Forks was the opposite of Phoenix. Phoenix was a big city. Forks was a small town.Phoenix was sunny and warm. Forks was rainy and cold. (It was in Washington State, for crying out loud!) My zany, fun-loving mother lived in Phoenix. My boring, law-enforcing father lived in Forks. Phoenix began with the “f” sound. Forks began with anactual friggin’ “F.”Yet, as miserable as Forks was, I, Bella Swoon, was voluntarily banishing myself there.It’s true. I was making this inhumanly tortuous choice as a selfless sacrifice to mymother’s happiness. That’s the kind of girl I am. Selfless to the core.You see, my mother married a hottie. She was staying home with me instead of travelingwith him. So I volunteered – no, I
– on going to live with my father in Forks somy mother could go on the road with her hot, new husband.That’s the kind of girl I am. You’d think someone as selfless as me would have a really,really close BFF, but I don’t. Maybe that’s because my mom is my best friend, even if Idon’t tell her anything about what’s really going on in my life. I mean, best friend or not,she’s still my
.To make a long opening a little more tolerably short, I was damning myself to veritableexile in a veritable Siberia.