Wh Ds Attachment Parenting Work? Attachment parenting s popular approach t early childhood parenting. Where dd t m frm? Wh s t called attachment parenting?

? Wht s th attachment parenting approach? w ds t differ frm thr approaches? The word "attachment" m nt popularity wth guy named Konrad Lorenz. studied ducks. noticed tht duckling wuld follow th frst thing t sw ftr coming ut f ts shell. rmll, tht wuld b th mother duck. ut f t ws wind u doll, r Konrad, t wuld follow tht. called ths tendency fr th young f ts species t stay close t ts mother "attachment." Such bond md evolutionary sense. h duck tht stayed close t ts momma stood better chance f making t n th mn ld world. Humans r fr mr complex thn ducks, but we're nt tht dffrnt. h frst mrtnt person n understanding th wrld f human attachment ws guy named John Bowlby. observed tht humans attach n rtulr ways t thr earliest caregivers, too. Bowlby noticed tht th relationship tht children hv wth thr primary caregivers, sll t

th earliest stages f life, hd powerful influence n hw tht child formed relationships thrughut life. Now, neuroscience s proving Bowlby nd hs fellow researcher's observations t b true. h work f Allan Schore hs brought tgthr n enormous amount f evidence t shw tht th interactions btwn n infant nd thr primary caregiver s th mst powerful influence n child's ability t thnk well, bm emotionally mature, nd form healthy relationships. These rsults r understandably mrtnt t vr parent wh wnts t d ll th n t ensure tht thr child grows u t b happy, successful, nd fulfilled. Now tht w understand ths things, parents sk, wht ds ths mn but hw parent m child? The frst nd mst mrtnt word tht parents f infants nd t understand s attunement. h role f th infant's mother (r primary caregiver -- 'll call ths person mom, r mother, fr convenience hr n ut) s t attune hrslf t th infant's emotions. h infant will naturally attune tslf t th emotions f th caregiver. This dance f relatedness literally grows neurons n th child's brain. Whn th baby experiences

ths connection thr brain floods wth happymaking chemicals, nd th baby wnts t d mr f ths. uh r th seeds f attachment. On th thr hand, whn th child senses lack f ths emotional connection, neurons n th brain wither, die, nd d nt develop. h baby's brain fills wth pain-making chemicals, nd th building blocks f healthy relationship d nt form. The mom's main job, thn, s t b vlbl t th infant fr connection, s tht th child n develop healthy attachment t th parent. hs sets th template fr th child trusting n reliable wrld nd fr feeling healthy sense f self-worth. Now t ls mks sense tht evolution wuld wnt th mom t attach t th infant, ls. f mom stays nr baby, th species hs th best chance f surviving n ths mn ld wrld. nt nl ds th infant's brain flood wth happymaking chemicals whn thr s emotional availability, attunement, nd connection btwn baby nd parent, but mom's brain gts big dose f happy drugs whn sh s connected t hr baby, t. t s equally s true tht mom feels sm bad withdrawal symptoms whn sh s separated frm hr child.

So attachment parenting puts premium n th early relationship btwn th primary caregiver nd th child. Attachment theorists tll us tht infants nd t hv thr nds met fr healthy development. Frustrating ths nds will nt foster independence, but rthr th opposite. h ks t increasingly independent functioning bgn wth baby gttng thr emotional nd physical nds met. Now th mst mrtnt issues fr parents f small children r eating nd sleeping. Well, tht mks sense, that's mst f wht baby does! What ds th attachment parenting approach tll us but eating nd sleeping, nd hw ths tw fit together? Babies hv thr wn, natural cycles f sleeping nd wakefulness, hunger, nd satiety. rng t gt baby nt schedule t conform t ur convenience n ur modern wrld gs gnst thr normal patterns. Babies communicate thr nds n simple ways: th cry. hr crying serves purpose. t s w t gt thr caregivers t m t thm. W parents dn't lk th sound f crying, s w wnt t t st. w change th diaper, feed thm, r hold them.

When baby cries, t feels distress. h body fills wth toxic chemicals. Whn th child s soothed, th distress gs w. h body fills wth happy, growth-inducing chemicals. , naturally, vrthng works ut. child nds t b fed r soothed. t feels distress. t cries. It's caregiver hears th alarm. h caregiver feels distress. h caregiver responds t th nd. h baby feels better. h mother feels better. h baby nd mother attach. If parent soothes crying infant, ths will nt teach th child t cry mr. t will tull build th circuits n th brain s tht th child will learn t regulate ts wn emotions eventually. f th parent ds nt soothe th child, th child m nvr internalize ths experience. h child m nt learn hw t d fr tslf wht th parent ds fr t n th beginning. This mns tht n th earliest stages f life, f u follow th logic f attachment parenting, mother will nt gt muh sleep. Caring fr n infant n ths w will disturb th parent's lives. ut n th view f ths f us wh blv n attachment parenting, whh s n mr thn fllwng th natural patterns f parenting tht hv existed sn procreation began, that's wht bng parent s about.

Attachment parenting requires sacrifice. ut t wn't lst forever, nd u will b gvng ur child wht th nd s th n grow nt strong, independent, loving, smart, unique, happy individuals. sn't tht worth losing lttl sleep vr?

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