OBEDIENT

TO EVIL

By Nicolae Ciobanu

© Nicolae Ciobanu
A translation of Mariana Ciobanu

e-mail: nickciobanu@yahoo.com

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IN THE WORLD OF DARKNESS

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 Since my tender childhood, I’ve been considered by all who knew me, as being
the strangest creature. I’ve been crazy in love with loneliness. I was so shy that I
couldn’t even dear to ascend my eyes while speaking to somebody. My look was
permanently intent to ground, that’s why I was nicknamed by my classmates – the
blind man. Because of my unusual behavior I have got to be ragged by all the boys
of my age, and not only, even the girls dared to clout me. I have never wham
myself, having enough reasons to do it. I’ve got to be totally thanked by the
situation I was in. Even today, I can’t explain myself why were all clutching me. As
I have never done anybody harm. I was the most tender boy one could ever meet. I
didn’t offend anyone, I didn’t create inconveniences to those around me, I was not
aggressive, contrariwise, my soul was full of tenderness, honesty, friendship, many
virtues which can’t be possessed by everyone.
Although I stayed totally insensible at the aggressiveness of those around me,
only at the age of fifteen, I realized that I have been so pushed of society, as
between my conceptions and those of ordinary world, appeared a pregnant
discrepancy. Such an unfairness for me! My child life was marked for ever by the
psychological – behavioral inferiority that led me. Exactly at that age, I felt a
profound detaching of the entire society. I was conscientious that a gram doesn’t
weight a ton, a tree doesn’t constitutes a forest, a page is not a book, but I was sure
that my little miss I was stepping in society with, means a total failing for ever, or
even more, even the close death. In some psychical, hard-balanced moments, I was
planning my suicide, but that who created me took care of me to get till today. In
that period, I didn’t have at least the most insignificant feeling for someone, feeling
a strong hate for all, including for my parents who loved me a lot. They were seeing
the way of failing I was stepping on, realized that I don’t have a good-determinate
future position, but poor parents, accepted me the way I was, cause I was their son.
My brothers weren’t recognizing me anymore, telling me often that I am cram-full
with evil spirits that don’t leave me in peace. I wasn’t even capable to have a
normal discussion with them, cause a very strong inside desire was calling me in a
quite place, where nobody could disturb my meditative situations every time I was
sinking in. I was thinking for many times at my hostile attitude toward those around
me, sometimes I was even taking the engagement to change something in my
behavior, but a power appeared from nowhere, was totally misting my desire of
becoming the one from the past, making me more aggressive, more malicious.

***

At school, the majority teachers, were discerning in details my unusual

behavior in comparison with the other classmates. At the parents’ meetings, the first
discussed problem was my attitude, as laudable in some cases, so indecent in
others. Some teachers said that I seem to be an extinct volcano sometimes, that can
explode at the smallest spark, others considered my behavior of a future genius,
another part assigned that I will be a prophet, cause I speak differently from a child
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of my age. There were also some of those who dared to assign that I am a child of
Evil, because most of my actions are infamous and sometimes sufficiently grave.
Everyone of them made known his step, so that today I try to think they were right
in some regards. I won’t ever forget the day when the immense force that lied
inside of me revealed. Then, I understood that I posses a huge potential, though I
had to look for more answers at some questions, which seemed to be strategic for
me, for my forward activity. For being more understandable I will try to describe
you particularly the “golden” moment, as I called it then.
It was Thursday, almost eleven o’clock. The bell announced the break and as
usually, all the classmates got out to play, discuss and criticize each other in the
school’s yard. I stayed impregnable as always, on the chair from the third desk, near
the window. In the front of the class, at a reading desk, set opposite the desks, our
teacher was standing, captivated by his laborious work. There were two enormous
mounds of books in front of him, which he turned over one by one, as he has lost
something very important there. The sun lights were threading with an unordinary
generosity, through the room’s windows, warming strongly the extremely calm
atmosphere, that seemed to presage something strange, unwilling also. To my great
surprise, the teacher didn’t even discern my presence in the classroom. Thinking he
was alone, the old, very sad master, began to murmur a melody that emanated the
pain he had ever lived. The racking ambiance that was thronging inside the
classroom, made me fasten the eyes at the horologe hung by the classroom’s frontal
wall. Acting unconsciously, I’ve started to watch with such a visual intensity, that
after a few moments, the horologe fell on the floor. The teacher’s painful song was
immediately interrupted by the sudden noise, that inspired him an enormous horror.
Fearsome, he flashed the sight in his left side, for seeing what happened, then he
watched to the hall. Our eyes were crossing in a minute. The mutual look didn’t last
more than ten seconds, after what the teacher fell unconsciously on the chair’s sprit.
The same moment the bell rang, announcing the next lesson’s start. The pupils, one
by another, entered the classroom, each of them stumbling by the small pieces of
horologe, asking amazed each other who could do such as that?!
Seeing the teacher lied on the chair, the girls began to cry so laud, that even the
dead man would wake up from the grave. In a few minutes, more teachers gathered
into the classroom, trying hopelessly to return teacher’s conscience, but out of
results, doctors’ help was necessary, cause “the quasi-defunct” fell in coma.
I have stayed as calm as always, the made huddle didn’t scare me at all. My
problem was totally another! Wasn’t me the one who provoked the hole disaster?
To posses such powers for detaching a wall horologe and made a man falling in
coma, only with the mind’s power and with the fluids?! It would be something
uncommon. Me, a simple child of fifteen and half years old!...
While the spirits were calming down, the uncontrolled desire of going home
and experiment the magnificent power appeared suddenly, was burning inside of
me. I wanted perforce to convince myself of my inside force’s verity.
To my great luck, nobody tried to involve me somehow in that incident, not
even to be suspected. Finally, the school’s directress decided the lesson to be
continued by another teacher. Even the alarm has been diminished, though many
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pupils from the classroom were baffled, asking themselves about the reference
between the teacher and horologe, no one finding an adequate answer. There was
one truth and only I knew about it. But I didn’t disclose it to anybody, because it
would have been cost me too much. I hushed till the end of the lessons and much
time after that, all being forgotten then, and the things were returning to normality
till a new incident.
Getting home, the first thing I wanted to do was to verify my immeasurable
power of making “wonders”.
– Nick! Let the dog in peace, come to eat! called mother.
– I’m busy, I have to do more important things.
– Don’t be naughty. You are splashing our fame too much. Shame on you!
– Mum! Let me alone! It disgusts me hearing your voice and preachments…
Only today I understand with how much cruelty I had been answering to my
mother, who loved me enormously. It wasn’t my fault, but the force that roosted
inside of me. Hereinafter, I will retell you where did that power come from and how
I discovered it’s origin.
– I won’t speak to you anymore, Nick. You are unbearable, said mother, totally
vexed.
– Let it be so, now leave me…
Being alone, I ran farther after our puppy, for trying my capacities and
abilities. Catching it, I started my job. I immobilized his head between my feet,
forcing him to look into my eyes. In few moments, the dog was sleeping unmoved
on the ground. I was the happiest man: I could also do something. I applied the
same procedure to other beings from our household. All these events put the bases
of my occult activity. I started to amplify at maximum my psychic-mental force. It
wasn’t enough to possess such a power, the most important was to valued it through
every possible method.
The days were passing unnoticeably and I was becoming stronger and stronger.
One day I realized I could do the impossible, if I would be imposed by the
surroundings. Accumulating these forces, I felt the amplification of a malefic force
which I was spreading every day through those around me. Gradually, my inside
scare, inspired by the way I was living in, was won by an extraordinary courage,
that saved me for many times. Namely then, I got to conclude that I am a realized
man, that I have the future possibility to make a lot of money, fortifying an
authority in the society.
Though I was coming from a numerous family, we never walked at people’s
gates for asking money or something else. We knew how to mobilize our forces,
especially the parents.
My father was a forester. I consider this was my advantage, because I had the
great luck of living five km away from the village, in the forest’s heart. In this
secular forest I could develop untrammeled my occult aptitudes. The forest hid me
from all. Only it knew the most intimate secrets of my life. It is the friend I always
trusted, it knew my pains and happiness, it is the one that won’t ever betray me.
Namely in the ground of this forest I buried the years of my childhood and I

6
borrowed it’s power for living as a mature man, who knows what he wants from
life.
Our cottage was surrounded from all the sides, by the forest’s brushwood, that
was uplifting on some massive cliffs, besprent with shelves, which water was
throne in many of its parts, by the rush beds’ greenery. That was the place I had
came for many times in, for admiring the elegant swim of the fen-ducks, learning
also the custom of capturing snakes and playing with them. Closely to our cottage,
on a higher hill, there was a very picturesque glade. That was the sacred place of
my childhood. From fifteen years till seventeen and half, I managed to dig in the
heart of that glade a cave. It was some meters high and about six-seven meters
wide. Initially, I began digging hoping I will find gold, fact that never happened,
but I didn’t dig it vainly, however, as it served me later as a rendering altar.
When I had to go to school, the situation was complicated, but interesting too.
We walked often by foot, but we had better days too, when we went by carriage, or
by bike, or by car. Our house was bound by village, through a pavement, which
winded among the knolls, till getting to school. That was the place where I started
my studies, as being the most careful and diligent recruit. Also, I graduated the
school there, as being the most impertinent and indolent pupil…
At the beginning, I didn’t understand where that immeasurable powers came
from, but I understood later that I’ve got it from Evil. Namely he, sent it to me,
cause he had a plan with me, which he almost realized. I realized anterior that I
have a conspicuous inclination to evil things. I was affiliated so much to Evil, that I
began doing the most miserable thing a man could do: to pray and dedicate to him.
Initially, that process was spending in my room, at night, but after that. I decided to
found a small altar at the end of the cave. That was the right place, where nobody
could ever find out that I prayed to Evil.
After I dug the closet from the end of the cave, I brought a little carpet, which I
had laid on the cold rock, for sitting on it during the tent procedure. As I have read
many books about occultism and evil practices, I’ve had already a certain idea how
should look an arranged sanctuary in honor of this beast. Some cm away from the
carpet, I installed a cross with the inverted sign. I’ve set two candelas too, in both of
it’s parts, cause was very dark in that end of cage. It took me three days to arrange
the altar. Immediately after that, I began to walk there at night, for dedication.
After a while, stopping my relation with Evil, I told my friends about my
unusual experience.
– Nick! All this time instead of enjoying the life as we do, you was involved in
some nonsense? said one of my friends, laughing in tears.
– These were not absurdities, Andrew, dear, I answered him abstractedly. This
was the tragedy I’ve been meant to pass through. Only you can not understand me.
– Yes, but to degrade so and pray to Evil… It’s a madness…
– The whole life is a madness, Andrew!
– No, my life isn’t a madness, he said very seriously. I am living nice moments
and I’m absolutely happy. I am not letting myself to be led by the concepts that can
destroy people’s life. I am independent, that’s why I am free…
– Andrew, don’t be angry, but what’s yours remains yours.
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 – No, Nick, my life will always be the way I want to be.
– I would be glad to be so, but you know the saying: “Life the same as wind,
when you are flying higher, you are ingested by ground.”
– Who said this?
– I don’t know! I answered him doubtfully.

***

I’ve decided to pray to Evil only at night, when all the members of my family
will already sleep, for not discerning my nocturnal absence. The first meeting with
my protector is the best stamped in my memory. I remember every detail happened
that evening.
My parents and brothers were sleeping more than an hour. Looking through
the room’s windows, the outside atmosphere was harrowing me. Haughty lights
were permanently furrowing the cloudy sky. A torrential rain had been announced
and could start from a minute to another. Initially, I didn’t want to go there
anymore, but an inside thought was pushing me insistently to the altar from the
cave. Without hesitating too much, I got down from bed, taking my shirt in a quick
move. I unlocked guardedly the door, not to be heard by anyone. The warm of that
summer night is still persisting under the clouds’ weight, which were throwing to
the ground, cold, big drops, enough rarely meantime. I was stepping slowly to the
cause place. My eyes were watching more the sky’s blackness, the clouds were
squeezing in, than the path that led to cave. After a few minutes the rain was
freshening. The thunders too. Due to the lights which were remorselessly splitting
the sky, I could see the narrow path that led to the place my life’s Master was
waiting me in. Finally I dipped in the cave. I had lighted a match, difficult
somehow, a match, for seeing where I’m stepping by. It was so dark, that my knees
were trembling of fear.
In a few moments, I had lighted the candelas, I preliminary installed and sat on
the small carpet. Their flame remiss lighted the room, idol with so much care and
devoutness by my adolescent hands. Drops of rain were seeping on my red face,
because of the fear that inspired me that place dominated by demonic spirits. The
emotions were totally obeying me. I was acting as a virgin at the first love
experience. I wanted to tell Evil one of the most beautiful words, but I didn’t know
how to star. Firstly, I was making childish prayers, but I wanted to do something
special then. Though, after a long hesitation, I’ve started my prayer.
– Evil! Master of Darkness! I created this bower, exclusively for you! Please,
give me the help, I never got from anyone. Only you could allay the loneliness that
dominates my soul. I am a child ignored by society, nobody loves me. Anyone who
sees me, starts detesting me as I would be the worst being of universe. All of them
were avoiding me, not wanting to talk to me. I can find no how a worthy friend. I
realized I need no one, only you. You are disposable to pay me attention anytime.
I’ll defy with obduracy the entire world’s injustice, only being under your tutelage.
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I am totally vexed of people’ ingratitude and vanity. Having your help, I want to
revenge. My vengeful spirit needs an urgent attenuation, thus… Through yourself, I
want to prove the world that I am strong, that nothing scares me and I could do the
impossible never heard in the world’s history. I want to prove people that I have a
Master who can help me anywhere and anytime. Thus, the superiority of erudite
men will visibly diminish, while my power and cunning will barely impose the
authority. Help me, Master, to act maturely in all the situations, under the blazon of
your mastership. Amen!
After I have pronounced these words, I felt in my soul an inexplicable entrance
of an imposing power. I became more stronger than once. I had the impression of
being myself a piece of Evil. I was feeling strong, unscarred, capable of everything.
I was sure I’ll become someone. No one could stay in my way. I had no friends who
could influence my future plans, I had no enemies too, who could put impassable
barriers in front of my way. What about my parents’ attitude toward me, it was
totally favorable. They had always accorded me the absolute freedom. Having the
possibility of acting by myself, I could decide my future too. Even I had been
having the total individuality since the childhood, I never tried to abuse of this
situation. I had always recognized the parents’ right of imposing their control, if
necessary.
Living a special inside happiness, I stood on my feet, having the intention of
going home. Pined with a total satisfied gesture the flame of candelas, which
dispersed full of goodness, their yellow light, the same as may honey, in all the
altar’s corners, neatly idol. Touching the inside walls, I was stepping prudently, till
I got in front of the horizontal wall, which I escalated as a specialist. There was still
raining and thundering outside, but I didn’t care about anything. I was happy, too
happy for noticing the things around me. With romping adolescent steps, being
close to the majority age, I came down the dark and wet path, jumping often, as a
gratitude sign to that who agreed to become my protector. I wasn’t alone anymore, I
had someone who was continuously supervising me. Though being little, mother
tried to educate me in a religious spirit, but I had chosen, more from a childish
ambition, to be the Evil’s servant.
I remember even today, how did my mother tell me:
– Nick, God knocks at everyone’s door, we must only open.
In my case it was different. The Evil knocked at my door and I opened him.
Why did it happen so, I don’t know, the single explication, someone could give me,
is the Creator of universe, himself.
Also, I remember today, how did my mother tell me:
– Everyone of us must believe in God, even we don’t see Him.
– Mum, I can’t believe in something I never saw. I need many signs for
believing in somebody’s existence.
For proving me the opposite part, mother told me:
– You heard about Antarctica, didn’t you?
– I heard, mum.
– Did you ever see this continent?
– No.
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 – Do you believe in it’s existence?
– Of course, many scientists were there, they brought us enough proves that it
does exist, somewhere at the South pole. Also, I saw uncountable photos, which
certifies it’s existence.
– The same is with God. Few of us saw Him, but many people believe in Him.
You lose absolutely nothing if you dedicate Him your life.
Daily, my mother fed me with Christian spirituality, even then, when I was
obedient to Evil. What was mother saying, was ineffective. I’ve dedicated my life
to That who gave me visible signs of a certain existence. I started bowing in front of
Him, because he gave me incredible powers. Namely Evil was the indulgent and
benignant, who invested me with the power of moving things, without touch,
hypnotizing beings, guessing the future. I was gifted to unusual capacities, which
every human being would want to have. I was “the lucky”.
All happened the last night, was like a dream for me. The nocturnal adventure
from the cave, printed to me, only as a strange memory. The next day, early in the
morning, I dressed myself and together with my brothers, went to the school from
the native village, by foot. First thing I did, was that of making tricks on my
classmates. No one had the courage to say anything. All were watching me as a
veritable madman. Extremely rasped, one of my classmates dared to tell me:
– Nick! I don’t recognize you anymore. You was so calm and open-hearted, so
kind and fragile, that even the girls are beating you! And, look, you became the
strongest and the most unscarred pupil from the class, even from the entire school.
– Can you hush?! I replied him, archly.
– Sorry. I wanted only to express my point of view…
– You, a lump, have a point of view?! I cried from all my powers.
– Pardon, pardon! retired he scarily.
– Forgiveness?! You won’t be ever forgiven. You irritated me tiptoe. You are
too guilty in front of me to pardon your culpability. Did you understand?
– I thought you are one of my friends, but…
– But? Continue, what did you want to say!
– You are very bad…
Poor classmate, he didn’t manage to finish the saying. I applied him a strong
hit, so that he crashed down on the floor. The blood sprayed the chapped plank all
around him. The boy stood up, being helped by the other classmates. I was
completely terrified when I saw his face: a nasal fosse was ragged on half, and the
blood was abounding the poor child’s face. I was conscious about the following
consequences: I’ll be punished the way I never was.
While I was thinking about what I am going to do the next moments, the
school’s directress was in front of me.
– Nick! You went too far this time. You’ll be punished the way you should be.
Your parents will be called immediately, for taking a decision together. You are too
aggressive for being forgiven.
– Mrs. Directress! He is guilty. He attacked me, ask the classmates.
– I don’t care what your colleagues say. Your cases of indiscipline are too
frequently the last days. All the children say that you are troubling the school
10
discipline. You may be even be sent to prison. We are going to take a decision, the
next hours, it will calm you forever!
– Mrs. Directress, take whatever decision you want, but don’t call the sector
policeman. I don’t want to have an intended penal file. Please, I said in an asking
voice, hiding the whole cunning I had.
– We’ll see. Now let’s go in the chancellery. Your parents will be here, in less
than an hour.
– Mrs. Directress! Please, say a good word by my side. I promise you that
starting with today, I’ll be the best pupil.
– O.K, I’ll do something to defend you. You are almost graduating the school,
however… I hope you’ll be thankful in the future. I only wish you the weal… You
was such a good, kind pupil…I don’t know what did lead you to this radical,
sudden change. Your parents are well-seen in the village. Is not right to defame
them with your foolish actions…
For the first time, during my relationship with Evil, I was so affected by
someone. Even if the directress could make me tear a little, realizing the
inadvisability of my actions, she couldn’t lead me do the secret’s disclosure. I felt
myself obligated, in a way, to keep this secret, or lese I could risk losing the
capacities invested by Evil.
– Mrs. Directress, I don’t know either how I got in such a situation. As I am
someone’s obedient. Sincerely, I can’t stop myself. Probably the environment
changed me too.
– Probably, Nick, said the directress compassionately, sinking her bleu,
narrowed by furrows eyes, into mine.
While we were mutually watching each other, we heard some knocks in the
chancellery’s door. Opening the door, I met my parents in front of me. Mother,
tiptoe nervous, began to cry:
– Nick! How long are you going to oppress me with your insupportable
behavior? I am tired. I lost my love for you, too. I feel only a feeling of hate and
regrets.
– Regrets?! I had asked.
– Yes, regrets!
– You are sorry you gave me birth, aren’t you?
– Yes, Nick. I don’t deserve to suffer so much because of you.
– Forgive me, mum! I spoke to my directress, too, I promised her to be a
disciplinable, diligent pupil.
– Yes, dame, said the directress. I’m sure Nick will be as he was before. I
assume my responsibility for his future behavior. He is a good boy. A native
goodness is hidden inside of him. The problem is the passing from the adolescence
to maturity, possibly this modified his behavior.
– I think so, too, but the thought that this passing could last too much, kills me,
said mother, a little bite calmer.
– I’ll prosecute something, consented father. I will be extremely strict. The
problem is too much freedom…

11
 – No, sir, said the directress. This way is not good, too. You know the saying:
“The authority degenerates and freedom changes.” The most indicated is to be
moderate in his education. He is a child who promises, that’s why you have to offer
him a certain education, for choosing what’s better.
While this, the victim’s parents had arrived. They were very angry. I was
looking at their frowning hands and I had realized, they were ready to kill me. But
the presence of my parents made them being more reserved in moves and words. I
was really feeling guilty, that’s why I retired in a corner of chancellery, letting the
parents of both camps, to get to a compromise. The situation of shame and
incertitude that affected my conscience was so strong, that it had stolen my hearing,
I couldn’t understand a word spelled by them. Only the sight managed to memorize
some uncontrolled moves of the victim’s mum. I remember only the moment when
she came close to me and said: “Boy, we forgive you, but only once.”
On our way home, mum was crying continuously. This scene made me tear.
There was a fight in my soul, between two opposite forces, for maintaining the
primate. It was the first time I had been feeling that way, since my bond with Evil.
Someone was telling me: “Nick! Be the one you was before”, but the another
confirmed the opposite: “Bravo Nick! Keep it going like this and you’ll get very
far.” I wanted to do a little change as possible, in my life, but the forces left me
certainly in the moment I was intending to do something. For becoming the before
one, I needed much courage and willing, cause Evil rooted so strongly in my soul,
as the trying to enterprise something seemed to be inefficient. The moment I
committed the huge error, was that of accepting Evil conscientiously in my life. I
could refuse him, but another question would appear: “Why would I give up at
some capacities, everyone would aspirate at? Everyone of us would like to posses a
minimum of supernatural forces, which would overstep an ordinary person!
Additionally, what did God offer me during my existence? I had been always
considered inferior to the other colleagues, my opinion didn’t matter when they
decided something in the classroom. I was simply the one who met the humility and
ignorance of the classmates and teachers, that’s why I wouldn’t like to lose this
occasion, the single one of becoming someone, of showing myself as a strong man,
if not intelligent.”
I had the impression that Evil really loves me. Otherwise, he wouldn’t gifted
me to such forces. I was his faithful agent, who executed the orders without
contesting anything. Tiptoe is that I was only an improver. I’m asking myself, what
I would have been today, if I continued my practices till now. During the short
period I have been accepted Evil however, my soul transformed into a real gallery
for Evil Spirits. He led me the way he wanted. I think he really had a huge plan
with me, which he didn’t manage to realize till the end.
Getting home, I took a sudden decision, because of what started the real
anguish of my life. The engagement was the next: “I won’t pray to Evil anymore,
but I won’t be devoted to God either. I want to be absolutely free, I don’t need
anyone. I’ll be the master of my life. Every new, superior force, has it’s own plans
concerning our future. It doesn’t arrange me, I want to apply my own strategies of
creating a future.”
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 During two weeks, there was no ameliorating reason in my life, but neither of
an aggravated situation. Everything remained unchanged, but, the last day of the
second week, at twelve o’clock, when all my family’s members were sleeping,
something unusual happened. I was sleeping for a while, when suddenly a forte
hand shuttered me strongly. I opened the eyes immediately, looking scared around
me. I even turned on the light, for seeing what happened, but I didn’t detect
anything unusual. An ineffable horror was oppressing me and I tried to asleep as
soon as possible. I was easily asleep, when another shutter, more stronger than the
first one, made me open my eyes again. The shock provoked me, was far over my
powers: I had seen the demon in meat and bones, standing some cm away from me.
I had been so scared, as I had clumped in a bed’s corner, trembling like a leaf on the
poplar, beat by the wind’s force.
– Where should you be at this hour, naughty boy? cried the outsider. You are
not at all the one I imaged you. I’ll have a lot of work to do till I’ll give you the
right education. I’m waiting you in the altar. Come, or you are a dead man
otherwise.
– OK, I’m coming, answered him sweaty of horror.
I dressed myself in a few minutes and got out. After some minutes, I was
standing already on the rug from the altar, with the light candelas. I hadn’t even
remarked the moment, when Evil appeared in front of me.
– Who do you think you are, boy?
– I consider myself nobody, Evil, I said. Leave me alone. I can’t continue my
life like this, anymore. Dispossess me of all the forces you gave me.
– Are you crazy?... You won’t get away from me so quickly. You will be
bound to fight for a while, to can get rid of me.
– My Master! I don’t want to be docile anymore, I want to obey nobody. I wish
a complete freedom. I am scared of a such living way, I don’t want to live in such
an emotional obscurity anymore. I want to turn back into the one I was once!
– Hush! He told me suddenly. Do you want to be flouted again? I assure you
that all will make tricks on you, as they did before. You’ll be an unimportant,
disrespectful man forever, always accompanied by the failing. The crucible will be
your nearest friend. What would you wish more, to be ridden, or to be repressor?
See? I gave you the necessary courage to can defy more easily your enemies. You
are already my son, you can’t turn your face to other masters. If you’ll listen to be,
you are going to be the trickiest man from the world!
– I don’t accept nonsense words anymore. You transformed me into a
marionette!...
– Ineradicable and unworthy man! How you dare to offense me?
– I don’t trust your words anymore. I agree to accept all the things from you,
except aggression and rebellion!
– Insurgency characterizes me. If I would omit this fact from my activity, I am
not Evil anymore. Do you understand me?
– I understand you Evil, but I have one question more…
– I’m listening, said Evil impatiently.

13
 – What do you want to obtain, making me obedient to You. Do I have such a
value, as to be interesting for you?
– Yes. You can do such things, nobody else could do. You must listen to me
only, because the results will come later. Not all the people can handle the tension
provoked by the supernatural powers. This is a difficult mission for all, but too easy
for you.
– But, evil, don’t you see I’m more dead than alive?! Let me. All the people
hate me, because of you, even my parents.
– While I was speaking to Evil, I felt something cold, moving on a leg.
Gradually, that moving coolness began raising onto my arm. Looking frightened at
my hand, I stayed deaf and dumb. I couldn’t say a word, while Evil was horribly
grinning.
– Evil, take it from me, it will bite me!
– Don’t be afraid, it is not venomous! ha, ha, ha.
– Take it, I’m deadly scared!
– Don’t be afraid, you mission on the ground is not over. You have a lot to
do…
A big snake was curling around my arm. Even if I used to catch snakes from
the mere, close to our house, I never had one curling around my hand. Most of all
there was venom inside of it.
– Take it, please! I was imploring Evil. I’m dieing of scare! Look how it
climbs my chest.
– Nick, I adore the way you act like a fool. You are like a child ill of epilepsy,
ha, ha.
– You act like a fool! Dirty Evil! cried me as loud as I could.
– What did you say? Shame on you, abject man! You are the grubbiest man I
ever saw.
– Grubbier than you?
– I am weary of your cracked behavior. I have a lot to do until I’ll polish your
manners.
– Master! I implore you to take the snake! Look what a big mouth it gaped, it’s
able to devour me. Do something, are you pitiless, I’m obedient to you!
– O.K., my child, I like you now. Deface your tears and transpiration. You are
going to get rid of this ugly sensation, in a few moments.
Watching the Evil straightly, I saw how he pulled out a knife, gilded with a
golden stratum. After some instantaneous moves, he griped the snake and
decapitated it pitilessly. Suddenly, I became perplex, I didn’t understand why did he
do that uncommon, terrible thing.
For some minutes, the cave had been covered with an unordinary quite, so
profound, as I could hear the heart’s beats. I was watching puzzled the dirty actions
of Evil, without saying a word. Most of all, scared me the moment when He put the
snake head on the rug, while started to devour greedily the anther part.
– What are you doing? I asked him very scared.
– I do what you are going to do after some moments.
– What?
14
 – Take the snake head!
– What for?
– Take it, I said, I won’t repeat anymore!
– See, I took it, where should I throw it? I said in a trembling voice.
– In your stomach, son, there, throw it immediately, cried Evil.
– How can it be possible? I will die!
– Did I order you or not?
– I think you are joking, I said smiling, without realizing a thing.
– Do it voluntary, otherwise, I’ll impose you to do it.
– I’m sorry, but I can’t execute this order. Such scenes make me feel sick.
– Such scenes? Aren’t you ashamed to say something like this? You, people,
one by another are acting like butchers! Annually, you sacrifice millions, even
milliards of animals, consuming them greedily. Every square meter is imbued with
liters of blood. You like blood as I do.
He didn’t manage to say these words, as he was camping on me, pushing me
by force, that snake’s head. It was full of blood, with big, light eyes, with the
tongue out, as he was alive.
– Eat! He cried.
– How can I eat, it is only bone! I mumbled.
– Swallow it!
– It’s impossible, Evil!
– Everything is possible for me.
He took my hand and began pushing me the head of the defunct reptile. I
recognize, I swallowed it, but I wanted to vomit my entire body. I was feeling very
miserable, but, suddenly, all became differently. A profound numbness entered my
body. My moves were so slowly, as I was finding myself in a dream. I was
speaking on syllables, mumbling myself, but then, something unexpected happened.
I came back to normal, being more strongly this time. I could light things with my
sparkling eyes, I could electrocute and blind anyone, even melting metals.
– Did you enjoy the meat, or didn’t you, son?
– Yes, Master, it was so tasteful, that I would be able to eat one more head.
– It’s enough, I wouldn’t like you to be stronger than me.
– I can’t understand why did you do so, Evil? I asked him curiously.
– I’ll tell you immediately.
– I’ll die probably. I swallowed the snake’s venom too?
– Don’t you see that it’s poison made you stronger? This venom is fatal for
others, but for those with special missions on the earth, it has an inverse effect. It is
capable to transform a normal man in a superman.
– So, I became a superman?
– Yes.
– Will I be always so?
– Only the period you’ll obey me.
– I will be always obedient to you, Evil. I promise, I said.
– Nick, do you want to be my friend? asked Evil suddenly.
– Me, your friend? But it’s absurd?!
15
 – No, it’s something very normal!
– O.K, I agree, I said.
– I’m very glad, Nick! Now listen to me attentively!
– I’m listening Master, tell me!
– I think you know that I’m the God’s son?!
– I know, I had been reading the Bible for many times, thou I can’t trust it.
– At the beginning, the relationship between my Father and me was perfect.
A little bit later, I became the way you are now, I didn’t want to obey Him
anymore, I had the uncontrolled desire of living independently. I remember even
today that I had become so insurgent, that Father decided to drive me out from the
heavenly kingdom. Now I’m free, I can do everything, but what for, my life is
limited. I’ll have to answer for all my offences. But you have to know Nick that I’ll
fight till the last moment of my existence. I want to help people, but nobody
understands me. The world is different, that’s why I aspire to a diversified way of
power’s manifestation, getting to the possibility for every man to have his own
Master, without being threatened by God. I want people to have the right of
dedicating in front of anyone, anywhere and anytime. My Father’s power needs an
immediate limit. We can’t admit his authorial spirit to obey the man totally.
I am so sorry that Father tries to denigrate me through any possible way.
People have bad opinions about me, thinking I’m the humankind’s monster. They
think I came on earth badly intentioned. The truth is totally different. I loved the
world enormously, that’s why I came amongst you. I want to help you to know the
freedom, to know the truly wisdom.
Watching him attentively, I saw Evil tearing. He was like a scared child, who
was looking for my help. Poor, he told me his secrets, desires and aspirations. That
moments, I had the impression of him being so powerless, that I could give him a
part of my immeasurable powers. I think I could kill him, but living without Evil,
won’t be a real life anymore. It would be a pseudo-life that wouldn’t value a thing. I
had been noticing his intentions of becoming undying, but the wish of obtaining the
immortality was based on his own forces. He wasn’t hoping for an intermediary, as
people hope in Jesus Christ.
There was an amazing silence in the cave, for some moments. Both of us were
finding in a meditative profound situation. Evil was so worried, unmeaning,
unhappy… It seemed to me that he was out of luck. Only I could understand him.
At a moment, I even wanted to hug, pet and console him. It was so painful for me to
see him in such a situation. His eyes were emanating an inexplicable pain and an
interrogative look, too. He looked for an answer, but nobody gave it.
For smashing the silence from the cave, I asked him the next:
– Evil, if I’m not wrong, according to the Bible’s retellings, you are Jesus
Christ’s brother ?
– Exactly! answered He promptly. Like my father, Jesus doesn’t love me, too.
I remained absolutely alone. However, God will understand one day that the
ramified power is a stringent need for the humanity. The importance of this fact is
irrefutable, that’s why I think people will thank me sometime, for the huge courage
I had till now.
16
 – These are your affairs, already, Evil!
– You’ll see I’m not as week as my Father thinks. I’ll achieve my goals,
anyway.
I don’t know what made me so, but I had the courage to ask Evil something
else:
– Master, if I will ever try to emancipate under your authority, what’s gone be?
– You’ll try this only then when God will try to take you from me. But, be
sure, you won’t be able to escape under my tutelage. I’ll take care to feed you
permanently to my learning.
– Why are you so sure, I won’t be able to get rid of you?
– The snake we ate, set a brothers connection between us. More than this, what
would you use for an eventual freedom opposite to me? Think very well: what I
offered you, nobody else could ever give you.
– You are right, Evil. Now, could you please let me go home? It is very late.
– Go, my son, I will be waiting for you tomorrow in the evening!
– I’ll come indispensably.
– Be strong! Because I prepared you an inheritance as all my obedient people
have. Be strong, son!
– Thank you, Evil!

