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I HAVE A DREAM I have a dream that many subscribers' brains are teeming with ideas, aspirations, questions and emotions, full of racing thoughts, that they're scratching pens, writing an endless stream of ideas and thoughts...
Welcome to this our first newsletter! Goanet-Femnet. is an initiative for women by women. Our aim is to Imagine your words in print reaching a wider audience. Imagine that maybe, just maybe, your create a network of women who will words can make a difference. Strike a chord. Touch a life. Change the world. inspire, encourage and empower each other to fulfill their dreams, Imagine no more. Just pen those great words and let's together be the change agents of today. whatever they might be. The articles in this newsletter will give Oh wow, how many articles do I see coming to Goanet-Femnet, right this minute? you, the reader a chance to get a Love. Thank you and be blessed. small taste of what it is like for Betsy other women like yourselves, and (This article has been copied from the book "I have a dream 2009, Words to change the world / 2009 Poetry hopefully you too will want to Competition for 11-18 year olds, and adapted for our Goanet-Femnet initiative.) share something you've experienced.
The internet is a powerful networking tool which connects For about thirty years, I forgot people around the world. This is how 'Goan' I was. Perhaps, why we have chosen to build this because when I first arrived in network online where we can America from England, there were share things with you and receive no Goans in these parts - only a lot feedback almost instantly
Betsy Pinto-Nunes, a lady with a was kind of adopted by an Italianknack of getting women from American family here in Bridgeport different backgrounds together, is Connecticut and everything I did was the driving force behind Goanetwith the Italians - from cooking, Femnet. She has always been s u r ro u n d e d by a n et wo r k o f shopping and dining. I even started to fascinating women, a network of which sound like them - at least that's what my Mom said when she came to see me after you are now a part. Our first issue has a selection of articles somewhat like the movie 'MOON on various topics like rediscovering ones Goan roots, an inspiring woman, STRUCK' with Cher and Nicholas Cage. embracing life at 60, a glimpse into the life of Arnold and I would travel to Canada for women living with HIV/AIDS in India and on our dose of Goan Culture during the coping with death.
where I was from, I had to keep playing the broken record Portuguese/Indian born in Africa, had a British education... yada, yada, yada!! Well now, I am finally finding my Roots in the comfort of my own home - on the Internet and in the more wonderful stories I read from my old school mates - Maf, Carol, Catherine, Colleen, Evelyn, Genny and Mel. I am so fascinated that the Goan Community in Africa has kept archives of our rich culture thanks to our many Goan writers. One of them is Braz Menezes whose book 'JUST MATATA' (we bought a few copies and distrbuted them to other members of my family) really gave an insight into our growing up in Colonial East Africa. So to all my countrymen, I want to say: THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES. -I hope I don't sound like BOB HOPE.!!
holidays. We did this for about ten To make the first issue even more special, we years and then, as my kids have included a two page supplement to introdeveloped into teenagers with duce our founder members to you subscribers. opinions, the protests began: by Carmen ne Nazareth now Marcia DoRosario "Why do we have to go there Remember, this newsletter is a forum, in which you where everyone is brown? are invited to express yourself. Feel free to pen down HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY yo u r t h o u g ht s a n d s e n d t h e m a c ro s s to Well, I couldn't fight them femnet@goanet.org. Just make sure that your forever and finally gave up. This is a place to do it. Reach out to Fellow However, I continued to cook some traditional Once again thanks for being part of the network Happy Goan food especially Reading! Potato Chops and Enjoy! Sorpotel and every Janis Mwosa time I was asked
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Subscribers with interesting anecdotes, inspiring stories and heartwarming moments from your life. Write an article with a maximum of 600 words, poem or even a drawing, email it to femnet@goanet.org, (your contact details will not be disclosed) and make this space your own. Page 1
VICTORIA How do you juggle a heavy work schedule, look after a growing family and come out smelling roses? Well, I know a young lady who did (and continues to do) just that! Whilst studying for her undergrad degree in Food Science, she had her first child. He was a bouncing boy weighed in at 7lbs 10 oz. The next two and a half years were difficult, as she still had to look after a baby and study at the same time. Then along came her second child - another little boy. Six months later they moved to Florida as hubby secured a job there. They were now settling to a more normal family life and she decided to do her Masters in Food Science. In her final year, baby #3 arrived. since very young) and the girls are still in school playing soccer, doing track-and-field, music (violin and piano), dance (jazz, tap, etc) but it won't be long before they too will be flying the coop!
NOT QUITE OVER THE HILL, MORE ON TOP OF IT! On reaching 60, I was unbelieving that this milestone had come why it was only yesterday that I was 16! I vividly remembered the barbeque my adored parents Jerry & Helen Fernandes held for me at our home in Nairobi, the drop waist dress my Mum lovingly sewed we used to call them Twist dresses-and the pretty sling back shoes I wore. Feeling very adult and assuming I was, I did not realise then, that it is life experiences that shape adulthood and mould the character.
