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Kids, Keys, And Vampire Love Stories

Kids, Keys, And Vampire Love Stories

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Published by Rose
A true story that I wrote just for fun about a funny, frustrating experience, one to look back on and laugh someday.
A true story that I wrote just for fun about a funny, frustrating experience, one to look back on and laugh someday.

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Published by: Rose on Dec 28, 2008
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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10/08/2013

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Kids,Keys,and Vampire Love Stories
The other day my daughter who is notquite 12 told me about a movie she wantedto see real bad that night. I asked her whoshe had in mind to go with and she said shethought she would go with me. I said, "Me?You want to go to a movie with me?" Andshe said yes. Then she said, "well, I don't know if this is the kind of movie youwould like. It's about vampires, but it isn't scary or anything. It's more of a lovestory."And since it was something of rare treat for my daughter to be showing in-terest in spending time with me, I said yes. I think the other reason I said yes,though, had to do with figuring maybe seeing a movie would help me take mymind off my own problems -- you know, in the kind of way that a person be-comes inspired to consider things from a different perspective -- like, well Iguess my concerns are not so big after all. At least I'm not in love with a vam-pire.When we returned home from the movie, my daughter gave me the key to thehouse and apparently, after unlocking the door, I put it in the flower pot near thedoor, the designated place for it to go so it doesn't get lost. I guess getting an-other key made would have been the smart thing to do, but doing the smartthing isn't really my style, as you will come to see in the rest of this story.The next day, after my daughter shut the front door and came out to the car, Iasked her if she had the key to the house, but I was afraid I already knew theanswer. I looked through my coat pockets some number of times, but I realizedthe key was in the flower pot inside the house and I had also not unlocked thedoor from the garage into the house this morning.
 
I was discussing this predicament with my daughter and she said, "well howare we going to get in, then?" I said, "well, I guess we can't." "Ok," she said,"then where are we going to sleep?" "We'll have to figure something out." I said."Well then I think we should just go to church and worry about it later." she said.When we returned home from church, we gathered a nice bouquet of screwdrivers of various types and sizes and contemplated our plan of attack. Mydaughter said she thought we should just go out for lunch and worry about itlater, but I said we really should deal with the problem first. She suggested wecall some man to help us, like, for example our friend who is a locksmith. Thatidea, being the smart thing to do, I rejected, of course.We tried a few really dumb things like trying to unlock the door with variousrandom keys we found lying around the garage. Then we tried taking a fewscrews out of the door frame around the door from the garage to the house withour handy screw drivers, but apparently no piece of the door frame was going tocome out easily and allow us to get the door open.I decided we would have to try getting in through a window. As far as I couldrecall, though, all the windows were either guarded by attack shrubs (you know,the kind that cause a rash on anyone who comes within a foot or so of them) or had air conditioners in them. (This was, after all, only November.)I thought possibly we should try one of the back windows with the smaller air conditioners in them and that we could maybe remove the air conditioner fromthe outside. My daughter said she thought the usual way to remove air condi-tioners was for one person to be on the inside and one person to be on the out-side. I said I agreed that really was the best way, but unfortunately not an optiondue to us being locked out of the house.I asked her if she knew where a ladder was and she said that as far as shecould recall the ladders had all been stolen. So we brought out a folding chair in-stead and set it up in the snow under the bedroom window (having consideredthis to be the better choice over the kitchen window which would have meantthat a person crawling in would end up in a sink full of dirty dishes -- thus prov-ing that I don't always choose the very dumbest of all available options).Anyway, we selected an appropriate screw driver and went to work removingthe screws holding the air conditioner in place. My daughter asked if the "cops"were going to show up, ask what we were doing, not believe that this was our own house, and take us to jail. I said I was pretty sure that kind of thing onlyhappened on TV.
 
We did not manage to get the air conditioner out, one reason being that it wasactually still plugged in in the bedroom. But we were able to remove one of theplastic panels on the side by basically breaking it. My daughter managed tobarely squeeze in through that small space between the window frame and theair conditioner, which was still firmly in place. She then unlocked the front door and let me in.At that point, we decided to go ahead and finish removing the air conditioner,as it seemed best not to leave that open space since it was, after all, November.So I took out the remaining screws and pushed open the window a bit while atthe same time realizing that was a bad idea, one, because there should havebeen another person on the outside of the window, as previously mentionedand, two, because the air conditioner was still plugged in (also previously men-tioned).I yelled for my daughter to help me, but it was too late. She arrived just in timeto see the air conditioner falling out of the window, collapsing the folding chair,and just hanging there by its cord. I asked my daughter to go outside, pick upthe air conditioner, and hold it up a bit while I unplugged it. This, she did and shemanaged to hold it while I ran out the back door, and then we carried it into thegarage together.Then we went to McDonald's (to celebrate not getting electrocuted or any-thing), carefully making sure the key was in our possession, not in the flower pot. We got some cheeseburgers through the drive-through.On the way home, my daughter asked me if I really had liked the movie wehad gone to the night before. I said, yes, I was quite sure it was the best vam-pire love story I had ever seen. She said she was just not so sure I really did likeit because, one, she remembered me telling her sister I had liked a movie thatshe had picked out, but then I had admitted later that I did not, and, two, I was just sitting there looking bored during most of the vampire movie. I reassuredher that I really had liked it.I asked her if she had appreciated the fact that I had not embarrassed her bypaying for our cheeseburgers entirely in pennies. She said yes she did appreci-ate that, but that I had embarrassed her at the movie by laughing too loud. I saidI wondered how I could have been laughing too loud when she had just claimedI was sitting there looking bored, but then again, maybe I was alternatingbetween these two different types of embarrassing parent behaviors. My daugh-ter agreed this was indeed the case.

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I enjoyed your story thoroughly and had a good laugh. Thank you, Rose!
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One of my earliest scribd stories
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A story from the old days . . .
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I love this story! It made me laugh. Thank you, Rose.
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