***

The days were passing one by another. After a week, the time the studies lased
in, the strongly-wished summer holiday came. I had a plenty of time for strolling
and going to the cave, but sometimes I had to go to another parts, having tasks from
my parents to do. A daily task I should always do was the forest’s control, for
catching the wood burgers. That mission made me think as I was a real policeman
who is hunting the criminals. My transport was our old stallion. It carried me on the
ways and paths of that century-old forest. It knew by-heart all the ways with springs
which was flowing abundantly at the trees’ foots, especially those of oaks. The
beginning of June was fascinating. The sun was shining with an unordinary power.
The trees’ leaves, green as usually, seemed to be golden. The flowers’ aroma was
perfuming the air, making it sweeter than honey. That perfume began strongly
divine my conceptions. It made me open my eyes and see the world’s real face. It
was also the substance that influenced beneficently my psychological condition,
became precarious the last time. The June month of that year infused me the huge
courage of retelling my parents about all that happened to me, condition
characterized by a real spiritual destitution and by a completely isolation of the
society. Being in that days, which opened the doors to a real summer, I couldn’t
bear the inhibition situation and I opened my heart. I understood then that the
problem of my relationship with Evil, wasn’t standing on my shoulders only, but it
was my parents’ problem, too. Initially, my mother and father were timorous of

17
what they’ve being heard, but then, reverting up, they decided to apply a plan they
thought would be efficient.
I was absolutely conscious that I wouldn’t escape so easy from the evil nets,
but I couldn’t stay without doing anything. I wanted to be the same as other
children of my age, who aspired to an usual life, I wanted not to be considered a
bizarre man. I didn’t intent to keep my occult power I was possessing anymore. I
started to realize that the essential thing for a normal existence appreciated by
people is kindness. Why causing people harm? It would been calling me from the
real human spirit, always imposing me to contest the fully Creator’s authority.
More than this, I was rescuing to stay in a permanent isolation from people, out of
friends, unaccepted by society. Finally, I was rescuing too much, because of the
mysterious power I possessed. If I wouldn’t intent to enterprise an urgent
emancipation from Evil, it would been more difficult to do it later. My parents had
a crucial contribution in this case.
– Mum, dad! I want to tell you something, something that’s oppressing me for
a while, I said one day.
– Tell us son. We didn’t speak for a while. What hurts you?
– Oh, mum and dad, I had never disclosed to you. It’s so difficult for me to
speak.
– Say son, I had never seen you so cast down. You look so as you suffer of a
disease.
– I am ill, mum!
– What happened? Speak?!
– I assure you, it will seem incredible…
– What do you have, syphilis, pneumonia? spoke mother confusedly.
– Do you have a heart pain? asked father.
– No! I answered. I have a more difficult disease you can imagine.
– You have AIDS? cried mother hopelessly.
– No, mum.
– Oh, God, she said, there is nothing more awfully than this disease.
– It means there is a healing for our son’s disease.
– Mum, dad, Evil obeys me. I’m obedient to Him.
– Ah, that’s why you are so glum, son, spoke mother tearfulness. But how do
you know that you are his obedient? Did you see him?
– Did you feel him? completed dad.
– Both of these.
– The Evil in our house. Incredible! mumbled father. As I can remember, it
had never happened something like this…
– I met him every night, in my cave from the glade. There was finding the altar
dedicated to Him, I continued detached.
– Son, I had noticed for many times your absence, in the middle of the night,
but I thought you went out with personal needs, father was speaking me gently.
– Are you still going there? asked mum.
– I hadn’t been there for two days, and I feel my psychological condition is
almost down. I have such nightmares, which terrify me. I’m afraid to asleep. Evil is
18
threatening me that I’ll be oppressed with such nightmares for my entire life if I
don’t go to pray. More than that, he’ll kill me in the most barbarous way…
– God! What should we do? Our son fell in the nets of the greatest enemy.
Please, God, open our eyes, help us finding the right decision! He is our son and he
needs Your help. Otherwise he will be lost, prayed mother hopelessly.
– I know what we should do, exclaimed father.
– What? asked mother, reselling for a moment.
– I think it will be the most efficient cure for our son’s healing.
– Tell at once, don’t make me wait!
– Take him to monastery?
– To monastery? I asked. Never!
– Why not? How do you want to get rid of Evil?! We don’t have another
possibility.
– You know dad, I had been always hating the monks?!
– You didn’t hate only monks. You hated all the people, even us. Evil is the
guilty one, that’s why we’ll apply especially this plan.
– We’ll do the way your father says, approved mother.
– But…
– No but, son. We want you as before: kind, smiling, disciplinable, diligent
child. Don’t you want to be in the top of you class anymore? Don’t you want to be
boasted by teachers anymore? Remember the times before these! spoke mother
firmly, wishing to convince me
– I do, mother. I can’t bear my situation anymore. Evil is totally governing my
soul. I want to be happy, to see the world in the same colors as you do.
– Because of this, son, we’ll go to the monastery, even the next days, said
father in a quite voice.
– How well that you are on holiday. You’ll stay there all the need time,
completed mother.
– What monastery are you intending to take me to? Is it far away from here? I
asked.
– It’s in the north of the country, but it isn’t a problem. We are well-known to
the monk-abbot. He will take care of you, supervising you continuously. Be sure
you won’t miss us. More than that, you are sufficiently young, you are almost
eighteen! said mother almost quitter.
– You’re right mother. I should behavior as a mature child. I’m not a spoiled
little child anymore. I promise I will change my behavior radically.
– Nick, you have to pray God intensively for this. Only he will be able to make
a wonder.
– But, mum, you know I had never noticed His presence…
– You didn’t feel his power because you was dominated by Evil. But know
that your hostile attitude toward divinity will be changed when you’ll escape from
the evil tentacles.
– We’ll see mom, I think I am a good boy and I deserve a happy destiny, too.

19
 – Of course you deserve, son. May be more than you can imagine. But know
that glory appears due to the effort. The efficient effort is always based on the
saying: “For obtaining the maximum, you must wish the impossible.”
– I will be able to think at this, only after my covenant remission from Evil.
– What covenant? asked mother.
– I ate a snake head, mom. Evil imposed me to do it. He wanted to fraternize
us this way. He told me then, that I won’t escape from “His world”.
– Everything is possible for God. Don’t have any doubts, son.
– I don’t doubt, mother!
– You ate a snake head? involved father as a whirlwind…
– Yes, father, I ate and I hope it won’t repeat anymore.
– It is the most miserable thing, son!
– I know, but I couldn’t do anything.
– Let’s forget the past and speak about the future, said mother with a
conciliation feeling.
– You’re right, I said.
– We’ll have a new son very soon. The old one won’t be anymore, father said
his opinion.
– It depends of you, Nick and of the God’s willing, said mother.
– Mom, you know my emancipation intentions…

***

I will never forget that day. I considered it the day of victory. Specially that
day, I could stop the psychological inhibition. I had disclosed my problems to the
parents and I was feeling safety. The though of Evil’s revenge wasn’t scaring me
anymore. My armor were the parents, there was no place for fear in my soul. I was
waiting timorously the day of my visit to monastery, because I wanted to finish
there the plan of my soul’s emancipation. That day, I got along with my brothers,
too. I felt them close to my soul, as I never did before. I even had the courage to tell
them also about my relationship with Evil. In the evening of the same day, together
with two of them, went to the cave and destroyed the fiend’s altar completely. I had
to do one step more for coming back to the normal life. This step meant to show
Evil that he doesn’t scare me anymore and his threatening also.
– Eh, sons, come to meal! The supper will get cold! we heard mother’s voice.
– We come immediately, answered we in a voice.
It was a special supper, with a calm, friendly even delicious atmosphere. My
parents were looking happier than never. They were glad that I’ll get rid of Evil
soon and I’ll become a good-mannered, decent boy. I hadn’t been creating them
problems anymore, at school and in the society, too.
Their plan was promising to be a heavenly one. I’ve heard for many times that
some monks had the power of throwing out the demons from the people’s souls and
life. I wasn’t the only one who suffered because of this Beast. Initially, it seemed
20
attractive and promising to me, I wasn’t realizing that a quite, efficient life must be
set on some principles. Speaking of me, I had no principles which could be utile for
my entire life. I was believing only in the power gave by Evil. But what for?! A life
without principles is like a house out of fundament. I was rescuing to fall as all the
evil men did. Till that moment, I didn’t meet any person, who being devoted to
Evil, could do some utile things for the society. The ambiguity of Evil’s promises
began to look unreal and inefficient, exactly then.
It was the hour when my entire family went to bed. I went to bed, too, getting
asleep very quickly. The shock happened in the middle of the night, spoiled all the
last day’s magic. I had been awaking, because of the strong jerks provoked by
someone. It was Evil.
– What are you doing, crazy man? You want to run away from me? Never.
You are mine and that’s it, did you understand?
– Leave me alone, I was hardly mumbling because of the intense saliva, that
was abounding my mouth.
– You won’t ever have peace, I’ll destroy you definitely, Evil was threatening
me, pushing his finger profoundly in my neck, intending to suffocate me this way.
– Go away, I was screaming. I didn’t call you. I don’t need you and either your
powers. The viability of your kingdom is meant to be failed. The immensity of your
power has been weaken already.
– Hush, you, mean, I’ll kill you otherwise!
– What will you obtain if you kill me? You’ll be more Evil? You’ll remain the
same disgusting Beast, hated by all. You are causing only harm, doing well to
nobody, laughing at human race. But you won’t tempt. I am enough strong without
you miserable forces. I will escape your net, be sure…
– No, crazy child! Why don’t you understand? You’ll be also a Master of the
world, as I am. Don’t you wish this? It’s better to be treated as a garbage, by all
around you? Do you remember your colleagues’ attitude? All of them were beating
you, as a powerless silly, but now…
– I won’t ever be the way I was before, but neither to remain so. I don’t want
to impose my authority amongst the people, being helped by force, I want to show
them my wisdom. Did you understand?
– You’ll be disdained by all! pronounced Evil in an irritated voice.
– No, I’ll be appreciated by all the people, they will boast me, I have the
courage to face You.
– I will destroy you step by step, naughty boy!
– Trying to destroy me, you are destroying yourself. You’ll be losing all your
fans, soon. Your power depends of people. What kind of king are you going to be,
without kingdom. You are ruined.
– Hush! Don’t make me nervous. From now on, you’ll find out whom are
talking to. Your life’s nightmare is almost starting.
These being said, Evil disappeared. I began to believe that my plan of escaping
the life of demon livings will be out of success, because of the disgusting Evil’s
presence. I was thinking I’ll stay forever in the humiliating, degrading ambiance, I
was finding that moment.
21
 But what else he could do? Didn’t he show me all the possible harm? I was
asking the same time: “what does the future reserve me?” No way I could imagine.
I had to step by myself on the unknown earth, and to face it. Thou I was dominated
by tenebrous feelings, there was a light thread in my heart, that was inspiring me an
admirable wish of continuing my way to victory, no matter the possible rescues.
The little hope of becoming one day the leader of my life, was helping me
enormously, to see the life in it’s real colors. I was dreaming. Dreaming about my
past freedom, running on the fields spread with flowers. The flowers of happiness,
of pride… Dreaming about the warm, the sun was giving me kindly transparent
lights. I was free. I was feeling so well. I was a happy child, till the moment
when…
The nights were passing one by another and the decisive day came. The fence
that was the only obstacle from escaping the dark, ruined that day. I was close to
freedom, so, I took advantage of that and went with my parents to the centre of
universe and of my soul.
It was on Monday morning:
– Nick, get up, we are almost leaving!
– Immediately, mom. Why such a hurry?
– He who wakes up early goes a long way, did you forget?
– This proverb isn’t valid for us.
– Why? asked mother in a wonder.
– Do you know the second variant of the proverb?
– No, I don’t.
– Listen. He who wakes up early, sleeps less. I’m dead of sleeping.
– Eh, you are waking up everyday at this time!
– OK, you won…
The luggage was ready a day before. We had to have breakfast only and to
start our way. My little brother was going to come with us, too. He was as curious
as me, impatient for seeing new, distant, unknown, beautiful places. He was the one
I was communicating to sometimes, during the period I was totally obeyed by Evil.
When he was asking me why I was acting so strange, I answered him: “Because
you are different”.
– You know nothing else than these words, he replied me unthankfully.
– You know we can’t be the same. Every man is created so, to be characterized
by manners and irreparable peculiarities. Did you understand?
– You are not understandable as usually, Nick!
– May be, but it is not my fault.
– Who’s guilty for the way you are?
– I know only one thing! I was answering him.
– What do you know?
– That I’m finding myself in this miserable situation, only because of me.
– When I’m speaking to you, is like I’m pushing a coach with a dead donkey,
concluded my brother.
He was using a roughish, ungentle language, but it didn’t affect me, because
we, children, were used to such hellish words and expressions.
22
 So, finally, we had left to monastery. While father was driving cautiously the
car, I was speaking continuously to my mother, involving my brother in our
discussion, too. I was happy, extremely glad of my parents caring attitude. Only
they could take care of me the way they did. Nobody else could care about my
spiritual condition I was getting through. Who else would have been offered me the
help for not falling into the hollow? Nobody. Barely then, I understood who really
loves me and suffers for me. I promised myself that starting with that moment, till
the end of my days, I will respect holily my parents. Never offend them, cause
offending a parent is a great sin for the Creator. Barely that day, I put the bases of
my most serious life priorities. I was hoping that starting with a decent behavior, I
will achieve the other goals, which will be the lasting, incontestable references for
the future. Emancipating myself from the evil, I was realizing as well, that I won’t
have nightmares anymore. I will be free of hallucinations, nervous crisis, hate
against society and libidinous inclinations. If I would give up at all of these
immediately, I would become a pious, saint man. The monks had the most difficult
mission, they were assuming the responsibility to heal me. Only an eventual
expulsion of Evil from my soul, would have been guaranteed a behavioral change.
Finally, after some hours on the way, baiting a little, we arrived to the
monastery from the hills, having woods all around it. Initially, I had the impression
that we’ve got in the forest we were leaving from, that morning. After some
moments of profound contemplation, I felt how a holly air was threading all my
orifices. There was a divine atmosphere persisting above the little monastery and
above the afferent forest.
– Nice to see you again! brother abbot, cried the parents the same time.
An old monk, whose grey beard was longing over the chest, dressed in a black
frockcoat, with a hanging cross of medium dimensions, was sitting at a little table
under a tree, shoring the forehead with a hand, hardly reading in an old book. He
showed no reaction at my parents’ call, sitting firmly till the moment my father’s
strong, but friendly hand, shuttered him a little. He flinched as he had woke up.
– Ah! reacted His Saint wonderingly! Are you here? How glad to see you
again! You haven’t been here for a while.
Saying these, he got next to everyone and kissed us on the cheek. Poor monk
was trying hopelessly to hide the age’s shake.
– Brother abbot! Living in weal, people forget about God. Only dipping in the
slush, he turns the eyes to the sky, asking the Creator for help, said mother
suspiring.
– The whole world is so, brothers, said the abbot. Remembers God only for
asking and prayers. There are few of those who kneel daily, thanking God for their
life, the way it is, good or bad.
– You had always learnt us only good things. We didn’t realize ahais value,
until we weren’t through by the evil’s power, said father reflexively.
– I believe you, I was the same at your age. After more years, I became closer
to God. When you feel the death one step far, you make a covenant with God, cause
you are afraid of not going into the hell, had spoke the abbot, in the same
meditative voice.
23
 – That’s right, brother. We are thinking about this, oftener and oftener. We
aren’t young anymore to believe that our life is almost starting.
– Father, next to the problems we have daily, there is one more and we think it
will destroy me and my husband, too. Our son is mischievous. A demon is
oppressing him for a while. There are some evil forces in his soul.
– Oh, my Goodness! he has such a bright face and so clear eyes, as you would
say, he’s looking to an angel, had spoke the father, being amazed.
Meanwhile, the host entrusted me to a monk, ordering him to introduce me to
the monastery and to the room I was going to live in.
– What’s your name, boy? the young monk asked me curiously, snatching my
cloth rucksack.
– My name is Nick!
– What made you come to us? Are you intending to be a monk? he was
tempting me gravely.
– Macarye! Don’t put him many questions. Do what I’ve been told you,
quarreled him the abbot.
– I understood, Your Saint.
The young monk was leading me on a narrow pavement, boarded by different
flowers, to a two-level house, for showing me the room. From the hall, I scaled
some stairs, made from fir, up to the second level. Stepping cautiously behind
Macarye, I got to a narrow, dark hall. The baseboards were creaking under the
heels. An intense incense was impregnating profoundly the inside air. Everything
looked divine in that hall, even the darkness I had been always scared of.
– Fellow, this is your room, spoke Macarye, opening a small door, through
which was rushing a silvery light, that came from the room’s window.
There was a pretty small, but very careful cell. The walls were of a blinding
white. There was a candelabrum made from multicolor glasses, hanging by the
ceiling. In the left side of the spacious window, was set the sofa equipped with
white sheets as the room’s walls. There was a cupboard set near the sofa. I was
amazed by the fact that beside the sofa and cupboard, there was a clepsydra, set on
the window sill.
I found out later, that there was a clepsydra in every monk’s room, but the
reason of there presence remained unknown to me.
– Nick, I leave you here for getting used to the room. You can get out
whenever you want. Starting with today, the monastery’s area is belonging to you,
told me the monk blandly.
– O.K., Macarye! I told him. I’ll get out as soon as I arrange my things.
There were thirty monks at the monastery, whose duties were: feeding animals,
garden works, flowers’ irrigation. They had a lot of fruit trees, especially cherry
trees. It was the cherry time then. I had the possibility to indulge my soul
sufficiently, with the sweetness of those magnificent fruits.
Watching through the window to the monastery’s yard, which was racy tired, I
had noticed my parents, continuing their discuss with the abbot. What were they
discussing about, so that they decided to debate it without me? Why did they send

24
me in the cell? Asking questions myself, I noticed that my father pulled out a very
shiny object which he handed to the abbot. What was it?...

***

The next day, early in the morning, the abbot came to my room.
– Good morning, fellow! How are you feeling here?
– Righteously, Father! I think Evil is afraid to enter the monastery, I had no
ugly dream.
– Here is a saint place evil spirits are running from.
– I felt this, since I had came here, Father!
– Anyway, don’t think your engagement with Evil is over. You are going to
pass through some agonies, but it will be fine till the end.
– Father, are you sure you’ll oust Him? He told me he won’t ever leave me in
peace?!
– Young man! There were many ducks as you are living here. I healed
everyone, with no exception. I’m the abbot with the strongest influence toward the
demons. I’ll purify you, son, I’ll purify you!
Abbot’s words were reechoing. His loud, with divine chords voice, had thrilled
my heart. He seemed to be the only man who could save me from the demon, who
wasn’t leaving me in peace.
– Father, sometimes I had the sensation that Evil left me definitively and that
God is the one I love. I was very disappointed having the evil back in my soul.
– Our feelings are fluctuating permanently, son, while God’s love remains
constantly.
– What about me, my feelings aren’t fluctuating, they appear and disappear.
Sometimes I become worse than a dog. I’m cruel, impertinent.
– Boy, “as crueler you are, as much more you’ll hate; and as much more you
hate, as crueler you’ll become”.
– You speak as a philosopher, Father. There are few people as you, one had
ever met.
– Those few out value, but the society is not willing to recognize them. They
belong to the category of people who know the top of wellness, the essence of
divinity, but who got through hell initially… The abbot’s eyes were wetting.
– What do you want to say?
– I’ve been set to prison, at the age of eighteen.
– In the jail? Ex-prisoner, actually abbot?
– I recovered my freedom, at the age of forty eight.
– Practically, you spent more than half a life in the jail?!
– As same as life, the majority of things devise in halves, they have a double
aspect. Really, the happiness one can live is equal to his sufferance. The day hours
during a year, are equivalent to the number of night hours. The activity and
inactivity process of a man is also devising in halves. You can treat a cause, a
25
person, in two ways: either gently, or viciously, you agree, or you disagree. The
universe of halves set together, creates the whole.
– Were you religious when you entered the prison?
– I was possessed the same as you are. I’ve been oppressed by a demon for a
long time and a lot of people had to suffer because of me.
– But what crime had you committed, as you’ve been sent to jail.
– I’ll give you no answer to this question, said the abbot in a grave voice. I
expiated my punishment according to the law. I had atoned in front of God. I am
pure minded.
– Have you ever seen God? I haven’t seen Him yet?
– Son, “as long as you’re going to look down, you won’t ever see what’s above
you”. Having your eyes, you could see nothing else than demons. You can see God
every moment watching with the eyes of your soul. The soul is the mirror of clarity,
of divinity, but for the weak people, it can become a dwelling for demons.
– Am I a weak person?
– Those weak realize the value of hardness. They are going to aspire all the
time for being harder. Me, for example, became hard starting with being weak.
– I lost through my weakness, Father. I lost God!
– You didn’t lose anything, son. We, people, are nothing more than toys in the
God’s hands and in the Evil’s ones. You didn’t lose God, Evil won you. The main
is very big. There is a fight between Lucifer and God. Everyone of them wants to
have won as more devotees as possible.
– Then, there is no way to escape the Evil’s nets. However he has more
devotees than God does. What is the benefit? The Evil, whom I consider being the
worst one, gave me enormous powers.
– God, in comparison to Evil, doesn’t offer moment benefits. He offers us
possibilities in accordance with the ulterior times. He offers us the eternity, while
Lucifer and his devotees will face agonies forever. Therefore, we, the viewers of
good and evil, can make the difference; we have the priority for choosing the
advantages from the disadvantages.
There was a question appearing in my heart, which I didn’t hesitate to ask the
abbot.
– Did you ever love a woman?
– The love you feel for someone, can be whenever transformed into hate.
That’s why, after forty eight years, I’ve started to love all the same. I had never felt
special sentiments for a person. May be I would have fall in love, if I hadn’t been
happen into the jail, during my youth.
– Father, why aren’t we love by the being we would like to be?
– Son, don’t ask for love if it’s not given to you. Have it from those who offer
it to you. God is the first who loved you, as he gave you life.
– You’re right, Father!
– Now, I would like to know how are you feeling? Don’t you have the
impression of keeping a strange body inside of you?
– No, Father!
– Then how you explain the presence of Evil in your life?
26
 – He gave me to eat a snake head and told me that we are fraternized. I think
he considers me a demon with man blood.
– Awfully! Your condition is much more difficult as I imagined. I healed very
many mischievous people, till now, but you are an exception. I should prepare you
a drinking you are going to have in the evening, in the middle of the church, while
we, monks, will pray God for your healing.
– O.K., Father!
– But, until the evening comes, it would be good for you to read something.
Let’s go to the library. I want to give you a book with prayers. Beside the prayer
books, we have a multitude of other books you will be pleased to read.
– I am not used to read Christian literature.
– You will get used to many things, especially to the Bible’s reading, till your
stay here.
– I’ve read the Bible for some times. I know many details and contradictory
affirmations.
– The sinners have always looked for evil from the good things. The biggest
sin about the Bible, is to contest it’s truth. But worse, is to look for errors. The
Bible can’t be qualified as being good or bad. It is much superior to these two
qualifications, it is a personification of God. The divine generalization is given us in
the concrete condition. Don’t you ever dare to express your opinion toward the
Bible, son, O.K.?
– If the Bible and God aren’t either good or bad, then what is it like? What’s
evil, what’s good?
– It is complicated for you, son. You won’t understand it so easy.
– Explain me, Father, I am very curious.
– Being good or bad are qualifications reported to the things which have
nothing in common with the divinity. The weal and the evil are phenomena created
by God. So, the God and the Bible too, because it is the personification of divinity,
can not be good or evil, don’t present the weal or the evil. The God reflected in the
Bible is higher than these two phenomena. This is the pantheist concept. Though it
doesn’t correspond to that Christian, I promote this one.
– I don’t understand too much from what you are telling to me!
The old abbot, trimming his beard, exclaimed suddenly:
– Son! for understanding me better, I’ll give you an example. Is it possible for
a man to be a plane, or a racket, even if he created it.
– Is out of discussion, it’s ridiculous, ha, ha!
– God is the Creator of weal and evil. It is impossible for Him, being the
Creator, to be a creature, too.
– I understood, Father. You are so erudite.
– The library we have here, helped me a lot. The books are full of wisdom and
of craziness, too. I will learn you to differentiate the wisdom from the craziness.
– How could I differentiate it, Father?
– The Bible says: “The wisdom we take from the world is, actually, craziness.”
For differentiating the world’s wisdom, which is craziness, from the divine wisdom,

27
I’ve created the next custom. What would I read if I were God? That’s why I have
been studying theology, for more than twenty years.
– What means theology?
– The theology means “The science about God”.
– Charles Darwin studied the theology, too, but worked for Evil, almost his
entire life, elaborating the theory of evolutionism.
– He atoned himself, before he died and God forgave him, said the abbot
meditatively, while we were leaving the cell.
Getting to the library, the abbot began to familiarize me with the spiritual
wealth that was deposited on the full of books shelves.
– We have operas from the nineteenth century. We keep it sacredly, because
it’s value is inestimable for us, monks, said the old abbot gently, while he was
pulling out of his pocket a huge key. He had unlocked the door.
The library was down in the basement. I had the possibility to admire the
imposing book collection, having the weak light of the bulb hanged by the ceiling.
Being no windows there, the monks installed the shelves so that there wasn’t seen
any wall. There was a reading desk there. A little sword immobilized on a metallic
stand was set on it. Was it the shiny object my parents gave the abbot?
Suddenly, I had the temptation of snatching the little sword… There was blood
showing in front of my eyes. I was seeing the abbot dead…
– Let me alone, Evil! I roared.
– What’s happening, son?
– It’s O.K., Father. I’m simply roaring sometimes.
– See, we have only prayer books on this shelf. On the shelves from the left
side, there are books about the Christian history and about the great Fathers of the
Orthodox Church.
While the monk was presenting me the huge thesaurus they were disposing of,
I stopped my glance on a coffer made from red wood. It was set down, near the
dusty, old, in cobweb reading desk. “Certainly, there are deposited secrets”, I was
speaking to myself. I felt the desire of reading and seeing it. Or may be there were
no books, but diamonds? Trying to create good impressions, I was hoping to win
the abbot’s trust, for having free access to the library, later, being accompanied by
nobody.
– Father, I would like you to give me a prayer book and an opera that belongs
to a great writer, too.
– Ah, son, I am glad to hear that young men want to learn! I’ll give you a book
of Hegel.
– But, he is a philosopher! I exclaimed a little bit displeased.
– It doesn’t matter. I borrowed a lot of his conceptions about God and religion.
When you’re going to God, is important to know how to do it. With the
Hegel’s help I discovered some secrets every Christian should know.
– In comparison to other people, I have just followed to become Christian,
Father.
– You are Christian, but you are stray. Besides, many young people are
suffering of stray. Some of them are ill because of the celebrity’s idea, others of
28
getting rich. A part of them, not being able to obtain what they want, are becoming
so aggressive, transforming themselves into maniacs or getting to the suicide. Those
who can pass successfully through the youth period, the majority of them are
healing. They resign to the idea of not being able to do more than they can. The
multitude of nonentities that had misted their mind are disappearing, creating a
mature, realist mentality.
– What was you dreaming about, during your youth period? Did your dream
come true?
– Sometimes you aren’t dreaming and…
– You speak about the prison?
– Only a bird that stays in a cell can realize the value of freedom. Only a blind
man can appreciate the value of healthy eyes. You appreciate the bread or the
water, when you are hungry or thirsty.
– I think you aren’t regretting know that you are an abbot?
– No at all! God showed the world what can he make from an ex-prisoner.
– Father, do you have sisters or brothers?
– I had a sister, but…, don’t ask me anymore, son, said the said abbot.
Suddenly, he began to cry. Why is he avoiding this subject? Why did it hurt
him so? What is he hiding from me?
– I’m sorry, Father, I didn’t intend to disturb your pain.
– It’s O.K., son! Let’s get out now. We have the dedication hour soon. It will
be good for you to come. The monks will learn you how to pray.
– No, Father, I’d better go and eat some cherries, after what I’ll read the books
you gave me.
The priest was turning to the church slowly. As I had remarked later, the abbot
was going to the church every time, an hour before the dedication begin. Merely at
sharp hours, the other monks were going, too. The abbot was a saint, while me…
Let it be, I was still feeling good then. The great evil was merely to be close.
It was a nice day. The cherry sun was strongly shining, warming the
pavement’s asphalt. I left my shoes and books down and climbed the tallest cherry
tree. While I was devouring the cherries, I felt a strong sting into my foot. Turning
my eyes down, I saw a snake trailing down the tree’s trunk. While some moments it
got to the ground and entered a hole.
– What are you doing boy, are you crazy? What are looking for, at the
monastery? What was our engagement? You betrayed me, scamp. You’ll be
oppressed for your whole life! The voice was coming from somewhere.
– Is that you, Evil? I asked.
– It’s me, your king.
– You aren’t my king anymore. I will give up at you forever.
– We have an engagement. You’ll have to endure the biggest curse, if you
want to emancipate yourself under my governing.
– I will endure the biggest oppresses. Now leave me alone, Evil! You do
nothing else than bad things.
– That’s why I take all your powers back. You won’t be able to guess the
future anymore, to move the objects with the power of your glance. You won’t be
29
able of absolutely anything without me. The bite you felt some minutes ago, will
maintain only your evilness. You’ll miss me, you, abortion. You’ll ask me in tears
to regain your powers.
Saying these, I didn’t hear his voice anymore.
Ah, son of a man, born from mistake, born to “devour” greedily the
misfortune, for missing the nice moments, for not knowing the quietness and the
respect of those around…
Was it me the single unhappy person from the universe?
I found out from the abbot’s retellings, that the reality was different from the
one I knew. There are millions of unhappy, strayed young men. Thousands of
mischievous people are disheveling their soul and body. Who’s thinking about
them? Who ever tried to understand them? Who ever tried to defend them when
they committed a crime? Who believed that there is another one inside of them.
Who believed that a diabolic power is controlling their moves, leadimg them to
ignoble things, determining them to committee crimes, plunders or another
inhuman actions, which can not be forgiven so easily by the public opinion? Almost
nobody…
Why do the laws of civil code and those of the justice have no exceptions?
They are elaborated by people. But, how can it be explained that there are
exceptions from the nature’s laws, which are created by God, and those made by
people don’t have? Richard Wurmbrand had remarked excellently the nature’s
exceptions, the life being impossible without them. Why do all the substances
contract to cold, but the water doesn’t? It transforms itself into ice and becomes
light. So, instead of getting deeper, it stands above, saving the lives of aquatic
animals. Why are all the hydrogen components being toxic, while the hydrogen
being mixed with oxygen, is not. This component creates the water! Why?
Is the man higher than an eventual, real Creator? Why there is no exception in
case of those unhappy , obeyed by Devilish Spirits people, for those who can’t
control themselves? Why aren’t they interned into a monastery or worst of all into
an asylum, but having a priest there, too? Why should he stay in jail because of a
crime or of another mistake? How is this possible for a magistrate not to understand
that a bad man, brought in an insupportable environment, can become worse?
As Evil is a part from of God, as well the evil was born from the weal. Thou
God is not Evil, Evil is a part of God, he is of a divine nature. Thou the weal is not
evil, the evil is a deviation from the weal. The things, phenomena, the substances
had been always developing from order to disorder, from perfection to abjection,
from pure condition to impure one. Concluding all of these, the bad man appeared
from the good one. Logically, the good man is not evil, but the evil one is good as
well, because at the beginning of his existence, he was perfect. He can turn back
into a good man, but he needs understanding, help, no way compassion. The prison
doesn’t exist for offering favors to society, but disfavors. It gathers the bad people
from the society and after a period it gives us back, only this time being worse than
before, more corrupted, more healed. They revenge the misunderstanding, the of-
handedness, the arrogance of so-called good people. A man who didn’t treat a
malady on time, after a while, he’s going to suffer many complications of other
30
organs. Practically, he is compromised. Every man unhealed of evilness is
compromised. A man who suffers of Syphilis, will be consulted and treated by a
sexology man, a man with heart pains will be consulted and treated by a cardiology
man, a man sick of evilness, pride, hate, revenge, will be not consulted by a
psychologist, either by a psychiatrist, but by a priest, by a spiritual counselor. The
modern psychology is not ready to handle the subtleties of the human character.
The gravity of the psychological condition is provoked and determined by the
moral condition of an individuality. The morality is about church, about every
man’s relationship with the divinity. To a man sick of oral cancer, you can not
administrate insulin. Every medicine was invented for treating a certain illness. So,
the people who are morally affected, need a priest. He knows the secrets and the
specific of a treatment, that can not be offered by the science.
Ah, what happened to me to think about the other? I was trying to understand,
them, the way the abbot did. Nobody could understand me so well, at least my
parents, but…
The abbot told me that he was also dominated by the evil influences of a
demon. Interesting, how could he escape his obedience. When I was asking him
about this, he became suddenly very sad. This fact marked his life forever. I wanted
decisively to find out.
While I was meditating, the silence, mistress of all the monastery places, was
interrupted by the bell’s beats. After some moments, I heard a choir singing and
honoring the God. Was sounding nicely. The voices of the saint minks were
counting the atmosphere in impulses of divine essence. I was so close to God, but
not far away from Evil, too…
– I’d better go in my cell and read from the books, the abbot recommended to
me, I said finally to myself.
There was no sense to think about evil things, cause I was already dominated
by them. Lied on the soft bed, very concentrated at each word, I fell asleep. It
would been wonderful to do the impossible, I mean to wake up during my sleep for
seeing how I sleep. How was I looking alike when I was sleeping? The same as
being awaken? Unhappy…, unalleviated…? But, as I said earlier, being unhappy is
not one hundred percents true. Why? All the people, me too, when are declaring
that we are unhappy, we are not right. Being unhappy, means being partially happy.
The negative was born from the totality of feelings, proprieties and positive
characteristics. So, the unhappiness is an intruder that derives from happiness. It
can’t be a perfect fact, cause it appeared in time, while the happiness has it’s origin
since the world had been started.
– Nick, wake up!
– What happens? I had asked wonderingly.
– You are going to enter the church, after some moments! We’ll start the
prayers.
– What’s the time, Macarye? As I’m sleeping for centuries.
– It’s almost six o’clock. At six sharp, we must be in the saint room. The abbot
is waiting for us.
– OK, let’s go.
31
 I was so hungry that I couldn’t stand on my feet. The only food I had for those
days were the cherries.
– Macarye, I’m hungry as a dog!
– We’ll have supper after the prayer. It’s good to pray, before eating.
It’s been a while, since I hadn’t entered a church. I had the impression that the
cupola is going to fall, the icons will crack, the candles will blow off, the monks
will run because of me. But it wasn’t to be so.
– Nick, sit on the rug, in the middle of the church, the abbot ordered me. Kneel
and turn your face to the altar.
Though it was insupportable warm outside, inside the church was cold. The
somber interior atmosphere was through by some sun lights, which were threading
through the window. Being in the centre of the room, they stopped onto my face.
Suddenly I thought it was a good sign. I had a hope, the last hope, which made me
think I’ll win the demon.
– Close your eyes, said the abbot. You’ll open it when I’ll tell you this.
Said and done. I closed my eyes, waiting impatiently for what’s going to be
next. A strong incense pricked my nasal fossils, numbing my body totally.
Suddenly I had become inoffensive and calm. I was finding myself in a condition of
excessive beatitude. There was a continuously sound throne in my ears, provoked
by those thirty monks. They were getting around me, very slowly, forming a circle.
I was sitting unmoved, listening attentively what happened there. Under the echo of
the same continuous sound, some small, hard steps sere getting closer to me. A
heavy, knaggy hand was letting over my head. The abbot tells me hoarsely:
– Open your eyes.
The monks were singing freely their melody, without interruptions. All of
them were watching me.
– A a a a a a a a…
– This sound was thrilling my heart, cramping my stomach, imposing the idea
of freedom. In a few moments, one of the monks came to the abbot and handled
him a vase with a green liquid.
– Drink, my son! This liquor is the most efficient medicine in your case.
– Father! Give it to me…
I snatched it and drank it all. During this time, all the monks started a strong
prayer. They were pronouncing in a loud voice: “God, you God, celestial Father. Be
indulgent to your servants. Decline you power and compassion above this duck.
Save him from the Demon who’s oppressing him. You are the Almighty Emperor.
If this is what you want, liberate him from this pain.”
The monks pronounced the prayer of nine times, without interruption. All this
time, the abbot was holding on my head a big, golden cross, mumbling something
not understandable.
The liberation feeling, that was dominating my soul, disappeared. Something
evil was growing inside of me.
– You’ll be mine, you’ll be mine, you’ll be mine. I love you, duck man. Is it
me the one who could make you happy… the evil’s voice was sounding.
– Leave me alone, don’t follow me anymore, I cried from all my powers.
32
 – What happened, son? the abbot was inclining above me?
– Go away, codger! Don’t destroy my life. Run away, all of you! Crazy men!
I stood up and began to run in the church. I threw some icons on the floor the
ere where nothing but pieces.
– Cursed men, you are! Detestable! There are no women who love you, that’s
why you’re here. You are a mob of parasites! Get out of the church! All of you!
You don’t deserve to be here!...
Saying these, I was going to the altar. During this time, the monks were
praying stronger for me. But something unpredictable had happened. While I was
opening the altar’s doors, I fell down, as a dead man.

***

– We should call a doctor, someone said.

