Volume #4

Spring 2012

Realizing vision and future One person at a time

Mission Statement
Life Works provides comprehensive supports for persons with developmental disabilities to live real lives in homes of their own. The primary focus of Life Works is to support all people to create full rich lives that reflect personal choice across home and community environments.

Calendar of Events
April 19th & 20th
California Supported Living Network Leadership Conference @ The Dana Hotel , San Diego Movie Nights Inside Im Dancing March 28 A Beautiful Mind April 25

March 26 from 4:00pm-8:00pm

Celebration and Book Signing Event A Full Life With Autism: From Learning To Forming Relationships to Achieving Independence By Jeremy and Chantal Sicile-Kira The Poseidon Restaurant 1670 Coast Boulevard Del Mar CA 92014

www.lifeworks-sls.com

Directors Discussion
by Beth Gallagher
A"format"titled"Directors"Discussion"seems"as"though"it"should"hold"space"for"a" narrative"that"is"lengthy,"educational"and"profound."I"am"not"feeling"that"sort"of"story" today."I"have"had"a"lot"of"topics"flying"around"my"head"lately."I"thought"today"I"would"jot" down"some"thoughts"and"just"share"them"with"you."Nothing"too"terribly"tough"to"ponder," however"they"are"things"that"may"have"you"tilting"your"head"and"saying,"hmmm."" I"am"regularly"alarmed"by"how"much"information"we"think"we"know"when"in" actuality"we"know"very"little."By"very"little"I"mean,"virtually"nothing."This"is" sobering."I"have"been"doing"this"work"for"a"long"time."(Lets"get"real,"it"has"been" just"shy"of"26"years)"Long"enough"for"sure"to"be"considered,"in"most"professions," a"master'craftsman."We"are"just"getting"started."" Community"is"both"the"hardest"thing"and"the"most"important"thing"for"us"to" work"on."" The"more"I"think"I"know"someone"the"more"I"dont."" As"a"woman"that"did"not"share"family"with"anyone"labeled"with"a"disability,"I"am" intensely"curious"about"how"that"experience"has"shaped"those"individuals."Both" positive"and"negative.""I"do"know"that"the"experience"I"had"with"my"3"brothers" and"one"sister"has"made"dramatic"impact"on"what"type"of"person"I"am"now."Just" wondering"out"loud."" What"would"this"world"be"like"if"each"of"us"took"it"upon"ourselves"to"connect"to" another"citizen"who"was"not"connected?""The"unlikeliest"of"connections"can" change"lives"on"both"ends."" Over"the"past"5"or"6"decades"the"service"delivery"system"has"wrapped"itself" around"the"neediness"and"deficiencies"of"people"with"disabilities."Peoples"gifts" have"not"been"acknowledged"therefor"the"reciprocity"necessary"for"true" relationships"to"grow"is"not"available."And"we"have"the"audacity"to"wonder"why" people"are"not"surrounded"by"true"friends."We"need"to"get"out"of"the"way"and" teach"the"real"skills"necessary"for"life"to"be"rich"and"vibrant."Friendship"

" ~"Beth"

On My Mind
~Kirk Hinkleman-Associate Director A walk through Savannah
As our host, Mr. Tom Kohler, picks Beth and I up from the Savannah Hilton Head Airport and begins to immerse us in what he lives and breatheswe find ourselves driving through what he calls the edges. These edges are areas of his community where, depending on your socio-economic status, race and upbringing, some people may not drive or walk through. Mr. Kohler, simply put, destroys the myth of fear and crime and opens our eyes to a beautiful reality that people are people no matter what. The people we come across on this initial tour, smile, wave and offer welcome greetings when we have the opportunity to exchange words. His purpose was to expose us to this radical juxtaposition of this edge and the safe circle. The goal is to find people willing to embrace the idea of being a citizen that cares to build a relationship with another citizen who may live on the edge and bring their life closer to that safe circle. This trip was born out of a conversation I had with Mr. Kohler while participating in the Toronto Summer Institute in 2011. Weve been collaborating on moving his story of Waddie Welcome and the Beloved Community, a book he wrote about a man whose life transformed perceptions of what can happen when people are afforded the opportunity to share their story. Mr. Kohler is the director of Chatham Savannah Citizen Advocacy, a non-profit organization that gets people who would ordinarily not meet, to meet. That is it. Beautifully simple. Citizen Advocacy, at its roots, is about two people sharing their story, forming a relationship, and caring for one another as citizens who are invested in working toward that beloved community. During our second day, we embarked on a whirlwind of conversations with citizen advocates who took the time to sit and learn with us through storytelling. Its this storytelling that grounds the concept of citizen advocacy. Mr. Kohler says, If you can keep people in the story, then people will move forward. The people we met shared their stories, struggles and laughs within these stories, but most importantly, shared the idea of being a citizen willing to be in a relationship with people who are, in a sense,

