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Apocrypha Discordia

Apocrypha Discordia

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Published by Don't call me names

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Published by: Don't call me names on Dec 24, 2008
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09/14/2012

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ILLUMINATIONS BY POPE PHIL WLODARCZYK III
Content and LayoutThe Rev DrJon Swabey& a whole bunch of other Erisians,Discordians and Weirdosfar too many to list here on this tiny page (sorry).Where identified, they’re all credited in the text.
All effort has been made to verify the (K) status of individual items, howeverin the event of non - (K) items being accidentally included, please notify, andsaid items will be removed in subsequent editions.
( K ) 2001 ALL RITES REVERSEDREPRINT WHAT YOU LIKESecond Edition 2002
3 5 7 9 8 6 4 2
To the Prettiest One
and to
Blade,
without whom.and in honour:
Mal2 and Omar; Greg and Kerry;
A couple of guys,A couple of saints.Dance with the Goddess (Jiggy-Jiggy)
 
ApocryphaDiscordia
Assembled by His Wholiness the Rev DrJonon behalf ofThe Committee for Public Safety
Give me your tired, your poor,Your huddled masses yearning to be freeThe wretched refuse of your teeming shoreThis country always needs more Soylent Green
with ILLUMINATIONS by
Pope Phil Wlodarczyk III
Approved for abuse in schools
HAIL ERIS!
καλλιχτι
ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!
 
Eristroduction
You should have put that in there...”I found out I was dying, and used my last daysto create a Discordian Manual...” 
Prince MuChao
,Private correspodance, January 2002Of course, I was wrong, Little Deluded Dupe that I am. Seven days before I wasscheduled for Surgery, that quiet voice which I imagine also talks to Zen monks, Sufimullahs and other Disreputable Persons at the End, rapped sharply on my skull andtold me to get my shit in order within the week. Little did I know it was Eris usinga funny voice, the bitch. Anyhow, I hurridly wrapped up a couple of projects, andthis was one of them.I got curious. Discarding the “non-canonical” material ( well, laying it aside ), Istarted to reference my little collection to the original. I’d stumbled, by the way,on I-Net’s 4th&5th combined edition, with the wonderful foreword by Lord Omar.Imagine my shock when I realised that some of these fragments I had to hand were notto be found in the
Principia.
As well, we’ve the addition of a brand spanking new Back Cover to this edition. Nowthe arse won’t fall out when you pick the book up. I imagine this will be particu-larly helpful for those reading this on PDAs, who won’t have to worry about losingthe batteries anymore.Anyway, apparently earlier editions of the
Principia
contained the Myth of Starbuck.Perhaps this is the solution to the mysterious fragments I had. Perhaps they didn’tmake the edit. Who knows. I have never heard of a pre-4th&5th Edition extant. I wouldof course be very interested in talking to anyone who might have information aboutany of these early editions. We can only hope that one will surface, eventually.Who was he? What was he like? How did he live? We can only hope someone will writeof his life, and maybe also rediscover the lost
I Chao,
also mentioned by Lord Omar.But at some stage, at last intrigued by these “holy quotes”, I copied out by hand allof the Discordian Scriptual References in
Illuminatus
, including the Hagbard Celinetracts. Hooked, I started working through other RAW ( Robert Anton Wilson ) works,and with the inevitability of a cream pie in flight, as I ventured into more exoticbookstores and other Purveyors of Disrepute in search of said, the
Principia
arcedits way towards my face. By the time it struck, I had a small collection of fragmentsassembled, together with such esoterica as I’d acquired along the way ( such asVonnegut’s Bokonon, and other perverts ).Therewill be some form of sequel. There’s much Erisiana still out there thatdeserves a permanent home, as much as there’s plenty that, while Chaotic, is alsoCrap.In the middle eighties I gained access to USENET and that was that. I startedcollecting Erisiana as I stumbled upon it. Ten years later, some acquaintancespointed out that Lord Omar was currently to be found making contributions to WhiteWolf’s Vampirethingy game. More power to him, I say. He was not long to live, and itwas good to see the occasional Discordian reference, all of which were promptlycollected for the now-bulging file. It was the Internet, though, which led to the BigExplosion in Discordianism.The Surgery, a minor exploratory, went off without a hitch ( although the GeneralAnaesthesia was in the nature of a lovely rest from the ceaselessness of myUnmanagably Overactive Brain ).

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