Angry. Instead, you
ve got people who care about you, donatingmoney, facilitating a professional to take care of that, meeting other people to work through stuff
Did you go through each of those phases you mentioned? Was it ever difficult dealing with anger?
I never got super angry, but on the sadness level, I was at a place in sadness where . . . I don’t even know
if sadness is the word. It was just a feeling of animal pain
the most guttural level of anguish where you
can’t even believe that loss has occurred and you’re processing it on a really visceral level. It’s just pure
raw anguish. That went on for a long time . . . I was pretty destroyed inside.
How did you go from such a dark place to wanting to give back to others? You created a reallyimpressive scholarship fund over the last ten years.
Part of it is about responding to it in a way that’s healing yet sends the right message. In our family it
was hugely disruptive. There were five of us and you lose one . . . you lose one in that way, someone
getting murdered. There’s no way to overemphasize the degree of destructiveness. It’s just so shockingbut then you take that energy and do something with it. I think that’s how t
he scholarship was started, ithad to do with the idea of turning something horrendous into something positive and something thatgives back to other people.
After coming to that realization, what do you feel is the role for the scholarship fund and forcommunity service?
It’s important to mention that part of the idea behind the scholarship is that Peter himself got ascholarship to William Penn Charter. If it weren’t for that our family wouldn’t have been able to afford
it. It enables someone with good ways about them to further their cause.There are rules around the scholarship
you have to be an athlete, a scholar, as well as some of the
other values that Peter reflected in his life. The people who have received the scholarships, I’ve heard
about them, met many of them, and heard what they have to say. When you read about what they
believe in and hear what they’re saying it’s, ‘I got this because this person died, here’s what he believedin, here’s what he did and I have the privilege of carrying that for
–here’s what I’m doing with it’. Sothat is planting the seed. It just spreads out or creates a ripple effect and you can’t ask for anythingmore than that. I mean, you can’t bewitch everybody. You have to do something practical and real. Let a
person with skills get a gift, help them believe in their ability and then they can transfer the core value of that gift out into the world to create a larger ripple effect.
Yeah, the ripple effect seems like a key idea in what your family is doing. What’s your
If you see me do something selflessly it makes you ask yourself what it means to you. It flies in the faceof any kind of politics, ideology or violence. That was how it all came together, that was our originalidea. As a matter of fact, nearly all of the people who were directly involved did something like that.
That’s how you respond when you really have a stake in it.