42istheanswer

I read about 3 pages of answers and I started thinking about a few things: The feeling of loneliness and not being understood seems to be one constant thread running through many of the responses. There is also an implicit observation being made that such intelligent people are few and far between and that majority of the folks one gets to interact with does not relish any deep and meaningful conversation. I certainly relate to these two points. However, my question is around identifying another person in the crowd who thinks similarly. If one has the capability to find another 'intelligent' person from the crowd, things would get much easier for both of them. I am making another assumption here that 'intelligent' people can get along well with each other! I would surely be interested in knowing the opinions of the group on this angle. One of the responses was highlighting the fact that intelligent people are unhappy because they *think* so much. Paralysis by analysis - presumably. I can again relate to this chain of thought. I have seen a number of people who can enjoy the same joke with the same vigor when they are hearing it for the tenth time... while I just cannot enjoy the joke even when I hear it for the second time because my mind has internalized it. That tosses out the option of having a 'good' sense of humour out of the window :) This applies to other aspects of life too. When my brain perceives something good (or bad) coming its way, it would by default think of all the possible scenarios which can happen in that case and evaluate options for those scenarios and would rationalize the underlying emotions by looking at the big picture. While this is purportedly good, what it ends up in is that when the event driving the feeling/emotion actually happens, I respond quite nuetrally as the brain has already internalized it. Again, this attitude amazes near and dear and doesn't really make me a popular person to hang out with! It would be really interesting if people can put out their opinions on how to deal with this problem. An intelligent crowd like this can surely deal with this challenge :-)

Builder

Dear Readers, please note that Scribd has refused to remove the second page of this article from its "store" even though Scribd admits that I will not receive anything from sales of the full article. This problem has been ongoing since August 30, 2009. Please see the full article at http://tinyurl.com/yjxuke4 Leave your comments there, not here any more. Thanks and sorry for the trouble.

Builder

Dear Readers, please note that Scribd has refused to remove the second page of this article from its "store" even though Scribd admits that I will not receive anything from sales of the full article. This problem has been ongoing since August 30, 2009. Please see the full article at http://www.scribd.com/doc/20820997/Wh... Leave your comments there, not here any more.

sowhatkvlt

I don't know if I am the only one who feels this, but I think 'intelligent' people are unhappy because they think just too much about everything. I think that every human being wants happiness in every second they live. And when they don't, they just forget about it. They tend to be unhappy only when something bad has happened or there is a good reason to be unhappy. Whereas, depressed people feel unhappy all the time, for no reason at all. Most of them know that, but can't stop it. Thoughts like, why do the things I am doing right now, or why not do the things I really want to do disturb them. And when they are happy, they are way too happy, like getting a drug-like euphoria when just feeling the wind, getting that old feeling of pleasure, of nothing, of the past, or something else. But this sort of pleasure is very short, and is very addictive, which leads the person to crave for it time and again, either by trying to think about it, or doing irrational stuffs like smoking, doing drugs, wandering around, talking to oneself, or trying to gain ecstasy from mere music, etc. These people are pleasure-hungry I reckon. And whenever they don't get it, they are unhappy. The important thing is, this unhappiness is fed to them by themselves and nobody else. Like, the inability to function properly socially, carry out essential daily activities etc. They also tend to be helpless when something goes wrong, either big or minute, like depression may get stronger when one's TV is broken, or somebody doesn't return something belonging to him/her, or unexpected behavior by colleagues (good or bad) in workplaces....... (sorry I can't express myself properly, but my deadline is that, a lot of intelligent people are depressed, and they see the world in a total different perspective than a normal person would do, and it would be impossible for an average person to know what an intelligent one is going through.