– No, I have a lot of such cases. Nobody had died yet, from those who passed
through this church. The majority of them faint, coming to life then.
– But, Saint Father, he is staying unmoved for two days!
– Don’t worry. He is breathing.
– Will he be coming to life? Probably, he’s in coma.
– I don’t think so. I have the impression he’s sleeping and will revive soon. He
seems to be a very strong boy. He won’t die so easily. I know the psychology, the
power and destination of those mischievous beings. I was one of them, during ten
years, he pronounced in a weak voice.
When I opened my eyes, the abbot and one of the monks were sitting on the
chairs, watching me. As I heard, I was sleeping for two days. I thought a moment
passed. Their discussion intrigued me a lot, so I closed my eyes to listen to their
dialog.
– Father, we had never discussed about this. I would like o know how did you
escape from the Evil’s obedience? asked the monk very curiously.
– After more anguishes and sins, son! I was in the jail when I was liberated
definitively by the Beast.
– Did you really see the Evil, in bones and meat?
– Yes, Samuel! I saw him. And he doesn’t look so as the people are thinking,
thou he appears so, sometimes.
– How does he look like, Father?
– Betimes, he has the look of a hairy, cuckold beast, having a cattish, vulgar
vocabulary. But in general, he appears as a light. The Evil is beautiful. He was the
most handsome angel of the sky. Being bored of the sky’s immensity an of the
quietness that dominated there, he wanted to come down on the earth, accompanied
by his subordinate angels.
– I know, Father. They came to make couples with the terrestrial women.
– Son, I think the peoples’ cuss comes from here certainly. May be this is the
cause I’ve been suffering from.
33
 – But, why? Father?
– Lucifer and his angels, coupling with the terrestrial women, gave birth to
new beings. I will tell you some confidences you should tell nobody. No priest or
monk would ever agree with me. I could even be accused of heresy. That’s why I
ask you to keep this secret, said the abbot almost whispering.
– I promises, Father! I won’t tell anyone.
– After the women defiled themselves with the angels, they gave birth to giant
men.
– It is known that the giants were sank by the flood’s waters…
– The Bible mentions their existence after the flood, too. David fought with the
Goliat giant!
– That’s true, Father, approved the young man.
– Another question is the one that the Bible doesn’t specify concretely, if there
were born only giants or normal children, too. If there were normal children, too,
then my assumption can’t be contested even by the most redoubtable exegete,
whispered the abbot hesitatingly.
– What assumption?
– The conclusion is that a lot of people are having half of divine origin and half
of demonic origin. The God’s people were hybridized by the direct Evil’s
intervention. So, many of us, me inclusively, are the legitimate successors of God,
but of the Lucifer as well. What honor!
– You made a revelation, Father!
– I don’t know what I’ve done, but I’m more interested when I’m thinking at
the unhappy two-half people. Their whole life is a fight, different from the others.
The Creator and the Evil as well have an equilibrium of forces on the two-half men.
They will be morally broken-hearted. This is where the foolhardiness of the
committed actions starts from. They are morally-weak and soul-exhausted, that’s
why they are being dominated. Their disadvantage is the one of being subdued by
the Evil, firstly. That, who shows himself of being stronger, after many efforts, he
can become a child of God. Only then, he can assure himself a quite life, from the
spiritual point of view.
– But, what does it happen to the people with pure evil blood? It means that a
couple of two-half persons will give birth to a child of the same origin? asked
Samuel.
– I can say they won’t have the chance of being divinize. They will die for
sure, remaining the children of Evil, answered the abbot.
“What category they are belonging to?” I was asking myself confusedly.” I had
never felt the God’s hand in my life. Ah, no! It’s impossible to have only pure evil
blood. God, save me! I don’t want to get to inferno,” I pronounced to me mentally.
It was for the first time I’ve asked God’s intervention, but even then, I did it
mentally. I wanted no way to let them know about the discussion I heard. What was
fermenting me most was – how dears the abbot to contest some nebulosity? Wasn’t
he who assigned that Bible is perfect, as well as God is? Didn’t he say that it is the
abstract look of God, the concretized one? Incredible! He had also have suspicions
about the veracity of the biblical retellings.
34
 – Father, said the monk, could you tell me the cause you stayed in the jail?
– Only God knows, and that’s it. I didn’t tell you and I won’t ever do it, the
abbot was getting more alarmed. The truth about my past is in the coffer from the
library. I’ve been telling you not only once, if anyone of you would ever try to open
it, he’ll die. He’ll get the sky’s courses.
– Father, I had never intended to find your life secret, without having the
agreement of Your Saint.
– There are things better not to be known. Knowing some secrets of a person,
we can hate her. I want you to love me the way I do.
– You are right, Father. The present is so nice, that it would need no change.
– The future will be also present. In my opinion, for being able to appreciate
rightly the present’s beauty in the future, is necessary to keep this present inside of
us for the future.
– Father, you interpret the things so nicely!
– Son, the environment I was living in for a part of my life, was ugly and
baneful. Certainly there, I started to value the beauty.
While they were discussing about the values of beauty and ugliness, I was glad
I found out a mystery. The denouement oh the bizarre abbot’s past, was lying in the
coffer. As quicker I would try to open the coffer, I would find out what was the
priest hiding so cautiously, not to be known by anyone. For realizing my plan, I
needed the keys from the library. But, it wouldn’t been taking me so long to take it.
I was very stiff and I wanted to change the position I was fixed on the bed.
– Father, look, he’s reviving! It was the first move for the last couple of days.
– Nick, can you hear me? Exclaimed the Father impatiently.
– Who’s there? I asked sleepy, as I was getting up even the moment he called
me.
– Get up, boy, you are sleeping for two days. You must eat, or else you’ll die.
Get up, son, we’ve been watching you continuously. Only now you show you are
alive.
I opened my eyes and looked embarrassed at the Samuel and at the abbot, too.
– Forgive me, please for the last night incident?
– From the night before last night, son, the abbot corrected me.
– I was not able to control myself. I think it was because of the drinking you
gave me. I promise you to maintain my equilibrium in any situation. I hope it won’t
repeat anymore, I said excitedly.
– Don’t promise anything, son, You won’t be able to control yourself, as long
you are governed by someone else. That was the first scene, the demon powers
manifested in, but not the last. That’s why would be better not to hurry in making
promises.
– But I’m so ashamed, I could enter the ground.
– You have no fault. You are a human being, manipulated completely by the
Evil. Even if you passed though the moments you couldn’t control yourself and
brought prejudices to the church, I would administrate that drinking one my time. It
must liberate you from Evil, forever.

35
 – But, Father, don’t you have another cure? I’m afraid of passing again
through the mussing period. I don’t want to feel that nigh condition anymore.
– I won’t be able to heal you else. This is the only cure we are disposing right
now.
– But, why should I drink this cure?! I understood the Evil didn’t nestle inside
of me. He is governing my moves somewhere being close to me, not from the
interior. He tells me we are almost brothers. Probably, you should find another way
of healing, I suggested to the abbot.
– Son, do you think you should feel better during the treatment? No how.
Every drugs user passes through infernal oppresses not when he uses drugs, but
during the out of intoxication period.
– It means I’m as a drug?
– Don’t worry. It’s only a comparison. For a definitive healing, you should
suffer the same way. The drugs users aren’t less unhappy than you are. You’ll be
healthy again, in not more than two weeks, he was calming me. You must resist, it’s
all we wait from you.
– O.K., I agree to drink the medicine, as many times as will be necessary.
– I like your attitude now. You look more sure. Now, let’s go to meal. Look,
you are thinner already. Your eyes are gone deeper, but there’s a saying, the man’s
exterior can duffer from a day to another, while his interior remains the same for
the entire life. Of course, there are exceptions.
I ate so good in the atmosphere of those thirty monks. In comparison to my
mother, they were preparing some unusual food, which calling was unknown to me.
What made me totally glad, was the fact that every monk was looking straightly to
his plate and nobody dared to ask me something or even to watch me. It was
admirable that during the meal, nobody spoke a word, only the spoons’ touch of the
plate, was smashing the quiet.
Soon, there was almost a week I was there. It was on Sunday morning. The
monks told me to go with them to the mesa.
– Nick, dress yourself nicely. We have numerous guests on Sunday.
– What kind of guests?
– The parishioners are coming, son! They are coming to pray, come at the
church service, the abbot explained to me.
There were really many people. A lot of cars were parked in front of the
monastery. Men, women, boys and girls were straighten to the dedication bower. I
went there, too. I entered very shy, as all the people were watching me. It only
seemed to be so. The parishioners were watching the monks lowly, who were
taking care of the perfect spending of the church service. I was feeling there was
not my place, but I was still sitting there. I didn’t want to disappoint the monks one
more time. Being bored of listening the preachment, I threw my glance among the
people.
– Wow, wow, what a beautiful girl!
She was really very nice. Her fair hair was gliding easily on her back. I
couldn’t admire it completely, because of a wimple. Her big, black eyes were

36
hitting me through their innocence and clearness. And she was only some metres
away from me. I wanted to eat her.
“Calm down, Nick,” I spoke to myself. “You are in a church…”
Her tempting breasts made her more charming. Her thighs hidden under the
long, black skirt, were intriguing me a lot. She was perfect. A real goddess. I had
never met such a girl, who could make my heart beat so strongly. I should catch
her. But how?
My thought was axle now on the eventual courage of getting close to her, close
to the most beautiful girl from the church. The monks’ singing didn’t influence me
anymore, cause my glance and mind were straighten totally to that missy. I had no
reason to stay in the church anymore, so I went out to think about the girl who stole
my minds.
“It’s the first time I am attracted by a girl. The first time I want to have a lady
love!”, I was ascertaining mentally. “I must not lose the chance of making her my
girlfriend. I am obligated. Probably, the God of the people showed her to me. I
won’t be shy anymore and I’ll talk to her.
While I was thinking at wanted and unwanted things, I heard a voice that
surprised me.
– Boy, are you somewhere from here?
– Me? I asked wonderingly. No, I’m quite from the centre of the country, but I
came here for a period of time.
– I see you for the first time coming at the church service.
– Are you frequenting the church often?
– Yes, I am a faithful visitor of this sanctuary. I’m coming for more years with
my parents, Sunday by Sunday.
– What is your name?
– I am Maria. And you?
– Nick. Nice to meet you, missy!
I don’t know even today, may be the happening, or the Providence wanted me
to know that girl. Our meeting was going to change my attitude toward the world,
toward the events, toward the women. Till than, I had a wrong conception about the
women and especially about their role in the society, in the men’s life.
– Are you living far from the monastery?
– Some km away from here, ten minutes by car.
– Extraordinary! I exclaimed happily.
– But why are you asking me?
– Nothing, just asking … I look at you and tell you are no more than seventeen
years old. Am I right?
– No, I am eighteen years old. I am grown-up already, the girl concretized.
– I’m not younger, too.
– I understood it, immediately I saw you. If it is not a secret, can you tell me
what are you doing here?
– Yes, yes, sure, I’ve rushed for explaining. I am a close relative of a monk and
I came to rest for a period. It’s so fine here.
– Really, will you stay more?
37
 – I think two weeks more.
– Could I come and see you tomorrow?
The girl’s proposal surprised me pleasantly.
– Of course, Maria. I’ll wait you with pleasure. You seem to be such a good
being! It will hurt me a lot if there won’t be any possibility to see you again, I said
smiling. I wouldn’t like her to understand me seriously.
– Don’t worry, I’ll come to you often, because I have a plenty of time. More
than that, I live not far from here. I’ll come tomorrow, at twelve o’clock, wait me. I
enter the monastery now. I don’t want my parents to be suspicious.
– OK, go Maria! I’ve told her full of thank.
Remaining alone, I ran enthusiastically deep in the forest, near the monastery,
for fixing my thoughts. Now, everything seems to be different: the forest is greener
and denser, the birds’ trill – more intensive than the last day, the sky – bright, it
seemed to be bluer and further from the earth, as usually. Everything seemed to be
different. During those minutes of ecstasy, I’ve understood that you can’t ever
change the world the way you want. There is a much simple solution. Try to
produce a little change inside of you, and you’ll notice the way the world is
changing.
Being loll against an oak trunk and watching high in the sky, I felt how the
celestial beatitude is flooding my beings with invisible lights, but perceptible, I’ve
been thinking I am not a mischievous, a miserable anymore, contrary, the meeting
with Maria opened my eyes to a horizon I haven’t known yet, but which could be
crucial in my future life. Why should I decline to the desolate medium of life if it’s
so nice here where I’m finding now. Why is the life so variable? Why there are
altitudes and holes? Why are we losing the quit and satisfaction, once obtaining the
conscience? Are all the people oppressed by this interior animal – the conscience?
Do the cannibals or the vampires have atonements? I don’t think so. The conscience
is being educate, for sure. If the conscience would have been divine, the cannibals
had had it ,too. Or may be they aren’t created by God? Less probably. The
conscience seems to be proper only to the civilizations which adept great religions,
while the wilds who are dedicating to the totems, had never percept the need of
such a virtue?! Practically, there would be impossible for a man to give up to an
ideology, religion, custom etc. All we are accumulating during our life complicates
our destiny more. As more you know, as more strange influences you got, as more
you are exposed to the rescue of facing the nescience. This would be the factor that
will offer you the certitude of never being wrong, never injuring someone’s rights,
not being stupid, uneducated, out of motivation. The nescience makes you think
your entire life, that you are innocent, guileless. That’s why we are feeling
sometimes the need of not knowing what we already know. So, the nescience had
it’s advantages, but it is disadvantaged because it isn’t science. Both science and
nescience make us think contradictory. Why do I not know what others know? Why
do I know what I wouldn’t better know? Would I fight the Evil, if I hadn’t been
knowing Him? Would I want to escape from Evil, if I hadn’t heard about God?
Never. That’s why every evil thing offers some advantages. If I wouldn’t been
mischievous I hadn’t come to the monastery, if I wouldn’t come to monastery, I
38
hadn’t met Maria, if I wouldn’t met Maria, I hadn’t ever thought at the conscience’s
sense and nonsense. I wouldn’t have felt the ecstasy, the infinite pleasure, the
supreme satisfaction, that comes somewhere from the sky, or may be from
somewhere else.
That Sunday had ended unnoticeably. The night came also, but it ended, too,
and it was day again. My eyes were straighten to the narrow country road, that was
winding through the forests and mounds, hoping that the girl who stole my heart,
will appear from a minute to another. Though she came, as we had established – in
the afternoon. When I heard the noise provoked by the a car’s engine, I understood
she’s coming. For not making the monks suspicious, I decided to meet her. Seeing
me, Maria stopped the car suddenly, got out and jumped in my arms.
– Hi, Nick, sometimes a day seems to be longer than a year.
– It’s true, Maria, I had the impression I won’t ever get to this moment, I said
happily.
– I feel like I know you for a entire life, Nick, I coupled on you suddenly, as
you’ve been charming me.
– I’m a magician, Maria. I can charm and steal the hearts of the beautiful girls.
– Really? If I had known whom I’m speaking with…
– Well, you know now. But would you be able to hurt my soul?
– We’ll see, ha, ha, ha…
A warm summer breeze was spoiling our cheeks, red of enthusiasm and
emotions. The sun was straining a light though the dense foliage, light that was
blinding our eyes, which were watching each other mutually. We were feeling
happy, thanked of life, of this single chance to meet each other, in a place we would
never hope for such a wonder to come true.
– Maria! I exclaimed, suppressing the quiet that was instituting around us. It’s
for the first time I have such feelings for a girl.
– I think it’s the last time, too, joked she, smiling.
– Please, don’t punish me with such a curse. It’s too hard!
– Are you serious, Nicky. It’s not enough for you to have a girl only? Is there
in this world a girl you would like more ?
– No, Maria, no!
– While prating, we were holding hands each other, smiling, even kissing, I
don’t know how. I was the happiest man in the world, my heels were burning of
happiness. I was considering myself a true man, a real Don Juan, who stole the
heart of an extraordinary beautiful girl. She was dressed so lax, that she was
provoking me moment after moment. I was hardly resisting not to embrace her and
never let go. Her black eyes, with long eyelashes, were hidden under her big boater.
The fair hair was hanging disheveled and scattered on her gentle back. Her thighs
were hidden by the aprons of the mellowed peak’s color and made her beauty more
obviously. A white T-shirt was hanging freely on her prominent chest,
remembering a image of a sculpture, created by a renowned artist from the middle
age. Oh, God! She was perfect, she was so beautiful, that I couldn’t ever imagine to
lose her.
– Nick, do you want to walk by car?
39
 – Why not, Maria!
– Let’s go to the main road, we’ll be able to develop a sufficient high speed
there.
– I would also like to drive, but it’s quite difficult for me…
– I will learn you. It’s very simple!
– Thank you, you are very amiable!
– The appearances can be deceptive, she smiled.
– Not therein, I replied.
Getting to the main street, Maria started to run the car, as all the world seemed
to be hers. The cold, but pleasant air was threading through the lateral car’s
windows, forming because of the excessive speed. The music spread by the boxes
was so laud, we couldn’t even listen to each other. The clear sky, with no clouds,
was emanating only good mood and wish of smiling.
Suddenly, Maria stopped at the border of the road, turned the music to
minimum and told me:
– Come and hold the steering wheel!
– Maria, we are on a national road, it’s dangerous!
– Don’t worry, the traffic is almost inexistent on this side of road. Only the
inhabitants from close villages are circulating here. It’s a connection road to the
main street. Come, hold the steering wheel.
Sitting in front of the steering wheel, I was feeling a profound pressure.
– Push the clutch.
– OK! I pushed it, I said very excited.
– Now put in the first speed and droop slowly the clutch.
– I did it, too.
– Now push the accelerator.
– Super, it moved from the place
– Change in the second speed, exactly the same way, only this time you’ll take
the foot of the clutch, immediately you did the speed change.
Maria seemed to be a perfect motorist. I liked her, more and more. I really had
what to learn from her. We walked for a while that day and when the evening was
almost coming, we came back to the monastery. We stayed together until the
nightfall was down. After a long kiss and a tight embracement, we separated for
meeting the next day, at twelve o’clock, in the same place.
At the entrance in the monastery’s yard, the abbot was waiting for me,
unthankfully.
– What’s going on, Nick? Did you have a relation with that libertine?
– She is not a libertine, Father. She is an angel!
– I can appreciate a person from the first glance.
– You didn’t even see her, Father!
– I caught you kissing, said the abbot, suspiring hardly. I think you’ll get rid of
her once and forever. She is a real libertine. Why are keeping such beings on the
Earth, God? Now go and eat, Nick. Macarye and Samuel are waiting for you.
You’ll go to bed then, but don’t forget to pray firstly.
– OK, Father, I’ll do as you say, good night.
40
 – Quite sleep, boy.
After sharing some words with the young monks, and eating a little, I went to
bed. What’s for should I pray, won’t I sleep quietly without it? But, who told the
abbot that the girl of my dreams is a libertine. I think this time he went too far. But,
what if he was right? I’d better discuss with her. She’ll be indignant of such
questions, but I don’t have another solution. I need a pure, innocent girl.
Fermenting my mind with a lot of such questions, I got asleep.
The next day, I walked up very calm. Even if I didn’t pray, I slept quite well, I
even saw Maria in my dream.
– Nick, I heard a call from the other side of the door, wake up! The praying
hour almost starts. Today, we are going to pass the second stage of the treatment,
Macarye announced me.
– I’m coming immediately, I answered precipitately.
I had a quite hard week. Once in two days, during the entire week, I should go
at the “treatment”, in the church. Sometimes, I was weary of that atmosphere, in
other days I was crazy in love with it. My condition was ameliorating visibly and
the priest even announced me, telling that I need some days more and I’ll go home
healthy. But, I didn’t want to leave anymore, because I couldn’t leave a moment,
without the most beautiful girl in the world, Maria.

***

Thou the week was not so easy, it came to the end, finally. Day by day, when I
was meeting Maria, I was oppressed by the thought to find more about her past.
But, I couldn’t dare to ask her anything, cause I would been looking ridiculously.
She would been considering me a real retardate. That’s why, till the next Monday, I
had been avoiding this subject, so that on Tuesday, not being able to keep the
disappointment inside of me, I asked her?
– Maria, we are meeting daily, for more than a week since we had known each
other. We’ve been spooking about a lot of things, we are very close each to another,
that would be very hard for us to be separated, but we never discussed about a very
important subject in a relationship.
– And what didn’t we talk about? she asked offhand.
– I think you are enough mature to realize this!
– I have no idea what are you referring at?
– OK! I tell you if you’ll listen to me till the end.
– OK, I’ll hush, tell me! she exclaimed impatiently.
– I know that is not good to be influenced by the others, during your life,
especially speaking about the private life. Though, there is someone who imposed
me his authority. He could strain in my mind some affirmations, which are making
me to have doubts about some regards.
– For example?
– Did you ever make love to a man?
41
 – What are you talking about? she asked irately.
– Don’t get upset? it’s just a question and I’m not imposing you to answer me.
– If I’ll answer “no”, you believe me?
– I don’t know!
– If I’ll assert it, you leave me for sure…
– Don’t be so sure. I wouldn’t be able to accept a less favorable past to steal
the possibility for leaving a beautiful future.
– Then I will be honest. I would be very glad if you trust me fully. I have no
interest to lie you.
– I trust you fully, my beauty.
– I am virgin.
– Extraordinary! I knew it, but he…
– Whom were you talking about me?
– To nobody, Maria.
– Be honest, the way I was. It would be very shameful for you to discuss our
intimacy with someone.
– Our intimacy? I’ve been asking enthusiastically.
– I am yours. Isn’t so?
– You’re right, Maria. We belong each other forever.
– So, whom were you talking about me? To the abbot perhaps?
– Exactly, to him.
– How do you think, a man who lived in loneliness, will he be happy for the
other’s happiness? Never. The monks, in their holiness, had always dreamed for a
moment of pleasure. They are people, too, they have eyes, souls, wishes… How can
you be sure they aren’t jealous, invidious on you?
– Is it possible? May be the abbot-monk was perplexed, when he saw the nice
being I’m meeting with.
– The human soul and body, were created by such a manner, so that, they are
running after pleasures, during their entire life. It’s a necessity, even the monks
can’t get rid of, the monks who refrained their wishes, the whole life.
– You’re right, Maria. Turning me against you, the abbot hopped he will set as
apart. He will better like to see me a loner, as he is, than to feed my soul with the
love of a nice woman, as you are.
– Starting with today, I advice you not to speak to him about our relationship.
This will create disadvantages both of us.
– I agree, Maria, I spoke to her, firmly.
– How do you think, becoming a monk is a vocation, or a last chance for the
others? Maria asked meditatively.
– To be sincere, I don’t know for sure, but I could also add something. Some
people have a lot of sins, so that they need a place, where they could purify
themselves. There isn’t a better niche than monastery. After they got the absolute
forgiveness from the God, they feel the need to come back to world, but, as it is
known, being a monk, practically it’s impossible to change their option.
– But what can you say about those who come in the monasteries, since their
childhood. What kind of sins did they committed?
42
 – Since their childhood, some of them feel an inferiority complex in
comparison to those around them. Thinking they won’t be able to survive and
succeed in the human medium, they are retiring in the monasteries. But, good for
them! I think they are making a good choice.
– Why?
– From a simple recluse, they are buildings careers, becoming great priests etc.
– It’s true. But is it good to be invidious on others?
– They are people, too. We aren’t constrained by anyone, we have no
engagement, while they…
– That’s why they should be saint. How they are considering to be!
– As I know, nobody can be perfect. Everyone wants to have this quality.
– Let be the way you say and think about us!
– Really, Maria, everybody thinks of himself. Why should we think about
them? Everyone to his destiny. It’s enough for me as I suffered till now…, I
stopped suddenly, realizing that I should better hush.
– Because of whom?
– Maria, I’ll tell you later, I don’t think it matters so much, as to steal from our
nice moments and tell you about all the bizarre things I’ve been passing through.
– Nick, how long are you going to stay here?
– I don’t think I’ll stay too long. I should leave after a while.
– And what about our relation? I hope you won’t forget me immediately you
leave?
– The world is small, Maria, even if it seems to be so big. Don’t worry, we’ll
see each other enough often, I was consoling her.
– I believe you, Nick… Especially that I like you so much…, she pronounced
in a gentle voice, so that I would have been ready to listen her continuously. I won’t
ever think about anyone else, excepting you.
– Me too, Maria. If you would know how much I love you!
Hearing this words, Maria jumped in my arms and began to cry. Adolescent
love, when everything seems to be so nice and simple, when you seeing nothing
else than a person or a thing and you think there is nothing more beautiful. But the
life is almost starting and the horizon is almost opening in front of us. The narrow
that seems to be imperturbable acquires immeasurable proportions and we,
teenagers, wandering through this endless, are trying desperately to find a sense of
all. As usually, we are facing uncountable failures, until the success is hitting us.
– Maria, do you want our feelings to become profounder and to love much
more each other?
– Isn’t sufficiently what we are feeling one to each other?
– I didn’t mean that. Our relation can be completed with some normal details.
One day, you’ll agree.
– Nick, I understand what you want to say. The principle I had ever wanted to
follow was to get married being a virgin, but love is stronger and more valuable
than principles. I would like to make love to you in the day of your leaving. I would
like to keep in our memory the feeling of an unfulfilled love, that will always ask

43
for being fed again. I will always think of you and you’ll make all the possible to
see me as often as you can.
– Did you arrange everything, Maria!
– The women are more emotive than men. While the men think only about the
moment pleasure, the women want to be sure of a ulterior pleasure and happiness.
– I’m also thinking about our future.
– The men give up much easier than women. The fall in the net of the first
woman, who pay them attention, while the women are more prudent, for not falling
in the men’ catchers. They have much more profound feelings, keeping them more
intact and unshaken.
– You’re injuring me, Maria!
– I’m not speaking about you, now!
– But I am a man, as all the others!
– OK, there are exceptions and you are one of them.
– You should always trust me. I am not someone who goes where the wind
blows. I know what I want, I want you, only you, I won’t ever need someone else.
Telling these, I embraced her and kissed her sweetly.
While I was kissing her clear forehead, the abbot had appeared as from the
ground, next to us:
– Nick, let’s go to the monastery, I have something to speak to you.
– OK, Father, only a moment, to say good buy to Maria.
– No, I’m leaving right now, she said. Going to the car, she whispered me
she’ll come tomorrow, at twelve o’clock.
– Nick, I told you she is an impertinent. Why aren’t you leaving her once and
for ever. Look in her eyes and you’ll see how catty and guilty she is.
– Father, I don’t know what to do.
– I told you what you should do, there is no other solution.
– You know, even if she’s the way you say, it doesn’t scare me at all.
– But she is a sinner!
– Didn’t you remark her coming to the church weekly, accompanied by her
mother and father? More than that, it’s not such a big sin you say she does it.
– Saint God! Boy, this is a huge sin!
– As I know, being a harlot, is the single carnal sin. And we, people, are saved
with the Spirit, no how with the body. We must be attentive what we are thinking,
saying, I mean to be prudent with the things about the spirit and not about the body.
– Oh, boy, you are so obdurate. I want to tell you that tomorrow, or the day
after tomorrow, you could go home perfectly health. Are you still feeling the Evil’s
power?
– I don’t feel anything, Father.
– Did you see how efficient is my cure?
– Yes, Father, you saved me from that insupportable crucible. My behavior
was the same as of a crazy man. Finally, even my parents weren’t bearing me
anymore, but everything is over…

44
 – We healed a lot of teenagers. You are not the first one. There are many
mischievous people coming to us annually, of different ages, but the majority of
them are young. This is the most predisposed category to this tragedy.
– Father, how do you think, could the Evil appear in my life again? How can
you assure me, that he won’t be oppressed anymore?
– Almost half of those healed, after a while are being oppressed again, but I
liberate them every time. I am a real enemy for the demons. The are deadly scared
of me! the abbot was boasting, smoothing his grey beard. Till than, will go to the
kitchen. The boys prepared something very delicious. After eating, we’ll go to the
library. I want to give you something else to read.
– With pleasure, Father. I want to read something about theology!
– As I see you being a monk after a while, the same as we are. I’m praying
daily for this.
– Father, I like another way of life. I can’t be static.
– This isn’t a problem. You’ll get used to be the way we are.
– We’ll see.
– The time will show us a lot of things, said the abbot thankfully. Do you hear
the nice birds’ trill, see how wonderful is the sunset? Do you feel the nature’s
fragrance? I hadn’t seen and felt it for thirty years. You are free, so benefit of this.
– I hope I will be free for my entire life.
– We can’t be sure of what the future is reserving us.
After we ate, we went to the library. The same cadaverous atmosphere was
dominating there, giving you the impression of finding yourself in a place, where
nothing moves, everything died and there is an eternal pause. The first thing I had
noticed, was that little sword I’ve been seeing the last time. Then, my glance
stopped over the coffer, I’ve been telling you earlier. Everything looked intact.
I should discover the abbot’s secret, that day. “He won’t get rid of me so easy”,
I told to me happily.
After more than an hour, while I skimmed the library’s books, the abbot said
he should go to the evening prayer.
– Boy, stay here and read, when you’ll go to bed, lock the door and bring me
the keys.
– Of course, Father, I’ll do as you say.
– Don’t you even dare to touch the coffer, he prevented me in a grave voce.
– I can’t even think to do something like that. This thought is far away from
me. I will just read.
– OK, boy, I’m leaving.
I was alone in the library, having the coffer in my obedience. It was the
opportune moment for acting. I didn’t want to lose the chance of finding out the
past of a man who avoids a confession. No matter the curse the abbot had been
throwing on that coffer, I was determined to open it. I wasn’t so superstitious that to
be afraid of a curse. While thinking of what I was going to do, I felt like I was
rounded by a curtain of thick smoke.
Suddenly, a quite strong voice, ordered me:
– Son, open the coffer.
45
 For a moment, my soul was anaesthetized by a evil power, so that I had
answered affirmatively.
– Immediately, master. I’m opening it. It’s time to destroy this dreadful abbot.
– Don’t be thanked with this only. Take the little sword and go during the
night, and kill him. He is my enemy and yours, too.
– I’ll do the way you say, Evil. Don’t have any doubts.
– Be attentive when you’ll hide it in your room. Be careful for not observing
the monks, the lack of this sword. Sink it’s gold in the abbot’s blood. He must die
today, added the Evil in a horror voice.
After telling me these, the smoke disappeared. There were me and the books
again. The evil’s advice was there, too. My mind was sailing. An inexplicable
lethargy was leading me only to do evil things. I had transformed myself from a
normal man with a healthy ration, into a monster who wants to see the blood
flowing, crying eyes, failed destinies, spread hopes. Causing all that harm, it
seemed to me as I was following a noble, meritorious goal. I couldn’t differ the
good facts and the evil ones. All the evil seemed to me good. For ending what I’ve
started, I decided to verify all the keys until I’ll find the right one for my coffer.
After trying eight keys, the ninth one was just right for the lock. The hardest thing
was already done. I had only to take up the lid and look inside of it.
Suddenly, I felt a shame for the abbot, coming somewhere from my interior. It
was like a profound atonement, for violating someone’s private life, but, the same
time, I was very impatient to discover the coffer’s content.
I had took up the lid cautiously. Looking inside of it, I was totally
disappointed. There were some stones, only.
– I’m sure he didn’t put only stones. There must be something else under them:
may be precious metals, notes, retellings about his life.
Stones of different sizes and shapes were flying all over the room, hoping to
find the real thesaurus. While I was catching the stones, I felt suddenly, something
metal, that had immobilized my hand inside the coffer. I cried loudly and pulled out
the hand from the little stones. My fingers were caught in a rat-trap. The pain was
spreading quickly through my entire body. I couldn’t bear it anymore, it was awful.
After more desperate efforts, I could liberate my hand from the catcher’s squeeze.
From a small injury, there was a red thread of warm blood flushing. An
inexplicable thirst began to oppress my soul, a pleasant thirst, uncontrolled, a thirst
of blood. I put my mouth on the fingers’ crack and began to devour the thread that
was coming from my own body. I had the impression that I consummate myself,
but I liked it. My clothes were full of blood, the face as well, and the hands, and the
floor, and the coffer, ant the table both with the Bible from the middle of the
church. If you would have seen, you had the impression of being a massacre there.
That atmosphere wasn’t affecting me at all, contrary, it made me smile as a demon,
having a snake glance, out of any human feelings. I was transformed totally, as a
real demon, dressed in a man skin. The pain disappeared. That injury gave me a
feeling of happiness, bigger than the human one. While a moment, I thought that
the masochists are the Evil’s people. Only He could give you the pleasure feeling,
while torturing your own body. What was the Jesus Christ feeling when he rioted
46
benevolently in the sufferance. May be the masochism is a motivated practice?
How can we be sure that there doesn’t exist an infinite pleasure, after that natural
pain? The masochists prefer to live extremely their life. They aren’t limiting to a
moderate way of living. Having all, or having nothing. Probably they discovered
the ecstasy, behind the sufferance. What can it be there behind the ecstasy? Is there
something that can not be concept by the human being? That situation is probably
much superior to the human mentality.
– Extraordinary, the abbot is a dement and a half. How could I read his past
through the stones? He is really crazy, ha, ha, ha! Better to throw them down and to
thunderhead the abbot and his herd of beards, with the coffer, ha, ha?
Turning the coffer down, I noticed that there was a small paper falling down
through the stones, being paltry written, but readable.
– Wow! This is his secret. I found it. I found it. I am a hero.
Throwing the coffer down, I bended to take the foil and began to read
satirized:
– “I was born out of luck. I had been passing though unhappy happenings since
my childhood. I killed my parents and my little sisters. I’ve been in prison for more
than half of my life. I was mischievous, the evil had ravened after me for years, but
I chased him away, showing supernatural efforts. I passed the last stage of the fight
that Evil imposed me. Almost nobody passes it, I won. I committed very grave
mistakes, but God forgave me. He was patient to me, but I made myself orphan. I
would have wanted so much to have parents, whom I could talk to, listen to their
advice, to love them.”
– A-ha-a! you, buster, you killed people? Now, it’s your turn to die and I will
be your hangman. Your end is very close, beard man you are. You lived enough.
The death is crying after you, grey man.
I didn’t read till the end, because I was getting more furious. I threw the foil,
somewhere down, caught the little sword from the table and went to my room. I
locked my door, for no monk to get in. I needed quit, loneliness for being able to
structure the plan of monk’s assassination.
– But I won’t stop killing only him. During a night, I can destroy all these men
in black redingotes and with long beard.
There was night all over the monastery, a dreadful darkness was installing
comfortable. In more than half an hour, strong thunders began to break the night’s
silence. Huge lights were furrowing the air with their killing sparkle. A whirlwind,
the same as a hurricane, began to move the trees from the next forest, trying to pull
them out of the roots. There branches were breaking, the animals of the forest were
roaring scarily and big, dense drops were hitting strongly into the windows and the
monastery’s roof. It was a similar night to that one, when I went firstly to the Evil’s
altar. I was feeling myself being at the start of my activity, as the Evil’s improver.
In comparison to this time, then, Evil gave me amazing forces.
Being in the cell, I’ve stayed for hours, with the ear close to the door, watching
every monks’ move. I was waiting them to come and knock at my door, to call me,
to pray, but there was happening nothing. Only sometimes, there was hearing a
quick but quite walk, out from the other side of the door. The darkness that was
47
dominating the room’s interior, was penetrated sometimes, by the light’s sparkles,
making the little sword to bright, as a sun light. There was going to be a massacre,
after some hours. My goal was simple: to kill all of them and to become the
monastery’s master. The Evil would have been keeping his promise and give me
authority in this world.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t thinking at the consequences, there were going to be,
after the stupid things, I intended to do during the night. I was thinking only at the
moment satisfaction I was going to have. I was imagining how I taste the blood of
every defunct, trying to determine whose blood is better. That was the top moment
of my craziness and brainless. That moments, I wasn’t controlling even one percent
of my body and soul. I was controlled as a marionette. I couldn’t enterprise
anything without being led by the forte hand, from the exterior, to the abominable
goal.
Finally, when the midnight was close, I said to myself: “It’s time to get out and
to act. The fun is almost beginning. I’ll kill the abbot, firstly.”
My weakness and stupidity were described by the fact that I asked myself:
“What evil did the monks cause me and what weal did the Evil give me?” When
you are led by the hell’s spirit, you can see the things only from a point of view.
You aren’t able to differentiate anymore the advantages and disadvantages.
Everything is uniform in your eyes, finally…
There was an unusual quit, dominating out of the other side of the door. It
looked all the monks were sleeping. Stepping quietly, through the room’s obscurity,
I came close to the table, caught the little golden sword and prudently, got out in the
hall. It was as quite as in a cemetery. Often, a thunder was making me shake. There
was still raining outside. There was an intense incense in the hall, coming
somewhere from a cell. It was bothering me, but couldn’t stop me from the way I
was going to. A cadenced, but subtle scratch , was accompanying my steps,
straighten to the abbot’s room. I fixed my ear on the red wood door and listened
attentively if there were hearing any moves. It was quit, but my heart was beating as
a crazy. Probably, the impatience of seeing the blood flowing from the abbot’s
body, made it beat irregularly and uncontrolled. In a slow move, I pushed the door
handle and opened it. There was as dark as everywhere in the building. We were
staying face to face. There were just two of us, me armed, while the abbot was
sleeping somewhere in his bed. He had no chance. What was he dreaming about,
that moment? Wasn’t he dreaming his end? He had only some minutes to live more,
or even less. It was all depending of my moves. Poor abbot, if he would knew what
was my soul hiding, he wouldn’t go to bed, he would have ran, would have hidden
in the church’s altar. But, having no idea about my actions, he came benevolently to
the butcher. He passed through so many conditions, during his entire life…, so that
now to be killed by a child as I was. It’s ridiculous…but not unrealizable! I think it
was meant to be so. More than that, he deserved his death, cause he also killed
once.
I started to go straight to the room’s interior. Somewhere in it’s centre, there
was the victim’s bed. My hands, holding tightly the little sword, were shaking
awfully, my heart was beating lauder than some minutes ago, there were ranges of
48
transpiration drops seeping on my forehead, as they were flushing from a spring,
my eyes were webby, the nostrils were letting out a strong rattle and I couldn’t feel
my legs anymore. It seemed so hard to get to the defunct bed. I considered him
dead already.
– Kill him, kill him, kill him, kill him!
This collocation was sounding continuously in my ears, that’s why I hadn’t
wait even for a minute and threw myself over the bed, starting to stab from all the
parts.
– Have it, beast, die for all you’ve done. Your end is here.
– My arm was threading easily into the quilt. The blade was getting deeper till
the handle. After some fifty, uninterrupted hits, I noticed that abbot wasn’t groaning
at all.” Wasn’t he dead before I’ve started my plan?”
For understanding the situation, I watched over the quilt. I began to look for
him everywhere in the bed. There was nobody. The pillow had to suffer only, cause
it was set under the quilt.
– Where are you, buster, did you run? Did you get scared of the death that was
waiting you and get hide? You, boggler, beast, buster!...
I was screaming from all my powers. I was dement. I felt my head
decomposing as a melon, getting out all the craziness that was governing my being.
Evil transformed me into an animal, that doesn’t know the limits, can’t control his
actions, differentiate the weal from the evil. I didn’t have a ration anymore, only
instinct.
Suddenly, a sparking light, that had maintained there for five seconds, helped
me to distinguish the things from the room. I’ve been staying perplexedly for some
seconds. The abbot was kneeling and praying, one meter far from me. He had a
hood on his head, so I wasn’t able to observe his face. The darkness was
dominating the room, again. I had become dumb. I couldn’t say anything. I was in a
deplorable, miserable and even ridiculous condition.
– Son, I knew you’ll come to kill me.
– Yessssss?! I roared.
– As you are already here, kill me, I’m unarmed, I have no power against you.
You have a little sword, stab my body, pronounced raucously the abbot.
– You think I won’t do it?
– Oppositely, I think you can do this, that’s why I’m impelling you. I can’t
long the time anymore. I deserve my destiny, cause I killed my dear persons, too.
This is a circle all the killers are going to follow. Enter the circle’s axe, too, enter it.
The echo of his voice was sounding in my ears, making me totally crazy.
“Kill him or not, kill him or not?” I was asking myself without being able to
take any decision. “If I kill him, I should kill all the monks from the monastery, I
don’t want to stay in jail because of a man.”
There was another question appearing to me after this: “Isn’t the freedom
sweeter?”
A deafening voice told me:
– You won’t get to jail, anyway. Don’t stop now, you, boggler.