living life-threatening segregation. Our intention was to learn and is to continue to learn about citizen advocacy in an effort to bring this to our communities in San Diego. It is a fire that, like a pilot light, has been ready for some gas. The gas emerged in Toronto last July and was just turned to the high position during this trip to Savannah. We work and exist in a system based service design, one in which we are fortunate to have and are able to offer to people who live in our communities here at home. But admittedly, what we lack is this sense of pride in our local community. A pride driving citizens to find a purpose in forming a relationship with someone, who in turn, become citizens partnered in stumbling forward toward this common gooda beloved community.

Life Works is an agency that is proud of what, why, how and to whom we provide services. But stepping outside the systems we work within, we intend to begin linking citizens, who would ordinarily not have crossed paths, to meet one another and care for each other. Simply put, partnering people to learn experientially together, rather than learning about one another through a report. It starts with the willingness to deeply listen to another persons story and that story never ends, it just begins to look a little more beautiful.

~Kirk

Occupy the Lanterman Act: Do You Know What You Need to Know? April 19-20 The Dana Hotel San Diego, California The 2012 Leadership conference will focus on reclaiming the birthright of all Californians with developmental disabilities the Lanterman Act. While threatened often, the Lanterman Act remains law and continues to provide the people we support an abiding framework for receiving the services they require to live in the community. We have lined up speakers and sessions that will give you information that will help you with providing quality supported and independent living services, and give you tools that you can use right away. The coming year will continue to challenge us fiscally and CSLN has worked hard to bring you a valuable conference at a very reasonable price. We have planned a special forum and other activities during the conference for family members to explore partnerships that will help us to work together to preserve and strengthen supported living and independent living as viable options for our loved ones and others needing support who dont have family to help advocate on their behalf. The Parent Forum and other conference activities have been specially crafted for families, including single-household providers and supported individuals. Go to www.supportedliving.com now and register.

Whoa! This is a Hot Potato!

By Kristine Copeland
Recently a chapter of the national siblings network formed in the area. Its a resource for the brothers and sisters of people with developmental disabilities; information on educational and health issues, a chance to meet and talk with people who may or may not share a life experience. The notice was right there in my e-mail and I printed out a copy. Although its my job, and certainly my boss job to get the word out on this sort of thing, as we looked at the flyer, we both swallowed hard. Would we share the info concerning the first local meeting with our own sons and daughters? We let our words hang in the air. Our families have been more public than some. Weve been willing to open up our lives to others, to share our stories as advocates. If not exactly as examples, we have on the other hand come to acknowledge how important and powerful its been to hear others stories and we feel an obligation to pay this forward. Yes, we decided, well share the information about this meeting with our children. We laughed nervously and said, Whoa! This is a hot potato! We were also moved to tears. I dont know of any family for whom this the sibling issue - is an easy subject. As a parent, being able to speak about my challenges and fears with others parents in similar circumstances is a lifesaver. I quite naturally make the assumption that my children will gain similar comfort or even celebrate talking with other young people whose brothers or sisters were like Matt, but thats not the case. Neither of my younger sons has any interest in participating in disability-related activities and a siblings group is probably near the top of their Things Not To Do List. They both know that they are not expected to be their brothers keeper. Some families demand and expect this. We do not. We have created a special needs trust, however, and they each have the role of Trustee. When the time comes, they will know which individuals or organizations to go to for advice concerning their brother. Weve got it covered, Mom, they both say. And, I am confident that they will advocate for their brother, they will look out for his welfare and they will in some way be involved in each others lives. But this is their time. They want some distance. And I understand. I know that some of their closest friends are still those kids who stood with my sons when they were being taunted. They were the kids who still came over to play even though they may have witnessed something weird and strange or even dangerous. They may not share the sibling/disability experience with my sons, but in a way it bonded them. A

