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Lorem Ipsum 2011

Lorem Ipsum 2011

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Published by Harman Singh

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Published by: Harman Singh on May 23, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Sufjan Stevens strums his melancholy guitar and says words are futile devices. Perhapshe is right. Perhaps in the self constructed asylum for his ruminations and self-loathing hehas hit upon something that could make literature seem much like an apple flavoured ba-nana; thoroughly pointless, and very unnecessary. The Meat Puppets, on the other hand,part their frizzy hair, exhale marijuana smoke, and calmly pose the question 'who needsactions when you got words?'.From high above, where the airplanes fly, these people are just little dots, living and con-sorting with other little dots, you and me, and everyone around us. And we all have ourtheories. We all have our moments.We all have probably said things that could very well incite a moment's reflection or atleast a pat on the back, if given a chance. In some moment of drunken sincerity or other-wise, we might as well have strung together words that could have gone down in history,quoted after our time by teenage junkies and dewy-eyed athletes selling shoes alike.So we bunch of rag-tag wannabe raconteurs have rolled up our sleeves, written downsomething, become utterly conscious of a possible unsatisfactory effort, reasoned that itdoesn't really matter, and presented it to you, like sacrificial animals offered to hungry-err,I think that's pushing it.Lorem Ipsum. Dummy text. A placeholder in the everyday world. A substitute for when
you don‟t ‡eally have anything to say, o‡ pe‡haps too much. Anyhow, we‟‡e filling in fo‡
now.So here goes nothing.-Arka BhattacharyyaCoordinator,The Literary & Debating Club
eng na
What is it like to be an Indian? This simple question has foxed intellectuals amongintellectuals, those old, bearded (and hence wise) tea-drinking men (and just a couple ofwomen perhaps) since time immemorial. Ever since the West craned their necks acrossthe Atlantic to gaze upon a land of cows and half-starved men (with an equimolar mixtureof curiosity and disgust), they have tried their best to classify us as an offshoot of someeastern race but have failed miserably. However, with such an overwhelming diversity,
enough to make Linnaeus sweat to the skin, it‟s little wonde‡ then that anth‡opologists
have baptized us not as Afro-Sino-Arabic brown people, but Indian.The modern Indian is a curious mix of the east and west
much like the exotic In-dian masala right out of colourful cooking manuals. He has a large colonial influence, notonly British but Mongol and Turk, right up to the Aryans. Having internalized globalizationright down to the double helix, the average Indian has braved the wave of westernizationmuch like a Hawaiian skateboarder
with a languid ease that welcomes Plasma TV withno more enthusiasm than some new and improved fertilizer. It is not surprising then thatthe Indian youth is as much comfortable with Eminem and Giorgio Armani as with believingsuperstitions of eclipses and black cats. The average Indian is also the most critical of hisspecies, delivering scathing comments at the drop of a hat. This is epitomized by the nowfamous Indian media, which effectively melts facts into controversy like a scrupulousgoldsmith and now possesses more viewers than any melodramatic Indian TV serial.Indian pride is almost as well known as the Holy Grail. We are fiercely protective ofour kind, in spite of all the differences (which we have in no small number) among our-
selves. Whethe‡ it‟s the Punjabi youth beaten up by Bohemian Aust‡alians o‡ Guj‡ati t‡ad-
ers detained in China, the silent call for crusades is sounded almost immediately and Indi-ans all over the globe get to work texting their views online.The greatest hallmark of an Indian is his ability to endure, to endure the corrupt offi-cials pocketing public money like fallen acorns, the murders and robberies occurringround every street and the prospect of getting cheated at every alternate shop in themarket. These social evils are only as important as some distant relative getting divorcedor the weather being too wet
issues that no doubt evoke momentary concern or sym-pathy but nothing more. This remarkable ability to brave changes has enabled the ubiqui-tous NRI to ...well, remain ubiquitous - from the suburbs of Leicestershire to markets ofOuagadougou (and every place else in between)! Little wonder then that Westerners aretraining their kids Nazi-style to outsmart their yellow-and-brown peers.
It‟s is clea‡ then that the Indian man is a peculia‡ c‡eatu‡e indeed, a genetic ma‡velsculpted with an ingenious capability to be mo‡e „human‟ than the ‡est. With this comfo‡t-
ing thought, one can quite peacefully enjoy a cup of Indian coffee, not black or white cof-fee, but the good old brown version!-Akshay Surendra

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