49
 The Evil was in the same room. The abbot wasn’t hearing his voice. He was
looking for something in the darkness. He had lighted a candle. The electric energy
seemed to be interrupted.
– I don’t want to go to jail, I can’t kill him, I want to be free, I’ve been roaring
powerfully.
– If you don’t kill the abbot, I’ll put you in the jail, anyway. You have no way
to escape, the Evil told me.
– I will, Evil. I don’t kill the abbot firstly, and secondly, I get rid of you. You
are the most infamous being from the universe.
– You are mine and only mine! I won’t ever leave you in peace. We have an
engagement, or did you forget, buster?
– I don’t remember anything. I even forgot whom I’m speaking to. It doesn’t
deserve to run after me, you destroyed me totally.
– I wished you the weal, rebel boy you are. Why don’t you understand? I’m
the people’s God and even yours. I know very well your problems and wishes,
that’s why I want to help you. This is my purpose.
– But how can you give the weal to the people, using the violence?
– Nick, try to stand against him, until he’ll leave you in peace, said the abbot in
a breath.
– He’ll leave me forever now. I let him understand that I don’t need Him
anymore, I answered instantaneity.
– Son, said Evil, you are the most insurgent child from the world. That’s why
I’m going to submit you to the most awful torture.
– I’m ready to face everything, only to get rid of you.
– If you’ll be able to pass this next exam, you are free, if not, you’ll die.
– Better to die than being terrorized my entire life. You made me the most
unhappy man from the earth.
– You think you are unhappy. Don’t you want to be glad for me, at least?
Don’t you understand that every man killed by my improvers, is a reason for me to
be happy? Do me this favor, son.
– I don’t want to be a marionette anymore. I want to be independent.
– The freedom is obtained after you are totally locked.
– I will withstand your rules.
– You have only a chance to get rid of me.
– I’ll use it, Evil. I can’t hesitate a moment anymore.
– Our discussion is over now. The most awful exam from your life is
following. I exclude you from the list of my improvers, but I don’t think you’ll get
to God either.
His voice was coming from somewhere inside of me. It was threading all my
textures. Probably, his heart was standing into mine, he was watching through my
eyes, at the afeard abbot, holding the candle. While the Evil was continuing his
curses, I felt my hands retreating slowly, till the little sword fall down. Gradually,
my heart stopped from beating, my eyes were webby till they closed and my body
fell as a boulder over the pillow drilled by the knife edge. From that moment, I
wasn’t living anymore. I’ve died. I hadn’t known what happened in that room,
50
cause I wasn’t there anymore. A first stage of my life was over. There was going to
start the next one, after some time. When the man thinks he touched an interior
stability, the moral revolutions are almost starting. Having the impression of a total
healing, an awful fight between me and Evil, was preparing inside of my soul. The
quietness was announcing the war. The quiet and the love that had flooded me for a
quite short period, meant to be the retelling of a tragedy. Everything starts from
pleasure. The drug users, initially have a special pleasure, for realizing later the
pain they are submitted to. I was also a drug user, but only of the evil poison.

***

It was morning. Through a little window, the first sunlight prickled me and
woke me up. I was so quite, that I’ve been staying with my eyes closed, for
meditating a little.
– I’m free of Evil. Thank you God, if you are existing somewhere in the sky,
thank for looking and seeing the tortures your son made me passing through! I’ll be
again the good boy I was once! How wonderful, how wonderful! I’ll stay at the
monastery today, because I have to meet Maria at twelve o’ clock , but tomorrow,
I’m leaving home . I want my parents to see their boy totally changed. They won’t
recognize me. There is peace living in my soul and I won’t ever want to lose it.
I was lied on a cold, hard, concrete floor. I felt how it’s coldness is threading
me till the bones, but it didn’t affect me at all, because my soul was hot, sufficiently
to warm my body, too. I was unlocked and this mattered most of all.
“Interesting, where is the abbot? Did he sleep that night? I got asleep
immediately. I remember only the Evil condemning and insulting me, I don’t even
know for sure, but that awful night was over. “
My quiet appeared the same time with the first sunlight. The trip on the
imagination’s clime was interrupted some near voices:
– Costel, wake up! You get up daily at five o’ clock, it is over six now, ha-ha-
ha, somebody said.
– You are unmoved, as being a dead man, said other person.
“Whose voices are these? Whom I am talking with?” I was asking myself.
I had opened my eyes, and, I remained transfixed, when I saw the picture. I
was in a prison cell. There were two men sleeping by my side and by the other, the
another two who quarreled me for sleeping too much.
– It’s awful, what am I doing here? I started to roar and cry.
After that roaring, the other two were waking, too. One of them asked me
excitedly:
– Costel! What is happening to you? I had never seen you so unhappy. Did you
have nightmares?
– Who brought me here? Answer me!

51
 – How can we know this? You had been here for more than twenty years.
When I came here, eight years ago, you was already here, told me one of them,
being bald-head, with a long mustache.
– Are you crazy, Costel? We’ve done so many crimes together and you aren’t
recognizing me anymore? Twit man, ha-ha, said the most voluminous of all, being
supported by the bars, smoking deeply a cigar.
– I don’t recognize anyone! How did I entered here? I slept in another place,
last night.
– No, last night you’ve slept exactly here, told me the one who was smoking.
– Are you mad, brother. They will take you to the madhouse, said the other.
– I’m not crazy. I am absolutely healthy.
– Hey, I don’t think so, you have hallucinations and need a doctor.
– Are you cracked, don’t you see I’m another man?!
– We don’t see absolutely anything, your voice is a little bit changed, but you
have the same eyes, mouth, big belly and ragged ear.
That moment, I fell deliriously, as the other time. Watching my hands, I
couldn’t believe my eyes, they were big and chapped as of a sixty years old man, I
had a huge belly, the legs were enough thick. I wasn’t understanding absolutely
anything. Wasn’t it the Evil, who made me travel through the time? Didn’t he send
me to see my body when I’m gone be old? But I cant believe this, it happens only in
books or films. An incredible reality. That moment, the Evil’s voice, coming from
nowhere, told me very clear and definitively:
– Now, boy, you are not belonging to me anymore. You have the faith, you’ve
been chosen and I will find new boys, more obedient than you was. Do what you
want, I won’t ever complicate your life. You are much more mutinous, than all the
people being put together. That’s why I don’t insist anymore to make you my
improver. Now, you have to pass the last exam. The exam for life. You can die
anytime, so fight for your life, for your individuality. I suppose you understood
what happened to you. Your soul entered one prisoner’s body, set in jail for ever,
but the soul of that criminal is in your body now, your body from the monastery.
The rescue is double, I hope you are conscious about this. That criminal will rape
your lover, will kill the monks and finally he will kill your parents and brothers. He
is very dangerous. The second rescue is that you are meant to be sitting in the jail
forever, if you won’t fight for your innocent body. I have nothing more to tell you. I
repeat you, you are free, fight for your destiny. I’m leaving. When you’ll need my
help, call me. I’ll come anytime.
– Thank you, ruffian being, leave at once! I cried.
– Who is ruffian, Costel? I told you are mad? You are on the edge, we’ll lose
you soon, said one of them scratching between his fingers, almost ripping the meat.
– You won’t get rid of me, boys, I’m young, I’m not even twenty. My life is
just starting.
– What do you want to say?
For coming down their interest, I retold them the history of my life, in details.
Initially, they didn’t trust me, but till the end, I convinced them one by one. They
couldn’t believe that in the Costel’s body, their old friend, was the soul of an
52
adolescent now. For getting rid of the terror, that Evil made me believe in, I asked
them if Costel was really a dangerous man.
– He kills everything. It’s hard to become his friend. At the beginning, he was
beating me daily, since one day when he had told me that I’m the strongest man
from the prison. He also told me that starting with that day, I was going to be the
second chief of the prisoners. One by one, he found friend from the other cells.
– If the other prisoners will find out that Costel isn’t here anymore, at least his
body, they kill all of us. Do not tell anybody. Only we’ll know about this, did you
understand? The man who was scratching between the fingers announced me.
Costel was the strongest from the jail. He could talk even to the policemen an d
guardians. If you assign that you aren’t more than twenty. then your power is
limited, even being in his giant body.
– Nobody will find out about this transfer of bodies. This will be our secret and
it won’t ever get out from this cell.
– OK, what are you going to enterprise now? asked the man whose nickname
was Bombe. First of all we need Cosel and not you, secondly you are an innocent
young man, who happened here.
– I don’t know for sure, but I think I’ll establish a plan and I’ll make it to come
true.
During our discussion, there was a person coming to the cell’s door, probably
was the guardian and told us to get ready for having the breakfast and to go to work
then.
I was feeling terrible. The cell’s atmosphere I was being in, made me
understand that the rescue of staying there forever was maximum. I was finding
myself in the skin of the most dangerous prisoner, who did not have any chance to
he free. I should fight, but it could provoke a real spectacle. The jail’s director
wouldn’t believe me for a second, that I am another man and not Costel.
– Leave the shirt and take the T-shirt, Costel, one of my colleagues advised
me. When we are having meal, we must be dressed in the clothes given by the
prison’s administration. When I saw my vest, I stayed perplexedly. The number six
hundred and sixty-six was marked on it’s back. Absolutely incredible.
“Oh, Evil, Evil, there is no way for you to let me in peace. This is your number
that scares the people’s glance. I am not afraid anymore of the things subordinated
or reported to you. I became immune in front of all the evil temptations. I’ll wear
this dress and you keep away from me.”
I couldn’t even imagine how did the prison look from the exterior, I had no
idea about it’s setting, but it didn’t matter too much. The most important thing was
how to obtain my freedom back. I’ve been quite for a week. I was trying from all
my powers to hide my real personality, from the other prisoners from the cell.
While I was staying in the jail, an imposter profited fully of my body’s
innocence. That was Costel.

***
53
 – Nick, wake up, you’ve been saved.
– Who are you? someone asked in a grave voice.
– It’s me, the abbot. You are free of Evil, be happy, son!
Probably, what was Costel doing, was whole-time set by the Evil. Costel knew
whom was he going to meet and how was he going to act.
– I’m really free, I want to go home, I can’t stay here anymore.
– OK, son, you’ll live, but don’t forget, Maria told you yesterday that she’s
going to come to you at twelve o’ clock.
– Ah, of course, I was already forgetting. I’ll go home by her car and you’ll go
with us, too, Father, cause I don’t know the way to my home.
– I’ll go son, it’s been a while, since I hadn’t got out from this blind alley. I
really want to see if there is something changed through your region.
– No problem, Father. You’ll talk to my parents, too!
– Of course, we are very good friends.
– Then, we wait Maria and leave after that.
– You know, son, I was scared last night when I saw you rushing in my room.
If I were in bed, there would certainly have been pieces of me. But I had a
premonition and God told me about your plans. I was saved and you was liberated.
Yesterday was your decisive day. You won’t be ever oppressed by the Evil.
– I hope so, Father!
– I’m going in the church now. I want to spend this day in prayers and thanks.
– Go, Father. I’m waiting for my lover.
– Lover…, lover…, oh boy, said the abbot unthankfully, without doubting
whom he was talking to.
– You’ll get used to this reality, too, Father.!
The next moments, Nick, who was Costel, actually, was already waiting for
my lover. He was impatient to deflower her. He was totally going against my
destiny. It was much easier for Evil to control him, than me. What a pity, the Father
wasn’t conscious that he was standing near to a criminal, enough dangerous, who
could stab his heart, from a minute to another. He thought it was me.
Finally, it was twelve o’clock. Maria came by car close to the monastery’s
gate, without being afraid of the abbot. Costel, full of joy, was going straight to the
gate, embraced Maria and kissed her.
– Ah, my darling, I missed you so much.
– Me too, Nick, but what happened to your voice, are you wheeze? I don’t
recognize you!
– I caught a cold, probably, it’s OK. Maria, I should go home today. Don’t you
want to fall me out? The abbot will accompany us, too.
– Ah, my lover, I come with you! I would follow you till the end of the earth. I
told you mean everything to me. So, today is the great day for us?
– What do you mean?
– Don’t be stupid, she told to Costel, smiling. Today is the first time we are
going to make love. You wanted this!

54
 – Ah, of course my darling, I was almost forgetting. We are going to step the
next stair of our relation. Our feelings are going to be more profound this way.
– You are right, Nick! she said with the same large and benevolent smile.
– Come with me in the crib. The monks are in the monastery, nobody will
observe anything.
– Let’s go, my lover.
The miserable Costel was going to dishonor my great love. There was no way
for me to get involved. If I could escape from the jail… He was destroying my
happiness. Poor Maria, she wasn’t even realizing what trap she was going through.
Some minutes ago, they locked the inside door. They entered the abbot’s room.
Costel thought it was his room, because he woke up in it. Actually, that was the bed
of a saint. My lover was betraying me with a criminal. This thought was killing me.
Awfully.
Costel took her blouse off and was kissing her naked shoulders and then, her
fine neck. Thou the hot sun was flooding the room with an immense warm, Maria
was all shaking. She was for the first time, almost naked, in a man’s arms. With
canny gestures, Costel took her little skirt off. She was smiling, shaking, kissing
him, thinking I’m the one she is giving to.
– I love you, Nick, I love you so much, much, much …
The buster Costel, wasn’t even answering her, he was interested only of a
thing, that was almost realized. In a slowly move, he fended her legs and with a
certain effort, painful for Maria, penetrated her. She was crying, struggling, smiling
under Costel, thinking it was a dream for her. Her breasts, two little fresh, young
mountains, which hadn’t known any “volcanic eruptions” until then, were lurching
rhythmically up and down, the epicenter being localized in the hottest areas of their
bodies. Big, red blood drops were seeping from the Costel’s back on the bed’s
lingerie, his injures being provoked by Maria’s nails stabbed in his meat and by the
injure Costel provoked in her intimate zone. Everything was so beautiful, but so
painful for me… After some minutes of acrobatic moves, I could see Costel, letting
himself exhausted near Maria, cleaning his forehead full of transpiration. He was
the happiest. It was his first achieved purpose, my parents were the next. I was
hoping to get out from the prison, before he could do any harm to my darling
persons, but I was staying there too long, so that he managed to destroy me
sentimentally. Now, my family was next. Finally…
– Maria! It would be better for us to dress up and leave. The monks will get out
from the church, after some time, said Costel.
– I want you to embrace me a little more.
– I told you we must leave, don’t you understand?! he cried, clouting her on
the cheek.
He stayed perplexedly. He wasn’t ever thinking that Nick, who was Costel
actually, could hurt and humiliate her in such a miserable way.
Maria began to cry, cleaning her face with the palms.
– Don’t whim anymore, put your close on and let’s go to the car, he cried
again.
– OK, OK.
55
 What was she thinking about that momemt? She was certainly feeling used and
thrown, unprotected and despised by the one who stole her virginity! But, it was too
late, it happened already. Her love had disappeared forever. There was only hate
and reluctance toward me, but I was innocent.
The moment Costel was getting out, holding Maria’s hand, the monks
appeared from the holly bower, too.
– Father! Let’s go right now.
– Son, wait for me, I must take my Bible, said happily the abbot .
– It’s not necessary, we’ll find one in our house. Let’s go now!
Hurried, Costel had gone without saying “good bye” to the monks. The abbot
had led the direction of the trip for two hours. During all this time, Maria had cried.
The abbot didn’t ask absolutely anything. He thought she was crying because of our
near separation. In a way, he was even glad that the final rupture was going to
happen. He didn’t like her and that’s all. Costel wasn’t speaking to the abbot either,
only watching each other, under the eyelashes. He wasn’t understanding a thing,
only knew me more voluble, while that moments he saw the opposite. Finally, they
got home.
My parents looked extremely happy, the were embracing their son, thinking it
was really him. He introduced them Maria, as being his girlfriend. They had stayed
at the table till the midnight, discussing all that happened. The parents were the
most pleased from all of them. Costel was sitting in a corner of the table, close to
Maria, watching all under the eyelashes. He had the eyes of a criminal, but nobody
noticed it.
When the separation moment was close, Costel told curtness to Maria:
– I don’t want ever to hear about you. You are the most foolish being of the
universe. You are a stupid, adieu.
– Nick, Nick, I love you, Maria was trying to soften him up.
– I don’t believe you. You have no heart. You are a real hypocrite!
– Nick, you are doing the biggest mistake from your life.
– Don’t teach me, get in the car and leave right now. Take this beard, too and
disappear from my eyes!
– I looooooove youuuu, Nickkkkkkkkkkk!
These were the last words of Maria, addressed to the miserable Costel. He
dispossessed me of the most valuable I had in the world. I had lost her, probably
forever.
According to my parents’ retellings, Costel seemed to be enough excited. He
wasn’t talking almost to any member of the family, but wasn’t aggressive, too. He
stayed quietly, until the others finally got asleep. The next day, early in the
morning, Costel came close to my mum and told her:
– Give my identity card and one hundred dollars.
– What for, Nick? asked worriedly my mother.
– I told you to give me and that’s all! Polish off your questions, he said
nervously.
– Nick, I thought you’ve been liberated from Evil, but is not so, your situation
is more aggravated now. Ah, God! exclaimed desperately mother.
56
 – Give me quicker what I’ve told you, or else…
– I’ll give you, Nick, and go wherever you want…
Obtaining the identity card, which was actually mine, Costel left and nobody
ever heard a thing about him.
My parents were crying continuously. They couldn’t believe they lost their
son. Poor parents, because of an intruder, who stole my body, they had to suffer
with no motivations. They wasn’t even thinking that their real son was sitting in a
jail, without any chance of getting out ever. They were suffering and I was
suffering, too, but somebody took advantages of this situation.

***

– Eh, Costel, do you smoke?

– I don’t want to hear even about smoking, I told with a voice of a young man.
– How is that, until yesterday you was smoking osier cigarettes and now you
don’t even want to touch it? Oh!!! you are unrecognizable, ha, ha, ha, laughed
Bombe.
– Come here, under the tree’s shadow, the sun will burn you else, said anther
colleague, who was resting after he broke some giant stones.
I was working hardly day by day. At a border from the prison’s yard, I started
to build a house, that was going to be the new kitchen for the prisoners. We were
working at the foundation of the future edifice, that’s why we had to crunch
cobblestone, for making the basis ant start the building then. The prisoners who
were building that house, were massive and strong for working the maximum in the
minimum of day. Everyone of them, me inclusively, had his own task. Me and
another man, were busy with the loading, transportation, unloading of stones on the
dug trench’s bottom. It was about twenty metres length and thirty metres wide.
Another colleagues were caring water from a cistern, installed behind the prison,
another group was carrying cement sacks from a store, some of them were sifting
the sand through a sieve of imposing dimensions and another four were preparing
the concrete for pouring it in the trench.
The prison’s yard was enough spacious. It was about the dimensions one
hundred and fifty on one hundred and fifty metres, growing two very high maples
in it’s interior. Sometimes we were staying under one of it, to keep us from the
cruel summer sun lights. I couldn’t say the situation was unbearable. There was a
single problem. Practically, there were no conditions in the cell for living a decent
life. There were teeming bugs and rats. Our sleep was a real crucible. At every
quarter of hour, you could hear the colleagues’ curses, who were hardly facing the
permanent invasion of those beetles. I was sleeping with the eyes opened in the first
three nights. I was watching and killing bug after bug. I killed even a rat, one night,
this being a real stunt. When the sun was rising, the whole variety of little animals
and bugs disappeared. From unhappiness, we were staying seldom in the cell,

57
during the day. Only in the case of a strong rain, we were allowed to have the
luxury for resting a little.
There was no bed, no chair, absolutely nothing inside of our cell. For not
catching a cold, during the sleep, I was landing under myself some mending clothes
of Costel.
Everything was fine, but something happened one day, that made my
colleagues hate and even threaten me with death. In a small incident, Bombe got
some black eyes. That was the reason they obligated me to beat the aggressor for,
because Costel would have proceed the same. They threatened me with death, if I
won’t bring Costel back in his body and go far away from that prison.
– You stay as a trembler, you are afraid to rise your hand against somebody,
told me very furiously Bombe.
– I was enough aggressive sometime, but I’m not anymore.
– I can’t imagine you being another way, blunder head. You have one week
more to bring our Costel back, we’ll kill you else.
– I am not guilty at all, Bombe! Do you think I wanted to come here?
– We don’t care. We need a shield that would defense us from all the prison’s
scamps. Costel was the strongest from all the prisoners.
– OK. I’ll try to speak with the jail’s chef, may be he’ll understand the real
situation I got in.
– Tell him tomorrow in the morning, not later. There will appear another
leader through the prisoners and we’ll be beaten everyday, especially you, even if
you have no fault. Many persons want Costel’s death. You are going to pass
through a great rescue. Don’t waste the time, save yourself.
Certainly, if you wasn’t demonstrating constantly your authority, you could be
dethroned by another prisoner, in a few days.
Immediately after the discussion with the cell colleagues, I began to think how
should I act for convincing the prison’s chef about my true identity. At least, it was
good I had regained the full freedom and quiet. I wasn’t hating anyone, having no
bad intention or occult force. Thou I wasn’t governed by Evil anymore, his words
were sounding continuously in my mind:
“You have to pass the last exam, now. The exam for life. You can die anytime,
so fight for surviving, for your individuality.” His words were becoming real, I had
to fight, or I was rescuing to be attacked every moment else. My fight, this time,
wasn’t consisted of escaping the Evil’s arms anymore, but of obtaining the
individuality. I was understanding perfectly that because of a dirty soul, the body is
going to suffer most of all, being the visible part of an individuality. Thou I
possessed such a voluminous body of Costel, it was no way to help me. It had too
much spots, it was too dirty, I couldn’t go anywhere because of it. His body was
condemned forever at life privation, my soul being condemned the same time.
“I don’t have to waste a moment, or else Costel will spot my body, too. If he’ll
commit a new crime, he’ll stay in jail and I won’t have what to fight for, anymore”,
I said sadly to myself.
While all were sleeping, I was looking straightly to the grated window from
the wall. I was feeling the cold, fresh air that was threading the cell, brought by the
58
night wind from the outside. A star with the lights dispersed in all directions, was
watching me with compassion. It understood me probably, but could not help me. It
was too far from me and I was finding too close to death. I couldn’t depend of the
stairs’ help that moments, or of the moon’s power, or the sun’s help, even no people
could help me. The saving was inside of me, in my wanderer soul. Accompanied by
Costel’s body, I had to realize the unrealizable. I had to get out from the prison and
find Costel dressed into my body. It was the only method to gain my body back.
The body of a young man, with no faults, of not even twenty years. The single
obstacle was the prison’s director, whom I had to convince for accompanying me in
the true delinquent’s seeking.
There were some hours more until the natural summer sunrise. Bombe with
another cell colleague were snuffling noisily, blowing off the last vestiges of the
nocturne quiet. Finally, in that interminable blatancy, produced involuntary by my
colleagues, oppressed by thoughts, I got asleep, too. Thou my soul was oppressed,
my body wasn’t feeling better either. At every few moments, I was snapping with
the heavy, chapped hand, my face, the neck, for destroying the intruders, which
were raping my body with their presence. The most bothering was when these
parasites were entering my trousers, or my T-shirt, I was jumping suddenly from
my cold, miserable couch.
At the end of those sleeping, unsleeping hours, I stood on my feet, going from
a side to another, I was waiting for my fellows, who were teeming through the dirty
belongings, to wake up. Even if they were in jail for a long time, they had no
preoccupation. I had never seen them sad, or to speak that they would want to get to
the freedom.
– Hey, Costele, are you insomniac? Why are you walking continuously, like a
bug through our feet? Bombe exclaimed. Calm down, he advised me, or may be
you don’t like our beds? Don’t worry, they will bring us back the next week.
– I thought you had always slept on the floor!
– Hm, it was a terrible fight in our cell, two weeks ago. There were six of us,
but remained only five.
– What means five? But the sixth one?... , I asked curiously.
– He, he, he! He died, miserable. We killed him as a dog. It was Costel’s
decision, we just executed his order. Dead man, was a real hireling. He was always
denouncing us to guardians, when we spoke something bad about them, or about
the prison’s director. He had to stay in prison some months more and he would
been free, but… we set him free earlier, ha, ha, ha, Bombe was grinning.
While we were discussing, the other three woke up, too, getting involved in the
dialog our dialog . They were retelling me detailed about the recent crime against
their last cell colleague.
– I poked my fingers into his nose and I straggled him, said one of them.
– I beat him on the scruff, until he lost the conscience. Miserable man,
exclaimed the other.
– I even raped him, till he was warm, ha, ha, grinned the third.
– You raped him? How is this possible? I asked him scarily.

59
 – What, do you want me to show you this? ha, ha, ha. The tremblers, the rats,
the disobedient man are being “maltreated” physically. No one can run from us. If
you’ll continue to be the same remiss and quiet, you’ll be maltreated, too, thou you
were maltreating the others till now.
– Costel, if you would now what is expecting you, you run immediately,
Bombe had scared me.
– You’ll get rid of me and I’ll give your Costel back, don’t worry. Let’s turn
back to our subject. What have in common the assassin and the beds? Why did they
took it from you?
– It was impossible to stay in the pound, because of some underground springs.
The water was over a meter and half.
– But when you open the pound’s door, the waster isn’t leaking out?
– Blunder head, told me one of them, the hall and the underground rooms, too,
are full of water. You are a stupid man indeed!
– Finish your nonsense and don’t get on my nerves, I told them brusquely?
– Now you speak exactly as our friend Costel does, this is the man we want!
“Costel is our king. He protects us from enemies. Kills them as some dogs in a few
minutes!”, said all of them in a choir.
– What is that? I asked them curiously.
– It is the hymn dedicated to Costel. We sang it together, every morning and
evening, told me on of them, beating friendly my shoulder.
– As our Father, completed Bombe.
– And though, as I understand, having nowhere to set you, they made a pound
from your cell?! we came back to our discussion subject.
– Something like this! approved Bombe.
– But you should be judge according to the law. Am I right?
– What judgment? Costel said us to tell the guardians that he killed that
dunderhead. He has the entire fault, but the law isn’t valid for him anymore, cause
he is lifer.
– Anyway, they have to enterprise something in this way, I had insisted.
– What else to enterprise? Add some more years at the Costel’s punishment?
Nonsense, said one of my colleagues, being supported by the cell’s grates, for
seeing the coming guardian. He didn’t have to hear a word of our discussion. That
was the rule, imposed even by their old, true comrade, Costel.
– For not complicated the things anymore, the jail’s director indicated in his
reports that his decease was a suicide, told me Bombe, almost whispering.
Asking them more details, I managed to find out who was this Costel. He was
a man without scruples. He could kill anyone, having no serious reason. From my
colleagues’ retellings I found out that he never got married. Poor man… he didn’t
know what means the love for a woman, for the children. He lived his entire life in
loneliness, living only for himself. How would he feel before his death? Making a
retrospective through his life, he will manifest his profound regret, because he
wasn’t able to make a woman happy, left no descendant who could mention him.
He was a dunderhead, being afraid to assume any responsibilities of growing a
child, building a house, planting a tree, digging a well… He was a real virus of this
60
earth, and though, Costel is not guilty. The Creator is directing the things’ way on
the planet. Who would like to born or to become a criminal? Who would like to be
killed with bestiality by a criminal? Nobody…, but this phenomena does exist, even
if we don’t want it. The criminal spirit is superior to the man’s nature. It is planted,
rooted in the souls of some beings, in the moment of their birth, or during their life.
This can not be a heritable characteristic, as others assign. Being an extraordinary
criminal, a priest or a politician, means to be a true genius. Being a true genius
means you have planted inside of you, thank to a strange intervention, superhuman
qualities. The genius belongs to a double image, the good and the evil one. They
can be reported to the good or evil, thank to the fact that their beings are being
governed by the God or Evil. They represent the weal or the evil in a man’s body.
Christ presented us God in a man’s face; Hitler, Stalin etc, presented us the Evil.
All of them demonstrated to be very good, only some of them in making weal and
the others in causing harm.
Poor Costel, he was symbolizing the evil. I symbolized it, too, but I managed
to get rid of him, through a continuous fight. But when I had my soul cleaned of the
evil dirtiness, I got a dirty body, this being much harder to be cleaned, because I
had to look for that clean body, my real body.
– Hey, guardian! I cried from all my powers, I want to speak to the director.
– Mr. director is very busy now, answered that in a cold voice.
– I had a sensational new for him. I won’t take him more than three minutes.
Bring me to him, please.
– Costel, nobody can refuse you anything. Let’s go now. The director should
leave after an hour, told me the guardian, coming close to our cell.
– I’ll thank you, friend! I told him happily.
– I can’t even doubt, Costel. You hadn’t ever disappointed me.
We entered the director’s office, that was positioned in the prison’s mansard.
Sitting in a small armchair, made from brown material, with black stripes, very
relaxed, the director was smoking his cigar. A real choir of the birds, roosted in the
trees’ leaf, near the wall, was threading inside, through the opened window.
Through his listed papers, a little, black radio, was announcing the last news. I
couldn’t even imagine the director to be so young. He was a little man, of no more
than forty years, with a very trim beard and mustache. His black hair was almost
invisible.
– What happened, Costel? Something’s wrong if you came early in the
morning?
– Something very grave, Mr. director!
– Did you killed anybody else? he asked me, prickling his pistol, installed
fixedly by his hip.
– I did never kill anyone.
– Hey, Costel, don’t be stupid… You are the biggest criminal I ever knew.
You are insuperable, speaking about this field. OK, what do you want to tell me?
– I am not Costel. It happened so that I got into the body of this criminal. I am
a boy of the age under twenty years.

