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TheVoiceOf
Youth-
Volume1Issue3July1998
Radiohead-
BeautifulFreaks?
byTheMask
I
onceheardoneofmynot"unattractive"friendscommentonRadiohead:"Howcansuchugly'Tlenmakesuchbeautifulmu-sic?"Firstly,asthewaysocietyoperatescannotbealteredbyonepersonalone,IwillhavetodeclineinstatingthatIbelieveindividualsshouldn'tbetriedandsentencedaccordingtotheirappearance.Surelypeo-pleshouldn'tjudgeeachotheratall?An
l
l'Al8'j,:
willdescendfrommymoralhighgroundandgoonto(tryto)answerthequestion.Radiohead'smusicmanagestobesoheart-rendingandsublimebecauseofthefactthattheyare"aestheticallychallenged".Be-causeitisusuallythepeoplevhoarevictimisedbysociety,fornotlookinglikemodels,whoarethemoresensitiveandper-ceptive.Theyneedtorelyonothertalentstosucceed,ratherthenprostitutingtheirlooks.InthecaseofThomYorke,itwashisparalysedeyelidwhichforcedhimtoretreatfromthetauntsoftheplaygroundintothemusicroom.Herehehonedhismusicalskillsandevenpro-ceededtobuildhisownguitarinordertobecome"thenextBrainMay".Theyearsoftormentfrombothhiscounterpartsandthemedia,havecausedThomtobeunsociableandmorose,refusingtodointerviewswiththeBritishpress.
Ugly
ornot,havewegottherighttojudgeothers?
Notthatthisridiculehasdonehiscreativityanyharm.Thornandco.havemanagedtotumtheirbadexperiencesintoawardwinningmusicwithsen-sationalmelodiesandelectrify-ingguitarriffs,nottomentionthelyrics;sometimesunnerving:
Continuedonpage
2...
IInSideThisIssue
!EuroNewspage2
r-
ChatUpLinespage4
I
ChannelFour'sNewesrpage5ImportScience'Anybody?page6
I
I..._
--------------------------
I
GOODBYE
L
owerSixthwouldliketowishUpperSixthGOODLUCKforthefuture!Wewouldliketosaybyetothefriendswe'vemadeandthankyouforthepartieswhichhavebeenorganisedduringthepastyear.Wehopethatwe'venotcausedtoomuchhassleforyou!Weknowwewon'tfillyourshoes(orhats)andlet'sfaceitwhowantsto(?)!Wearenotonlysayinggood~byetoUpperSixthbutalsotoMr.Mills.Whenheintroducedustotheschoolwithhisfamousassembly:"Youhave..,daysleftatthisschool."Whathere-allywascountingdownwasthenumberofdayshehadleftatthisschool.Wewouldliketowishhimallthebestforthefu-tureandthathedoesn'thavetospen,dtoo
=
atthepsychia-saftersuchacareer!
--.~--
'IMPORTANT
A
swellastheusualarticles,thefirstissuebackafterthesummerholidaysneedsarticleswhichwillgiveinfotothenewlowersixthandalsotowelcomethemtotheSixthForm.Ifanybodyhasanyarticleswhichtheywouldlikeinthisfirstissuebackpleasehandtheminbytheendofthisterm!
---
-
-_-
----
 
Page2TheVoiceOfYouth
EuroNews
EuroEnglish-EnglishruleoverGerman
T
heEuropeanUnionCommissionershaveannouncedthatagree-menthasbeenreached
to
adoptEngJishasthepreferredlan-guageforEuropeancommunica-tions,ratherthanGerman,whichwas-theotherpossibility.Aspartofthenegotiations,HerMajesty'sGovernmentcon-cededthatEnglishspellinghadsomeroomforimprovementandhasacceptedafive-yearphasedplanforwhat
will
beknownasEuroEnglish(Euroforshort).
Inthe
firstyear,
"s"will
beusedinsteadofthesoft
"c",Ser-
tainly,SivilServantswill
re-
sievethisnewswithjoy.Also,thehard"c"willbereplasedwith"k".Notonlywillthisklearupthekonfusion,buttype-writerskanhaveoneletterless.Therewillbegrowingpublikenthusiasminthesekondyear,whenthetroublesome"ph"will
...EnglishasthepreferredlanguageforEuropean-communications,ratherthanGerman...
bereplaced
by
"f".
This
will
makewordslike
"fotograph"
20%shorter.
In
the
third
year,publikak-septanseofthenewspellingkanbeexpektedtoreachthestagewheremorekornplikatedchangesarepossible.Govern-mentswillenkouragethere-movalofdoubleletters,whichhavealwaysbeenadeterenttoakuratespeling.Also,al
wil
agrethatthe
horible
mesofsilent"e"sinthelanguagisdis-grasful,and
they
wouldgo.Bythefourthyear,peoplwilbereseptivtostepssuchasplas-
ing
"th"
by
"z"
and
"w"
by
"v".
Duringzefifzyear,zeune-sesary
"0"
kanbe~ropdfromvordskontaining
"ou",
andsim-ilarchangesvud,ofkors,beaplidtoozerkornbinationsofleters.After
zis
fifzyeaar,ve
vilhay
arelisensiblritenstyl.Zervilbenomortrublsordifikultisandevrivunvilfinditezituunder-standechozer.
Zedremvilfinalikumtru!
9'1thIs.
puta
YUJrlIJ,£UI.k
you
IE-
all/Ju_
PR.lJ.piewlllJ-
IULC)'R.
in.
J.JJ,"-UIl'J.alj..
lulp.ed
1.lJ.
pr.onUJ.le_IJ,tL
IULO
I'IUL{Jazil1R-?
