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Leahs Paper Peer Reviewed

Leahs Paper Peer Reviewed

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Published by acrumble46

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Published by: acrumble46 on Apr 16, 2012
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Smitley 1Leah SmitleyMs. CarusoEnglish 1202-Final ProjectApril 11, 2012
In Awe of the Vanderbilt’s
 The Vanderbilt family may be the most widely known family in the 1800s and 1900s inAmerica who changed the culture of North Carolina. The family was compared to royaltybecause of their wealth, social status and the way society viewed them. Love, though, is not
always an adjective that comes to mind when discussing the Vanderbilt’s. In the
proposed book,
In Awe of the Vanderbilt’s
, love is shown by how it is expressed and how it is completelyignored. George Washington Vanderbilt II is noted for being a fair and just employer, yet in thebook he is made out to be a material man who thinks of business more than family. Although hispersonality may be kind when looking on the surface, it is narrator that shows his true colors.George and Edith are the main benefactors to how betrayal can occur in even the most structuredhome. In
Awe of the Vanderbilt’
s is meant to be a simple story with twists to show a timelessfamily and a back-story no one has heard
beginning of the book starts when the main character is twelve years old, yet manyevents that happened in the past are mentioned such as when George built the Biltmore, marriedEdith and when they had Cornelia. It is not reveled until much later that Brooklynn, the maincharacter and Theodoor, another important character, are actually twins. The book goes in achronological order, but she, the narrator, remembers and learns things from the past. Animportant part of the whole book is that Brooklynn is the narrator and talks from first person, butevery few chapters Theodoor becomes the narrator and the readers can hear his point of view.
Comment [A1]:
Reviewed by Aaron Crumbley
Comment [A2]:
Pretty good intro paragraph, theset up is filled with interesting ideas that seem deep.
Comment [A3]:
Possibly say this a different way,make it a bit more interesting?
Smitley 2This type of book will allow readers to know the inside feelings of two characters and how theview the same situation. It is interesting to see how twins living in the same home, but growingup differently will think the same, yet act
differently. The beginning of the book is centered onhow Brooklynn is raised by the famous Vanderbilt family and what her life consists of. This partis very inward centered. She describes her feelings towards her family and towards herself;readers come to know who she is and what motives her actions.The middle portion of 
In Awe of the Vanderbilt’s
is when there is more interactionbetween characters. Brooklynn meets Amery and their relationship grows to a romantic love.Brooklynn talks to Theodoor more and feels certain a connection
, that she isn’t sure she wants to
have. Brooklynn begins to come into her own and starts to question the world she was raised in.Her problems may seem small, but as she ages and her life becomes more complicated herproblems grow and how she handles them is more mature manner. Theodoor is going through thesame problems of not belonging. He loves his family and has no problem with them, butsomewhere in the deepest part of his soul he is missing something. He feels an ache when hethinks of living a different life. An ache of guilt for thinking he should be somewhere else and anache of sadness because he longs to be where his heart knows he should be.
This part of the book is meant to create anticipation. The reader knows none of the information, but they knowsomething big is going to happen. All the characters have confusion and question their lives orchoices. George and Edith wonder if they made the right decision eighteen years ago, Amery
questions his father about his love’s p
ast. Brooklynn and Theodoor are confused about theemptiness they feel. The middle part of the book is there to add interactions between characters,show how their lives are changed by the split and builds
Comment [A4]:
Seems like a ton of information,maybe elaborate on some key events and go intodetail about them and eliminate some other things.
Comment [A5]:
Very interesting concept, excitedto see how this turns out.
Comment [A6]:
Good few sentences elaborating
on Theodoor’s emotions. This is what I meant about
elaborating on earlier ideas.
Comment [A7]:
Good second page overall, clearand full of detailed information that keeps mefocused.
Smitley 3The last section of the book is all about the characters finding out the truth and how it
affects the rest of their lives. Amery’s father was there when the twins were separated; Amery
finally gets his father to confess. With this knowledge Amery tells the woman he loves,Brooklynn. There are secrets said throughout the book that finally make sense. In context thereaders realizes they were talking
about the separation. Brooklynn freaks out and doesn’t knowwhat to do. She is so angry that she storms into her parent’s room and conf 
ronts them about it all.At that moment the readers learn the whole truth in order and everything is out in the air. Thereis a huge argument and confrontation. The next day Theodoor is sent away before he can learnthe truth of his life. He joins the French Foreign
Legion, looking for something to invest his newstrange life in. Within a year he is killed in battle. While he is in France, Brooklynn and Ameryrun away together and end up getting married in Kansas. George erases Brooklynn from thefamily line and tries to cover up the whole mess without anyone knowing. Cornelia marries a
rich man and the Vanderbilt’s are saved from bankruptcies’
, yet everyone feels differently than
they expected. George dies after Cornelia’s wedding from a
heart attack due to stress. Edithremarries mainly to change her last name and to try to forget her mistakes. Cornelia makes the
Biltmore public and moves out because she can’t stand to live in a home with such horrible
memories; she later gets a divorce because she feels her marriage is a fake. The Vanderbiltfamily is in shambles and nothing is the
same.The book,
In Awe of the Vanderbilt’s
challenges the well known Vanderbilt family bycreating a story that is suppose to be a deep, secretive narrative of inside the home and awayfrom the public. This book is a mysterious, historical, love story that can grab the attention of  just about anyone. The book is about a simple family with complex problems and intensefeelings.
Comment [A8]:
Not sure what this sentencemeans?
Comment [A9]:
Change this sentence to be a bitmore clear.
Comment [A10]:
Feel like things are moving
fast, maybe that’s how this paper should be but less
information with more detail is better
Comment [A11]:
Wow, a dramatic change fromthe whole tempo of the book it seems.
Comment [A12]:
Overall I think the concept is agreat idea and you have plenty of information, Iwould say maybe either take out some informationor just elaborate on everything and make the paper abit longer. Everything seems to be there and theideas you pose are definitely very intriguing, I wouldread this book if it was published. Your introductionis very well written, although there could be somelength put into the conclusion just to sum up thepaper as a whole. Your purpose was knownthroughout the paper and the only thing whenrevising I would focus on is little grammar andspelling errors.

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