As if she wasn't busy enough: in-between all this, she has been, and still is, a food safety consultant. This involves visiting various food stores and restaurants ensuring that they maintain good food standards and On reaching 50 it dawned on me, that it was practices. She is also involved in training perhaps the stable and loving family life managers in the food service industry. that nurtured my confidence from my sweet sixteen days. At 50 I felt self assured While doing her undergrad, she met and married a Colombian (who was brought up and empowered by the ability to be vocal in Spain) and was doing his PhD in when others cowered. molecular biology and biochemistry. She learned Spanish during her many sojourns in Spain to visit the in-laws and started teaching Spanish in the girls' school. This progressed from one class to several. At the same time, she also embarked on a business selling olive oil. At 60 I have mellowed, value routine in my life and as I recap, I smile at the thought of my rebel years, my courtship days and above all the continuing wife and mother years - each one shaping me into the senior citizen( as classified by Government! ) that I am today! My son sent me a card on my 60th stating that 60 is the new 40! and in today's world that does have a ring of truth to itstill want to dance like I've never danced before, romance with hubby and act crazy (just a little!) with girlfriends, all of whom are 60+ too! This joie de vivre must come from my parents- my Dad danced the night away on his 90th, my Mum took a trip to Rome with her daughters on her 80th- all girls together- but sadly our last one with her. I was honoured to be asked to join GoanetFemnet as a Founder Member - Betsy Nunes, its creator, has proven that age is no barrier to achieving. She has surely set the bar high, developing and realising her dream of this global dialogue between women. So may my spirit always be willing to embark on ventures new the flesh with regular yoga could be coaxed into submission too! by Mafalda-Anne (Mafie) Desa Anagrams Solutions: BETSY | EDITOR|
LADIES | ARTICLES | SHARING | VIEWS
The following year, they moved on to the Eastern Seaboard. A few years later, came two more babies beautiful, delightful little angels. Added to this, were the normal soccer-mom chores, driving all over town to practices, tournaments, scouts, basketball, etc - and when the girls were I did ask her how she managed all this her older there were dance and music lessons, response was she had good role models --her Mum, Mother-in-Law and Aunts! Also, parties, etc, etc. through the tough times, Mum and siblings Fast-forward 22 years, the eldest is in third were always on hand for those extra pairs of year university doing industrial distribution hands! supply chain management, the second in first year architecture , the third a soccer Who, you may ask, is this young lady?? My and track-and-field champion will be inspiration my niece, Victoria! going into university next year to do by Colleen DSouza medicine (something he has wanted to do COFFEE TIME QUOTES ON WOMEN BY WOMEN Solve these ANAGRAMS (hint: clues within this issue) In politics, if you want anything said, ask a manif you want anything done, ask a woman Margaret Thatcher BYTES RIOTED A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. Rhonda Hansome IDEALS RECITALS Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. Eleanor Roosevelt GARNISH WIVES Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as
Answers on bottom right corner men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not of this page. difficult. Charlotte Whitton Visit us at femnet.goanet.org
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VOICES OF RESILIENCE
The book, 'Voices of resilience: stigma, discrimination and marginalisation of Indian women living with HIV/AIDS' reports on an in-depth study undertaken with women infected and affected by HIV in a lower socio-economic area of Mumbai, India. The book discusses the stigma and discrimination that exists within the family and community against these women.
nutrition, and a home-based service to the n e a r b y community slums. The study was undertaken at the K J Somaiya Hospital HIV Project (SAHAS) in Mumbai whose assistance in facilitating the visits with the women was invaluable. The results of the study indicated that these women experienced stigma and discrimination in their families, communities and health care settings. Fear of future stigma and discrimination towards themselves, their children and extended family resulted in secrecy which, in turn, prevented them from accessing community and health services which could provide emotional and physical support. Women who could not disclose their condition for fear of stigma and discrimination were extremely isolated, lacked family and community support and feared for the future.
The community health workers working at the grass-roots and for home-based health programmes are vital in providing emotional support and health information to the women. Policy makers and programmes have to look further for health and community education strategies which would engage men in the process to change their attitudes and thus protect vulnerable women and children as men have a pivotal role in transforming the status of women. Effective policies and programmes that support women in their family role and which also address their own needs are essential. Women have to be supported, empowered and encouraged over time to develop confidence in their abilities and strengths. Changing attitudes and beliefs is the precursor to behavioural change and is more complex than delivering knowledge and awareness programmes. The book portrays the resilience of each woman's spirit and the unique capacity of the women to cope, to find strength, to pursue life and to maintain hope when their dreams and the dreams of their children have been shattered through HIV/AIDS. It is hoped that the findings of this study will also contribute to the development of an action-oriented program to HIV and women's health underpinned by a human rights approach in India and other country with gender disparities by Jaya Earnest.
