6 Effective But Not Easy Communication Skills For Your Relationship
When you are trying to understand what your partner is saying, they feel heard andrespected. They begin to feel like you care about what they are saying and theirdefenses go down.When their guard is lowered, communication can be effectively achieved.Example:
You respond, “Honey, are you saying that it upsets you when you get
home because I have
n’t cleaned?” Keep in mind that this is your interpretation
because you feel attacked.
Your partner could respond like this, “No, I’m not saying that. I’ve just really had
a bad day at work.
I’m hungry and then I see that the kids have left toys all over t
I just get even angrier. I know you do your best to keep up.
I’m just frustrated with everything that’s going on.”
You see, when you clarify, you are allowing your partner to tell you exactly what is on their mind.
In this example, the partner is angry not really at his family, but more upset with something that happened at work. You may never know that, however, if you did not first clarify.
4. Observe your own reactions
As you listen to and understand what your partner is saying, observe your ownreactions.This is a very difficult step because we have to be honest with ourselves here.Are we feeling defensive?Are we trying to just defend our side as opposed to negotiate and understand?