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5 8 07 Promo Unleashed

5 8 07 Promo Unleashed

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Published by Brian Jones

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Published by: Brian Jones on May 31, 2007
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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<b>Title:</b> We have innovated the art of breaking kayfabe.<i>The Wonder Twins and their uber-manager, Shannon Moore, are sitting in front of oneof those fancy backstage monitors you always see wrestlers watching while they’re backstage. I need to work on my writing skills. They’re just chillin’, though. Miko’sdowning some Jones Soda (it’s a pun), Tommy’s downing some Jack Daniels, andShannon’s downing some glycerine.</i><b>Shannon:</b> Don’t let the days go by…<b>Miko:</b> Okay, right, at this point, you have to widen your mouth by an extra sixinches.<b>Shannon (doing so):</b> …Glycerine.<b>Tommy:</b> So a cage match... Have we ever done a cage match before?<b>Miko:</b> No, but this is a great opportunity! We could win the tag titles just likelast time at Anarchy!<b>Tommy:</b> That last part is so intriguing that I’ll end all discussion of the first part.We won last time at Anarchy?<b>Miko:</b> Well, last time for US, anyway. Not like, last Anarchy. That’d just be afalse idea.<b>Tommy:</b> Truer words, Miko. Truer words.<b>Miko:</b> Eh?<b>Tommy:</b> Nary hath they been spake.<b>Miko:</b> That’s barely legible. You know what we should do?<b>Tommy:</b> What’s that?<b>Miko:</b> We should do the exact same thing as last time to ensure that we win.We'll go the Grand Canyon, we'll fight Godzilla.. Just like the good old days.<b>Tommy:</b> But this isn't the actual title match. It's just for the contender spot.<b>Miko:</b> Oh. Well then... Let's do it TWICE!!! Quick, you have all of our stuff archived, right?<b>Tommy:</b> Sure do. It's been transcribed and sent into my personal inbox for safe-keeping.
<b>Miko:</b> Ah, the wonders of physical mail.<b>Tommy:</b> Actually, it’s my gmail account. Hey, does GameFAQs still censor thatword?<b>Miko:</b> Probably, but I think it’s only in the topic titles.<b>Tommy:</b> Are you sure?<b>Miko:</b> No, but I guess we’ll find out when we post this thing.<b>Tommy:</b> I know we usually break fourth wall, but now it’s like we’re breakingfifth wall. Wrestling is rigged, AND we’re only fictional characters?! What gives??<b>Miko:</b> There was a Will Ferrell movie about this that didn’t do too well, becauseapparently it wasn’t as funny as it looked.<b>Tommy:</b> Stranger Than Fiction, yeah. I remember.<b>Miko:</b> Did you see it?<b>Tommy:</b> What have I told you? Just like my sexual preference, you can’t justhand out character-altering traits like this without Luca’s consent!<b>Miko:</b> …It’s just seeing a movie.<b>Tommy:</b> Arggggghh!!!<b>Miko:</b> …O…kay…<b>Shannon:</b> We should probably get to work on this promo thing of yours.<b>Tommy:</b> True – Hey wait, when did you start speaking normal English?<b>Shannon:</b> When Luca made me kick someone and say “What’s got two thumbsand is the awesomest wrestler ever? Shannon Moore!”<b>Miko:</b> Well, gee… It sure sounds like Luca handed out a character-altering traitwithout mine nor the real Shannon Moore’s consent. Dare I say…POTKETTLEBLACK?!?<b>Tommy:</b> To be fair, Luca never said that you can’t change these things about me.You said it.
<b>Miko:</b> Well yeah, but it’s the courteous thing to do! I can’t believe you would bewilling to change my character!<b>Tommy:</b> I didn’t! Luca did!<b>Miko:</b> What!? Luca changed my character???<b>Tommy:</b> No! He changed Shannon Moore’s character!!!<i>Meanwhile, cut to the real Shannon Moore at his computer…</i><b>Shannon:</b> I’m so suing those ******s.<i>Aaaaaaaand cut back!</i><b>Miko:</b> Well, let’s get to it, shall we? Print out the script!<b>Tommy:</b> Yessir!<i>Tommy gets on his laptop, which is hooked up to theMegaCopyPrintFaxlolwhofaxesthingsthesedays 6000!</i><b>Tommy:</b> And…. PRINT!<i>……</i><b>Tommy:</b> …..PRINT!!<i>……….</i><b>Miko:</b> What the hell does an ellipses from the narrator mean?<b>Tommy:</b> It means that nothing’s happening. Look, the printer won’t work.<b>Miko:</b> Oh, wow. That’s a real slice of cheese manure.<b>Shannon:</b> Mmm… cheese manure….<b>Tommy:</b> Sorry, guys. It looks like this whole replicating an old promo thing justisn’t going to work.<b>Miko:</b> You mean….<b>Shannon:</b> …We have to be….<b>Patch from 101 Dalmations:</b> …ORIGINAL?!?!?!?

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