juggleufl

I found the title of this article after searching for things related to the Hemingway quote used at the beginning, and while I'm not able to read the second page due to the issue with scribd not allowing it, I connected very greatly with what I was able to read. While, as you stated at the beginning, there isn't any specific research into the accuracies of this article, simply by reading through the comments it becomes clear how accurate a lot of it is. As I'm sure many others have done, I began reading this article hoping to find some insight into the real pain and difficulties I've experienced my entire life, and even this sincere and humble quest has to be met with social ostracism by many of those who chose to leave comments simply for the purpose of attacking others and adding their two cents into a discussion that they couldn't possibly understand. I've spent the past 8 or so years of my life in deep reflection as to why I've felt the way that I have, and why happiness and contentment, which seem to just be natural for so many, feel like something I must discover how to achieve. I think one part to the problem that you overlooked, when stating that intelligent kids must go through their hard times alone, I don't think you provided a complete reason for why this happens. I think it may often times be an inability to express, or maybe even understand that they're dealing with something abnormal. I was dealing with severe depression and suicidal thoughts from the time I was 9 years old, but for me it was just my life. Despite being highly advanced intellectually, I was still only 9 years old, and no amount of intelligence could've made me understand that the way I felt wasn't normal, or given me any idea of what to do about it. I never said anything about it to my parents, not because they expected me to be able to deal with everything, but because I wouldn't have even known what to say.

voha311

Ok, so I read some of the posts. I came to this conclusion that we as people may not be happy do to the fact that we have no goal in life. Like for example, and please dont take me wrong, when an over weight person is strugling and everyday they are unhappy because the society rejected them right? Well say the same person sets a goal for him or herself to loose weight. In the process of loosing weight they are technically still overweight but their happiness grow with each day that brings them closer to their goal. Society still rejects them but their hard work and determination overpowers all the social rejections. Same thing with really intelligent people like us we dont have a goal that drives our daily life. As soon as we set a goal for ourselves our power of will to reach that goal will crush any social rejections. All we need to do is set a goal and reach it. Wait dont stop after you reach that goal. Michelengelo said "Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I accomplish". After reaching your goal turn that goal into a different goal that will lead you to greater hights in life. If we follow this concept then their won't be any thoughts of suicide because we will be too busy being happy :-) This works for me I hope I help someone in the process because intelegent people keep this world flowing smoothly. We are like gears in a clock with out us it would come to a hault. Dont look down upon yourselves instead do the opposite and bring yourselves up and I promise happiness will flow into your heart. God Bless

Builder

September 13/09 Scribd discovered that this article had been placed into their "store," which explains why only the first page is available. I asked that it be removed from that status as Scribd had done that without my permission or even an offer to share any income from its sale. (I would have declined in any event.) Scribd has continued to allow this shameful error to continue, not me. I have once again requested correction of the problem.

dcn90

Weird I was on Google looking for something completely not relevant to this blog, but seeing as I wasn't really interested in the information I was looking up and the fact that I used to be stuck on this subject, I clicked on this link to see what others thought on it. As you can probably guess, I don't have many friends (none in fact) that I could talk about this with so it was quite interesting to read everyone's posts (or at least the ones I read). While I feel the article itself lacks some things that contribute to unhappiness (granted I couldn't read the second page), the responses definitively fill in some of the big holes I would have addressed however. Overall though, I guess I just wanted to say I can relate to how you all feel. I know that feeling of having to dumb down to socialize with most people. Originally I thought that that I was socially inept and I would never get it but as I grew older and made different types of friends, I learned that there wasn't anything extra to understand, people just are ignorant and do not want to look at the full scope of all things. Really can you blame them? It really seems the more you understand the less you can enjoy the simple things in life. I don't know though, I enjoyed reading all of your posts., maybe we just find joy in understanding.

