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Fine Lines of Wellness by Lois Joudrie

Fine Lines of Wellness by Lois Joudrie

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Published by Lois Joudrie
The very beginning of finding my path to wellness started as a member of a 12 Step Group with Adult Children of Alcoholics. It was really hard work - and so worth it. The 12 Steps taught me how to become well, and also to realize that this is an ongoing life class - one day at a time. I learned that I was responsible for my own life. To enable me to recognize the challenges and pitfalls of every day living, I wrote this book, and through the writing discovered that there is a fine line between wellness and dysfunction. I was learning how to turn my weapons into tools for survival. It saved my life. I would now like to pass those tools on to you.
The very beginning of finding my path to wellness started as a member of a 12 Step Group with Adult Children of Alcoholics. It was really hard work - and so worth it. The 12 Steps taught me how to become well, and also to realize that this is an ongoing life class - one day at a time. I learned that I was responsible for my own life. To enable me to recognize the challenges and pitfalls of every day living, I wrote this book, and through the writing discovered that there is a fine line between wellness and dysfunction. I was learning how to turn my weapons into tools for survival. It saved my life. I would now like to pass those tools on to you.

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Published by: Lois Joudrie on May 28, 2012
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11/07/2012

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INDEX OF CHAPTERSWEAPONS or TOOLSCARE-TAKING or CARE-GIVINGSELF INDULGENCE or SELF NURTURINGVULNERABILITY or NEEDINESSACTION or REACTIONBUILDING WALLS or CREATING BOUNDARIESDISCIPLINE or OBSESSIONSELFISH or SELFHOODLONELINESS or ALONENESSSECRECY or PRIVACYIN THE STARS or IN ME?ANGER or RESENTMENTBEING ALL TOGETHER or BEING IN CONTROLCONTROLLING MY LIFE or LIVING MY LIFEAWARENESS or DENIALEXPECTATION or PREPARATION
 
 HABITS or ADDICTIONSIMPULSE or INTUITIONINTEREST or CURIOSITYRELATIONSHIP BUILDING or HOSTAGE TAKINGSENSUALITY or SEXUALITYBEING CHILDISH or LOVING THE CHILDTHE TWELVE STEPS
PROLOGUE
 
THIS IS THE VERY BEGINNING OF WELLNESSPlease, let me introduce myself. I grew up in a home filled withalcohol abuse and violence. I married young, at 18, to a manwho was an alcoholic and violent when he was drinking. Themarriage lasted 10 years. This is a familiar story for manythousands of us. I never drank or did drugs, but I sure could notget my life in order. Everything turned to dust, and I had no ideawhy. I was raising two girls, well, attempting to raise two girls,but frankly, not doing a very good job, and I had no idea why. Ifound myself asking why I had no idea. It was a viscous circle.You know, walking around in circles is a very dizzyingexperience!! I had lost my equilibrium, my self, my family, myconnection to the Universe. Life is kind of like that, I find, weget ourselves into these terrible pickles and if we are really reallylucky, we see the lifeline coming our way. And that's what
 
happened.My lifeline was a group of people called Adult Children of Alcoholics and for two years I worked their program.
At the beginning of this journey I heard the words “We never recover”. At the time they were the most devastating words I
had ever heard. All this hard work! All this pain! Someone in
our Twelve Step Group began to chuckle. “Of course we never 
rec
over, but we do get better”. For a long time I had no idea
what that meant. As I started to go through the pain work andreach healthier parts of myself, I began to realize that recoverywork is ongoing. Ongoing on a daily basis.I began devising a plan for myself that I could use one day at atime. What I discovered was that almost everything I used ormisused had a fine line between helping and hindering. Thatfine line could very easily be crossed, either way. It alldepended on which buttons were pushed.These fine lines began to add up to my recovery. I pass them onto you. I hope they are of service.
WEAPONS or TOOLS
When we grow up in a dysfunctional environment we learn howto use all sorts of tools for survival.
We learn the “fight or flight” tool. We learn how to be
peacemakers. We learn early that we can get attention by being
“bad”. We learn how to be daddy's little girl or mommy's little

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