61
 – What’s going on with you, Costel, you was completely healthy, till
yesterday?!
– I am healthy, Mr.! The real criminal is free. His soul stole my body! He will
kill my parents, or who knows what else he can do! Help me, please! I don’t have to
be here.
– You start to impress me, the director smiled. You don’t have the Costel’s
voice and he won’t ever speak so calm, as you do. Something’s wrong here!
– Everything is wrong. I am an innocent child. I happened into this old, full of
cigar smoke body. I am the actor who plays the Evil’s role.
I had related him the story for some times, until I managed perfectly to
convince him. He couldn’t believe it initially. He was exclaiming continuously:
– Incredible, incredible, a strange soul in Costel’s body!
– Mr. director, I was aggressive sometimes, but I never dared to rise my hand
at somebody, not speaking about killing him.
– What is your real name? he asked me.
– Nick.
– Tell me your full name.
– Nick Covrin.
The director took a pen and signed my name on a paper:
– Nick Covrin, he repeated one more time. What do you propose to do now?
– I don’t know Mr.! I’m afraid not to propose you something impossible!
– Suggest me something, I’ll take the final decision, anyway, he told me
maximum seriously.
– I’d wish you to set me free, for stopping Costel from not causing another
stupidity. He could go and kill my parents every moment.
– To liberate you, would be practically impossible. Costel is lifer. I would
rescue too much, to liberate you from the prison.
– What could we do, then? I asked him despairingly.
– I’m still thinking.
– Mr. director, if Costel commits a crime, my body will be condemned, judged
and set into the prison, thou my soul is not finding in it. We must prevent any
possible incident
– Be calm. Firstly, we should bring Nick Covrin here, you take care of the rest.
– It’s great, Mr. director, it’s great, I exclaimed happily. If you would actuate
quickly, you catch him until the evening.
– Don’t be excited, we’ll do all the possible in the shortest time.
After few minutes, he asked me the address and the name of my parents, for
going to them. Though, I advised them to go to the monastery, firstly, because
Costel could be still there.
My problem was seeming to be solved very soon. I couldn’t imagine my soul’s
reaction seeing his real, own body. It would have been a unique, crucible,
unforgettable moment! After we arranged all the things, I had been led to the cell,
again. My colleagues were bombing me with different questions, thinking they will
get rid of the remiss Nick Covrin, and will regain their super-strong Costel. I told
them everything in details, feeding their curiosity.
62
 That day passed as all the others, with the same strict program of prisoners’
supervising, with the same daily occupation, with the same out of calories food.
Thou I was finding on the prison’s area, my thought was flying far away. I was
thinking of escaping that nightmare of the souls’ transfer, from one into another, of
going to Maria and tell how much I love her, of going to my parents and prove my
true kindness, of finishing the school and continuing my studies somewhere in the
capital…
I was just passing the adolescence age, that’s why I was allowing myself to
dream, to dream for a nice future.
To evening, I asked the guardian’s permission to stay outside and to admire the
sunset. Thou he didn’t want initially, he agreed only if I accepted to fetter my hands
and legs. I was sitting on a chair, in the middle of the yard, having my hands and
legs immobilized. Nobody was disturbing me, was enough quiet to can contemplate
the fatty and old body of Costel. Certainly he was weighting over one hundred
kilos. My little soul, of not more than two decades old, hadn’t seen a half of what
saw that oppressed by many prison years body. The three fingers of the right hand,
had no nails. If you would have seen them, you would believe he was born like that,
poor Costel. One day, when we took a bath, I discovered a giant cicatrix on his
back, provoked probably by a knife blade. I had no toe at the right foot. I was
scared only seeing it, but to suffer what he suffered? My forehead was lined with
furrows, under the half-open eyes, which were looking desperately to the red moon,
fragmented by those five barbed wire threads, were lying two black and also full of
furrows eyes. Over the huge bell, was hanged the blue T-shirt with the number six
hundreds and sixty-six marked on it. Through my ears, one of them being ragged,
entered the squeal of a dog, that was wandering the prison’s yard. And when I was
thinking that I was so close to the freedom!!! I had only to skip the was and I would
have got outside the penitentiary, but I had my hands and legs locked and had
absolutely no chance for escaping. Hurried, the sun declined the sky’s stairs, until it
was unseen. A dark, warm night was going to dominate that territory and I was
waiting the news from the prison’s director. Haplessly, there were no news and my
body either. I was desperate, unhappy, excited profoundly by my isolation in that
“purgatory”, where the sins are expiated. But I had no sin to deserve being there.
The next day, early in the morning, the guardian came to announce me that the
director is waiting for me in his office. I went immediately, cause an inside
impatience was oppressing me.
– Good morning, Mr. director! I told him the moment I entered his careful
office.
– Sit down, Costel, the things are not ensuing the way we wait, he told me very
seriously.
– What does it mean? Did you find the real Costel? I asked him desperately.
– He is not home, he left.
– I can’t believe! I was lamenting.
– We talked to the abbot. He stayed wonderingly, hearing the new of you being
in prison. He’ll come to see you tomorrow. Your parents don’t know anything. I

63
didn’t want to destroy them telling such a new, they were crying already when I
asked them about you. They think you left home, only this.
– Ah…
– Costel, hidden in your body, went to your parents, took the identity card,
money, and left without saying where he was going. They think actually you left.
They are desperate, poor people.
– Where did the buster leave?
– We asked information from the international airport Chisinau. There was no
bought ticket, registered after with the name Nick Covrin. We asked the same
information from the Railway station.
– And? Did you get an answer? I asked impatiently the director.
– Yes, we got…, he said thoughtfully. Three days ago, on June twenty-six,
Nicolae Covrin bought the ticket with the itinerary Chisinau – Murmansk. At nine
o’ clock and fifty-six minutes, in the morning, he left the country.
– Incredible, what should I do now, I won’t stay here until he’ll be back?
– He won’t ever come back. Do you think he’ll rescue to return to the place, he
could be caught in every moment? Do you think he is not realizing he’s being
followed?
– Then?
– I have no solution, he said calmly.
– What means you don’t have?! I cried. Announce the police from Murmansk.
Tell them to catch and send him in the country!
– I can’t help you anymore. This is a personal problem between you and the
real Costel. More than that, you, Nicolae Covrin, didn’t commit any crime, didn’t
violate the law, so I can’t order the seeking of your name.
– Mr. director, will you let me here? I don’t want my bones to putrefy in this
penitentiary, I want to be free!
– I don’t know what to say. Let me think and I’ll give you an answer.
– Will it be possible to liberate me for seeking my body? I asked him.
– Is absolutely impossible, I told you!
– But why? You allow me to go and that’s all!
– Where will you go? Costel is lifer. You’ll be turn back at the first frontier!
Another problem is that I can’t allow you to leave. I don’t dispose of any right to do
it.
– Then, for not being responsible of my person, I will escape and you won’t
order my seeking, at least for a week, until I manage to get to Murmansk!
– You can’t get out from the country, you don’t have any identity acts.
– I don’t need the acts of Costel, I’ll leave the country having another identity,
I’ll change my name and surname, so that nobody will notice anything.
– I don’t know, Nicolae. I got used to Costel and I can’t get used to the idea of
being another man inside of his body, Nicolae Covrin, a young man, under the age
of twenty.
– I have one more idea, Mr. director. I hope this to be better than the first one.
– Tell it, Nicolae…

64
 – We’ll go together to Murmansk. But you have to speak with the superior
justice organs first, for allowing me the country’s leaving. I’ll obtain by body there
and bring Costel back to the prison, what do you think?
– This is really a better idea, but I’m not sure you’ll obtain the permission of
leaving from here.
– At least, try to do something.
– I have a good relationship with the procurer. I’ll see what I can do.
– Thank you for understanding me, Mr. director. If you wouldn’t believe me
that I am not Costel, nobody ever did.
– I believed you from the beginning, because I know Costel. He is very
aggressive, as he could kill somebody, because he doesn’t like the way that man is
looking at him.
– I can’t believe he let my parents in peace, without causing any harm.
– He threatened a little your mother, because she didn’t want to give him the
identity card and money for his trip. He could certainly do another craziness.
– Poor mother, he can’t even think that her son is in prison. He remained with
the idea of giving birth to a buster, who threatened her with death. But she’ll find
the truth soon, she’ll be the happiest woman.
– OK, Nicolae. I’ll go to the procurer tomorrow for arranging everything. I
hope to obtain a positive answer from him.
– I hope it, too, Mr. director.
After discussion, the guardian, who was waiting for me in the hall, entered
hearing the director’s call, for leading me to the cell. That day, we worked until six
o’clock in the evening, going to take a bath after that. We, thirty prisoners, were led
to a spacious room, equipped with ten cabins. All of us were bearded, grease pots,
some of them having itchiness, what could endanger our health, too. Everyone was
busy, some of them shaving the beard, others were bathing, chattering nonsense. I
was feeling awfully through those prisoners, holding the sharp razors in their hands.
They could kill me immediately, but they were respecting me the most massive and
the strongest from the prison… The reality was totally different. What was
infuriating me most of all, was seeing them touching. They seemed to be dement,
because of the long-standing lack of women in their lives. They wanted to touch a
woman body, to kiss it, but… Strange thoughts were bruising me that moments.
“Ah, prison, prison, what is your meaning in this world? You destroy people
morally and physically!”
Because of unsatisfying their body needs, they were looking for desecrating
their bodies between them. It was the biggest shame I could ever imagine, but I was
understanding them. This is the way our body is created: if it needs food, you must
to feed it, if it is thirsty, you must drink it, if it needs sex, then…Poor men, they had
no fault. They were ready to practice the most humiliated things, only for getting
pleasure.
– Costel! called me one of them. Come here, it’s your turn, Marina is naked,
she wants you.
– I am hot, Costel, only for you, said Marina, who actually was Marin.
He was a lean, little man of about forty-five years old.
65
 – Put you clothes on you, foul man! Don’t you ever dare to look like this in
front of me, did you understand? I told him, being totally irritated.
– Costel, it was you who made him woman for the first time, told me one of
them, laughing as a crazy.
– Quiet, you mangy men! I roared. Don’t you ever dare to do such stupidities,
when I’ll enter the bath.
I was understanding their need of women, but…When I was thinking that by
soul is roosted in that dirty body, that was practicing those humiliated things, too, I
wanted to roar of disgusting.
They were watching me wonderingly, not believing that I was against of what I
accepted and even practiced earlier. But, I was not Costel and they didn’t know
that. I would been killed better than to accept such recreating. They didn’t care
about their honor, dignity. You have no dignity or individuality in prison. Being in
grates, your spirit is educated so that you start to believe you are parasite body,
consuming oxygen with no sense. Even if they would have practiced that body
games, for a short period of time, the black spot of their physical shame remains in
their mind forever. How could they ever come close to a woman, being hunted by
the thought of being sometime, a kind of “woman” for some men. It’s absolutely
disgusting. But you can’t do anything in this matter, the phenomenon existed and
continues to exist. And…, though…, they weren’t guilty of the condition that got
into.
During this, I shaved my beard, without hearing any voice. All of them were
hushing, watching me. They wanted to tell me something, but didn’t dare. At seven
o’clock in the evening, the guardians entered and announced us to be ready for
getting out. They next team of prisoners were going to enter the bath. After the
bath, we were led to the canteen, for feeding our bodies with that out of calories,
bad-tasted, but so useful food.
Getting in the cell, where no other prisoners could hear us, my colleagues
began to bombe me with their insults and infamous curses.
– You are a buster, Costel! said one of them.
– You started being doubtful, Bombe advertised me.
– If the others don’t kill you, we’ll do it. We don’t need a blunder head.
– Stop! I cried. There is a little bit more and you’ll get rid of me.
– We can’t get rid of such stupid men as you, until we don’t enshrine them!
roared Bombe, not being able to stop his furor.
– Or you try to be as the real Costel, or we denounce you to the Vampire. He’ll
show you what means to be a man, spoke one of the colleagues, lighting his cigar.
– Are you ramping me, scamp man? I asked him in an impolite way.
– No, Costel, but I think the Vampire is more stronger than you are now. Don’t
try to invent new rules in the prison, cause they will jump on you one day and end
your life.
– By the way, all the prisoners from the bath, are standing for the Vampire
now. So, your team is almost out of people, said Bombe.

66
 – We’ll leave you, too, Costel. We don’t want to risk. You are not able to beat
even a fly, told me one of my comrades, scratching his fingers the way he did it the
first day, when I got into this prison, full of greasiness.
– I hope I’ll get out of prison in the nearest time and I won’t puzzle you
anymore. Your strong and unscarred Costel will come back, I’m only a child.
– Hurry up, or else the Vampire will suck your blood and feed the dogs from
the prison’s yard and the inks that fly around here, with your meat, Bombe was
grinning, while the all others were fleering.
– Don’t rush to stand for that animal, cause Costel will remain the master of all
the prisoners, anyway, I told them.
– Yes, but all the others are practically on the Vampire’s side, even if he is not
as strong as Costel is. More than that, his power is the people, mentioned Bombe.
– Let it be so, anyway, be calm, don’t worry, I encouraged them.
We were chattering till the midnight. One after another, all of us got asleep.
The same cold concrete under us and the same nocturne bugs above us, pinching
pitilessly our bodies. A cold wind was threading through the cell’s bars, making my
skin clamping. Anyway, no nature’s ghost could steal my sleep, even being totally
maltreated.

***

The next day, while working at the canteen’s roof, cause the walls were
already heighten, I noticed two men entering the prison’s gate. One of them being
dressed into a blue shirt, with an ensign on the right arm and black trousers. A thick
belt of the dark green color, was set on his shoulders, and the automaton hanged by
the forearm. I realized immediately that he was the guardian from the entrance to
the prison’s yard. The other man was integrally dressed in black. His head, cheeks
and beard were abundantly covered by a grey hair. He was holding a book in his
right hand. For a moment, I had became the happiest man from the entire world.
The abbot was still caring about my life. He wasn’t affected at all by that night,
when I wanted to kill him. As he arrived to see me, means he forgave me.
Certainly, one day ago, the prison’s director told me I’m gone have guests today. I
wanted to welcome the abbot, but the guardian who was supervising us cried
roughly:
– Stop, Costel, I don’t allow you to move from this place, until I won’t get the
order, did you understand!?
I stopped immediately, cause if you are not obedient, you risk to stay in the
pound for some days. But, what pound, if it was full of water? You expiate the
punishment in your own cell, but not having bed or quilt.
The abbot passed near us, watching compassionately our burned of sun faces.
While this, some of the prisoners dared to play tricks on the old abbot:
– Hey, codger, isn’t your beard sloughing yet? Ha, ha, ha.
The other said:
67
 – If you have such a fur on your face, then you are more chick in the trousers,
ha, ha, ha.
– Shut up, you caddish people! I ruffled, I couldn’t bear them playing tricks on
a poor monk, who passed through the prison years, too.
Suddenly, the monk called happily:
– Nick, where are you?
– Father, there is no person with such a name in this prison, answered the
guardian.
– I recognized his voice. He is somewhere among these prisoners!
– I told you we don’t have such a person here. Let me lead you to the director
better, cause he is back from a trip now.
– Let’s go immediately, said the abbot with his weak by the years’ burden
voice. I talked to your director yesterday and he told me that Nick is here.
They had passed near us, getting close to the another end of the yard,
disappearing finally behind the prison. After some ten of minutes, one of the
guardians came close to me and told me:
– Costel, somebody is waiting for you, follow me.
– The internees who were working with me, stayed confusedly. They weren’t
understanding almost anything. They heard a monk speaking about Nick and they
need Costel, now. They couldn’t catch a thing, because only my cell colleagues
were those who knew the truth.
– I understood, guardian, let’s go, I answered him amiably.
– The monk probably came for your atonement, as your finish should be close!
Am I right?
– I have no idea, I don’t even know him, I lied to the guardian, thinking it
would be better not to tell him much information.
– Listen me, Costel. Did you know about a conspiracy against you, organized
by the Vampire? the guardian asked me while straightening to the visitors’ room.
– And what are they going to do me?
– I think they want to get rid of you forever!
– And what are you for? Holding the automatons only? What for are you
supervising us, if you are not able to prevent the assassinate tentative?
– Everything is very well organized, so you have no idea when the accident is
going to be. The most dangerous and experimental criminals are sitting in this
prison. More than that. Our mission is to prevent your escaping, not to assure your
surviving. We are not told to remember you when to breathe, for not dyeing, ha! he
said indignantly.
He was right in a meaning, as less dangerous criminal as the Vampire or Costel
were, as bigger was the living hope.
Entering the hall where the abbot was waiting me, I closed the door and
exclaimed:
– Thank you, Father, for not forgetting me. After such a big harm caused to the
monastery and even to you…

68
 – Son, I had never believed that Evil is able to do such things. It’s incredible! I
got used to your image, of a nice young man, and now, I see you in a prisoner’s
body, a little bit younger than me.
– Evil, the same as God, has unlimited powers, Father.
– Now is the Evil’s turn to act on the earth, son. His days among us, are
absolutely limited. Soon, God will throw him in Gheena forever. Who’ll face him,
now, will got the God’s praise.
– I hope I’ll get that praise, too, Father. I fought eagerly against Evil and I’ll
fight until the end. I have one step more and I’ll get to the horizon’s bank.
– Sit down, son, I want to ask you something more.
– Ask me, Father, anything, I told him, while sitting down on a quite
destroyed, of a dark-brown color chair, that started creaking under my body’s
weight.
– Son, what do you know about the sheltered in your body criminal?
– Father, he is far away from here. He is probably on the next side of the polar
circle, somewhere in Murmansk.
– Quite to Murmansk?! Unbelievable! he exclaimed.
– He ran far away, not to be found by the police, the buster!
– Hush, Nick, he is innocent, the same as you. You are under the Evil’s hand.
He is not leaving you in peace and him either.
– You’re right, Father. But I’m very angry. I want to snatch his neck and
struggle him.
– Snatch him, you’re being in his body?! Said the abbot.
– The moment I’ll meet my body, I should beat him, until the spirit of Costel
will get out and enter myself.
– Son, you can do something better than to beat him.
– Only a serious beat would help me to turn him out. This will be the only way
of regaining my identity.
– Is not true. Ten years ago, I was to some friends, monks from the Ukrainian
Carpenters. One of them, disclosed me an amazing thing I would like you to try.
– I’m listening you, Father. I had always spoke only precious things.
– My friend told me: “When you’ll meet a sufferer, pronounce three words.
Speak them rarely and clearly, nine times continuously. They are magic words.
– What are those words? I asked a little bit offhand, merely I wasn’t going to
trust some magic words, being used in the fairies with mystic heroes from the past
epochs?!
– They are saint words I hadn’t tell yet. I am a monk, a religious man, I can’t
allow myself to pull out somebody’s soul, until the God won’t take it, but you can
pronounce them, defending a noble purpose, that of obtaining your real body, the
body your mother gave you through birth. Repeat after me, son: Fatigma, Surgine,
Mardiga…etc.
Initially, they seemed to be hard pronounceable words, but after some ten
times repetitions, it printed quite good in my memory. I couldn’t believe that I
would solve something, pronouncing them, but, for every eventuality, I memorized
them.
69
 – Son, I spoke to the director, some minutes ago, he told me he discussed with
the procurer. It is possible for you to get the permission of leaving the country in
the next some days, maximum a week. You’ll be accompanied by two policemen.
– It’s wonderful! I think the director will tell me more details…
– Is Evil visiting you sometimes? the abbot interested.
– He told me he’ll come when I’ll call him, and won’t ever appear in front of
me without invitation.
– This is the last stage of the exam imposed by Evil. Be sure, he won’t oppress
you anymore.
– He told me that, too. His last words are printed in my mind forever: “You
have to pass last exam, now. The exam for life. You can die anytime, so fight for
your life, for individuality”. Father, if I find Costel, I’ll be free forever. I won’t ever
be dominated by the evil Spirits! I exclaimed happily.
– Exactly. You pass this exam and start to write a book about everything that
happened to you. This book won’t amuse the reader, it will educate him, paying
attention to the risk that can kill people, about the demon force that could invade
anyone’s life. Nobody can be sure that Evil will bypass him. This is an angel who
hurts where nobody is waiting. Initially he enters people’s lives benevolently,
namely they let Him in without knowing the ulterior risks. For looking attractive, he
infiltrates in your head the idea of being a successful man, having a lot of
achievements, he attempts you with promises of enormous richness, stamping then
the living hope out. You are young and it would be better to inform your generation
about the real danger the Evil presents for people’s life.
– Father, I want only to get out from this impasse, I don’t care of anything
else…
– Are you aspirations limited, son? Stay away from this condition. You are
young, you should tumble the mountains. You must not be won by indifference.
You are meant to leave a footprint behind your life. I suppose you are conscious of
the inestimable value of things that remain after death?!
– No, Father, I don’t want to aspire at more than I’m able to do.
– Son, that’s why a lot of countries don’t progress. The majority think exactly
as you do…
– Father, I fight atrociously for my individuality, I’m not interested about
anything now.
– Anyway, remember my words as long as you live: “Only fighting you can
achieve something. Define your future purposes and fight for their realization.”
– You know the saying, Father “Long to go widely”, I have no time to
philosophy about life now. I’ll do it when I’ll be old, ha, ha, I said amusingly.
– Nick, I’ll go to the monastery and pray with the monks for you. The prayers’
force is enough strong. We’ll quote your name day and night. God wants you and
you’ll be him.
– I want a totally freedom, Father. I don’t want to be anyone’s obedient.
– God is the freedom, son, He is gladness, pleasure and satisfaction. You
didn’t get the spiritual gifts from Him, yet.
– I’ll get them when I will deserve. I’ll stay unthankful continuously till then.
70
 I had spoken to the abbot about a half and an hour, that finally to enter the
guardian and announce that the visit time is over. Our separation was very nice, the
Father even offering me a chocolate.
– Take it, Nick, thou you look to a man of the third age, you soul is a childish
one. Sweeten your spirit desponded with so much pain.
– Thank you, Father. I’ll teat my cell colleagues to this chocolate, too.
– Do what you want. Son, I’ll try to come the next days, if I won’t be able, I
call the director to find out more information.
– Thank you, Father. I’ll do my best to get out from these hostile walls, even if
I’ll escape this prison, but you pray for me please, this is all I’m asking for.
– Don’t worry son, I’ll take care of you.
– Father, I have one more question, that is oppressing me too much.
– I know what you want to ask me, son. I tried to avoid this subject, cause I’ll
strike you down.
– Tell me about Maria, does she know that I’m in penitentiary?
– She doesn’t know anything about you. She remained with a last miserable
impression and doesn’t want to hear a thing about you. She is morally destroyed.
She’s coming daily to the church and cries desperately. You know, I started to like
her. I realized only now, how kind she is and how innocent she was. She confessed
me everything.
– What did that buster do her?
– He deflowered and left her. She thinks that it was you the one who abused of
her innocence.
My tears were flowing from the big, tired eyes. I was much more distressful
than that little girl.
– Father, tell her at least to come and see that it wasn’t me the one who
dishonored her.
– I don’t believe that she’ll ever come and see you again. However, she won’t
change her opinion about you. She made love to your body, she doesn’t care the
justifications you could bring her. The same Nick, who spoke her ugly, snapped and
told her adieu, remained in her mind. The sweet words you was telling her initially,
are clean off her memory.
– Anyway, tell her the truth. She must know that I am not a scamp.
– I’ll tell her, Nick. Don’t worry. I understand you love her, but it would be
better for you to think at the main problem, that’s bruising you now.
– Maria has the same importance as my body from Murmansk. These are the
thing I care the most and I couldn’t ever give up at.

***

– What does that beard want? Bombe asked me curiously.

– I confessed him, cause I’ll die soon.
– Can you speak seriously, Costel? I don’t joke now?!
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 – I find out about the conspiracy that is being organized against me. The
Vampire comes to kill me. Being in a such insecurity, I can’t know what can
happen to me. That’s why I confessed myself, may be I’ll get to Heaven.
– I see the post is working quickly, said the Bombe unthankfully.
– Is that you the leader of this conspiracy? A? Answer me, caddish miserable?!
– Costel, come closer to me and I’ll whisper you, I don’t want these vagabonds
to hear us.
Actually, they couldn’t hear, cause they were smoking that moment, having a
hot discussion.
What was Bombe knowing and didn’t tell me yet?
– Costel, we want to entrap the Vampire. You was meant to fall in that catcher,
but, actually, he’s the followed one, whispered me Bombe.
– OK. I don’t care about the catcher, but how can the guardian know about
this?
– What guardian?
– The one who took me to the priest!
– A a a a a, Blabber… He is a villain, a blunder head.
– I don’t care how you call him. I’m interested why did he tell me about that
conspiracy? Does he really care about my life?
– I have no idea, said Bombe wonderingly.
– I know the answer. You are the main marionette of this game. I don’t know
your intentions, but if I find out that you really want to get rid of me, I’ll break you
in pieces.
– I swear, my goal is to kill the Vampire, not you.
– Such oaths have no value, especially said by a prisoner. The man who wants
to defense his skin, says all the oaths and promises.
– Is much more convenient to have you, than to have Vampire close to me. I
would be his obedient.
– You think the Vampire will accept this situation? I anticipated everything.
The guardian admonished me of that conspiracy, to defend me from the Vampire,
while the real hit was going to be yours. If you’ll liquidate me, the Vampire will get
rid of you immediately. He doesn’t need the friends of Costel.
– Then, what do you think we should do?
– You don’t have to do anything. I’ll talk personally to the vampire.
– What will you tell him, that I confessed you the secret?
– I’ll tell him what is necessary, don’t worry, I won’t involve you in this
matter.
– Don’t you even try, or the Vampire eats me vividly else.
– Don’t be excited, buddy. There will be quiet and nobody will die, till I am
here. I’ll try to maintain the peace between the prisoners.
– Costel, be prudent when you speak to him. Don’t try to irritate him, he would
be able to kill you. I had a great plan, that would have helped us to get rid of this
twerp forever.

72
 – There is no sense to liquidate those who stand in your way. You kill the first
one and the second one appears. The most efficient method is to make friends from
your enemies. The biggest enemy could become your best friend.
– The Vampire doesn’t belong to those people.
– Initially, Costel, the body that stands in front of you was your enemy, then he
became your friend later. The impossibilities are eventual possibilities. You don’t
have to limit at blind impressions. You can find contoured, divine properties in a
demon skin, while in that one dressed in an angel skin, you can find thousands of
devils.
– Try to speak to him, Costel, only don’t involve me in this deal.
– Be calm, thou I’m a boy of the adolescence age, it doesn’t mean I don’t
know how to act in such situations. I want you to remember me as being a good, apt
man in conflict situations. I want to make you understand that the evilness can be
rebut only through kindness, no other way.
– I don’t stay in your way, Costel, do as your heart is telling you!
After some days of quietness and total lack of news, the prison’s director
invited me to his office.
– Nicolae Covrin, sit down. I have not so good news.
– Am I not allowed to get out of here, Mr. director?
– Unfortunately, no. I did my best, but…You are condemned for too many
crimes. So, you can not obtain the right of going to the Murmansk.
– Then, what are you going to do with me, Mr. director? You won’t let me die
innocent in this penitentiary!
– Nicolae, I’m so sorry for you and I will try to help you. I’ll take a vacation
after a week. That day will be the one of your escaping. Did you understand?
– You’re assuming yourself a quite bib risk, Mr. Director!
– Listen, he whispered me, if you want to get to Murmansk, two days after
your escaping, you give me three thousand dollars. Agree? You’ll be alone from
there.
– I have to announce my parents. I think they will agree. But I have no identity
act, how will I pass the frontiers?
– Trust me, I have friends at all the customs. You’ll pass it freely. When you’ll
get there, my men will leave you and you’ll be free to find your real body. Anyway,
you should act quickly, until you’ll be in a general prosecution and caught. More
than that, Murmansk is a big city, there are few chances for you to find your body.
– I want only to be here. I’ll find him from the ground…
– My obligation is to respect my engagement. Then, you can do whatever you
want. If you’ll be caught by their police, you are gone be extradited to our police
and you’ll be set in our prison, again.
– Mr. director, being free, I’ll profit at maximum of every possible chance to
regain my identity.
– There live more than four hundred thousand of inhabitants in Murmansk. It
will be very hard for you to find Costel, but not impossible either.
– You’re right, Mr. director. Practically, everything is possible if you really
wish it. The desire is being the scourge of many impossible achievements. I think it
73
will be great for you to go to my parents and tell them the truth about their son’s
faith. I should write them something to confirm that you are talking about me. I’ll
write them about the necessary money, too, for being able to go to Murmansk and
the most important to escape this prison, being helped by you.
– Take a pen and a sheet and write them a letter, advised me hopefully the
director. Nicolae, listen to me attentively. Nobody, not even your parents, should
know that you’ll escape the prison with my help. This is a deal between two of us,
only we should know about this, OK?
– I got it, don’t worry, I know to keep a secret.
– Even if the police will catch you, don’t involve me in this matter, or else I’m
over, spoke curtness the director.
– Don’t worry, I assured him one more time.
Taking the pen and the sheet, I started to list the tragic, but real words about
my faith from the penitentiary. I wrote and described it meticulously, every detail
about my happen in prison. But, I changed a little the letter’s end, for hiding the
director’s contribution in my escaping and going to that northern city, I‘ve never
dreamed to get. Sometimes, I take that crumpled sheet and read again it’s content,
not being able to believe that I could lie to my parents. Those who contributed at
my personality, had no idea that the money they were going to give me, were for
someone’s pocket and not for my trip to Murmansk. Finally, it was not very
important that moment, but the regaining of my beautiful, supple, out of lines and
cicatrices body. The mark of a compromised destiny, obeyed to damnations, was
printed on the Costel’s body, while on my body, you could see only tender signs of
a destiny being at the start of his way, fallowing to value his potential.
– Nicolae, when I’ll be back from your parents, I’ll present you the escaping
plan. Till then, don’t make somebody notice that you spend the last days among
your colleagues. Behave as a mature man, who hits at the established moment, you
got it?
– I got it, Mr. director, I said enthuse.
– Go to you comrades, now. Come in guardian!
As usually, there was a guardian entering after the door and leading me to the
cell. To our way back, he said me curiously:
– I see you passing through the director office, almost everyday! What does a
prisoner have to talk about to a chief?
– Such a refined mister could not be friend with a clod like me. I can be only
the devil’s friend.
– Don’t you tell me, Costel. You think I’m not noticing your relationship with
the director?
– It only seems to you, it seems to you. The director is simply instructing me
how should I behave, I risk to stay in the pound else.
– Now is the perfect moment, said the guardian.
– Why do you say so?
– Cause the last days, all the water from the penitentiary’s basement was
pumped up, there were installed tubes and the water from the underground springs,

74
will drain into the well, behind the prison. Your dark, cold nests are prepared
already, ha, ha, ha.
The guardian, a tall man, with weapon and strong arms, was daring to offend
me, because and didn’t have any chance to face him. The fact of throwing
something in his head, was excluded. What about the close handed fight, I had
doubts I could win him, or may be I wasn’t a real dare-devil, the way Costel was,
who inspired fear and respect not only among the prisoners, but among the
guardians, too.
– I’m used to these pounds, especially now, when is so hot outside. I could rest
in peace, at the coolness, the much as I want.
– Costel, you changed a lot! You wasn’t going even death in that abominable
rooms, before!
– Betimes, the age changes the people, you see it changed me a little, but this
doesn’t mean I’m dieing already.
– I don’t even doubt. Men like you, aren’t dieing so easy. Only the electric
chair could stamp your life out.
– Good for me, you don’t have one of it here, ha, ha, I laughed with a cattish
satisfaction.
– Hey, as you aren’t you afraid!
– You would keep me there for two weeks, till I’ll have my bent rammed and I
won’t die.
– We’ll find your cure if necessary.
– May be I will die finally and I’ll get to the Walhalla, too.
– What’s this? asked wonderingly the guardian.
– Only I can get there, people like you can’t even touch the heaven’s gates.
Walhalla, according to the old tautens, is the place of some splendid fights. My
entire life, I fought with some ducks, I’m tired already. So, after my death, I’ll
become the citizen of some prairies and jungles, you can only dream about. I’m
weary of you, bogglers…
– Costel, you are going too far, you offend me.
I wanted to act as a thumper for getting close to the Costel’s behavioral
similitude, but I think I went too far. Even the unscarred Costel wasn’t exaggerating
from the verbal point of view. Realizing the committed mistake, I tried to repair it,
but we got already to the cell’s door, the guardian telling me to enter quickly, cause
he was in a hurry.
– We’ll talk about it later, Costel, I’m busy now. What about the electric chair,
we’ll bring one especially for you, ha, ha, ha.
In the night of the same day, I had a strange dream. I woke up wonderingly,
but happy. It seemed incredible to me, but I dreamed Maria. She was so beautiful
and so in love with me, so that she was rifting my cheeks with her kisses. It looked
like there was nothing happening between us, only a small quarrel we were
forgetting about. I was holding her in my young, but strong arms, feeling her breast
close to mine, feeling her thighs, not hard and not soft, in my hands. We were
looking in the each other’s eyes, without saying a word. The brightness from our
glances was the non-verbal language we were speaking through. She was dressed in
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white, and suddenly, under her thick cloth, appeared some small wings,
transforming her into an angel. After holding her a little in my arm, very slowly,
with an adieu gesture, she flew. While she was rising in the air, I was trying to stop
her, holding her white long cloth, but vainly. She came of me, leaving my empty
arm straighten to the highness. I followed her with my glance until she had melted
deep into the sky. In a moment, I had the wish of transforming myself into an angel,
too, for being able to find her. Though it would have been unsuccessful my seeking,
because it’s impossible to find a finite thing in an infinite sky. A last idea appeared
in my mind, “Let it be. I’ll wait her to come back. She’ll visit me as long I will
survive. But, what does this existence mean? Who needs it? On the other side, if the
existence would have not exist, there were no us, people, today. And though, what
is existence? Certainly it con not be inexistence. It can’t be something it doesn’t
exist. It exists, because it supposes itself the presence of something existent. An
example about this would be us, people. We aren’t existing only as long as we live,
but after the death, too. Through our memorizes and facts. As long as somebody
remembers us, we are existing…
A simple stone, deep in the ocean, is existing, even if we don’t know about it’s
existence. Although, the inexistence, this definition, that supposes or even denies
everything about existence, exists. The existence can be considered equivalent to
the sufferance. And though, why is the man meant to live more sufferance than
gladness? May be we should seek the pleasure in it? The same as people, the
phenomenon we feel or live are divine. The providence gave us the sufferance to be
happy of it, while we, after some psychological “mutations”, began to find the
gladness only in the things opposite to sufferance. I would even like to be glad
about losing my body, losing Maria, sitting in the jail, but I tell you sincerely, I
couldn’t. I would have like to be contagious with the sickness “happy every hard
moment”, but I couldn’t, because I was too healthy. While I was thinking about all
of this, I got asleep again. I was feeling so good in the soft bed, but so miserable
being itched by a bug. I was thinking about these bizarre insects and I wanted to
laugh. I, staying in that cell, was called prisoner, but these untiring bugs, who never
sleep, thou we are living together, they are fee. By the way, I forgot to tell you that
there were beds installed in our cell, already, having the luxury to rest our bone on
something soft. Getting asleep, again, I saw the abbot’s face. Having a
compassionate face, he spoke to me:
– Son, you are asking yourself about existence. The verb “to exist”, itself,
supposes existence.
– I know, Father…
– You are still young and you don’t know many things, yet. I’ll make you a
man with a superior rationality, son. Your knowledge won’t stop here. I’ll help you
morally and I’ll lead your steps to wisdom and knowledge. A man can be
considered wise and intelligent, only when he knows the unknown, but you don’t
know yourself, yet, thou you are known by many people.
– Learn me, Father, cause I don’t want to limit myself to what I’m possessing
now. I want mountains of knowledge in my head.

