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Final Proposal Peer Review 1

Final Proposal Peer Review 1

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Published by Caroline Jolley

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Published by: Caroline Jolley on Apr 25, 2012
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Jenna PriceMrs. CarusoENGL 11025 April 2012Final Proposal
The Mysterious Sinking 
is derived from the actual events of the Titanic. The story isabout a middle-aged woman, Rebecca, who was on board the titanic with her husband and threekids.
 
Everyone was told the titanic “accidently” collided with the iceberg, but Rebecca is theonly one who knows that is not true. The collision with the iceberg was no accident andRebecca’s goal is to get the truth out into the world. She is the main character of this suspensefulnovel.The purpose behind this novel is providing entertainment as well as mystery for all of itsreaders. The mysterious sinking will be fiction
 
and nonfiction at the same time. It will pursue afiction story but give accurate details on the actual sinking of the Titanic. This will make itsomewhat nonfiction. Readers will understand in depth what exactly happened on the night of the sinking of this “unsinkable” ship, the real story.The movie “The
 
Titanic” really inspired me to write this novel. I see the movie as harshyet romantic and peaceful. It sets a tender mood that onlookers really seem to enjoy. When thenovel first came to mind, the actual events were undecided. It wasn’t until later on that thedecision was made to add a mysterious edge to the novel. When people think of the titanic, theythink of a romance that involves a famous ship that hit an iceberg. The audience seems to look  past the fact of children and loving families were on board, as well. This novel will introduce thehardships that one specific lower class family deals with from the time they were on board the
 
Caroline Jolley
4/10/12 10:12 AMCaroline Jolley
4/10/12 10:24 AMCaroline Jolley
4/10/12 10:27 AMCaroline Jolley
4/10/12 10:40 AM
Comment:
ReviewedbyCarolineJolleyJennawantstojustknowwhatelsetowriteabout.
Comment:
Thissentencewouldactuallybeagoodstarterbecauseitgrabsthereadersattention.Somaybeyoucouldswapafewsentencesaroundandbeginwiththissentenceorasimilarsentencetoit.
Comment:
Youcouldmakethisparagraphlongerbygivinganexampleofafictionandnotfictionpiecethatwilltakeplaceinyourstory.Thiswillalsogiveyouraudiencebetterunderstanding.
Comment:
YoucouldgiveexamplesfromtheoriginalTitanictoshowthecontrastformofitinyourstory.

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