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how to type while watching james bond - the writer

how to type while watching james bond - the writer

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Published by nasrin khosrowshahi
the writer

nasrin khosrowshahi

2012

January 31, February 1st ,Vancouver 2012. It is wet outside. The writer scratches her hair, her head. The phrase “it is wet outside” is not very accurate, “it is drizzling” would be better. She looks down at her umbrella on the moss-green floor, she has to tilt her chair to see it. The writer is back in the library of the community college on 49th, she is once more typing, typing. She is once more starting the great American novel, which is, technically spo
the writer

nasrin khosrowshahi

2012

January 31, February 1st ,Vancouver 2012. It is wet outside. The writer scratches her hair, her head. The phrase “it is wet outside” is not very accurate, “it is drizzling” would be better. She looks down at her umbrella on the moss-green floor, she has to tilt her chair to see it. The writer is back in the library of the community college on 49th, she is once more typing, typing. She is once more starting the great American novel, which is, technically spo

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Published by: nasrin khosrowshahi on May 07, 2012
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04/29/2013

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the writer nasrin khosrowshahi 2012
January 31, February 1
st
,Vancouver 2012.It is wet outside. The writer scratches her hair, her head. The phrase “it is wet outside” is not veryaccurate, “it is drizzling” would be better. She looks down at her umbrella on the moss-green floor,she has to tilt her chair to see it. The writer is back in the library of the community college on 49
th
,she is once more typing, typing. She is once more starting the great American novel, which is,technically spoken, the wrong term, she is not American, this is not a novel. Voices in the back,today is January 31
st
. The year? 2012. She still makes mistakes, writes 2011 instead of 2012. Oldage, old age. She is 56 going on 57, it does not really make any difference, she could be 10, shecould be 90. She was born old, that is what happens with the all-American female nerd. The termall-American, once more wrong, once more wrong. Author ponders, she has it all wrong. She isutterly confused and it shows in her writing. That is why she is unpublished, despite a super- prolific output, the words are all incoherent, the sentences fragmented. She is not able to hang onto a thought, that is what happens when you watch too much TV. Short attentionspan, shortattention span, bold and beautiful did you in, did you in. ah, the memories of a couch potato, howis that for a booktitle? She could title this text like that, she could start querying agents, she alwaysdoes that, always, always, always. Her queries sail thru cyberspace, fifty already in January, that ishow it is, that is how it is.The writer- the next day. She is sitting in UBC, the University of British Columbia, in the mostawkward chair there is. How can you type, if you are in an arm chair, where did they find thischair? Yes, it is a library, but, hey, you cannot just take all the readingish, comfy armchairs and putthem in front of computers, that a computerlab don’t make. Author/writer here pauses, her syntaxis slightly off, maybe it could soldier on as stylistic idiosyncrasy, who knows, who knows? Shetypes fast and furious, she has sent out 50 queries in 30 days, all through January of 2012. it is
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the writer nasrin khosrowshahi 2012
now, February first, she still has no publisher, no agent. She lives her life agentless, which is ok,there are more pressing, more awful things. A free-lancing writer, that is what she is. Now.Unpublished, too. But, hey, she will be published, eventually. If you build it they will come, canthe movie be wrong? Let us just keep on building, better than being shoved into an insane asylum.If you don’t write you go insane, that is how hard your passion for writing burns. Your wish your want for the process of creating something, anything. Obviously, you could cook or clean, but,apparently, women of a certain age run away from their domestic duties. So her prof posited lastyear, the writer is a writer, not a housewife anymore, not a homemaker, not, not. Not that a writer isnot some kind of glorified housewife, not that, not that. Author here ponders, her insights aresmashing, they always are, always are. She should go back to poetry, to animation, to painting, tosomething, something.There has to be more than one person in this book. There have to be players, characters. The manto her right, or is it her left, is pretty good, he has curly hair and looks at his monitor, while havinghis head lean into his left hand. He is pensive, maybe, though he might be a regular facebook stalker. Ah, mark zuckerberg, look what you’ve started, and your company is going public thesedays. Author here ponders, if she should somehow tie this in with palo alto, but she is distracted bythe woman in the far who is turning her pencil; around. By the high ceilings here. Ah, the writer,not able to hold on to any congruent thought, and she is not able to decipher what CONGRUENTmeans. She just types and types and types and types away. She has 703 words, so is that enough for a start, a start of a 100 000 word novel, one that is lacking a plot , a character, one that is so veryvery plotless. Storyarc, schmoryarc. The writer ponders, she should join a meetup group for writers, that should be fun fun. Critiques that smash you, make you wither away under the barrageof influxing negativity, she has enough e-rejections already. At least 300 of them, 300, 300. and our 
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the writer nasrin khosrowshahi 2012
writer here, types, types, types, types some more. And stop, and spellcheck, spellcheck.
(802words).
She leans back in the arm chair, her first bout of spellchecking is over. What now, what next. Whatnext? The writer ponders if she should put commas where they belong, question marks where they belong, should she, should she, or should she forego orthographical conventions in order to makethe text more lively. What should she do, should she close her eyes and fashion a character, a maleone, to opposite her female protagonist aka THE WRITER. Should she name the characters, shouldshe make a little maquette with CHARACTER A, CHARACTER B, CHARACTER C. and whatwould the plot be? The subject matter? The writer scratches her head, the subject matter should be,what else, writing. Yay for writing. She should fashion a story about different hapless writers whotry to publish their books but do not find a publisher. The after November nano crowd. Nano standsfor National Novel Writing Month, the writer ponders how she should infuse her explanationseloquently, is there even a way to do this, how can you do that? Should you even explain stuff, inthe time of google, readers can easily look up stuff, they can they should. Writing these days, ah, publishing these days. What with cyberspace, there are a lot of polemics to analyze, and author isnot quite sure, if she used the word POLEMICS in the right way, the right way. She is hunchedover, typing typing, her next all-Canadian novel is taking form, taking form. All-American, all-Canadian, all- Italian. All-earthy. She scratches her head, she could make this story all aboutidentity crises, not that she cares one way or another. That is not her target-audience, people thatare hung up on racism, then again, she could go the seinfeldian way and insult all ethnic groups, nodiscrimination, none and none and none. She ponders, ponders, ponders. The room here is nice, sheis out of words, has no plot no plot no plot. Somehow she skeetered off-course, has to rewrite this,rewrite this. She could, should rename this text, re-title it. THE WRITER or SEINFELD MADE
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