However, despite their appalling living The book can be purchased by emailing conditions of poverty, overcrowding, Jaya (J.Earnest@curtin.edu.au) prevalence of disease and pollution, the
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ON DEATH AND GRIEVING c o u l d b e p a ra l y s i n g , c a u s i n g u s to avoid life, living in constant dread and excluding us from the vibrant richness of knowing and experiencing the different facets of life. For others, the knowledge of death could be galvanising, prompting us to plunge whole-heartedly into the fullness of life - riding the crests and troughs that this would bring. Which of these two approaches do you think would This cycle of life, we all know, will one day in the end better prepare us to face end in death. Nothing else causes more fear the final curtain ourselves, or the pain of and sorrow than this inevitable reality. Yet, losing a loved one? in this knowledge lies both bondage and liberation. Death is loss. Death is a letting Death follows life and life should follow go. death. The best preparation or response to death would be to build a multi-faceted life Behind every painful experience is loss. And for oneself - family, friends, work, hobbies, one of the deepest pains is that of losing a sports, creativity, social service, prayer, dearly beloved. But grief, like life itself, is dreams etc. also a cycle. The phases a person facing his/her own imminent death are similar to The clock of life is wound but once, what a bereaved person goes through. And no man has the power, To tell just when the hands will stop, Initially there is shock, a numbing of feeling. At late or early hour. This is followed by denial. No! It can't be! Now - is the only time you own. Then may come anger. Why? Why? Why? Live, Love, Work with a Will. Depression may then take over the person. Place no faith in tomorrow, for What's the use of anything, anyway? But The clock may then be still. this is not the end of the process, which would be followed by acceptance and a Living in the Now is the way to happiness. moving on. Do what needs to be done today, so there is no regret or fear tomorrow. Live life today The different phases and how long each and do not waste it crying over yesterday or lasts depend upon the individual person. If worrying about tomorrow. This is the the pain is deep and unbearable, these choice we have to make, because finally, it emotions may be suppressed, which could is a choice that we make, knowingly or interfere with a healthy grieving process. unknowingly, with very different results. Each phase is important and the feelings generated, though intense, should be In 'The Prophet', Kahlil Gibran writes: acknowledged and dealt with at the 'You would know the secret of death. person's own pace.. Getting permanently But how shall you find it unless you seek it or inordinately stuck in denial, anger or in the heart of life? depression would be very unfortunate The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind indeed. It would be a defeat of life itself. unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. The only triumph over death is life. I may If you would indeed behold the spirit of not have control over how long I live, but I death, open your heart wide unto the definitely have control over how I choose to body of life. live it. For some of us, the fear of death Out of life comes death, And out of death, life. Out of the young, the old, And out of the old, the young. Out of waking, sleep, And out of sleep, waking. The stream of creation and Dissolution never stops. - Heraclitus
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. We cannot separate death from life. We cannot hide away from death. It is only by embracing life fully that we will be able to face death (both, in ourselves as well as in our loved ones) with equanimity. The true strength and power of the human spirit can only be known by soaring to its heights as well as plumbing its depths. Then we will be able to understand the beautiful Jewish teaching (Courtesy Dr. Jaime Rangel): 'There are three ascending levels of how one mourns: With tears - that is the lowest. With silence - that is higher. And with a song - that is the highest. by Dr. Belinda Viegas (Dr. Belinda Viegas is a practising psychiatrist based in Goa. She is the author of the books The Cry of the Kingfisher, Goa Maaza and The Golden Gate)
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PAM GONSALVES, UK
With both her daughters at university and her husband Don in full time work, Pam decided to leave home and husband to realise her dream! A one year Oxford University diploma at 53, was a stepping stone to go to university for four years. She graduated in Third World Studies with a year in China teaching English, and learning basic Mandarin, Chinese painting and calligraphy. Pam hopes to encourage and inspire women, that its never too late to chase their dreams! Pam is an active campaigner and fundraiser, for charity. As part of Save Goa Campaign UK, Pam and others representing the Goan diaspora world wide, presented signed petitions to the Chief Minister of Goa to stop the rapid spread of all illegal mining in the State.
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CYNTHIA PINTOMCDONNELL, UK
Cynthia did her schooling at Loreto Convent, Nairobi, and Millfield, Somerset. She completed her BSc at London School of Economics, U.K and MA from George Washington University, U.S.A., in social psychology. She is married to John M c D o n n e l l , a L a b o u r M . P. representing Hayes and Harlington constituency. She has one son, Joseph. Cynthia has worked for several international Research Companies and is now a Director of Electoral Reform Services, U.K. She has written several papers and delivered speaking engagements. Her personal voluntary activities include: 2002 present Governor of Dr. Triplett's Primary School, 2011 Trustee of Schools HR Cooperative, 2011, Chair of the Patients Participation Group of Hayes Medical Centre. She enjoys sailing, theatre and travelling and is proud to join Goanet-Femnet as a Founder Member.
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