Ripped from an convicted existentialist's memoir....
CERTAINLY HEROES MUST EXIS
who do their utmost,
even in a state of quiet desperation,
to search out and destroy
the monstrous deceits
that mislead hapless clods
along the well-beaten paths
to the graveyard.
Surely a strenuous effort
must always be made
by some fervent revolutionary to,
somehow, for the time being,
conquer the illusory world
that confronts the Task
with insidious deceptions.
And this even believing the Task
is futile, hence absurd,
and paradoxically,suicidal,
because the self is of the illusion
to be dispelled,
a witch to be cremated
on the stake erected for vanity.
If only I too might be a hero,
and put aside the flask
with its bewitching potion
of non-alcoholic self-delusion.
If only I might recover
from self-intoxicated drunkenness
in time to bloom belatedly.
If only I might be the Joker
or Hamlet in the Deck,
rolled over at the last moment
to fulfill the heroic examples
of the illustrious noble lords and ladies
who were from birth fully committed
to the Task.If only this fond wish might serve
as my successful entreaty to my Muse
to bestow upon my genius enough madness
to faithfully embark
on the most fantastic adventure of all,
and to relish the Grand Project of my life
no matter how futile, unrealistic,
and impossible the Task may seem.For here I am yet again
under the crushing weight
of my insignificance,
the unutterable heaviness of being
that affirms everything I am not.
The preponderance of the evidence against me
magnifies my worthlessness
to the degree that I am truly astonished
by the grandeur of my insignificance.
Yet I fear falling back asleep;
for this almost unbearable weighty feeling
is just a shade of the terror
from which I awoke.Surely there can be no greater horror on Earth
than a ride on that pallid Nightmare
stepping out slowly but surely
along the black bridleless paths to nowhere.
Nevertheless, if Sleep,
Death's twin,seizes me again,
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Certainly Heroes Must Exist
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