Builder

August 30, 2009 The author (me) has not authorized blocking of the second page of this article, as the notice says. There is no reason that it should be hidden. This has been done without my permission. Builder (Bill Allin)

Klimo9

I only read the first 5-6 comments, but instantly felt a slight sense of relief knowing others feel the same way I do. Thank you, Casandrita, for your comments. I think I relate to what you said the most. It is easy for people who "aren't there" to give pat answers suggesting you create your own happiness or stop living in your head so much. Unfortunately, it isn't that simple. I have worked on myself, intentionally, to become balanced emotionally and intellectually. I am acutely aware, within myself, that I do not "fit in" with most people. However, other people do not see me as "not fitting in" because I have learned, through social skills and genuine compassion toward others how to fit in. I, like Casandrita, have some close friends that "meet emotional needs" on a certain level. And, I have kept the masses at a distance as well. But, that only goes so far. Emotional satisfaction is not a substitute for intelligent conversation or connecting through higher level thinking. My friends are amazing and really there for me if I need a shoulder to cry on or want to take a hike in the woods. However, if I were to talk to them about my passion for quantum mechanics they'd get that "deer in the headlights" look on their faces and think I was crazy. I keep those things to myself & "dumb down" my conversations to keep my friendships. I do not want to end up an old, lonely recluse. Additionally, I have to really work on being patient with people and not building resentment or judgment. Frankly, I am not stimulated by or interested in 99% of the conversations I have with everyone around me. This creates a yearning for "someone like me." My point is there is a void. It is a desire to communicate with others at the same intellectual level and almost never having it. If you are craving a chocolate milkshake and people keep handing you glasses of water, your craving will never be quenched. You just learn to drink your water silently and shut up about the milkshake.

Builder

Thanks Lemonade. A tested IQ of 85 could easily be accounted for by a learning problem, such as ADHD which makes certain kinds of tests impossible to "pass." I was functionally illiterate until 22 years ago. Before that I achieved a BA and a Master of Education. I got them honestly, but I never read a book cover to cover in high school or university. I used to get IQ scores around the average, though I seldom completed more than half the IQ tests in school. When I finally did complete one in teacher's college my score was very high. Before that my teachers all adamantly claimed that I was lazy. Your disability, like mine, is hidden so we don't get the help or respect that people with visible disabilities get in most places now.

esmailrw

I'd like to avoid any salubrious verbiage, but after perusing some of the puerile comments posted by other members I was drawn from my proverbial den and I'm going to make a decidedly apposite contribution to this conversation. My IQ was assessed at 85. I've been called "retarded" myriad times...but I really don't care; I am a pertanacious person and I will be a perfectly valuable addition to society. My only desire is that those of you who have been blessed with intelligence will treat disabled people like myself with at minimum a modicum of respect. Thank you.

Casandrita

PART 1 This is quite the demographically diverse thread; or so it seems regarding age, gender, and IQ! It is extremely informative and comforting in an uncomfortable way ... lol. When I chose to comment I went about my business creating an account only to find that all the great screen names had already been taken. So, I was going to call myself "All-the good-ones-are-taken" until I noticed that so had my email address - ominous sign!!? On searching my archives of various login IDs and passwords I discovered that I already had an account ... lol; = -50 on the IQ scale? I found myself identifying with most of the material presented in at least the first 20 posts; I didn't have the stamina to read the 550 comments that have been posted to date. In summary, I would like to suggest that a few of the unanswered questions can possibly be answered by Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs; I personally found the "Basic Needs Checklist for Depression" something to which I could better relate due to the level of detail provided ... check it and "The Learning Path" out [http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/...]. IMPORTANT NOTE: I am not affiliated with this organisation in any way shape or form - this is not an add ... and, the material presented is free. Author Background: I am a 39 year old Ontario, Canada female who is struggling with trying to understand the meaning and purpose of it all. Engaged twice, a few other long term relationships afterwards, worked within 5 different companies, and just underwent a major career shift from automotive industry to renewables I am interested in understanding everything, in all fields, a voracious non-fiction reader with a Masters in Applied Science and a green/hippy streak a mile wide!! I am apparently a very entertaining but unorthodox story teller & Teaching Assistant and unabashed when it comes to socializing with complete strangers ... but then, much like what Kimba_882 stated in her comments, when it comes to men .... The initial intrigue and attraction due to the fact that I am much more well-rounded and possibly infinitely more interesting than their doily-crocheting wife ends with wife not wanting me as her friend and husband feeling intimidated 'cause I'm also handy with cars and home renovations. Contrary to what some men think, though a single male can party with a husband and wife if he is the friend of the husband, the same does not apply for a single woman regardless of whose friend she is :O( ... read on for Part 2 (apparently there is a character limit) ...

