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|Views: 11,749 |Likes:
Published by Rebecca G
A bunch of quotes I like
A bunch of quotes I like

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Published by: Rebecca G on May 31, 2007
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Abstinence is a good thing when practiced in moderation.Actually officer, if you factor in the earth's rotation, we were all speeding.Adolescence: a stage between infancy and adultery.A friend is someone who knows all about you but likes you anyway.A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.A man can't deny what he is. He can convince everybody else he is someone else, butnever himself.And on the 8th day, God sobered up.A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times thememory.A self-addressed envelope would be addressed 'envelope'.As I said before, I never repeat myself.A toast to bread, for without bread, there could be no toast.Bananas are my favourite vegetable because they have no bones.Be alert - the world needs more lerts.Between grand theft and a legal fee, there only stands a law degree.Blind people don't bungee jump. It scares the dog too much.Canada is protected by the finest military force in the world: the U.S. Army.Canada is the first ally the Americans call when they want to invade another country, sowe can show them where it is on a map.Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not there?Carpe DM (seize the dungeon master)
Change is good, but dollars are better.Changing lawyers is like changing decks on the Titanic.Chaos, panic, pandemonium - my work here is done.Christmas is weird; it's the only time of year when we love to sit in front of a dead treeand eat candy out of our socks.Curiosity killed the cat... I wanted to know how far I could throw itDear mom,Have you ever noticed the way I've been shaking lately? The three knives missing fromthe kitchen? The pins and needles gone from your drawer? How I never come downstairsanymore? The look in my eyes? The sound of my voice? It's completely different. Haveyou noticed the long sleeves & sweatshirts everyday? The arm warmers? The band-aids?The blood? Huh? Have you? No? Well I didn't think so...DM: You're walking past a patio...Paladin: I address the patio.DM: It is a patio. It says nothing.Paladin: I speak to the patio in every language I know.DM: The patio does not respond.Paladin: I threaten the patio.DM: The patio doesn't do anything. It's a patio!Paladin: I cast dispel magic on it.DM: The patio is still there.Paladin: I touch the patio.DM: It feels like a patio.Paladin: I draw my sword and attack the patio.DM: Oh, fine, very well, the patio engulfs you and crushes you to a bloody pulp. Makeyour save at negative 20.Paladin: See, I KNEW it wasn't a patio. *Starts rolling a new character*Do not wake Dragon for you are crunchy and go well with Brie!Don't open the darkroom door. It lets all the dark out.Don't pay taxes; it just encourages them.Don't put off till tomorrow what you can get someone else to do today.Don't quote me; think for yourself!
Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.Don't use commas, which, aren't necessary.Don't use force; use a bigger hammer.Do you know that if all the smokers were laid end to end around the world, three quartersof them would drown?Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.Earth is full. Go home.!edis gnorw eht morf siht ta gnikool era uoYEnd poverty - Eat the poor.Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.Everything is unimportant in some way.Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts.Famous last words: Don't unplug it; it will just take a moment to fix.Famous last words: Don't worry it's not loaded.Famous last words: It's perfectly safe. Let me show you.Famous last words: What happens if you touch these two wires tog--First Law of Window Cleaning: It's on the other side.Give me ambiguity or give me something else!God encourages sin so that grace may abound.Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.Gravity doesn't exist: The earth sucks.

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