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 – First, son, I’ll tell you some words about the existence you are trying to
understand, after what, I’ll address you the questions, which are being a border
between the stupidity and wisdom. Who doesn’t find their answer, will stay on the
land of stupidity forever, and who finds it, makes the first steps in the wisdom’s
world.
– I’m listening you, Father.
– Everything that’s being born in our imagination, even a simple word, being
used for more millenniums, anyway it exists on the passive existence territory.
Although, the existence of fly can’t be contested, if there won’t be wings. Is known
the fact that an helicopter can fly, helped by a screw. The fly will continue to exist,
even if the wings would have disappeared long ago. So, the existence is an
appearance. It doesn’t reflect the reality, but something else.
– You’re right, Father.
– I’ll put you the questions, now. Please, think before answering. Is not
necessary to answer me now.
– It depends of their difficulty, I said impatiently.
– Why don’t the people build their houses, after their body shape?
– Because…
– Hush, let me finish, stopped me irritate the abbot, continuing his questions.
– Why do the snails have the houses after their body shape? Who do people
have children who looks like them? Why do birds make eggs, firstly? How does the
bird know that a being like her will get out, if she clutches that bizarre egg? Why do
the fishes displace with the tail and the dogs need legs for this? What is there tail
for? I know your answer, you’ll say the fishes are adapted to the aquatic medium,
while the dogs to the terrestrial medium…, but don’t hurry, cause you may be
wrong. The hydra exists only in the aquatic medium and displaces with the little
feet, not needing tail. Why is it known that the legs are only for moving? A desk or
a chair won’t ever move, even having more than a hundred legs! Now, you’ll tell
me that these are nonsense, but be sure, you can get to the wisdom answering the
inconsiderate questions. This way, you get used to find logic answers, having
arguments for every ridiculous question.
– Do you know the answer of all these questions?
– It doesn’t matter if I know it. Being wise, doesn’t mean to know all the
answers. It’s good to invent questions about everything.
– After how long will I be wise, Father?
– Many of us are born wise, but don’t know it till the death. The others become
wise, immediately they give up at the human stupidity. Everything depends of
people.
Telling these, the abbot disappeared from my dream. It was a very real dream.
The abbot told me things, that made me really think. I had to meditate profoundly
about those heard and to adopt a firm decision. It was the time to give up the mental
puerility once and forever. More than these, I wanted to find out something else. It
was the existence. The existence is a subtle thing, hard to be understood, but I did
it. The existence of veins isn’t incidentally. It exist because, they are the most
efficient way of the oxygenate blood’s transmission to the body’s cells. The nostrils
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were created for breathing, the eyes – for seeing, the unhappiness – the way to
happiness. So, the existence is not the one we think it is. It reflects something
totally different. It is the key-word, that includes a range of truths and realities, hard
to be percept, but not impossible.
The morning came. A cool, clean air was threading the cell through the grated
hole. While I was still meditating about the last night dream, I saw the prison’s
director, accompanied by a guardian, approaching my cell. The director seemed to
be extremely tauten.
– Guardian, free Costel of the cell and bring him to bath. I have something to
discuss with you two.
The guardian did what he said. Got in the cell and took me out. Seeing us
inside of the bath hall, the director told me:
– I was to your parents, even yesterday. Everything is all right, I gave them the
letter and they recognized your writing. They insisted to come and see you, but I
told them it would be better to wait until your problem will be definitively over.
Nicolae, this guardian is your guide, nobody must know about this. He’ll help you
to escape the prison, understood?
– I understood, Mr. director. Will it be the next week? I asked him.
– No. You’ll escape even today. You should do a horridness, for being
incarcerated. This way, everything will happen according to the plan and nobody
will have doubts, is it clear?
– Yes, Mr. director, I understood.
– Now, get him back to the cell, he ordered to the guardian and you, Nicolae,
seek a reason for being incarcerated. The guardian will explain you more detailed
what you should do, while you’ll be send to the pound.
Telling me that, the director opened the bath hall’s door and left. After him, we
left the room, too. My colleagues were still sleeping in the cell. Nobody noticed my
momentary absence. All that scene happened so quickly, that I didn’t manage to
think about a perfect escaping. I was too good for making a craziness in the prison.
How could I beat someone, without any reason? But, actually, my purpose is the
most important. I was thinking to beat the Vampire, so that he won’t ever dare to
touch me. The gladness I was going to fell after escaping would have weigh a
hundred times more than the atonements that I beat the Vampire. More than that, If
I hadn’t beat him, I was risking to be beaten or even struggled with bestiality by
him. Costel could do these, too, but he was in Murmansk, those moments. What
was he doing there? Certainly, he was not working cause it didn’t characterize
him?! The thought he could commit a crime, or a plunder ad be set in their prison,
scared me most of all. In a such a situation, the plan of regaining my propriety was
compromised. Finally, let him do whatever he wants, but not to be caught by the
cops, until I get there.
While I arranged my thoughts and plans, the buds from the cell woke up.
Immediately they got up, Bombe and his comrades, infixed a cigar into their mouth
and started to speak, fuming the room. They weren’t even thinking that I could
speak something with the prison’s director, that morning. While Bombe was asking
me how I slept, a formidable idea appeared in my mind.
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 “I will trump a fight with Bombe and nobody will doubt anything”, but I gave
up that thought immediately, cause the director asked me not to find anyone,
anything. So I had to act according to the anterior set plan, namely to beat the
Vampire a little. Speaking rightly, he even deserved a beat, cause they had an
engagement with Bombe, to kill me. While that, we were taken and led to the
canteen, for having the breakfast. As usually, you could see the Vampire there, too.
He looked to be very calm that day, he had a clear face and some colder glances.
Only meeting his eyes, I was feeling a coldness and evilness coming from him,
making me understand that he is ready to struggle me every moment. He wasn’t
even doubting that I was going to do it first. Around the long table, over fifty
prisoners are drinking their tea and devouring the black bread and butter slivers.
The cell colleague of Vampire, who was watching me with the same evilness as his
comrade did, was sitting opposite to me. It was the perfect moment for me to act,
but how could I start? I wasn’t enough courageous to beat him. An interior fear
obeyed me perfectly. I wasn’t able to rise even a finger against him. My tender age
was telling it’s word, thou I owned a body much more over the youth age. I was
holding the tea beaker, unmoved. I was so concentrated, that I forgot about eating. I
lost the taste of eating something. A little ball of an apple size was standing in my
chest, that I couldn’t even swallow a drop of water. The big fight was going to start
between the chef of the prisoners – Costel and the leader of the young generation of
prisoners – the Vampire. I was conscious that he was a strong fighter and that is
going to be a serious fight, but even if he was sufficiently strong, the victory’s
balance was more inclining to my side. For getting rid, or at least to diminish the
stress that was conquering me, I was telling myself continuously: “Nick, you are
strong, Nick, you are the winner.” Repeating these words, that were encouraging
me a little, I stood on my feet, holding the beaker. I was looking despiteful at the
Vampire who was eating tastefully the bread sliver. I pushed my chair back, making
place for passing. I had made a circle around our table, then another circle of the
other table, having about fifty prisoners around it. Four guardians were watching
the peaceful breakfast of the prisoners. You couldn’t hear there an intensive talk.
Only the beakers that were touching the table, stamped the silence out. Suddenly,
one of the guardians told me to have a seat, cause I’m not a very important
personality to go round the canteen.
– Your seat, Costel, is somewhere among the other prisoners, sit down and
drink your tea.
Turning back to watch him, I saw it was the guardian, who was going to help
me to escape. He understood that after some moments, a fight was going to happen
there, that’s why he tried to play a good role, for not making someone to observe
that the following spectacle was anterior arranged. In a way, he wanted to maintain
“the order”. In the tavern’s room, quite spacious, with the large windows
“decorated” with grates, the morning sun lights were threading, but, even so, some
somber nuances were insisting in my glances, seeming to be a bad sign.
– I’ll win, I’ll win and I’ll escape then, ha, ha, ha, I was whispering myself,
walking easily among those two long, abounded by prisoners tables.

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 Costel had everybody’s respect there, only the Vampire didn’t want to
recognize his authority. Nobody dared to watch me, only Bombe was throwing me
a glance impassibly, not understanding what I was intending to do.
– Costel, sit down! I heard the same voice.
In order to sit down, I straightened suddenly to the Vampire and cracked his
head with the beaker I was holding. He didn’t manage to defense himself, cause he
was sat at the table, and I attacked him from the back, as a boggler. In order to fall
down, as I thought, he stood on his feet and raved against me as a beast. He hit me
mercilessly, that I felt my stomach cramping because of pain.
– You, scamp Costel, I kill you in a minute. You are a sickening, belly stupid!
he exclaimed furiously.
– You are wrong, foolish Vampire, you have no idea whom are you fighting
with, I told him while falling on him as a huge stone. Your second are counted,
hangdog.
The was a circle of about one hundred prisoners around us. More than a half of
them, were scanning the name “Vampire, Vampire, beat Costel in the cemetery,
Vampire, Vampire, beat Costel in the cemetery etc.” There was a few people
who was standing for me, Bombe being one of them.
– Costel, kill Vampire, kill him, kill him! he cried enthuse. He was sure I’ll put
him down.
Thou I was enough strained, I could recognize the voice that was claiming for
me and really that cry, was motivating me to fight with body and soul, for
immobilizing that wild animal. I fisted him right in the face, hoping I’ll put him
down. Suddenly, I noticed my adversary holding a little knife in his right hand.
Probably someone of those around us crawled it.
– Costel, your time is over. Should I stab it in your heart, or in the belly, fatty,
ha, ha, ha. Tell your last desire.
– Dirty man, are you afraid to fight honestly?
– I don’t even want to touch you, itching man. This little knife will vent your
calf blood that flows through your veins.
– You are offending me, felon?
Saying these, I plunged myself into him, again. Because of the hotness, in an
involuntary way, I pushed my right hand’s fingers into his eyes, and with my left
hand, I held the hand he was having the knife in. Being in this situation, I kneed his
belly for some times. Suddenly he fell on his knees. In two seconds, he plunged on
my legs, stabbing the knife into the thigh of my left leg. A racking pain was
bruising me. An abundant flood of blood was threading my thin trousers, reddening
it till to the shoes. It hurt me awfully, but I was still fighting. While this, with a
superhuman effort, I pulled the knife out and straightened to Vampire, who was
already standing, being prepared to face the riposte. He had a closed eye, I caused
him pain, probably, after I pushed my fingers there.
– Be brave, Costel! Kill this felon! cried the Bombe, being accompanied by
some tens of prisoners, too.
I had noticed all those who stood for Vampire, hushing. They understood that
their chef’s life was almost over, seeing the knife I was holding tight into my hands.
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I had never killed a man, thou I tried. I began trembling of fear. While my fans
were calling me to kill him, an inside force, even divine, was telling me to stop.
While I was demurring, the four guardian involved in, being helped by other five
men, for stabilizing the tense situation.
– All of you to the wall, hands up, quickly! cried one of the guardians.
Suddenly, the circle around us, decomposed, staying only the Vampire and me.
We were watching hatefully and despiteful each other. I noticed that the Vampire
was desperate because of the failure he passed through. While thinking about
having nothing in common with that prisoner, I had felt one of the gendarme
handcuffing me, pulling the knife off my hands. I knew that I’ll be free after some
moments, and I was sorry to leave without telling the Vampire that I’m not the one
Costel, who is hated by everyone, but I am Nicolae, a boy of not more than twenty
years. I didn’t manage to think about something more, because the director entered.
He ordered with a harsh voice to the guardian, with whom help I should escape, to
take me immediately to the pound. The Vampire together with the others prisoners,
were led to their cells.
– Costel, there is nobody in the hall, move quickly till we enter the bath.
We ran in a rush, on the less lighted hall, until we were sheltered by the bath
door. Immediately we entered it, the guardian locked the door and told me:
– Costel, look, run this way. All the doors are unlocked, specially for you to
get out.
– I’ll get behind the prison?
– Yes. Directly near the outdoor is installed a cistern, it’s empty. You lift the
cistern head and get inside of it. Tonight, a truck will come and take it. Everything
is arranged after this. Leave, now, I go immediately into the pound. I must trump
everything, as I had bet you into a cage of those dark and wet. I’ll come back and
lock all the doors then. Leave.
I was completely sweaty. The clothes were glued of my body, because of the
humidity. I had opened the door of a cabin, where I had a bath sometime. Another
door was there. Opening it, I entered a narrow, dark hall. I was in a hurry for not
wasting too much time. Every wasted minute could fail the plan set by the director
and the guardian. Under the heaviness of the quick steps, a strong, cadent plod was
getting out, but was less possible for the noises to be heard by someone. Getting at
the end of the hall, I saw a thick wall instead of the door. Throwing rapidly my
glances to the others parts, I had noticed on the both sides a door. I was thinking
which of them I should open. Finally, after some moments of hesitations, I had
remembered that the guardian had unlocked only the doors I should pass through,
the others being locked. I had tried to open the first door, but it was locked. Pulling
the second door handle, it opened. I tore down farther. At the end of that hall was a
big, metal door. It was the outside door. I opened it and finally got out. Three
meters far from the door I closed cautiously, was the cistern, the guardian told me
about. It was very big. I tried to climb it, but it was impossible. It was hard for me
to rise my giant body. Looking to a side, I had noticed the ladder lolled against the
penitentiary’s wall. I installed it near the cistern in less than a minute and I climbed
up. Watching around me, I was wondered that nobody was in the surrounding. An
81
unordinary silence was dominating this hidden place of the prison. The sky was of a
dark blue, that you couldn’t resist to watch it. “A perfect day for an escaping”, I
told to myself. For not wasting the time, I pushed the cistern head out and threaded
into it. I bulled the cistern head back, after that. To my wonder, there was water in
the cistern. It was up to my knees. It was cold and very comfortable to stay in it! I
rinsed my face, cause the transpiration emanated by my massive body, was
threading into my eyes and mouth. And it was still morning…Early in the morning.
When I was thinking that I should wait into this barrel till the sunset, I wanted to
roar. I sat down in the water and it’s level was over my chest. I tried not to make
any noise, for listening every move from the exterior. I was afraid not to be found
by a guardian.” But, what could he seek here?” I asked myself unthankfully. The
sun was rising upper and upper to the sky, but the water and even the cistern was so
hot, that I thought I was sweltering. I was hardly breathing, because of the high
temperature, but I had no choice. I think I had stayed unmoved for more than four
hours. The silence echo that governed the interior of dark, hot cistern, was sounding
continuously into my ears.
A violent hunger was attacking my stomach. I was used to eat according to a
plan established by the prison’s direction. Thou I think the breakfast time was not
coming, I was half starved. Probably, because of the fact that I was finding in the
water for a while. I was hardly resisting till now, but what could I do till the night?!
I was so heated and hungry, that the idea of freedom wasn’t impressing me
anymore. I didn’t want even to arrange my thoughts. I could devour anything, only
to calm my hunger.
While I was mislaying in that torrid abyss, I remembered I left the ladder lolled
against the cistern, what could make the guardians suspicious. The first idea I had,
was to rise up and push the ladder down. Said and made. In comparison to
the cistern’s exterior, it was much easier for me to rise and hang by it’s walls,
inside of it. I positioned comfortably my legs, one by a side and the another by the
other side and with the hands, I preserved very slowly the cistern head. The sun
lights threaded strongly inside. Concomitantly, a mass of fresh, clean water
threaded inside, too, replacing the ham, even greasy one. When I was almost getting
my head out, I heard someone speaking. The voice was coming not far from thirty
meters. I had stayed speechlessly for some seconds. I had forgot about my hunger,
about the insupportable odor inside the cistern, about me being an escaper. With a
gentle, quite slow gesture, I bent my head and turned it off. I was aghast.” What if
the one who was speaking, was straightened to the cistern? What should I do? The
felon gendarmes will discover me”, I said to myself despairingly.
– God! save me, please, I told myself desperately.
I sat in the same position, crossing my hands in despair. Even if I was closed
hermetically, I could listen every outside word. My fear was starting to come true.
Those voices were closer to my stash. They seemed known to me, but strange the
same time. I was so scared, that my heart was seeming to skip from my chest, or
even to stop.
– Climb and see if Costel is inside or not?

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 According to all the probabilities, the prison’s director should be there,
because nobody could know where I’m finding. With slow, heavy steps, someone
was climbing the ladder’s stairs.
– The blunder head, couldn’t even pushed the ladder away. He is so incapable.
A forte hand preserved the cistern head away. I was listening to their voices
and I couldn’t understand whether the director and guardian were, or not? For
avoiding all the risks, I sat on my back and got my whole body, the head
inclusively, into water. Even so, I could hear their discussion. One of them
exclaimed disappointed:
– Costel is not here, where could he be hidden?
– Look very attentively, if he’s not here, let’s go, we must not be seen here.
Then, I recognized the voice, it was of the director. Without waiting, I rose my
head out and exclaimed:
– Mr. director, Costel is here, he was sank in the water.
While this, the director climbed the cistern, too, and old me cautiously:
– Tonight, when the truck will come after the cistern, you have to jump after
five minutes you’ll get out of the prison’s yard. From there, my men will take care
of you, you got it?
– I got it, Mr. director.
– Stay here unmoved, till the evening, don’t you dare to get out and to be seen
by somebody.
– Don’t worry, I’ll do what you ask me to do.
After this short discussion, the guardian and my “saving man”, Mr. director,
left. Declining the cistern, the took the ladder away and lolled it against the prison’s
wall as was before. The director’s coming was inexplicable. He acted like a child.
He wasn’t prudent at all. He elaborated a quite simple escaping plan. To our luck,
nobody noticed what really happened, but the risk was still too big. The most naive
move he did, was his coming to the cistern. He could be seen every moment by one
of the other guardians.
What about the cistern, I was finding securely. In such a shelter, not even the
great God could see me. I was safety. The caring attitude of the director made me
very glad. I noticed an anxiety condition on his face, while he was climbed on the
cistern. If he wouldn’t care about my life, he didn’t risk his integrity and reputation,
only for seeing me. What he was most motivated of, were the money set for this
game. Three thousands dollars. Even if wasn’t apparently an exaggerate sum, in my
vision, it was enormous, because it was paid for almost nothing. My presence in the
prison was a simple happening. An unhappy one. I was absolutely innocent. I
hadn’t committed any infraction till then, that to deserve to stay behind the grated.
But, if it was a prescribed plan, that I had to realize till the end, I had no choice.
You can’t play with the superior forces. They model your walking and behavior
anywhere. At a moment, I even start thinking that we, the human being, are being
made from the evil’s and weal’s substance. While developing, we grow physically,
spiritually, these substances begin to intensify their contribution at our creating. If
the weal persists, we become good, too, if the evil – we become evil. What about
the persons who have a balance of weal and evil, the Providence or the Evil tries to
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involve directly in their lives, for attracting them by their side finally. There was no
reason to philosophy about these life subtleties. I had to face a hard reality and
There was no place for the philosophic subtleties.
There is still persisting in my mind, the disappointed, full of evilness face of
the Vampire, but I had no way back to explain him that I’m another person at all,
not Costel. If I had been in prison having my real body, probably I had been one of
the best friends of Vampire, but…He was enough young, not even having thirty
five years, but he wasn’t sufficiently trained to fence Costel. Thou I was not very
experimented in wrestling, thanked to Costel’s muscular body, I won him.
I was lied in the warm water, touching attentively the leg’s injury. Initially, I
wasn’t feeling so hard the pain of the knife’s penetration into my meaty leg, but
being in that “incubator”, the pain was intensifying. That reason indisposed me a
lot.
– It will be OK, it will be OK, I was exclaiming. I can’t be won by the pain
provoked by a graze.
I was feeling like in a steam bath. I was sweating continuously. The T-shirt
with the Fiend’s number printed on it, wasn’t scaring me anymore. It was the same
wet as me, only in case of a long being in water, it could putrefy, while me, having
that massive body would have resist even a year.
In my dark and hot “insulator”, I mean the cistern, I had the occasion and the
possibility to think about the abbot, too, who was probably praying for me those
moments, in “the monastery from the hills”, and about my parents, too, who missed
me probably, and especially about Maria, whom I was always thinking of. Even if I
was not sure that we could restart our relation, anyway, I was so impatient to see
her and may be to clarify some things, I was not actually responsible of. I was the
innocent marionette used by the Evil as long as he wished. Maria, certainly, would
have understand that I had no fault for her sufferance, while I could never
understand her. Thou my body was present at her deflowering act, my spirit wasn’t
there. This thought will admonish me forever. It seemed inadmissible to me to
accept something that wasn’t only mine. On the other side, Maria had no fault of
those happened. She did what we planned to do. She couldn’t even dream that in a
such short time, the things could change so quickly. From an indescribable intense
happiness, to fall into the pain’s and disappointment’s nets. Yes, the life reality is
very difficult to be changed. For fighting against the troubles, that stand along your
destiny, you need to sacrifice yourself, but there are very few of us, who accept this
idea. Is presumes painful sufferings, for gaining after this, or regaining the
sensation of the spiritual gladness, or of the body pleasure. At a moment, I had
thought that it would be better not to pay attention to the important things of my life
and to relax my body in “the cistern of freedom”. Thou I was still in the prison’s
yard, I was free. I was not anymore in the cell locked with bolts and fully infested
with all kind of bugs. Thou the smell of the greasy water was impossible, anyway it
was better than in the prison. I remember the word of Dimitrie Cantemir, who said
that “is better to live in a cottage of your country, than in a palace of the strangers.”
Navigating through the thoughts and ideas, I got asleep the way I was sitting.

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 My sleep was affected by a noise. Excepted it, a strong shake moved me so
forcefully from my place, that I fell on the another side of my body. Feeling my
head under the water, I blenched and woke up. The truck was trailing the cistern.
My escaping was almost done. A few minutes more were keeping me apart from
the exterior. The truck was straightening quite slowly, even stopping after this. But
I heard a call from the exterior, what made me understand where I was finding.
– Open the gates!
I was at the prison’s gateway. I was going to get out and jump from the cistern.
The tractor driver restarted his way. He wasn’t displacing fast and either too slowly.
With a precise rhythm, I was counting one, two, three, four, five…, sixty; one, two,
three, four, five…, sixty. I was counting the minutes rigorously, for not jumping too
early, or too late. I stood on my feet and lolled my hands against the cistern head,
almost being ready to pushed it and get out. My heart was beating like crazy. My
feet were soften up as I thought I can’t feel them anymore. The counting was
keeping up. Fifty five, fifty six, fifty seven, fifty eight, fifty nine, sixty. The five
minutes were over. Pushing strongly the cistern head I took it off. Helped by the
hitches of a strong man, I rose up the cistern head. There was dark outside. We
were finding on a road with a relative dense circulation. The truck was displacing
on the band near the border of the roadway, what could facilitate my skip.
Counting to three, I was throwing myself, as a real stand-in, on the grass from
the border of the way. I was rolling myself, till I got hurt by a block of big
dimensions, that was laying somewhere in the grass. The hurt was quite strong, but
it didn’t stop me from standing up. What got really hurt after the impact with the
block, was my giant, hungry belly and only it. I was watching scared all around me,
looking as a real escaper. The cars, having a speed of more one hundred km per
hour, were wheezing from the both directions of the roadway. But the tractor, I was
transported with, was having the same speed. I followed it, until had disappeared
among the cars that were formicating the roadway. Being puzzled, I had no idea
where I should go. I was afraid to walk out on the road’s border. I thought anyone
who could see me, would understand that I’m a prisoner. But, from a moment to
another, the men of the prison’s director should come, whose task was to send me
to Murmansk! I hadn’t staggered a minute more and I unclothed the striped T-shirt,
marked with that horrible number – six hundred sixty six. I oozed and put it under
my arm, after what I walked out on the road’s border, straightening very slowly.
Doing like this, I could be easier observed by my guides. A little wind was blowing,
threading my bones. I was looking in front of me and behind, seeing nothing
promising. All the cars were passing speedily near me, paying no attention to me. A
doubt was suddenly flashing me: “And what if the director lied to me? What if he
took my money and that’s all? In case of being caught, they’ll set me in prison and
the coon director will affect himself that he doesn’t know a thing? So, in such
situation, my youth and freedom are over. There is no more chance to see my
dreams became alive. I’m almost a looser.”
While thinking at all the bizarre things, having a real chance to become true, I
turned my head behind. I had noticed a car, one hundred and fifty meters away fro
me, displacing very slowly to my direction. “Could they be?”, I asked me suddenly.
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“I don’t stop even if could be them. I’ll walk straight impassibly.” An inexplicable
happiness appeared in my mind, making me whistling satisfied. Thou I was
oppressed by the injury from the leg, I tried to keep going in a healthy way. I didn’t
want to exteriorize my pain, cause I considered myself being a veritable man, who
couldn’t be provoked by a simple graze.
“The lucky car”, that was going behind of me, was next to me, now. It stopped.
One of the passengers from the back banquette, opened the car’s door and cried me:
– Costel, get in quickly, we don’t have much time.
Not waiting to be asked, I entered the black Jeep and left farther. There were
only two men there. Both of them were enough strong, may be even stronger than
me.
– Costel, take and put these clothes on you. Throw your ragged trousers. You
have a fenny smell.
– I know, I know. I stayed for a whole day in the reeking water of a cistern.
– I’m Dorel and the bald one who’s driving is Sasha, ha, ha, ha, said the man
next to me. We’ll share the room of this modest, narrow Jeep for two or three days.
– I don’t think it’s modest.
– It’s a car like all the others, said Dorel, only that the serious men are used to
walk by it often, ha, ha.
– Costel, what is your favorite music? asked me Sasha.
– In such a moment of glory, I would listen to some folk music. There had
been a while since I didn’t listen to it.
– Then, let it be folk music, he said satisfied.
A party atmosphere was persisting in the car’s salon. Dorel, Sasha and me
were extremely glad. I had what to be glad for, while they, less probably to be glad
for me. But it didn’t matter anymore. I was close to my body and I even had the
reason to be thanked.
While this, I threw that old trousers and put on the sport suit offered by Dorel.
Instead of the seedy shoes, I had got a pair of quite pretty trainers. Dorel gave me a
perfume, too, for sending off the acrid smell that was emanating from my body.
– We’ll stop near a mere, tomorrow, to shave your beard, Sasha told me,
continuing to highball the car.
– Friends, don’t you have a piece of bread? I’m hungry like a dog, I asked
them pleadingly.
– We’ll stop near a shop and buy something, said Sasha.
– Do you have some money? asked me joking Dorel.
– I didn’t manage to take my salary, I replied smiling.
– We’ll tick. We’ll give the money on our way back, replied Sasha.
– Ha, ha, the idea is super! assigned Dorel. Having a thick scruff, doesn’t mean
we don’t have to pay.
– I didn’t mean that, Sasha was justifying himself. I’m just speaking some
small stupidities, for not hushing. It doesn’t cost me anything. Will get to a fuel
station in ten minutes. There is a small, non-stop market, too. We’ll fuel the car and
feed Costel.
– As you say, driver, Dorel exclaimed happily.
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 Really, in less than ten minutes, we approached the place Sasha was talking
about. The fuel station and the mini-market were fifteen meters away from the road,
both of them lighted from all the sides by multicolor, little bulbs.
– Costel, come with me, said Dorel, no, it’s better to stay here, we don’t have
to risk. I go by myself to buy something.
While Sasha was pissing, Dorel came back with a kilo of wiener, two breads, a
mustard and a bottle of vodka, plus one of mineral water. Seeing Dorel inside the
car, Sasha put in the speed and pushed the accelerator down. I had the impression
that the Jeep tires were not even touching the roadway. The atmosphere from the
salon was still maintaining quite agreeable. Hearing the music, we were devouring
the vodka. While Sasha was driving the car, Dorel and me were drinking the bottle
off. We were water-logged. Prating, criticizing, judging the first and the second, we
got asleep. Even we were sleeping, the Jeep was continuing to make shorter the
distance between Moscow and the far town Murmansk. Sasha, who had a part of
the money given by me for my freedom, was trying to end his mission as quick as
possible and come back into the country. He seemed to be more serious than Dorel.
He was more distant in affirmations, but not inaccessible. You could talk to him,
but only about serious things. You could see him smiling very seldom. I don’t think
someone else would accept to lead me till the destination, crossing all the frontiers
with me, having no identity card. Especially that I was a lifer.
– Hey, drunkards, wake up! The sun is lighting your back!
– What time is it? Dorel asked sleepily.
– It’s almost eight in the morning. Costel, get up and shave your beard, you
look to a priest of seventy years old.
– Sasha, where are we? I asked hoarsely.
– We entered the Ukraine. You are lucky we crossed the frontier when some of
my friends were on duty. Otherwise, you weren’t staying like nubs. Stand up,
quickly, we don’t have too much time.
– My head is rotating as a screw, Dorel exclaimed, quaffing the mineral water.
– Jump in the lake and you’ll feel better, brother, told him Sasha.
When I opened the door, an amazing sight appeared to me. I declined to the
lake. A little, cool, morning wind was nesting into my dense beard, ruffling it.
Taking the razor and soap Sasha offered me, I began to clean my face of that black,
dense hair. I rinsed myself with cold, crystalline water, after what, I went straight to
the Jeep, where those two were mumbling something.
– Hey, boys, are we leaving or are we still devouring the morning coolness?!
– We are not staying a minute more, cause we have to get to the next frontier
this afternoon. If you want to cross successfully the frontier, we have to catch our
men, or else we are going to wait two days.
– It means so much to have friends who want to help you! I said meditatively.
– I traveled these roads for many times, serving these rangers. I think they
won’t refuse me now… Dorel, hold the steering wheel and drive up, I want to rest a
little, my eyes are closing. Costel, sit in front, too, I want to lay a little.
– Sleep how much you want, Sasha. No problem…

87
 Dorel, being after the drunk, was highballing the car so, that I had the
impression that he doesn’t know about the brake. He opened the map and looked
for the orientation points, for not losing the set direction. It was obviously that he
walked on these roads less than Sasha. After not more than fifteen minutes, Sasha
began to snore. Turning my head to him, I spied a revolver hanged at his hip. The
jacket discovered it and striped his chest, the belly and hips. There was also a knife
of about fifteen cm, near the revolver. I couldn’t believe how easy it is for some
people to cross the eastern frontiers. Freely of police, he was wearing a gun. He had
authority, in a way.
I hadn’t known even his identity. May be his real name wasn’t Sasha, and the
other Dorel? Even if they would been bad men, I couldn’t condemn them, because
there were doing a favor to me. As good people incline to do a harm, so the ban
ones, could do a favor anytime.
I was thinking about what was happening that moments, in the prison I escaped
from. Was it declared my disappearing? Or may be nobody knew anything?... Only
the director, the guardian and probably the tractor driver, who got me out of the
prison’s yard, knew about the escaping plan. It would been wonderful it that secret
was kept until we were going to arrive to Murmansk. There, in a way or another, I
would have hidden by the police, until we had found Costel, after what hadn’t
mattered anything. Obtaining my body, I had no deal with the police anymore,
while Costel would have been set in prison, with no judgment.
– Dorel, don’t you want us to find a telephone in the neighborhood and call the
director to find out the situation from the prison?
– We’ll call when we get to Murmansk, nothing special could happen till then.
Better than speak about this nonsense, let’s buy something to eat!
– Let it be the way you say, Dorel, but I’m worried, anyway. I’m afraid not to
be in general seeking already.
– The director is a cunning person, who will be able to cover you at least for
three days, exactly the time we need. We’ll get to Kiev in a half an hour. We could
get quicker to Murmansk, if we would crossed directly through the Belarus. But, for
more security, we’ll make a little circle, passing through Russia.
– It seems to me you feel as home in Russia, I exclaimed.
– I had to come here, from my adolescence, cause I needed to find a job. That
time, a lot of young men were coming in Russia to work. I came here, too, I had a
small business and I even got married to a Russian girl. We live in the suburb of the
Smolensk city. We’ll get to my home tonight.
– But, is Smolensk on our way?
– Exactly. We’ll keep going to Sankt-Petersburg, from there.
– Why did the director hire especially you and Sasha to take me to Murmansk?
– We know each other for a long time, we made the army together. I needed
his help, few years ago and he needs our sustaining now.
– Are you living close each to other?
– No, Sasha is permanently in moving. He is making the itinerary Chisinau –
Moscow and vice-versa, weekly. He has his own business, but we meet once a
month, however, for setting some plans.
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 – But, where does he live?
– The car is my home, said Sasha, turning his scruff to us. Thou I have a
bungalow near Chisinau, I don’t have enough time to stay there.
– Did you marry to a Russian girl, too?
– No, he said, I like the Moldavian women, thou I go to a Russian one,
sometimes…
Telling these, Sasha began snoring again. He was too tired to prate with us.
– You, Costel, are in assurance. We have a lot of friend all over the Russia, so
if you would like to go the Northern Pole, we’ll take you there, without any
troubles.
– Murmansk is not far away from the eternal ice lands, anyway.
– I have an old friend in this town, he’s Moldavian, too. He’s activating in the
ordering forces now, or even in the Interpol, if I’m not wrong.
– In the Interpol? I exclaimed. It’s incredible. We could ask for his help, in the
catching of the real Costel.
– I could ask him to shelter you, but no how to get involve in your own
matters, do you understand me?
I couldn’t understand why the director and Dorel, too, were trying to convince
me that this problem must be solved only by me, and no how to admit the Interpol’s
involvement. I could understand that situation a little. If the Interpol would have act
neatly and would have return Costel to Moldova, the prison’s director wouldn’t
have get a coin, while risking a little, he gained three thousands dollars. Probably,
he hadn’t even talked to a procurator or a judge about getting the permission to get
out from the country, cause it would seem an unfounded reason to them . That’s
why the director avoided the collaboration with the Interpol. He understood that I
could be a profitable source for him. Even if there was a dirty game midway, I
wasn’t intending to announce the police, cause my purpose was more valuable than
those three thousands dollars.
– Dorel, have you ever been to Murmansk?
– Certainly, and not only once, but at least for three times. I was in 1999 the
last time. It was in winter. I remember, because of the quite high snow, the train had
been blocked among the drifts for more than a day and a half. We were finding in a
region with no locality. We thought we’ll die there, but the God took care of us.
At Kiev, Dorel entered a shop and bought two breads, a two liters bottle of
beer, herring, an orange juice and a tin of balls. We ate only after our exit from
Kiev, continuing our way in the same rush. Dorel drove till the frontier with Russia,
then, after some forty five minutes of stagnation and a discussion of Sasha with
some three rangers, we walked farther, only this time, the owner of the car was
driving – Sasha. We stopped once more for refilling the car, after what we restarted
our way to North.
Even we were going straightly, our thoughts were at home. As farther we were
straightening, as closer was my thought to my brothers and my parents. Making a
retrospection, the memories were disturbing the hard moments, when I was
obedient to Evil, causing troubles to my parents and even to the monks from the
monastery. But, my moment of glory was close, having the possibility to become a
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normal man again, who is thinking normally and is not more dominated by the
bestial instinct, that imposed you to do the most foolish things, even to kill people.
The game with Evil takes only a moment, after what he dictates you to execute all
the stupidities and you can’t go against him. At a moment, you even think that
killing a person is a laudable fact. All the devil things are changing in the washed
mind of an individuality, and he is unable and unconscious to recognize this. Who
doesn’t percept the danger he will be exposed ulterior, he’ll fall for sure in the
Lucifer’s net. That’s why it will be the most indicated to have doubts about all the
possible things, even if some of them seem to be good, apparently. A lot of people
dip the prison, suicide, because they don’t find a way of turning back to Light. I did
it in time and I had one step more to escape completely from the Devil’s obedience.
I would have get rid of the desperate Fiend, which will be destroyed by the
Providence, the same time with the sinners. The abbot, whom I didn’t want to listen
to, told me all the truth about Lucifer. Thou I had a vague idea about all of these,
the abbot trained me with and without my agreement. During our displacing to
Murmansk, I missed the abbot’s precepts which I had ignored for so many times.
So, after three days and a half, after we were to the Dorel’s house from
Smolensk, and after other small halts, we arrived to Murmansk. We entered on a
narrow street, where Sasha parked the car.

