© Victoria Evangelina Belyavskaya
“So, what other hobbies?” said the man sitting in front of us at adinner party. “Having sex with my wife!” he winked at her.“Hey you did not even turn red!” said to her the man sitting next tome. “After forty years together, I got used to this,” she smiled, andkissed her husband on his wrinkled cheek.This moment was worth the long and otherwise boring party to me.Researchers found that a robust sex life is often the corner stone for predicting the longevity of a relationship. Intimacy, exclusivity andvulnerability of sex are next to impossible to share with a partner you don’t love. At the sametime, it is difficult to grow indifferent to a person with which you still share the emotional treatsof sex.Sex is the most physical and kinesthetic of all human experiences. The nature bubble-wrappedthe surviving act of multiplying in various pleasant ways of showing and sharing love and care,enjoying and loving every inch of your partner and every second of being together, and later playing the movie clips of the moments of passion and cuddling over and over again in one’smind.Apparently, there is more than the “having babies” instinct involved in making love. “Evenamong the non-human orders, sex appears to be regularly practiced for a whole range of non-reproductive reasons with a wide range of community-building benefits,” writes Jefferey Kluger in the article
The Power of Love
(www.time.com) “How else to explain the fact that homosexual behavior occurs in more than 450 species? How else to explain kissing among bonobos, nuzzlingamong zebras, literal necking among male giraffes? How else to explain the fact that somesexually active animals seem to avoid reproduction quite deliberately, mating at times that areunlikely to produce young or picking partners that are unable to do so? From 80% to 95% of aspecies of sea lion rarely or never reproduce, though they continue to couple.”It seems that sexuality is more a form of mutual exploring, sharing and communicating than areproductive system. “I think consciousness is the first part of sex, and exploring thatconsciousness with another person is one of its purposes,” quotes clinical psychologist JoanneMarrow.To communicate love and feelings in the sensual language of sex, well, one must be capable of intimacy. Its essentials include entering a relationship because one has a surplus of love for themselves and not because of seeking validation of his or hers worth and lovingness fromanother person. When one has so much love for themselves and the human kind in his or her facethat it overflows, then and only then can she or he have truly beautiful and integral relations of communicating love via sex with a person at the same stage of development.