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Keris Peer Review to Me

Keris Peer Review to Me

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Published by Jenna Price

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Published by: Jenna Price on Apr 16, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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Price 1
 
Jenna PriceMrs. CarusoENGL 11025 April 2012Final Proposal
The Mysterious Sinking 
is derived from the actual events of the Titanic.
 
The story isabout a middle-aged woman, Rebecca, who was on board the titanic with her husband and three
 
kids. Everyone was told the titanic “accidently” collided with the iceberg, but Rebecca is theonly one who knows that is not true. The collision with the iceberg was no accident andRebecca’s goal is to get the truth out into the world. She is the main character of this suspenseful
 
novel.The purpose behind this novel is providing entertainment as well as mystery for all of itsreaders.
 
The mysterious sinking will be fiction and nonfiction at the same time. It will pursue a
 
fiction story but give accurate details on the actual sinking of the Titanic. This will make itsomewhat nonfiction. Readers will understand in depth what exactly happened on the night of the sinking of this “unsinkable” ship, the real story.The movie “The Titanic” really inspired me to write this novel. I see the movie as harshyet romantic and peaceful. It sets a tender mood that onlookers really seem to enjoy. When thenovel first came to mind, the actual events were undecided. It wasn’t until later on that thedecision was made to add a mysterious edge to the novel. When people think of the titanic, theythink of a romance that involves a famous ship that hit an iceberg. The audience seems to look  past the fact of children and loving families were on board, as well. This novel will introduce thehardships that one specific lower class family deals with from the time they were on board the
 
4/10/12 11:29 AM
Comment [1]:
Reviewed by Keri :)Wants to know what else to include inthe paper.
 
4/10/12 11:29 AM
Comment [2]:
Keri Flowe Apr 10, '12, 10:24 AMYou could give a summary of the storylater on the the paper to give moredetail of what is actually going tohappen.
 
4/10/12 11:29 AM
Comment [3]:
Keri Flowe Apr 10, '12, 10:25 AMGive more information on thecharacters. Not only just about themain character Rebecca, but also herfamily and any other characters thereare.
 
4/10/12 11:29 AM
Comment [4]:
Keri Flowe Apr 10, '12, 10:27 AMWhy is she the only one that knows?You might not want to explain thisright here but maybe somewhere inthe rest of the paper.
 
4/10/12 11:29 AM
Comment [5]:
Keri Flowe Apr 10, '12, 10:28 AMCould explain more of why this is asuspenseful novel.
 
4/10/12 11:29 AM
Comment [6]:
Keri Flowe Apr 10, '12, 10:29 AMCould start this paragraph out with amore interesting beginning and thenadd in the purpose. Also give it aeasier flow from the first paragraph.
 
4/10/12 11:29 AM
Comment [7]:
Keri Flowe Apr 10, '12, 10:31 AMMaybe reword these three sentencesand add more detail of why it willinclude both fiction and nonfictioninformation.
 
4/10/12 11:29 AM
Comment [8]:
Keri Flowe Apr 10, '12, 10:33 AMTry to rewrite with sentence withoutusing “I”.
 

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