Page
3
heVoiceOfYouth
UnrequitedLove-TheBacklash(andsomeotherstuff)
byTheNon-ResidentDoc.
'H
ieverybody!(Asafa-
I
mousT.v.Doctoroncesaid:"sendyouranswersonapostcardtothemag.")Thisisyoursubversive,non-regular,non-residentDoc-torheretosharehisexperienceandsavethedayoncemore.Firstlytothe"ResidentDoc."
I
amafteryourjob!Wedon'tknowwhoyouarebutwhynotrykeepingadiaryorsomethinginsteadofbroadcastingyourlifeoutloud?Okay,sothemaga-zinewouldbefarlessinterestingandentertainingbutdoyouhon-estlybelievethat
Q
willknowwhoheis?
(I
do-knowwhoheis,thatis,notbelievethathedoes.)Here'sthehelpbit...look,RD.(ResidentDoc.),theonlywaythatyoucanfindoutforsureifanythingwillhappenistoaskQ.Okay,soyoudon;tknoweachother,whynot
try
togetcloserthroughbeingfriendsfirst.
I
knowthisfromexperi-ence.Thinkabouttheprobabil-
.ty.
Youliterallyhave
no
chanceofhimaskingyou-hedoesn'tknowyouandisfartooshyany-way.Youhavesomechanceifyougettoknowhimbetterthanyoudonow...thenaskhim.Myfinalpieceofadvice,onthis,(takenfromsomethingfa-mous,again,answersonapostcard)DON'TPANIC!Secondpieceofadvice:ditheryenotonsuchpaltrymat-tersassmellybellybuttons,worrymuchmoreaboutthisseason'smostfrequentdis-ease:
"The
technicolour
hairvirus"
(T.H.V.).Sufferersofthis'terribleafflictionshouldbekeptwellawayfromandsoJeeredatfromasafedistance.The
T.H.v.
showsitselfbychangingthehaircolourofitshost.Particularlyvirulentduringthesummermonths,itgenerally
...worrymuchmoreaboutthisseason'smostfrequentdisease:
"The
technicolourhairvirus"(T.H.V~)..
onlymakesthehairgoblond,butinextremecases,redandevengingerhairhasbeenfound.Youhavebeenwarned!Finally,...Spaghettiisforlife,justforTablefuneralwakes.YouknowwhatI'mtakingaboutalleged"DrChiRihLal.Youdon'tlovethatsticklikeIdo.Giveherback,giveherbaaack!!!IshallreturnagainwhenIamneeded.
AFlashFromThePast-anexcerptfrom"TheRivingtonian"-SummerTerm,1960TheSixth-FormersDilemma
(withapologiestoShakespeare)
T
ostayornot
to
stay-thatisthequestion!Whether'tisnoblerinthemindtosufferTherulesandordersofoutrageousschool-lifeOrtotakearmsagainsttheStaffwhomake'emAnd,byopposing,endthem?-Tostay,torot-Nomore;andbysuchrottosayweendTheboredomandthethousandruderemarksThatweareproneto,''tisaconsummationDevoutlytobewish
'd.
Torot,tostay.Tostay,perchancetowork,whatStaffmaycomeWhenwehaveshuffledoffthispresent'mob'Mustgiveuspause.There'stherespectThatmakescalamity
0/
so
long
life,
Forwhowouldbeartheshameandtoila/standards,Themarker'sjibes,thewitheringsarcasm,Thepangsa/knownmistakes,results'delays.ThelazinessofofficeandthejeersThatpatientprefectsfromtheunworthytakeWhenonewitheasemighthersalvationgainThroughanopenWindow.U.VIEnglishGroup.