***

– Costel, our mission is over, spoke almost severely Sasha. According to our
agreement, we must bring and leave you here.
– Friends! I exclaimed, I am for the first time in this city, I have no idea where
I should go.
– Costel, the town has not more than four hundred thousand inhabitants. There
is no way for you to get lost among them, Dorel encouraged me.
– But, it is absurd! Can you stay, please, at least for a quarter of hour, to
explain me the scheme of this town!
I didn’t want to let them go, otherwise I was finished. Initially, the thought of
leaving to Murmansk, for seeking Costel, seemed so simple to me. But, being there,
everything was different. Then, I was realizing that if I’ll walk simply in the streets,
the probability to meet Costel, is minimal. I needed a guide who could advise me
how to find the felon who had stolen my body.
– Dorel, you was telling me about a man from the Interpol. Could you give me
his address at least?!
– I should look into my note-book. May be I’ll find it…
– Boys, hurry up, please. I must be in Moscow after four days. I have some
deals to do, said Sasha.
I was understanding very well that they had no interest to waste their time with
someone like me. They behaved amiably as long as the director told them, after
what, everyone to his way.
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 – I think I don’t have it, said Dorel. I think it is signed somewhere at home, but
the Smolensk is far already! You won’t get lost, Costel. I assure you!
– Boys, we are mature people and we can discuss differently. We make a deal:
favor for favor. You help me to find that criminal and I give you one thousand
dollars for this. When we come back home, I give you the money. Are you agree, or
not?
– Wait, Costel, said Sasha. Dorel, let’s get out of the car for a moment. You’ll
get the answer in a few moments.
“Aha, you like money, friends, I knew it”, I told to myself. “I wouldn’t be able
to keep you close to me, otherwise.”
While those two were arguing some meters away from the Jeep, I was thinking
about my parents, who were going to take out from the pockets one thousand
dollars more. But what importance would these money have in comparison with the
obtaining of the individuality and my body’s integrity?! I could earn all these
money later and give it back to my dear parents.
It was a dull weather, almost ready to rain. The temperature was about fifteen
Degrees warm. You could hardly notice a passer in the narrow street.
– I got to the end of the earth, I said enthusiast to myself. How could Costel
think to run directly here? Wasn’t he afraid?
Probably, he wasn’t even intuiting that we are seeking him. He thought that
nobody could ever find him at this terrestrial periphery. But, he was wrong. My
presence will surprise him soon.
– Costel, we accept to help you, said Dorel. I found the telephone number of
my friend, too.
– Formidable, I exclaimed.
– Now, let’s pay him a visit. I think it is better than to call him. I hope he’ll
understand our unannounced arrival!
– It’s half past eleven. He’s at work, probably! Said Sasha.
– Then, we’ll park the car in a hidden place and let’s sleep, cause I’m very
tired.
– I think it is a good idea, I accepted.
For not wasting the time until we’ll find a better parking place, we stayed in
the same place. Sasha, whom I considered the most important guide, lied on the
behind banquette, but Dorel and me stayed in the front side, trying to sleep. At five
o’clock in the evening, Dorel woke up and exclaimed:
– Wake up, boys! It’s time to live.
Traversing the narrow lanes, with not higher than five floors buildings, we
approached a quite spacious avenue. Throwing a glance on a wall of a high
building, I had read: “The Lenin Prospectus”. I could see a lot of people walking on
the pavements at that hour, or people who were coming home from the work. The
circulations of cars seemed to be quite reduced in comparison with this situation in
Chisinau. After some minutes of traveling on the Lenin prospectus, we turned off to
left, on the Polearnye Zory street, then to the right, on the Gvardeyskaya street.
Dorel was looking attentively not to go on the wrong way. He was saying we
should approach the Karl Marks street, where you could find the domicile of his
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pal. Traversing the Gvardeyskaya street, we made a small bend, and only at it’s
end, we arrived to a street positioned perpendicularly with the one we were finding
in.
– Friends, we arrived! Dorel exclaimed. Here, on the street of the “brother”
Marks, my pal Serghey is living.
Veering to left, then to the right, among some buildings, he stopped in front of
a five-storied edifice.
– One moment, said Dorel. I go to see if he’s home.
“What a luck to have friends in all the corners of the world”, I told to myself.
“When you have a problem, you can solve it with their help.”
I was just staying and thinking, what friends do I have? I had nobody. Besides,
how could I make friends, if I wouldn’t left our cottage from the forest! The Evil
was my single friend, but he almost pushed me in the hollow. I was afraid to have
friends anymore. What if they will take after Evil?...
– Hey, Sasha, Costel, come up. Serghey is home.
– Let’s go, Dorel, may be your friend will treat us to something warm.
– His wife is just cooking something tasteful.
– I think this Russian woman can’t prepare the gravy so tasteful as my mother
does.
– But either your mother, Sasha, can’t cook as the Russian women does, Dorel
replied.
– I don’t agree!
– You’ll convince yourself, or you want to say that you don’t like the eatable
cooked by my wife? They are the most delicious from the world?
– Every gipsy man boasts his hammer, Sasha encouraged him, while he was
getting out of the car. A short, mustached man, with black hair, dressed in an
elegant suit, wearing a tie, was waiting for us near the red wooden door of the flat
from the third floor. Probably, he was just coming from the work, not managing to
change his clothes. He spoke with a hospitable voice, followed by a large smile:
– Come in, brothers! It’s been a while since we hadn’t spoken in the
Moldavian language to each other!
– Hey, Serghey, we are almost forgetting this language, too. We are being
more abroad than in our country…
– Our mothers are still speaking it, anyway. I decided to go home at the end of
this summer, for seeing what are my parents, my brothers and the relatives doing.
This is life is too short and is not good to think only about us. Don’t you see, God is
stealing the dearest persons of us?! I don’t even know how long my relatives or me
are meant to live, so, we have to improve the fact that we are living, and to visit
each other sometimes…
– You’re right, Serghey, Dorel assigned. Many of my age, thou I’m still
young, aren’t alive anymore. They left their families and children and went to live
in the skies.
– Have a sit in the armchairs, I’m changing only and I’m back, said the host
amicably.

92
 – We entered the guests’ room. It was a quite spacious room. A silvery luster,
teemed with little bulbs, was lighting the room, that seemed to be dark because of
the boring outside weather. Five big and soft armchairs were set around of a round,
little table, vestured by a white, brown-light striped table cloth. There was a white
fur, probably of polar bear, arranged on each of them. I t seemed to be very
expensive. Or may be the furs were cheap for him how are the tomatoes to us?!
You could see the other buildings positioned opposite, through the two large
windows, equipped with transparent portieres. The walls of these buildings were
decorated in light colors, creating a pleasant, calm and friendly ambiance. There
were a multitude of little bottles with wine of different brands, set in the garniture
of one of the walls, having little doors made exclusively from glass. I understood
that he was an eager collector of wines, because there was installed a printing on
each bottle, having indicated the year of it’s acquisition, and lower – the year of
production. The oldest collected bottle was from 1984, but bottled in 1960. It was a
white, silvery wine, that was provoking me an untamable thirst.
– Friends, I see your glances are stolen by my wines collection, said Mr.
Serghey enthuse. I’ll treat you to a pony of rum, until my wife will cook something.
Taking off the bottle from the others, Mr. Serghey exclaimed:
– I got it eighteen years ago, when I visited Great Britain. Such a liquor was
drunk by the pirates…
– We’ll feel as being pirates, too. At least for a moment, said Dorel smiling.
– If you have enough time, we could rent a yacht, or at least a boat and to
admire the ocean. We’ll fish and drink rum with the bucket, said Serghey.
– No, said Sasha. We don’t want to find our end in the Arctic Ocean. We have
children to grow!
– If the way out to ocean, seems to you dangerous, then, we can go to our old
river, that is bend by the ocean. The waters are quite here and there is a lot of fish!
– Thank you, Serghey, for your proposal. We would be temped by such an
offer, but we don’t have too much time. We came to you with a more serious
problem. I thought you could help us in this matter. More than that, you are my
single friend, having such an influence in this region, spoke a little bit thoughtful
Dorel.
The all four of us, who were standing in that room, changed our smiles into
serious mines.
– A-ha, I got it Dorel. Tell, what’s the problem? I’m ready to help you as much
as I can. Barely you are my fellow-citizens and I won’t leave you unhelpfully, the
host encouraged us.
– You work for the Interpol, could you help us find Nicolae Covrin?! We were
told in Moldova, that he came here in Murmansk.
– I don’t know if I do the right thing, but I want to ask you about this person, is
he a criminal?
– It’s a very puzzled problem here, I said. That person is actually me.
– I don’t understand. Explain me more detailed!
– Nicolae Covrin is the soul that lives in this body, said Dorel, showing to me.
And the soul from this giant man, is nested in the body of Nicolae Covrin.
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 – Ah, I get it, I get it. The deal is about a change of souls between the bodies. I
heard about this only in the films that reflect the supernatural.
– It seems to be incredible, but it’s real! Said Dorel.
While this, Dorel told Mr. Serghey about the dangerous soul that’s living in
my real body and who is the host of this soul, I mean the body of Costel. Listening
attentively, the host said:
– Stop, stop, stop! We were told yesterday that a man from Moldova is in a
general prosecution. He is a quite dangerous criminal, who committed many
infractions till now. I’ll give a call to find out his name and may be obtain a photo
of him, too. We were told he escaped three days ago!
Taking the mobile telephone, he gave a call to one of his job colleagues.
– Andrew, tell me the name of the prosecuted person from Moldova? We were
told about him yesterday.
– After some waiting moments, he got the answer:
– Constantin Mardare? he asked for concreting the name. Thank you Andrew.
– Mr. Serghey, I said uneasily, the body of that criminal is in your house. I’m
living in it and I’m dieing of impatience to get rid of it.
– You are lucky that you wasn’t caught by the cops, otherwise you would been
extradited to the authorities from Moldova, Constantin. The situation is a little
complicated, that’s why we should act prudently and as soon as possible, for not
wasting too much time.
– How do you think, will it be possible to find the real Costel? I asked a little
desperately Mr. Serghey .
– It wouldn’t be difficult at all. The one we are seeking, is not even thinking
that he is prosecuted. I’ll call my colleagues right now, for localizing the…
– Nicolae Covrin, I said.
– Nicolae Covrin, he repeated.
While we were serving the English rum, the host was giving indications to his
colleagues.
– First of all, call at the hotels, then at the railway station. Actually, you know
better your job, he said quaffing the drunk he boasted to us.
– It was naturally quite good. It fuddled me from the quaffs.
– Friends, Mr. Serghey exclaimed, my dear wife will treat us to very delicious
ravioli in a moment. Someone said that the Philander women aren’t cooking good,
but I found an exceptionable one.
– Your wife is not Russian? I asked him perplexedly.
– She is Russian, but her parents are of Philander origin.
– Interesting, exclaimed Sasha.
– Nothing interesting, said Mr. Serghey. The life is so, it takes us to the places
we never dreamed about. The faith is straightening our steps to luck; we have to
pick it only. Even if my steps stopped on these distant lands, I’m thankful to God,
anyway. He made me happy even here. I have a house, a family, a job, money, but I
miss my home so much. But it doesn’t trammel my happiness.
– You are right, Mr. Serghey, I assigned. It’s not even good to live our entire
life near the mother’s skirt. This way, we can’t find our destiny and we also remain
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to be children forever, who are not becoming mature as long as they are not leaving
their native home.
– Exactly, said Dorel.
– Hey, Dorel, said Sasha, are you adverting to me somehow, cause I remained
in Moldova?
– No, old man. Even if your house is there, you are in a long way, however. I
think you didn’t see your parents, since I haven’t seen them, too.
– No, I saw them last year.
– Ha, ha, ha a choir of laughs was heard.
– OK. We can laugh, speak and even eat, until we’ll receive news from
Andrew…
While the host was pouring some ponies of rum, his wife entered the room.
– Good afternoon, sirs, she said in the Moldavian language. Sergey, invite your
friends to have lunch. It’s not good to treat them to wine when they are hungry…
Really, she was a very beautiful lady. A natural blonde, with a face of a light-
white color, with blue eyes and long eyelashes, with thick lips and white-white
teeth hidden under it. A big breast is evidencing all her charm. Her thighs were the
nicest from the world.
– The food is ready, come in the living-room, please. I’m afraid not to get cold,
she added with the same large smile and in the same voice warm as the springs
from Moldova.
While we were eating the hot ravioli, someone called Mr. Serghey. The host
answered immediately. It seemed he received good news, cause he had a little smile
in the corner of his mouth. After some minutes of discussing to Andrew – his job
colleague, he told us satisfied:
– A week ago, Nicolae Covrin went by train to Severomorsk. How good that
we found out his destination!
– But where is Severomorsk? I asked him curiously.
– It is twenty five km away from here: it is a little town of about seventy
thousands of inhabitants. It want take us too long to find the runner!
– I see he is straightening to the northern part. Where does he want to get?
spoke Dorel significantly.
– May be his plan is to leave farther than Russia. He is probably seeking a
more suitable place, where he could get in a ship and to escape this peninsula,
added Sasha, gobbling another ravioli.
– No, said Mr. Serghey, after many years of experience, I think I know very
well his intentions. He is not so cleaver as to realize that someone is following him,
especially in this end of the world. I think he didn’t remain in Murmansk, because it
wasn’t his final destination. He’s certainly having somebody known in
Severomorsk. That’s why he went farther. More than that, there isn’t a train directly
from Moldova to that small town. He had to get off here and after some bait days,
he took another train to the final destination. I think this is the denouement of the
dilemma. What do you think, friends?

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 – Indeed, the statement seems to be quite credible, assigned Dorel trustfully.
Then, you have to find out if there are any original persons from the Republic of
Moldova, living in Severomorsk.
– This is not a great deal, Mr. Serghey assured us. For not wasting too much
time, I think we should leave tomorrow at nine o’clock in the morning, cause I’ll
have something to do earlier.
– Very well, Serghey. We’ll do the way you say, Dorel said his opinion,
cleaning the corners of his mouth with a white as snow napkin.
– We’ll be thankful to you for our entire life, I said.
– You don’t have to. I have always liked to help my conational people,
especially that I don’t have many occasions to do it. I mean you, who are finding in
a desperate situation…
– Should I come to Severomorsk, too, or to stay here? I’m probably
prosecuted...
– Be quite. Nobody will dare to touch you when you being next to me. We, the
men of the law, have a lot of friendly contacts. So, absolutely nobody will handcuff
you. More than that, you are innocent.
– That’s true, but not all can understand this…
– Only those who don’t want to understand it, added Serghey.
After we ate and drank off the rum bottle, we came back to the salon for
playing cards. When we thought we should go to bed, the host told us that
unfortunately he disposes only of two beds, the ones of the children, who were left
in a resting camp.
– Don’t worry, Serghey, said Dorel, I’ll sleep with Costel in a bed, he is a good
boy, I hope he won’t do me any harm, during my sleep.
– Hey, Dorel, the same hair, but another behavior.
– I got the allusion, Costel. I have realized already that you are an educated
man.
– Let’s hope that our problem will be solved tomorrow, our conational assured
us. Tomorrow at seven o’ clock in the morning, we’ll go to our centre for finding
out the coordinates we need.
– It’s all right, said satisfied Dorel. Now, let’s go to bed. We don’t want to get
you tired too much. I can imagine how do you feel after a day of work.
– It’s OK. I hadn’t slept for thirty-six hours once, following some criminals.
When everyone of us said his opinion, Mr. Serghey led us to the children’s
room.
– Good night, friends.
– Good night, we answered all the same time…
Thou I had my eyes closed, I couldn’t sleep. An inexplicable impatience was
not letting me in peace. I wanted to skip from the quite comfortable bed and to start
seeking that felon Costel. I was suffocating in that miserable body, that was
belonging to a very dangerous criminal. I was feeling that my soul wants to get out.
In those moments, when I was absolutely unhappy, even the Evil didn’t dare to visit
me. His mission was already done. I was alien of my body, more than that, I was in
a general prosecution. The Interpol was following my footprints. What would I
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have done if the police caught me before getting to Mr. Serghey?! My dream of
regaining the body would have been smashed forever. I have been realizing
immediately that, though, the opposite to Evil force, is more and more visible. If the
Providence wouldn’t have intervened by my side, I could not escape the
penitentiary, probably. Almost now, after I have understood the nature of the
supernatural forces and it’s way of manifestation, I was conscious that is much
harder to fall in the nets of a force, if you are already belonging to one of it. Instead,
if you are not belonging to the Evil’s force or to the Weal’s one, you can be haunted
by it for entire life. Even if I was conscious about the hard reality of the events, I
couldn’t have a concrete decision about this. I could better accept to be “cleaned”
by the supernatural forces, than to belong to it. I couldn’t give up to my
independence, for those who guide the universe’s faith and even the people’s one.
Thou I was a witness of the benefits a man could be glad of, defended by the
Providence, I couldn’t accept her as being my Master. I already had an
indescribable horror, after my experience with Evil. He ruined my psychological
stability and especially my optimism, practically for the entire life. You could
notice rarely a smile on my face, provoked by some gladness. I was not feeling
satisfaction even from the most important things. Even the love of my parents, who
sacrificed a great part of their wealth for bringing me back in the family, wasn’t
enamoring me too much. I wished to regain my body, no matter the price and not
for enjoying this, but because it was my property. Another purpose I have set later,
was that of not being a person weaker than Evil and even to be at the same level.
His advantage was that of having different shapes, under which, he could act in
different circumstances. Instead, I disposed just of a body and a soul that was good
for nothing without it’s real body. The major and the incommensurable power was
and is still being concentrated only in God. I had remarked already that if I would
try to withstand the Providence, she is not going to oppress me as the Evil did. The
God is Good and he gives you the right of choosing what’s better for you, while
Evil is extremely possessive. He would be able to exterminate anyone who’s
withstanding him and especially those who are obedient. My case was the same.
The Evil is everywhere. The Fiend is near the God. He is around everyone of us. He
is like a virus that can infect you every moment. You must be always ready to
withstand him, otherwise your integrity is over. So, it’s impossible for an evil force
to wish you the weal, as is impossible for the divine force to cause you any harm.
There are two opposite phenomena, which won’t ever get along each other.
Personally, I don’t want to adhere another camp, after the awful fight with Evil. I
wanted to create my own path between the Fiend and the Providence. I recognize, I
wouldn’t have withstood the Fiend, but after knowing his force and his
intentions…Thou, when I initiated the fight against him, I was conscious that an
eventual victory would be laborious. I was in the same situation as a smoker who
says that he won’t smoke anymore, starting with tomorrow, or as a drunkard who
says that he’ll drink a pony more and he gives up. But the reality is different. You
start discerning the hardness of achieving a goal the moment you are conscious of
it. Finally, obeyed by all these thoughts, I got asleep.

97
 The next day, before having a tea, Dorel, Sasha and me, one by another, took a
shower. My body hadn’t seen clean water for a long time. I was feeling fresher and
stronger after the shower. I put on my sport suit and entered the living-room. After
we had a cup of tea, we left.
– Friends, we are having a hard day today. If we succeed in achieving our goal,
we’ll have such a drinking, that you can hardly imagine, said Mr. Serghey in a joke
– If we act rapidly and prudently till tonight, we’ll finish this task, Dorel
assigned his opinion, too.
We got in the Sasha’s Jeep, parked in front of the block. The was nobody seen
in the yard. Dorel and me sat on the behind banquette, while the other two occupied
the front seats. We got to the Mr. Sergey’s office in fifteen minutes.
– Boys, wait a little. I’ll be back in not more than a quarter of hour.
– Costel, today is a great day for you, said Sasha.
– I know, but my heart is telling me that something will be wrong.
– What can happen? We are fully armed, Dorel encouraged me. Sasha is
having enough arms for all.
– I don’t think we need pistols or other arms in this case. You don’t have to
shoot, cause we go to capture my body. We don’t even have to touch him.
– Don’t worry, at least to threaten him, for giving himself up easy, said Dorel
thankfully.
– Let’s fuel the car until Serghey will come back, cause the combustible is
almost over, said Sasha fingering his pocket.
A fuel station was seen one hundred meters away from us.
– Sorry, friends, for the consumptions you have because of me. But I promised
I’ll give what you deserve for this help, I told them a little ashamed.
– Don’t worry, Costel, spoke Sasha affectively. You met real men who aren’t
crying for every spent coin.
– Buying some liters of fuel doesn’t mean to spend millions, said Dorel,
touching his belly, as a sign that he would like to eat something.
Until we prolonged our discussion, Mr. Serghey was back, accompanied by an
athletic-built man. He was blonde, muscular, dressed in a sport style.
– This is Andrew, boys. He will accompany us. In case the prosecutor will dear
to run, be calm, Andrew will catch him immediately.
Going to the direction Mr. Serghey indicated us, Sasha said:
– We should fuel the car, somewhere here.
– I got a card of fifty liters. We’ll stop at the town’s periphery and we’ll fuel it.
Press the clutch now. We must get to Severomorsk in not less than forty-five
minutes.
– Mr. Serghey, have you found out anything about Constantin Mardare? I
asked him impatiently.
– I think I did. I found out that a person called Alexander Mardare is living in
Severomorsk. We don’t know if this Mardare is a relative, or even a brother of that
whom we are seeking, but we’ll know this soon. We’ll go directly to his house. He
is living in a town side. He’s working at a fish processing factory, is married, his

98
wife is Russian. He is forty-four years old and has three children. This is all I found
out.
At the Murmansk’s periphery, we stopped by the fuel station Mr. Serghey told
us about. After we fueled the car, we went farther, on the neat road, where you
could rarely notice a car.
I hadn’t seen the sun yet, since I came to that region. It was a dull weather.
Heavy, rainy clouds were stagnating over us, almost ready to strain the divine
liquid. As I knew from Dorel, there wasn’t night in that part of the world, in that
summer period. I couldn’t remark a great deal, but, certainly the last night looked as
a day. Actually, less darker as during the day. Instead, during the winter, in an
interval of more weeks, outside is only night. I didn’t know anything about that, but
Dorel assured me that he’s right. The boy who was accompanying us, I mean
Andrew, was sitting between Dorel and me, without saying a word. Actually, he
wasn’t understanding anything, cause the discussion was in Moldavian. That’s why
he was not even involving.
According to all the indications of Mr. Serghey, Sasha stopped the car in front
of a five-storied building, situated in the town side. At the first glance, the
Severomorsk seemed to be a quite attractive locality. The outside air was very clean
in comparison with the Chisinau, where you can’t breathe sometimes. A few people
and a few cars.
– We’ll set all the details now and we’ll act after this, spoke surely Mr.
Serghey. We don’t even know if the person we look for is being here, but we must
be prepared for every eventuality. Sasha will stay in the car and watch the entering
door.
– At your order, he accepted.
– In case the suspect appears, you’ll be honking for ten seconds.
– All right, I’ll do the way you say.
– Dorel, you’ll watch near the window, behind the building.
– There are more windows, which one I’m going to stay near?
– Alexander Mardare lives in the third apartment. It is on the first floor. If the
increasing order of the flat’s numbers starts from the left side, then, you should
watch the third window.
– The problem is that we don’t know haw many windows does this flat have?
– You’ll go behind the building and watch the first six windows from the first
floor, anyway.
– Immediately, Serghey.
– Costel, you’ll stay in the car with Sasha. You don’t have to be noticed by the
criminal, otherwise our plans are over.
– But if I see him, can I get out to catch him?
– Only in this case.
– I understood, Mr. Serghey, I said impatiently.
– Andrew will come with me. We’ll seek out every flat’s corner. Even if you’ll
hear suspect noises from the interior, don’t move from your places.
– It’s done, Sasha assured our instructor.
– Costel, hold this revolver. You can use it if necessary.
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 – Mr. Serghey, don’t shoot him, please, it is my body.
– Don’t worry. I’ll shoot him only in an extreme case, if he is armed, too.
– Then, be careful not to hurt him gravely!
– Be calm, Costel. This is not my first time hunting the criminals.
– You are right.
– Dorel, do you need a gun?
– No, Sergey, Sasha will give me one of his arms.
– So, everything is set up. You’ll rush inside, only after you receive my signal.
– Which is your signal? asked Sasha, taking out the pistol from the belt.
– Andrew or me will get out. Now, let’s do our job. One, two, three, get out of
the car.
Andrew and Mr. Serghey entered the block of flats, but Dorel went behind it.
Sasha and me stayed unmoved in the car’s salon. We were so concentrated looking
to the block’s entrance, that we forgot to breathe. I was holding tightly the revolver
in my left hand, being ready to open the door with the right one, in case of seeing
the real Costel.
– How are you, Costel? asked Sasha after some minutes of silence.
– As I’m not existing anymore…My heart is of a jigger’s dimension. I don’t
know why, but I’m very scared.
– You have reasons to feel this way, your future faith is set in this game.
– You’re right, I’m afraid we won’t catch him.
– Be quite. He’s not even thinking that someone could come so far for seeking
him. We’ll surprise him. He’ll be unprepared and he won’t manage to hide
somewhere.
– Ah, if it would be as you say!
– Of course, how else? He is not wiser than us. We are experimented persons.
– We are not sure if he’s finding here, however.
– We have the denouement in a few minutes. Be sure!
Suddenly, we stayed speechlessly. Somebody was getting out from the block. I
thought he was Costel, for a moment, but I was wrong. A gaffer got out to breathe
the fresh air, probably.
– Interesting! said Sasha. Why is not happening anything?
– He is not home, probably!
– This is a statement, too, or may be they don’t want to open, may be they are
speaking to somebody?!
– Who knows…? I said despairingly.
While I was thinking about the possible inside happenings, I saw our officers
getting out from the block. They seemed to be satisfied.
– Hey, boys, the things are following better than we thought, said Mr. Serghey,
breathing easily.
– Did you find out anything? I asked him impatiently.
– Andrew, go behind the building and call Dorel. We’ll make a plan.
Being the five of us in the car, Mr. Serghey exclaimed:
– There was only the wife of Alexander Mardare and a child more. I asked her
if our friend from the Republic of Moldova, didn’t visit them. She, being a little
100
surprised, told me that a young man came to them and was hired at the same factory
where her husband works. She couldn’t give us more details.
– Did you tell her that you are the friends of that man?! asked Sasha.
– Certainly.
– So, what to we have to do next?! I asked the policeman, I mean Mr. Serghey,
while rotating the revolver in the transpired hands.
– She said that Constantin Mardare is living there, and we have to come at six
o’clock in the evening for finding them home.
– He’ll fall in our net for sure, now! exclaimed thankfully Dorel.
– I don’t even doubt, said Mr. Serghey, only we should devise our group. A
part of us will stay here and watch the flat, but the others will go to the factory
where those two are working.
– Perfectly, said Sasha.
– Interesting, how did Costel explained to Alexander that he is really Costel?
– That lady told us that he is a nephew of his husband. He lied to her, said Mr.
Serghey.
– They wouldn’t have accepted him otherwise, said Dorel.
– It doesn’t interest us too much. We have to do our job now, exclaimed the
policeman. As I said, we have to collide a pony tonight for our victory!
– Let it be so, said Dorel and Sasha, smiling.
– Until then, let’s go to a canteen for warming our bellies with a soup, what do
you say? proposed us our conational.
– Of course, we won’t be hungry for the entire day! Dorel affirmed.
– Then, Sasha, start the engine, said Mr. Sergey.
We stopped five hundred meters far from the Alexander’s house. We entered a
public canteen of a real diversity of food. Mr. Serghey ordered five helps of fish
kale, a help of salad with chopped fillet and a phial of mineral water for each of us.
Thou initially the burg seemed to be small, there was a canteen of about one
hundred people and it was almost full.
– Serghey, tell us something more about your activity, said Dorel.
– I’m not allowed to do this, but, as you are my friends, I’ll retell you about a
situation I was involved in, almost risking my life. My job seems to be quite
amusing for the others, but know, we are hunted, too, by the Interpol’s people. Our
life is never surely. We risk to lie in the evening and not to get up the next morning.
Haplessly, some of my colleagues were assassinated in the most bestial way. The
God is still taking care of me and I hope he’ll protect me till the pension, when I’ll
adjourn in a safe place.
– Serghey, sometimes is better to die as a hero, than to live a century doing
nothing good for this world.
– I agree, but it happens very often to the great, awarded people to be forgotten
as the ones who aren’t doing anything. And, then, after death, we can’t even take
something from our achievements.
– Oh, no, the history is also restorable subjectively sometimes. The one and the
same persons are sometimes being remembered by some interest groups, but are
being also dishonored, criticized and marginalized by the others.
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 – You know at least that you have defended the justness during your life, I
encouraged him.
– Oh, no, the word “right” is being the mask of all the wrongdoings: God led
the Israel with six hundred and thirteen laws and orders, having those ten
commands among them. But, there were a few of those who withstood him. Today,
we are having thousands and thousands laws and what for?! For being abjured.
Immediately after appearing a new law, appears the one who neglect it. I have the
impression that nobody would abjure the law if it doesn’t exist. There will be
another order in this world. I know it’s not reasonable what I’m saying now, but our
legislative system is not well-made.
– May be you are right, may be you are not. On the other side, the delinquents
would be free of action without laws.
– They don’t think about legislation, anyway. They are led by their own laws.
All the others are only an appearance for them. The appearance is the beautiful
shield of the falsities. The absurdities became normal things, that are not contested
even by the ignorant people. All the ignoble phenomena covered the needs’ face
and the one of the decent events.
– You are too pessimist, Serghey. What’s up? Dorel asked.
– No, I’m not pessimist.
– OK, tell us about the case you was going to lose your life. Sasha didn’t
understand anything from your philosophy! Ha, ha, ha, continued Dorel smiling.
– It seems to you, Dorel. I had a single arrear at the philosophy, ha, ha, ha,
laughed Sasha.
– I know why did you have a single one! exclaimed Dorel.
– And why?
– Because you left the university after that, or may be the teacher died!
Andrew was laughing too, thou he wasn’t understanding a word.
– As I told you, continued Mr. Serghey, few years ago, we were prosecuting
some drug traffickers, who threatened us for many times. They said they’ll destroy
all of us, if we don’t leave them in peace. They belonged to a weak-developed and
unorganized group.
– Precisely they are the ones who can trouble you most of all, concluded
meditatively Sasha.
– The serious traffickers are even the police masters, I told my opinion.
– May be you are right, may be you are not, said Mr. Serghey, but this is not
the most important thing.
For a moment, I noticed his intention of absenting from the answer, what made
me think that I was right. He wouldn’t been abandoning the subject otherwise.
– Making a persecution among some peripheral storehouses from the
Murmansk, where was supposed to be found an important stock of drugs, I hadn’t
found anything. While turning back to the car, which was parked in the
neighborhood, exploded the same time. We were six-seven meters away from it.
We were so lucky, cause God protected us.
– Did anybody get hurt? asked wonderingly Dorel.

102
 – From the five of us, two men died there, one was gravely injured and only a
man and me stayed unhurt.
– Formidable, said Dorel.
– The history is not over. The moment the car exploded, a black automobile
appeared in the neighborhood. Two masked individuals got out of the car and began
to shoot. I was lucky and managed to take out the revolver and to sight one of them.
– Did you hit him? asked impatiently Sasha.
– Happily, I have shot both of them. Their driver disappeared and we have
never heard anything about him, finding his car fifty km away from our town.
– You are brave, Serghey! Dorel exclaimed thankfully.
– I don’t know how brave I am, but I’m thinking about my colleagues who
were braver than me, but who unfortunately died…
– That’s it, your job asks for sacrifices, otherwise you can’t manifest yourself,
Dorel concluded sorrowfully.
– You’re right, but the reality is too hurtful for some of us, however. We
disintegrate ineffectively the dangerous groups. The others more redoubtable and
more trained appears instead of them, spoke Mr. Serghey a little disappointed.
– Thank God that he’s at least taking care of you, Dorel was consoling him.
– As I’m still alive, I have the impression that my mission is not over yet.
– Mr. Serghey, if you did not like your job, I sure you wouldn’t have practiced
it till today, I said my opinion.
– You’re right. I can’t imagine having another way of living. Especially this
job makes me never be bored. Thou I’m conscious about the risks I assume myself,
I don’t give up, anyway.
– I see you have a very definite purpose, I encouraged our policeman.
– Than having no occupation, better having a dangerous one.
– Exactly, assigned Sasha.
– I don’t try to do the impossible, but I’m not also stopping at a certain thing.
I’m a balanced man…
– Having the nuances of an extremist, added Dorel.
– Let it be the way you say, friend…
– Though, Mr. Serghy, how is the life among the strangers? I asked him
curiously. It’s certainly different from the one you have among your friends!
– The planet is for the people, Costel. I have friends all over the world. I have
not seek anyone after the eyes’ shape, or after the skin’s color, the same blood is
flowing through anyone.
– There is a cultural difference, anyway.
– Thou I’m a convinced about many things, I’m flexible when referring to the
culture. May be that’s why I obtained the people’s friendship.
– We can hardly meet a person like you, I was marveling myself.
– I have almost stepped the second stage of my life, and happily, I realized
almost everything I wanted to. But, I have always had a principle: we don’t have to
wish too much, if we are not familiarized to the little. I arranged my life, only after
knowing that I’m able to achieve the little.

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 – Someone told me once: “The life is too short for tailoring long ways and is
too long when your ways are short”, said Dorel, knitting a little his eyebrows.
– Anyway, we don’t have to watch the length through the prisma of shortness
and vice versa. We have to look for the middle in all of it, the balance between the
extremes, to succeed in amalgamating the extremes in a middle point or a formula.
– It’s hard to rationalize everything you said, but is full of sense, said Dorel.
– The extremes have always given born to the abnormalities. More and more
of us aspire to these inside regions, I think for being evident in the society. But, the
same time, I think they chose a wrong way. The extremism proves us the lack of
self-control and the man’s incapacity of thinking normally. What are the
extremism’s harvests?! The alcoholism, the terrorism, the sectarianism, the
homosexuality etc. Only the weak beings get caught in these ignoble spheres. It is
known that the majority of them are being manipulated. That’s why would be
respectable of our side, to be tolerant. Thou, I think it’s almost impossible to turn
them from the chosen way. The abnormality is much better understood than the
normal things.
– How do you think, Serghey, asked Dorel. Could be the situation you are
telling us about rectified?
– As in the countable physics – the question creates the reality. You addressed
me a question which reality is almost existing. Even if there are campaigns for
combating many noxious phenomena organized, they are in vain, anyway. The
abnormalities can only be kept under control, no way to be rebutted. The AIDS
won’t be reformed until it’s focal points won’t be destroyed. The fight against the
terrorism gives birth to new wars; the tentative of retrenching the homosexuality
will be efficient, only after dissolving all the organizations which encourage it.
I was looking in the Mr. Sergey eyes, understanding that we are having a
discussion with a very wise man. He was commenting all the subtleties with a strict
lucidity. He had a spirit of an elevated man. I hadn’t even thought that he was able
not only to catch criminals, but to interpret some things that are very far from a man
who’s working in the security sphere, too. He had easily convinced us of some
realities we haven’t even noticed till that moment. His words affected me too, even
quite hardly. I was manipulated by my own ration, too, as I fell in the Evil’s nets.
But, happily, everything was till a certain moment. My weakness lasted for a while,
until I noticed the danger.
– Boys, I think we prated too much. It’s time to get out and occupy our
positions, the policeman finished the discussion.
– You are the chief, said Dorel. We’ll do everything you say…
It was raining paltry and densely. There was no man in the street. All of them
had sheltered somewhere. Only to young men were running in the pavement,
rushing to find a shelter, too. Our automobile, parked among the others cars, in
front of the canteen, was waiting to offer us a warm and dry seat. Taking our seats
in the Jeep’s salon, Mr. Serghey exclaimed:
– Start Sasha. Thou it’s raining, Andrew and Sasha will watch close to the
Alexander’s flat. We don’t have to let him go.

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 Sasha started the engine without commenting anything. Displacing slowly-
slowly, among the five-storied buildings, we approached the place we were
watching two hours ago. Arriving there, we had noticed a young man accompanied
by an elder one getting out through the entrance door. Suddenly, my arms and my
legs got melted as the butter in a hot pan. My eyes had misted and my voice was
sounding disorderly:
– This is Cos…, Cos…, Cos…te…te…tel. Catch him quickly!
I was sitting immobilized on the behind banquette, while Costel was just trying
to open the umbrella, watching to all the sides, as he would anticipated the danger.
Suddenly, he noticed the Jeep we were finding in. Remarking probably the
Moldovan registered numbers, he stepped back, telling something rashly to the man
who was accompanying him. He understood probably that someone is following
him. The Mr. Alexander’s wife told them certainly that two men came there telling
they were friends of Costel.
He wasn’t so stupid as to believe that someone could simply seek him so far
away. It was impossible for such an experimented, cunning man, not to discern the
most subtle trials of being captured.
– Boys, whispered Mr. Sergey, I count till three and we, all, break into him.
Andrew, Dorel and me, will take care of the young one, and you, Sasha, together
with Costel, take care of the another. Everything is clear?
– It’s clear, we said in a voice.
In a few seconds, Mr. Serghey told the needed indications to Alexander, only
in Russian this time. While this, Costel managed to enter the same door he got out
of.
– Take care of arms! Use them in an extreme situation only! I’m counting to
three now: one, two, three! Go!
Stimulatingly, those four doors of the Jeep were opened and we rushed to enter
the building. Sasha caught Alexander from two moves, who was not even
withstanding. He took out of the pocket a pair of chains and immobilized his hands.
I embraced him tightly not to run, but, to my surprise, he wasn’t even intending to
do this. He only asked wonderingly:
– What happened, what happened?
Some infernal noises were heard near the door that was already locked by
Costel.
– Sasha, I exclaimed rashly, stay here, I go to help them.
In less than five minutes, I was close to my friends, who were forcing the flat’s
door with both hands and feet.
– He managed to lock it, the miserable, spoke angrily Dorel.
– Didn’t he climb the roof? I asked, having a presumption about that animal
really doing like this.
– Dorel, cried Mr. Sergey, take Costel and climb the roof.
I was running behind Dorel, who was rushing as a wild man, stepping two-
three stairs the same time. The big belly that seemed to me heavy as a mill stone,
now was easier that an hydrogen balloon. I was fending strongly all the lodgers
from the superior flats, who got out to see the happened blatancy.
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 – Stay away, urchins! Why are you goggling as stupid, I was roaring, thou
being conscious they were not understanding anything.
The up-door of the roof was still creaking chaotically.
– We missed him, the cad, said Dorel desperately.
There was absolutely nobody on the full of water roof.
– Come after me, cried Dorel, he probably declined through the others exits of
the roof. Hurry up, he told me again breathing hardly.
The second wicket as the first one, was oscillating strongly, being certainly
opened a few moments ago. Down the stairs, were heard steps, declining to the
inferior floors.
– I’m hearing hem running, I said gnashing of spite. Harry up, Dorel, we’ll
miss him otherwise.
Getting down, we looked disappointed to all the directions, but we saw
nobody. Not even Sasha and his captive were at the another entrance. Suddenly, we
heard the Jeep’s engine. The car’s tires polished the wet asphalt, producing a strong
noise. It started. After the sudden start, all the open doors, closed.
Costel was driving the car. Not wasting a moment, we rushed to that direction.
Dorel took out the revolver and began shooting chaotically to the car’s direction. I
did the same. We were fifteen meters behind the Jeep, shooting easily, holing the
behind glass and metal. Mr. Serghey and Andrew were heard cursing behind of us.
– Shoot, shoot! Don’t let him go! cried the policeman continuing to curse of
spite.
We ran in the dense rain about three hundred meters. The car was riding away.
Our hopes were already lost.
– We missed him, ah, shit, cried nervously Dorel. Serghey, call the local
police, may be will catch him easier this way.
– I don’t have time for this. Run after him, don’t stop, see the followed
direction, he said tiredly.