InJn'l.IJU!.
IImjPI(,t.
Ie
tlteulLen.
'1ViJ)wul
IJ-t'J..lI
IIIiL
ttJ..(JUidnR1U1'-
hul'J.l'_been.
created.-
I
hal.
f"laY.
It
aoe.
bees«a
/JRuil'l.(JJ
c/I1.u~.
IJw#l/e
ytJlI
lo-Ille
reader«.
dl'IJ-8U
tcadn'(
ho
11911'
Ih
is.
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uioald.
not
beable
10.
p
rodneeIlu
"(0
oiee
Of!
f/;/.()1l11t
"I
Radiohead-
BeautifulFreaks?
continued...
"W
ehopethatyouchoke,thatyouchoke"["ExitMusic(forafilm)"],and"WhenIamkingyouwillbefirstagainstthewall
I
Wjthyouropinionwhichisofnocon-sequenceatall"("ParanoidAndroid");oftenheartbreaking:"l'rnonaroll,I'monaroIIthistime/Ifeelmyluckcouldchange"("Lucky"),and"Aheartthat'sfulluplikealandfill
I
Ajobthatslowlykillsyou
I
Bruisesthatwon'theal"("NoSurprises").Quitepossiblythesentimentsofamanbulliedinhisyouth.I,myself,donotconsiderThomtobeoverlyugly.Heandhisbandmembersareallattractiveintheirownway,likeevery-bodyelseinthisworld.Justbecauseyoudon'thaveaqueueofpeoplelininguptogetinsideofyourpantsdoesn'tmeanyouaretotallyunfanciable.Norshoulditstopyoudoingwhatyouwanttodo.So,hey,formthatbandandgetthatrecordcon-tract,because"TopofthePops"won'tnotletyouonjustbe-causeyoudon'tlooklikeanyofBoyzoneortheSpiceGirls.Andletsfaceit,whoreallywantsto?
 
Page
3
heVoiceOfYouth
UnrequitedLove-TheBacklash(andsomeotherstuff)
byTheNon-ResidentDoc.
'H
ieverybody!(Asafa-
I
mousT.v.Doctoroncesaid:"sendyouranswersonapostcardtothemag.")Thisisyoursubversive,non-regular,non-residentDoc-torheretosharehisexperienceandsavethedayoncemore.Firstlytothe"ResidentDoc."
I
amafteryourjob!Wedon'tknowwhoyouarebutwhynotrykeepingadiaryorsomethinginsteadofbroadcastingyourlifeoutloud?Okay,sothemaga-zinewouldbefarlessinterestingandentertainingbutdoyouhon-estlybelievethat
Q
willknowwhoheis?
(I
do-knowwhoheis,thatis,notbelievethathedoes.)Here'sthehelpbit...look,RD.(ResidentDoc.),theonlywaythatyoucanfindoutforsureifanythingwillhappenistoaskQ.Okay,soyoudon;tknoweachother,whynot
try
togetcloserthroughbeingfriendsfirst.
I
knowthisfromexperi-ence.Thinkabouttheprobabil-
.ty.
Youliterallyhave
no
chanceofhimaskingyou-hedoesn'tknowyouandisfartooshyany-way.Youhavesomechanceifyougettoknowhimbetterthanyoudonow...thenaskhim.Myfinalpieceofadvice,onthis,(takenfromsomethingfa-mous,again,answersonapostcard)DON'TPANIC!Secondpieceofadvice:ditheryenotonsuchpaltrymat-tersassmellybellybuttons,worrymuchmoreaboutthisseason'smostfrequentdis-ease:
"The
technicolour
hairvirus"
(T.H.V.).Sufferersofthis'terribleafflictionshouldbekeptwellawayfromandsoJeeredatfromasafedistance.The
T.H.v.
showsitselfbychangingthehaircolourofitshost.Particularlyvirulentduringthesummermonths,itgenerally
...worrymuchmoreaboutthisseason'smostfrequentdisease:
"The
technicolourhairvirus"(T.H.V~)..
onlymakesthehairgoblond,butinextremecases,redandevengingerhairhasbeenfound.Youhavebeenwarned!Finally,...Spaghettiisforlife,justforTablefuneralwakes.YouknowwhatI'mtakingaboutalleged"DrChiRihLal.Youdon'tlovethatsticklikeIdo.Giveherback,giveherbaaack!!!IshallreturnagainwhenIamneeded.
AFlashFromThePast-anexcerptfrom"TheRivingtonian"-SummerTerm,1960TheSixth-FormersDilemma
(withapologiestoShakespeare)
T
ostayornot
to
stay-thatisthequestion!Whether'tisnoblerinthemindtosufferTherulesandordersofoutrageousschool-lifeOrtotakearmsagainsttheStaffwhomake'emAnd,byopposing,endthem?-Tostay,torot-Nomore;andbysuchrottosayweendTheboredomandthethousandruderemarksThatweareproneto,''tisaconsummationDevoutlytobewish
'd.
Torot,tostay.Tostay,perchancetowork,whatStaffmaycomeWhenwehaveshuffledoffthispresent'mob'Mustgiveuspause.There'stherespectThatmakescalamity
0/
so
long
life,
Forwhowouldbeartheshameandtoila/standards,Themarker'sjibes,thewitheringsarcasm,Thepangsa/knownmistakes,results'delays.ThelazinessofofficeandthejeersThatpatientprefectsfromtheunworthytakeWhenonewitheasemighthersalvationgainThroughanopenWindow.U.VIEnglishGroup.
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