through mantras and meditations. Its only true measure is our growth in love for one another. This reality, at the heart of Jesus high priestly prayer in John 17, is the focus of the six sessions contained in this issue of Centered. Todays technology makes it possible for groups of people to share the events of their lives instantly, and in great detail, without limitations imposed by geographical distance. Despite these advances, genuine community remains elusive and most of our relationships are superficial. Spiritual maturity comes by going deeper with others. By looking at historical examples as well as everyday case studies, Len offer a practical guidebook on Strengthening Spiritual Friendships. As you read through these pages, evaluate the strength of your spiritual friendships and consider ways you can grow in unity and love. Allan Effa Professor, Taylor Seminary Chair, Advisory Board, Urban Centre for Evangelical Spiritual Formation December 14, 2009

fOrEwOrd

INTrOduCTION
whO IS ThIS BOOK fOr? This is a book written for Christians who wonder if there is anything more to this life of faith. It is for people in the pew and folks who have left the pew. It is for the men and women who serve faithfully in the church and for those who have thrown in the towel. It is a book for pastors, small groups and individuals. It is a book that delves into the why and how of relationships in spiritual growth. This book is for you if you would like to experience being one with other disciples as Jesus earnestly prayed. (Chapters One and Two) This book is for you if you want to sort out difficult relationships and learn to speak truth in a loving way. (Chapters Three and Four) This book is for you want to hear the input of others regarding your relational style and understand how much God has invested in the unity of the Body of Christ. (Chapters Five and Six) If you get goose bumps when you read Christs prayer in John 17 and long for an experience of complete oneness with other disciples. If you want to move past faith-maintenance and into Christ-like maturity, this book is for you.

Strengthening Spiritual Relationships

hOw dOES ThIS BOOK wOrK? This book can be read in three ways: 1. It can be used as a study guide for individuals, small groups or pastors wanting to lead people through some of the steps of spiritual formation. 2. It can also be read as a text on the nature of spiritual formation. 3. Finally, it can be read as a source of healing and hope. It speaks to how spiritual maturity is closely linked to the quality of love we have for each other. It offers a practical approach to common problems in relationships. It speaks to the hope of hearing Jesus call us to our true home, into the family of God, and it directs us to companions along the way. Each chapter begins with a look at one aspect of Jesus prayer for His disciples in John 17. The prayer is the basis for each the concepts explored in the book. Each chapter includes an historical illustration of the concept discussed. The premise is that these ideas have worked in different cultures and time periods; they are not conceived, untested, in some ivory tower. Then in plain language - using examples from the work of a spiritual director and former pastor and counsellor - the focus becomes one of application in a section called In My Office. You get to see how this works in real life. Finally, each chapter closes with eight reflection and Discussion Questions. Each question comes from specific quotes in the chapter and encourages you to think on the material youve just read. Dont feel tied to these questions. The best discussions come from curiosity rather than from assignments. Feel free to make notes in this book. make it your own.
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Introduction

This book represents the vision and mandate of one arm of the Centre for Evangelical Spiritual Formation the Institute for Evangelical Spiritual Formation. The Institute acts as a training centre for disciples of Christ, serving many denominations, churches and students. Thus, this book is intended not only for interest-level reading, but as an instructive text as well. Further Reading is encouraged in an Annotated Book List at the back. This book is the second in a series of books on spiritual formation that will be available through the Institute for Evangelical Spiritual Formation in Edmonton and online. whO wrOTE ThIS BOOK? This book is a collaborative effort. You, the reader, are invited to participate along the way, engage on a personal level and make the material your own. WrITEr - Len Thompson is a spiritual director and founder of Urban Sanctuary and the Centre for Evangelical Spiritual Formation based in Edmonton, Alberta. Len is the narrator and supplies the content of the book. As a teacher, former counsellor and pastor, he speaks from experience, his own training and study. Len brings a pastoral approach to the work, and has a heart to see Gods people walk in maturity and effectiveness. In fact, after attending Larry Crabbs School of Spiritual Formation, Len has given his life to the pursuit of the disciplines of spiritual formation. It brings him and his wife, Joan, life. Let him know if this book sparks any new questions in your own life. EDITOr - Dayna E. mazzuca is a freelance editor and writer on the spiritual life. Her work has appeared in Faith Today, Christian Week, City Light News and
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Strengthening Spiritual Relationships

newspapers across Canada. She is a longtime devotee to the Christian classics (and historical novels). Currently, she attends an Anglican church in Edmonton and serves on the board of Alberta Pro-Life. She considers herself an orthodox, evangelical, charismatic, liturgical Christian and says her hardest job in life is raising two small children without raising her voice. By comparison, editing Lens material is a breeze. GrOUP We worked through the material in this book with four different groups over a period of years. Their questions, reactions and experiences in trying to live out these concepts has brought numerous revisions of this material until it is in the form that you hold in your hand. These groups consisted of people in Edmonton, of many different ages and backgrounds. They gave us several evenings and invaluable feedback. We have incorporated many of their comments into this book, and want to recognize their contribution, sensitivity and time. Thank you. Each story included in the section In my Office has been used with permission. names and some details have been changed or omitted to protect privacy. Thank you for weaving your story with each reader. The prayer of those who have poured into the content of this book is that it will be a blessing in your hands and not on your shelf . Peace

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Introduction

JOhN 17 JESuS prayS fOr hIMSELf 1 After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. 2For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. 3Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. 4I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. 5And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began. JESuS prayS fOr hIS dISCIpLES 6 I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. 7Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. 8For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. 9I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. 11I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your namethe name you gave meso that they may be one as we are one. 12 While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. 13I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect
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Strengthening Spiritual Relationships

them from the evil one. 16They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. 18As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified. JESuS prayS fOr aLL BELIEvErS 20 My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 24Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. 25Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.

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