good friend is a good friend. Of course, they also have good friends who have no idea there is an older Copeland brother.

The oldest Copeland brother is Matt and he has autism. Hes 29 years old now; his brothers are 27 and 22. They are all doing well, are happy and successful in their own ways, and I am proud of them all. Yet I am still struggling with some of the aspects of my parenting, both in the past and in the present day. I know my younger sons are dealing with some very complex emotions concerning their brother and with growing up with him. We do sometimes talk about it, but it is almost always at my instigation. Was our familys experience so different than that of other families, whether impacted by disability or not? Yes and no. There were things that happened in our home and in our neighborhood schools that were extreme. Kids can be humiliated by having the wrong shoes! My sons were the brothers of that kid and to this day, neither of them believes there are others to be found who shared the experience of having a brother like theirs. There is no one like Matt, one of them said to me. Im finding that Im unable to recount any of the more difficult examples here; not because I cant remember, but because I can. My sons can joke about many things, but there are incidents and memories that still cause them great pain.

Heres a lesson I am learning: My children will seek out solace in places of their own choosing and share their deepest feelings with their friends and family. They dont want anything special or organized. Not now. Oh, and theres this, too they are adults! Im still going to send them an e-mail about the siblings group. And they will tease me about it. I love when they do that.

Kristine Copeland is a mother, advocate, and writer from Livonia, Michigan.

Fearsome Flyer: Engineering a Dream Into a Reality By Al Holt

As a personal project, to cope with my physical disability, creating an alter ego inspired by my appreciation of comics, helped me completely reassess my outlook on life. At first, it was not to my knowledge that comic lovers challenged with disabilities need a role model to get through each day a bit easier. By becoming disabled in June of 93, my entire perception on persons with disabilities changed. I mostly care about others, and being a person who views situations from the outside looking in, it is in my knowledge now that we all need a superhero to look to in times of doubt. Towards the beginning of San Diegos International Comic Convention, I was interviewed by KPBS, and they were interested, as to why the Comic Con attendance has rapidly increased in the past years. I explained my reasoning, like I did above, but I did not tell her that I have personally been working on creating such a character to boost self-esteem levels of persons with disabilities for years, perhaps a decade. My re-entrance into the education system was difficult, especially when teenagers make prejudge mental decisions almost always. I was also very subconscious, knowing that I was the only kid in a wheelchair, plus my eating disorder did not help. My voice sounded so bad that I tried my best not to talk. A science project first got my idea of a character flowing, but this was not going to be any ordinary character, I was angry then, in fact I still try to hide my anger. The cards that life has dealt me are truly difficult to handle, but I am not the only one playing the game of life. For years, I had no name for my character, finally, thinking of why Knight Rider was named that, the name fell perfectly, Fearsome Flyer.