Casandrita

PART 2 So, on to ACJC regarding the ability that intelligent people should inherently have to 'create ways to be happy': This sounds like a very logical and sound suggest. Unfortunately, on review of the "Basic Needs" one will find that 'The need for stimulation and challenge' and 'The need for meaning, purpose and goals' may be hard to fulfil to a satisfactory level when one is surrounded by imbeciles. musicranbyme suggests that we should focus on how we can make the world a better place. Unfortunately, many people, for the most part, do not want the kind of 'help' an intellectual would be interested in offering i.e., the intellectual would not find giving the kind of help sought interesting, challenging and/or rewarding. So, one may ask, what is the answer - how does one get beyond feelings of dissatisfaction, not fitting in, loneliness, etc ... I considered a frontal lobotomy .. lol .. :oP but changed my mind 'cause I kind of like me as I am and don't want to be one of the masses. On a more serious note: I propose that a closer evaluation of ones sphere of influence is in order to determine exactly what small niche within the world could be improved by each of our very individual existences. Also, I've chosen to expect less from others than I do from myself - reduces sadness and disappointment; gather a small circle of friends who serve specific interest / emotional connection needs, as opposed to amassing a hoard of acquaintances that do nothing but disappoint (further aggravating the disappointment). I've also resorted to posting the "Basic Needs Checklist" on my fridge to see how I can fulfil these as I really think that there is a lot of truth to these in relation to personal happiness if not fulfillment. Hope that this post is something that at least a few can associate with and that it offered perspective & a useful source for further research ... if not, it was a great outlet for me and allowed me to summarise my thoughts and feelings for myself - thanks for reading on if you made it this far :OP

foreverland

I don´t have as high an IQ as most people here - it´s about 145 - but I do think I'm quite intelligent, because it's really easy for me to grasp things and learn them (especially languages) - I just understand things without them always having to be explained to me. I've been through pretty much all the stuff people here have. I've been very depressed, but not because of something that happened. I was trapped inside my head and terribly frightened about the future. I've been bullied, alienated and there was a time when I didn't get on with anyone because I thought they were all stupid. But things changed. Guys, to all of you out there who are struggling - I think what would help if you stopped living inside your own head so much. Sureley kindness and love are more important than intelligence? And what about a sense of humour, which certainly helps you through life's difficulties. The problem with intelligent people is that you...we... analyse ourselves too much. You can be a brilliant scientist without constantly thinking about how you are alienated from the world. There are many different facets to the human experience, and it's not really possible to rank them. Intelligence is what changes the world, but you guys should appreciate other things, like having a good laugh with a friend, or seeing the kindness in people and having some yourself. I'm sorry, and I mean this as advice, not an insult, but many of you seem self absorbed. Try to concentrate on other things - the world outside your head. You might discover a new side to yourself. Please, all I am asking is to stop thinking about yourself and your loneliness and your fear. There are many things to see in the world - in people, in art, in literature, in nature. Surely your intelligence will allow you to appreciate them all the better. And this will not be dumbing yourself down at all. Not obsessing over your emotional state will not affect your understanding of the finer points of the Large Hadron Collider whatsoever - and you will discover other types of intelligence you didn't know you had: the very same physical, social and emotional intelligence mentioned in the article. Oh, and if anyone has any questions about this post my email address is whiterump@gmail.com. I will try to help.