My first chapter was posted to my Myspace blog for some time, so was a second, and two feature scripts entirely devoted to this character. Finally, I was contacted by a musician from Australia who made me believe in myself. He got me to realize all the good I can do with story, being challenged daily with chronic pain he too was empowered. After spending some of my own money, I taught myself how to make and publish a site for this purpose. Also I personally funded my first comic book, but I cannot afford to keep doing this. Just recently, I finished a third Fearsome Flyer Feature script, and the journey does not end here. Please consider assisting with funding by clicking on the donate button on my site: www.comicinvasion.org Support this by buying a digital comic or a t-shirt on my on-line store. Together we can affect the lives of many. Thank you, Alan

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8 Qualities of Remarkable Employees

Forget good to great. Here's what makes a great employee remarkable. By Jeff Haden | Feb 21, 2012
Great employees are reliable, dependable, proactive, diligent, great leaders and great followers... they possess a wide range of easily-definedbut hard to findqualities. A few hit the next level. Some employees are remarkable, possessing qualities that may not appear on performance appraisals but nonetheless make a major impact on performance. Here are eight qualities of remarkable employees: 1. They ignore job descriptions. The smaller the company, the more important it is that employees can think on their feet, adapt quickly to shifting priorities, and do whatever it takes, regardless of role or position, to get things done. When a key customer's project is in jeopardy, remarkable employees know without being told there's a problem and jump in without being askedeven if it's not their job. 2. Theyre eccentric... The best employees are often a little different: quirky, sometimes irreverent, even delighted to be unusual. They seem slightly odd, but in a really good way. Unusual personalities shake things up, make work more fun, and transform a plain-vanilla group into a team with flair and flavor. People who aren't afraid to be different naturally stretch boundaries and challenge the status quo, and they often come up with the best ideas. 3. But they know when to dial it back. An unusual personality is a lot of fun... until it isn't. When a major challenge pops up or a situation gets stressful, the best employees stop expressing their individuality and fit seamlessly into the team. Remarkable employees know when to play and when to be serious; when to be irreverent and when to conform; and when to challenge and when to back off. Its a tough balance to strike, but a rare few can walk that fine line with ease.

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4. They publicly praise... Praise from a boss feels good. Praise from a peer feels awesome, especially when you look up to that person. Remarkable employees recognize the contributions of others, especially in group settings where the impact of their words is even greater. 5. And they privately complain. We all want employees to bring issues forward, but some problems are better handled in private. Great employees often get more latitude to bring up controversial subjects in a group setting because their performance allows greater freedom. Remarkable employees come to you before or after a meeting to discuss a sensitive issue, knowing that bringing it up in a group setting could set off a firestorm. 6. They speak when others wont. Some employees are hesitant to speak up in meetings. Some are even hesitant to speak up privately. An employee once asked me a question about potential layoffs. After the meeting I said to him, Why did you ask about that? You already know what's going on. He said, I do, but a lot of other people don't, and they're afraid to ask. I thought it would help if they heard the answer from you. Remarkable employees have an innate feel for the issues and concerns of those around them, and step up to ask questions or raise important issues when others hesitate. 7. They like to prove others wrong. Self-motivation often springs from a desire to show that doubters are wrong. The kid without a college degree or the woman who was told she didn't have leadership potential often possess a burning desire to prove other people wrong. Education, intelligence, talent, and skill are important, but drive is critical. Remarkable employees are driven by something deeper and more personal than just the desire to do a good job. 8. Theyre always fiddling. Some people are rarely satisfied (I mean that in a good way) and are constantly tinkering with something: Reworking a timeline, adjusting a process, tweaking a workflow. Great employees follow processes. Remarkable employees find ways to make those processes even better, not only because they are expected to but because they just can't help it.

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Luna Sensual
por Elizabeth Rubalcaba
Hoy me siento plena Entre tus brazos me estremezco, En la playa fui tuya,

Original work by a Life Works Stakeholder

Solo era testigo la luna y el mar. Con la noche obscura y triste, Busco pasin entre tus carisias y besos. La coqueta ilumina al mar rebelde Se vuelve un tornado.

Luna sensual, Cmplice de los amantes, Con tu brillante luz, Enciende la pasin y el fuego Me convierto en un solo ser.

Esa noche se volvi clida como mi ser, Al sentir tus manos recorrer mi cuerpo La arena fue testigo de nuestro deseo.

Al entregarnos totalmente el uno al otro, Fui musa de tus carisias Al amarecer aleja la luna sensual

Solo se entrelaza nuestro destino.

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