***

Suddenly, at the crook situated one hundred and fifty meters away from us, a
strong hit was heard. Costel hit a slicker that was circulating normally. A dark
smoke was heightening from the destroyed engine among the drops of rain. You
could see anything around the stippled cars, only a scared voice was heard. It was
the slicker’s driver probably.
– Boys! Go and catch that shit! Let’s hope he’s still alive, said rashly Mr.
Serghey. Andrew, Dorel and me were running as some ridding horses, without
knowing who’ll get firstly to the place of accident and catch Costel. Getting there,
we saw the slicker’s driver, a paltry, old man who was exclaiming desperately:
– Ah, you miserable! You deformed my slicker I have just bought! It cost me a
whole wealth!

106
 – Don’t plain yourself so much! cried Dorel irritate. Start the engine and pull
your rattler out of here, cause the Jeep can explode every moment!
While the slicker’s driver was trying to move his bantling from that place, the
four of us, cause meanwhile Mr. Serghey came there, too, were dipping ourselves in
the thick of steam cloud for taking Costel out of the Jeep. Guessing the car’s sides,
each of us opened a door for cutting every possible niche of escaping. We had not
even managed to look into the car’s salon, that a strong noise of the engine and a
strong flame prevented us that the car will explode in a few moments.
– Go away, all of you! cried Andrew. We’ll explode the same time with the
car!
It took me some seconds to move away from the automobile, but those seconds
seemed to be a century. Thou I was running as a crazy, I felt like I’m not moving at
all. Being afraid, I just remember that in the moment of deflagration, I threw myself
on the asphalt, directly into a puddle. I had also heard the sounds of the unbound
pieces of the car hitting by the asphalt. A pungent smoke make me cover my nose
and go farther to a place with fresh air. A car of the local police appeared in a few
minutes, together with an ambulance and the firemen. A lot of people was looking
goggled at the all happened there.
– Costel is over, exclaimed Mr. Serghey disappointed, while cleaning his face
of the rainy drops, which were flooding him. You’ll stay in a criminal’s body for
your entire life.
I was horror-stricken. The chance of integrating myself, bringing my soul back
into my real body, was ruined. I was watching the people gathered around us for
seeing what happened and I understood I won’t ever be like them. I’ll stay a villain
forever, who won’t know about the happiness, a being with an unfulfilled youth,
who got old in a night. I was looking horrible in that full of vices body. I would
have liked to be loved and appreciated by a young lady as Maria was, but…Even a
monster would have been scared seeing the malformed face of Costel, that was
belonging to me now. I had instantaneously passed from the most beautiful age of
life to the most awful one.
– We had no victory, said Dorel and more than that Sasha lost his car. He’s not
even doubting of what happened, he stayed with the another vagabond!
– It doesn’t matter! exclaimed Mr. Serghey indignantly. Tens of cars and even
hundreds are daily exploding, it’s important that we stayed alive.
– You’re right, said Dorel.
While the firemen were working out the flames, the police collaborators came
close to us, for gathering details about the happened situation.
– Costel, go away. I’ll talk to them, said Mr. Serghey. It’s very possible for
them to know about your escaping. The extremely dangerous criminals are
prosecuted in the small cities, too.
While I was moving away, the slicker’s driver, quite agitated, got close to the
policemen, for telling his opinion, too. I was looking haggard to people around me,
realizing they are not even intuiting that I’m not the man they are seeing now.
Throwing my glance incidentally, my sight stopped upon the slicker. It wasn’t even
so battered as it’s driver was assigning. Only the left door was more wrecked and
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some grazes in rest. While watching the slicker offhand, I had noticed a foot move,
that was hidden behind truck wheel. Thou I could cry about this, I didn’t do it. For
being sure that Costel is alive and that was certainly him, I stepped slowly to his
stash. When I was less than six meters away from the wheel, behind which was
hidden that someone, Costel traversed the bottom of the truck in with an amazing
speed, and sprinted on the other side. And, we thought he was dead…Without any
hesitation moments, I bypassed the slicker and ran after him. I was eleven meters
away from him. I could take out the revolver and shoot him, but the purpose was to
regain my healthy, uninjured body. The voices of my friends, who were running to
help me, were heard behind of me.
– Costel! cried Andrew, don’t let him go.
I had no intention to stop. The freedom of Costel was almost over. He was
going to be captured in a few minutes. It was still raining, but it didn’t stop me from
the glory race. Seeing I can’t follow him anymore, I took out my revolver and
started to threaten him:
– Costel, stop, otherwise I shoot you!
– You need me alive and you won’t ever shoot me.
– You give my body back and I let you go, I tried to convince him, almost
breathing hardly.
– You won’t obtain anything, your body is already mine, said Costel,
continuing to run quicker.
Twenty meters were setting us apart. It would been such a wonder to catch
him. All my trouble would have been over, but…
Suddenly, noisy shots started whistling behind me. Andrew was furrowing the
air with balls, but it was in vain. He was running not even turning his head. For
oppressing us a little, Costel winded on a lane that was intercrossing the street
where few minutes a go was an accident. Then, he traversed the path and went
farther among some ruins of a building. A wire fence was heightening fifty meter
away from it. Costel escalated the fence with two moves and ran father. He hit upon
a railway. Jumped over the wet rails and straightened to a left storehouse, very
close to the railway. Andrew, Dorel and me skipped the fence one by another
straightening to local’s direction where the runner was hidden in.
There were metal stands installed at the storehouse instead of the windows,
being alike to the grates from the penitentiary. Very extenuated, all of us stopped at
the storehouse’s entrance. Full of satisfaction, Andrew exclaimed:
– He got in the trap. There’s no way for him to get out. Costel, you stay at the
entrance, but Dorel with me will search the whole storehouse until we’ll find him,
OK?
– Don’t worry, I’ll take of him not to get out of here.
Having the glances fixed in the half-dark scenery from the interior of the
storehouse, I was watching every move or suspect noise. I had waited for more than
five minutes and nothing special happened. Only a clogged shot was breaking the
silence. Probably, there were my pals threatening Costel. But, out of results. He was
canny, he knew how to face the most difficult situations, especially then, when he
was almost to be caught. At the moment I wanted to shoot for scaring Costel, a train
108
was traversing the railway with a noisy move, opposite to he storehouse. I counted
more than fifteen trucks and I hadn’t seen it’s end yet. It was a ware train.
Especially those moments when I was admiring the train, Costel profited at
maximum. I didn’t even manage to turn my sight to the storehouse’s direction, that
a strong hit as a metal object crashed the shoulder of my hand I was holding the
revolver in, then, another hit in my back made me lose my balance and faint.
I could pay with my life for a little inattention. I don’t know for how much
time I was laying unconsciously on the ground, but when I opened my eyes, there
were my pals and some policemen staying around me and a doctor, who was trying
to bandage my bloody shoulder. I was still raving, not understanding the situation
happened around me. Finally, feeling a little better, I asked nutty:
– Where is Costel? Did you catch him?
– Don’t worry, spoke calmly Mr. Serghey. Wait to be bandaged and we’ll set
the things in order after this.
Even if we were sheltered by the storehouse’s roof, my trousers and shoes
were all wet and the blouse was taken off for bandaging my shoulder.
– We’ll drink until we fall down tonight, said Dorel smiling. We caught
Costel.
– Did you catch him? I asked wonderingly. Where is he? I jumped on my feet
without controlling my moves, thou the doctor didn’t finish his job.
– He is handcuffed, having the feet in chains, too. He is in the police car, told
me Sasha a little sad.
He had reasons to be so, cause he’s Jeep was burned and the money I should
give him wouldn’t help him too much.
– Let’s go to him, immediately. I’ll return his body to feel the pain I’m feeling
now, I said nervously. He played with us too much, but it’s enough.
– Don’t rush, said Mr. Serghey. We’ll go to the police station and we’ll clarify
the situation there.
– No, I’ll fight with him in the rain’s beating. He stole my soul on a rainy
weather and I’ll regain it on a rainy weather, too, I said, being impatient to face the
man I hated the most.
– You are not feeling very well after the unconscious situation, Dorel tried to
stop me. Wait a little until you’ll be able to face him.
– I don’t need more time, I said promptly. Today is the decisive day. It is the
day when one of us should win this fight. The strongest will be the winner. If I lose,
I won’t be dignified to live on this earth anymore.
– You are not feeling well now, said Mr. Serghey worriedly.
– I’m ready to fence him without any of your involvement. You’ll follow my
fight only.
– You can’t even move your arm. He fractured some of your bones, Sasha was
trying to convince me.
– I’ll fence him with a hand only. I have nothing to lose more, except my soul.
– Think of your future life. You are young, too young to give up at what you
haven’t known yet, said Mr. Serghey in an asking way. Did you know the gladness
of a man whose wife is birthing his child? Did you make your parents happy with a
109
professional achievement, or even with a personal one? Did you make a person to
be happy at least for a moment? Think very good, boy! Your goal of coming here
was only for obtaining something you’ve lost.
His words had touched the segment I was meditating mostly. My ambition
touched the possible tops those moments:
– I’ll win! I’ll win! I assure you. I’m a fighter who doesn’t ever give up at his
values, at some vital targets! Bring him here and I’ll demonstrate you what I’m able
to do!
– That’s the way I want you, boy! said Mr. Serghey happily.
– Please, let us alone to clarify a problem, I asked all those around me.
– We’ll do the way you want, but we’ll get involve if necessary.
– This is not a right decision for the real men, I replied.
– You are not a real man, yet, but a real young man, Mr. Serghey told me.
My wings were cut, in a way, hearing those a little offensive words. But I was
not scared at all, cause a real young man was equivalent to a man in my mind.
– Hey, bring Costel here! Mr. Serghey ordered the policemen.
While two policemen were straightening to the automobile, set after the wire
fence, for bringing Costel to me, the doctor cleaned the blood from my bruise and
bandaged me cautiously. He was asking me if I fell any pain and I was answering
surely:
– I don’t even feel the least pain. This is only a graze I don’t pay attention to.
– The regaining of the soul, it is really a personal matter we can’t get involved
in, said Mr. Serghey. We helped you to capture Costel, in rest, everything to your
discretion. You know better what you should do.
– Of course, said approvingly Dorel. I’m even terrified to assist at a transfer of
souls from a body into another. It seems to be so impossible…
– Hey, Dorel! said Sasha ironically, nobody keeps you here. You can hide
behind the storehouse. You could certainly see anything from there.
– It is an unique moment to assist such abnormalities. I can’t lose this chance.
– Leave, I’ll tell you about this later! said Sasha amusingly.
Not demurring or paying attention to the nonsense of my friends, I got out of
the storehouse directly into the rain. I felt as the cold drops fallen on my skin, were
frizzing as the musty oil. I was hot-blooded. I was impatient to brink up my furor
against Costel. Looking to the direction the two policemen had to come from, I saw
Costel going handcuffed between them. He was looking desperately to me. I was
looking , too, but having a certain superiority, into the eyes I was watching once
through. In some minutes, all the present ones, hearing the indication of Mr.
Serghey, created a circle that could been escaped no how by Costel. I was staying
already in the place we had to fence, ready for the fight.
– Take his chains away, I cried. It’s the moment I have to demonstrate him my
real personality.
– Hey, prisoner, cried Dorel. Fight honestly. We know you are a quite habile
criminal, but not for this time, cause you can pay with your life for every
unallowable move!

110
 – I don’t have anything else to lose, said Costel desperately, chafing
intensively the handcuffed place.
You couldn’t even compare the massive body of Costel I was finding in, with
my real body possessed by Costel that time. Not even demurring a moment, I
approached the enemy and hit him straightly into the face. I thought he’ll crash
down immediately, but it wasn’t so. Contrariwise, shook up his head unthankfully
and jumped over me as a fiend. He held my neck into his both hands and hit
mercilessly my belly with his knee. After some strong jerks, I managed to fist his
scruff, what made him lose his balance and crash down.
– Ha, ha, villain! You think you’re playing with me? I said irritate. Stand up
and don’t welter down as an animal.
He stood up from the wet ground, without saying a word and broke into me
violently, having a bigger raging state than the first time. Holding my neck as few
minutes ago, began to hit me continuously with his head into my nose. Abundant
flushes of blood were splashing out from my nostrils. But, it didn’t make me to give
up to the fight. I embraced him so tightly, that I heard his bones creaking. Seeing
that I’m not intending to let him go, pushed his finger into my left eye. Hitting him
under the coast, I managed to throw him down for the second time.
– Animal, caddish, rude man! I roared, struggled by the pain he caused me.
Your death is coming soon.
– We’ll die together in this fight, I swear you, assured me Costel, while
standing on his feet.
– Don’t threaten me, cause you’re getting me more nervously?
– I don’t care, looser, Costel repeated.
Those threatening and even humiliating words, gave me an inexhaustible,
revenging force. I rushed into him as a block, hitting him continuously with my
fists and legs. He faces my hits for some minutes, but finally he crashed down as a
shred. He was laying on the belly, in the muddy ground, hardly breathing. Long
rains of blood were seeping his body. Not even trying to stand up, he whispered:
– I’m dieing, I’m dieing.
– Bravo, Costel, said Costel enthuse. You are a winner. Finish your job!
I was baffled. I wasn’t knowing what to enterprise next, cause I was risking
that way my body not to be able for obtaining the soul. The soul is not coming back
into a dead body. I kneeled near Costel for positioning him on his back. He was
trying to withstand me, but he ceded finally. He was out of any power. The
whiteness of his face was being changed into a dark violet-blue, because of my fist
hits. I held his shoulders, shattering him strongly and telling:
– Die at once, animal. Don’t length the time.
– I can’t force myself, said Costel desperately.
Hearing those words, I understood he was going to renounce at my body, too,
he could not probably endure anymore the pains I provoked him.
– I agree to make a body change, said Costel, groaning of pain. Make
something, don’t oppress me anymore.

111
 – Shut up your mouth, untamable fiend! Face the oppressing I had endured in
the prison when I found out that you slept with my girlfriend and had stolen my
parents for coming here. There is no way for you to relent me.
Thou I had beat him so strongly, my hit weren’t enough serious for causing his
death. He was a little possessed by a body fuddle, after what he got back to
normality.
While watching him despairingly, I remembered the abbot’s words: “Repeat
after me, son, Fatigma, Surgine, Mardiga”. Then, his another words sounded into
my ears: “These are saint words I had never pronounced to anyone else. I’m a
monk, a religious man, I can’t take out anyone’s thought until God won’t do it, but
you should pronounce them, for defending a noble goal of obtaining your real body.
The body your mother gave you when she bore you.”
Not wasting even a minute, I started to pronounce loudly, but rhythmically:
– Fatigma, Surgine, Mardiga, Fatigma, Surgine, Mardiga!
I had pronounced those words for nine times, as the abbot told me. Really,
Costel was raving, mumbling something indefinite.
– Die, ruddy beast, die, don’t length your time. We had lost so much time for
seeking you!
– He fixed his glance into my eyes for a moment and smiled me kindly, after
what he breathed for the last time. A hardly visible, warm vapor was rising near my
face.
The same moment, I felt an unusual weakness. I wanted to sleep. Thou the
ground was enough cold, I wanted to lay down near my real body and sleep. I was
feeling so good and easy, as I was flying, as a was a bird which inclines to climb
the highest tops and never come back. I was feeling something that can’t be felt by
an usual man. It was a paradisiacal sensation. Suddenly, my heavy body, was
falling slowly-slowly on the ground, the soul coming off from it. Exactly that
moment, I remember the desperate cry of Dorel:
– How are you Costel? Answer me?
In rest, everything was extremely quite. My young soul was some meters high
from the earth, watching peacefully that scene. I was looking to my friends and to
the policemen, who were verifying our bodies if were still alive. I was watching my
injured body, too. I was sick of all I had seen for a moment, not wishing to return
into the real world. Everything seemed to be so somber, even funeral. There were
such desperate and limited persons standing in front of me, not being able to
percept a lot of things. Those moments I saw how many possibilities has a
separated from his body soul. The body is like a pair of chains for the soul, which
hold you bend from manifesting all the real abilities. Entering a body, the soul is
losing his supernatural capacities. The body is like a stone that doesn’t allow the
soul to fly to highnesses, to see over the horizons. I even had the impression that
God gives to the more charismatic people or to the one who are not obedient, a
human body, for punishing them for a certain period of time.
Suddenly, I felt the soul of Costel next to me. He whispered me with a slowly
touch:

112
 – We could be even friends, remaining in this conditions forever, see what
human life is doing from us!... We’re having such a stupid fight for some mounds
of bones and meat, which are weltering now into stolidity and poach!
– You’re right, Costel! We fought with such an acerbity for such finite things!
Their durability will last some days, sufficiently to get discomposed and smell as a
carcass.
– That’s it?! It doesn’t depend of us, it is the Creator’s willing. He is meaning
everyone’s destiny.
– You’re right, Costel. We are like toys and the Creator is playing with us the
way he wants.
– We’ll get our reward sometime…
– Let’s hope, I said in a friendly voice.
While discussing to Costel I felt a superior to me force, that was pushing me
strongly to my real body, which was laying dead near the Costel’s one. Those
present at that unordinary spectacle, managed to enjoy us, covering our bodies with
an impermeable, thinking we were dead.
I was trying to withstand somehow the force that was pushing me to the stolen
body, but vainly. After knowing that sublime state, inexplicable pleasant, that
wasn’t alike to the terrestrial life, I wasn’t thanked to obtain my body anymore, the
body I cried so much for. My body seemed to me not big enough, after I had known
other dimensions. I was too big for a such small body. My body came alive after
some minutes of accommodation. I took the impermeable away with one hand and
asked my pals for help. I felt a pain and a weakness that was certainly felt by
Costel, some minutes ago.
– Hurra a a a a a a a a a a a a! I cried. I won! The magic words of the abbot
saved me. Rise me, friends!
All that present were numb of what happened, for a moment, especially after
being sure of my death. They approached me and rose me up, the doctor starting to
accord me the first aide .
– I wasn’t believing in such miracles, said the doctor gapingly and timorously
the same time. I’ve only heard about everything I saw today, but I understand now
that all the abnormalities can become normal things immediately. I’ll have what to
tell about to my wife and children!
– All that is unusual for the human ration, can become a total usage, only
accepting these, I said.
– I don’t agree with you, replied me the doctor a little confused. Absolutely all
the miracles happen to the unusual people. You are one of them. You are so lucky
having the possibility of playing with the supernatural.
– You are lucky, ordinary people, that the supernatural isn’t playing with you.
Do you know the tragic destiny of the men who get into the influence sphere of the
supernatural forces? No! What sensation did you have seeing me coming from a
body into another?
– What do you mean? asked the doctor wonderingly.
– You cured two different bodies, that were fighting some minutes ago. Thou
you cured both of them you cured only me!
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 – It is really something unclear here. You hit your body pitilessly until you
bruised it and incarnating it after that!
– Now, imagine, that I would do these permanently, moving myself from a
body into another? Even my best friends wouldn’t know when they are talking to
me and when they are not. Imagine that during your entire life, you are thinking
how to regain your body, instead of thinking about love, family and joy. You have
no individuality or personal life.
– You’re right, we are really one thousand times happier then you, all the
strangers! said the doctor convincible, nursing my bruises and grazes. However, we
are grinded by a curiosity you have fed already, knowing what we don’t know yet!
– Limit yourself at what you know. Sometimes, the additional knowledge,
brings you regrets.
– Your affirmations are right. I think I should be thanked that I know the
medicine quite well. What else I should need?
– Hey, Costel, I see you came alive! exclaimed Dorel smiling.
– After this returning to normality, I’m not Costel anymore, I’m Nick.
– It doesn’t matter. You remain to be the same kind and courageous man for
me.
– I’ll be thankful to you till my death. To Dorel, Sasha, Mr. Serghey, Andrew
and even to you, policemen, because you got involved in the solving of this
problem, I said a little shyly.
All of them were watching me happily, starting to applaud, being initiated by
Mr. Serghey.
– I wish you good luck! told me one of the policemen. We had never met such
a case since we activate in the sphere of security.
– We hope it will be the last tumultuous situation! said another policeman,
smiling with satisfaction.
While this, one of the policemen who were there, but whose missing wasn’t
noticed, came back, holding four bottles of vodka.
– Let’s drink for our glory, he cried rising the bottle up. Isn’t so, friends?
– Of course! cried all the same time.
We entered the storehouse, being very wet. There was still raining outside.
After drinking for some ponies, everyone of us got so hot, as we weren’t even
feeling the weather’s coolness. Everyone was happy, but I don’t know why. It was
me who might been happy, but they were happier than me. Finally, after more than
an hour of jokes and funny stories, we have decided to go home.
– Nick! said Dorel a little drunk, as we decided at Murmansk, we should drink
today. This is only the beginning.
– We’ll drink until we fall, I assured him.
– Alexander! one of the policemen asked Mr. Serghey, could you drive us till
Murmansk?
– Certainly, the policemen help always each other.
Getting out from the storehouse, we have stayed thunder-stricken. Costel was
not there anymore. I knew it will be so, while the others were surprised by his
spontaneous disappearance.
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 One of the policemen, took off the impermeable that covered the dead body of
Costel, for convincing himself about his disappearance.
– He came alive, idiot! cried Mr. Serghey irritate.
“Let him go”, I said to myself. “I don’t need him, anyway. After today
experience, if I would meet him, we’ll act certainly like two old friends. Leaving
the bodies, the souls become clean, honest and even innocent.”
– We’ll capture him, anyway, he won’t run from us, said one of the policemen,
not affected at all by the criminal’s disappearance.
– If he’ll stay to live in our small town, we capture him in the shortest time,
assured us another policeman.
In my opinion, they could let him go, cause it was the last test of Evil,
however. He was not going to oppress me with such bizarre things, anymore.
Not lengthening the time, we traversed the railway, passed over the wire fence,
getting close to the police cars. Dorel, Sasha, Mr. Serghey, Andrew, the driver and
me, got into an OAZ, but the others into a BMW.
– Hey, boys! said Dorel with a burning desire of having fun. Let’s go to a club
this night. We deserve to rest a little, after such a tiredness, and to be accompanied
by some gentle ladies, ready for everything?!
– Perfectly! assigned Andrew. The youth is passing hurry-scurry near me. I
agree.
– What about you Serghey? asked Dorel.
– No, I can’t. I’m married, I can’t betray my wife.
– Serghey, said Sasha calmly, if you don’t betray, you are betrayed.
– No, if you betray, then your wife is disposed to set you horns, too.
– I have another opinion. When you are betraying, the other partner is
preoccupied how to stop you from the immorality and no way to do the same.
– You’re right, Sasha, said Dorel affirmatively.
– The women deserve to be betrayed, because only they incite us at
unforgettable parties. It would be better for them to educate their gender until the
men won’t find other women to betray their wives with, was meditating Andrew.
– You’re right, Andrew! approved Dorel. An amazing fun is waiting for us.
We’ll catch the most sexy girls. Ah, when I’m thinking about this!!!
– I see you like the adventures, Dorel…You remained the same from the
youth, said Mr. Serghey.
– I’m their brothers, ha, ha, ha, laughed Dorel noisily. I had never met the girls
from Murmansk. I’m curious to see them in bed.
– I think it would be better to go to a light-minded girl than to go to a club. She
has a three-rooms flat. She’ll call some bitches more if necessary! We’ll have
enough space for demonstrating our sexual abilities, interrupted him Andrew.
– I like this idea, too, accepted Sasha. Press the clutch, driver. We are moving
like snails. This OAZ is not even comparing with my Jeep.
– With your dead Jeep, ha, ha, ha, said Dorel, smiling as usually.
We got to Murmansk in approximately an hour. The driver led us to the
indicated address, but Mr. Serghey left farther to his dear wife. We established to
meet the next day in his office.
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 We entered a block from the centre of the town, at the fourth floor. Before this,
we got in a mini-market, for buying some bottles of vodka, sweets for our little
girls, who were going to satisfy our caprices, and other details. Getting to the flat’s
door, Andrew pressed the riger.
A super beautiful girl opened the door immediately.
– Ah, Andrew! It’s you?! What a surprise! Come in, Come in!
– Aren’t we bothering you?
– Not at all, I took a shower later and I’m watching the TV, now.
– Perfectly! exclaimed Andrew.
After we entered the apartment, Andrew called the girl in a corner, whispering
her something. Thou they were six-seven meters away from us, we could intercept
the entire dialogue.
– Galea, find three girls more for my friends, said Andrew.
– It’s done, I’ll call some girls immediately. They’ll be here soon.
– Invite the most insatiable ones, Andrew proposed her.
– Be calm, we are the same, she assured Andrew.
A short, but a concrete dialogue. While she was calling her girl friends, Dorel
opened a bottle and exclaimed loudly in Moldovan – “Viva bitches!”
Watching him, but not understanding anything, Andrew said in his language –
“Let’s drink for the fun we’ll have.”
– Let it be so! exclaimed Sasha.
Each of us drank for a glass, after what, Galea said a little sadly:
– Aren’t you treating me, too!
– Of course we do! Andrew rushed to give her a full glass.
– Be in force for your entire life! She said before empting the glass. There will
come two girls more and my neighbor will be the third, I’ll call her immediately.
– But who is your neighbor, isn’t she an aunt? asked Dorel amusingly, pouring
one glass more.
– Certainly, Said Galea smiling. She is divorced, having less than thirty years!
– Perfectly, exclaimed Dorel. She will be the Nick’s partner.
– With pleasure, if she wants me! I answered.
– Whom aren’t wanting the women? said Galea full of passion.
She was watching Andrew with a soul thirst and an uncontrolled body desire.
Thou I didn’t have such kind of experiments, I could percept the most sensible
moments of the women, anyway, especially when they are hardly wishing that
something and aren’t daring to ask for it. Galea had a long, curling hair. Her bright
green eyes, as of a feline, were watching Andrew covetously, almost ready to
effectuate the last jump and devour him. She had a perfect body. Her thighs were
the most attractive ones, contouring gently through the tight trousers.
Those two friends of Galea, came in less than fifteen minutes. Two lovely girls
of about twenty– two years old, used to all kind of experiments. Entering the room,
they sat comfortably on the sofa, one of them close to Costel and the another, near
to Dorel. I realized immediately that they were dizzy. They wanted to be in mood,
probably. While this, Galea opened the door to another guest, her neighbor, whom
she called a few minutes ago. Galea whispered her something. The young lady
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approached and greeted us, sitting down directly by my side. She sat so closely, that
her leg was a little risen over mine. She was a blonde with blue eyes and round
shapes, exactly for my taste. She had a breast ornated with two big bosoms, hard
and straight as two oaks.
For releasing the atmosphere a little, Galea put some music. Dorel was pouring
continuously vodka. In less than an hour, all of us were drunk. If we were a team
from the beginning, now, everyone was taking care of his partner.
Andrew took Galea and entered one of the rooms, but Dorel and Sasha were
dancing rhythmically with their girls. I was sat near my lady, touching with kisses
her gentle, white face. I felt she was a little excited, cause she invited me suddenly
into her next apartment, where she lives alone with her child of an year.
I made her understand that I’m ready to accompany her till the end of the earth,
so I told my pals not to forget to take me the next day.
Entering her flat, I felt a grave silence. You could not even compare that
atmosphere with the one from the neighbor flat. There was her child sleeping in a
small swing, not even flinching because of the noise we did. I was watching into
her eyes and I understood that she wants me enormously, too.
– Let’s enter the bed-room, she proposed me, taking my hand.
Turning on the light, a very agreeable imagine appeared in front of my eyes.
There was a big sofa in middle of the bed-room, ornate with white as snow sheets.
There was a quite big kind of candela, on the small table, next to the bed and my
new girl friend rushed to light it, turning off the light then.
She laid on the bed, telling me calmly that the light is bothering her. I even
encouraged her, telling that a light of a candle is more suitable for such moments. I
laid next to her, asking her name:
– My name is Maria, but why does it matter? she grudged me a little irritably.
I realized immediately that I’m too hesitant, dragging the time too much. I took
her in my arms, laying her head comfortably on the soft pillow, taking out her
shoes. I could see her very excitant lingerie under the very short skirt! I took her
blue little blouse with gentle moves, discovering her nudity. She had a perfect body
building. All her bones were covered with a thin stratum of muscles. She was so
soft that I even wanted to bite her. I had tried to relax and excite her at maximum,
kissing and touching her gently. She wasn’t withstanding me at all. Everything was
happening slowly. Thou we were different persons, we had the same desire.
Gradually, she started fermenting herself heatedly under my body. Without any
rush, I took off her brassiere and threw it down indifferently. Two big, heavy
bosoms arose innocently and full of shyness. I threw my head between them,
collecting the perfume that was indwelling there, applied probably, before entering
the Galina’s apartment. I was the same to a bee that is swallowing from the flowers’
nectar. Her body was hot-blooded already. Her warm remembered me about the
fresh bread from the oven, that you are hardly holding it in your mouth. Maria was
emanating a supportable warm, which you’ll be ready to feel it even sleeping. He
was approving passionately with her head, telling me to act quicker, but I was not
even listening to her. I wanted to oppress her with my slowness. These moments are
as pleasant as the sex itself. With excitant moves, I poked my hands under her short
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skirt, holding her soft thighs. I passed my hands over her round, voluptuous hips,
holding gently her bikini, trundling it down to the body. The wire from the
deepness of her buttocks, was hesitating to detach, but after a minuscule effort, it
escaped the pleasant strait of the thighs, too. I rose up the little skirt for watching a
little the thesaurus, that millions of men are crazy about. Finally, I took off her last
vestment and Maria was laying naked as “Eva” in front of me. I wanted to devour,
or to embrace her tightly, so that to fuse her with my kind. After some moments of
kisses and under abdominal touches, she raised and started to take my splashy and
still wet cloth off, with an amazing speed. The desire of feeling my organ inside,
struggled her. She rushed impatiently to take my trousers off, throwing me with
vitality down and humping me then. She embraced me so tightly, as I thought her
body hotness comes from the sun. Covering my body with hers, she was like a
quilt, that protected me from the night’s frost. After some moments, she raised
again. Staying on her knees over me, she took my organ in her hand and fitted it
into her vagina. Thou her liquid was flowing abundantly, I penetrated her quite
hardly.
– I hadn’t made love for half an year, she told me groaning, Penetrate me
slowly, until I’ll get used to this, ah, ah!
Initially seldom, then oftener, then much oftener, she began jumping up and
down, above me. I held her hips for helping her to move easier.
– Ah, how pleasant, ah, ah, I’m dreaming, mmmmm…, cramp my thighs,
cramp them good, ah, pinch me.
Both of us were raving. She was flickering her head, prickling my body with
her fair hair. She was moving uncontrolled. Sometimes, after some up and down
jumps, she let her body weight over my hard as a piece of steel organ.
– Ah, I feel you so good, I feel you as getting into my stomach. I didn’t feel
this way being with my ex-husband. This pleasure is getting me crazy! Ah, ah, ah,
my orgasm is close, quicker, I’m mussing, wow, ah, aaaaaa…
I was jumping as a crazy, too, for giving her an unforgettable orgasm.
Both of us were inflamed by pleasure the same time. Those moments of
ecstasy, the words of some Crowley, which I had read from a book, impaled my
mind: “Everything is about sex and we can’t get to God than through the erotic
initiation. The death of the right one must be produced in the orgasm.” Certainly,
the human orgasm makes you know another world, another dimension, something
divine. My thoughts were interrupted by the Maria’s voice, who asked me
exhaustedly:
– And what is your name?
– I’m Nicolae, or Nick, as you want!
– Nick! Your name is so cute!
She was still staying over me, moving her body up and down, what was
maintaining my organ ready for another orgasm. I raised and put Maria under
myself. It was my turn to give her another orgasm for this time. I poked my hands
under herself, holding tightly her thighs and even the whole pelvis. Maria enlaced
me between her legs, set comfortably around me. Both of us had an one orgasm
more, after what I laid next to her, being tired and sweaty.
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 – How was it? she asked me curiously.
– It was excellent. Your body corresponds totally to my desires. It was worth
to depose effort for making you feel good. You are exceptionable.
– Thank you, you are as well! How old are you? she asked me.
– Between fifteen and twenty, can you guess?
– Nineteen!
– Not even. But… did I do it worse than a man?!
– Not at all. You have some qualities that some men don’t possess them even
at the age of thirty.
– What qualities?
– It shouldn’t interest you so much.
– OK, I understood, and how old are you? I asked her, touching her cute and
excited bosoms, I would kiss forever.
– I’m twenty-eight years old. I divorced half year ago, but I do not regret it.
– But what is the reason, if not secret?
– There were more reasons. He was betraying me, first of all. He was beating
me secondly. And thirdly, he was dependent of alcohol.
– As I can understand, he ruined your life, especially your youth.
– Exactly, he had promised me the sea and the moon…
– Don’t be sad! I was consoling her.
– I was a Christian, the member of a religious cult and see where I got, because
of a sneak? He deflowered me, beat me and left me alone with a child.
– Was he the first man from your life?
– He was and you are the second already.
– Are you sorry you made love to me? What ‘s with you… Don’t regret such
beautiful things.
– If you think this can be considerate a nice thing, it means you don’t know the
real dimension of the beauty.
– Then, where else could you find pleasure and beauty, if not in sex?...
– Till yesterday, I was finding satisfaction in my permanent relationship with
God. The life is so beautiful in His companionship! You can’t even imagine the
sensation you have when you feel him inside of your soul. The pleasure is a
thousand times bigger than the orgasm. Because of the depression, I started to
drink, to smoke, to dress and speak indecently, to beat my child when he’s crying
weirdly and finally, I slept with you. I can’t control my actions anymore. I kept
myself or a man and what for, the bitches are luckier, anyway?! Gradually, I’m
turning aside from God and I start to do more and more abject sins. I’m losing
myself slowly…
– Don’t whim yourself. If you were a Christian once, you’ll get back later. Be
sure of this.
– After doing all the possible sins? I’ll be ashamed to kneel in front of God. If I
had had a Christian man as I was, I wouldn’t get till here, probably.
– Maria, is better to be out of any religious cult, but faithful, than being sinner
and member of a sect, what do you say?

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 – If you know a man not going to church, but being religious, I agree, but I
assure you that such a person doesn’t exist. Even if someone boasted himself, don’t
believe him.
– OK, let’s forget about these discussions, I said boringly. I want to take a
shower, cause I’m dirty as a pig. I had so many deals today!
– Are you from Moldova?! she asked me curiously.
– Exactly.
– But, your exterior looks as one of a Northern man! We fit each other
wonderfully! she said.
– Seriously? I didn’t even notice this, I replied her wonderingly.
– Will you be staying for a long time in Murmansk?
– No, I’ll go home tomorrow. We won’t ever see each other, probably.
– Don’t you want to stay here? I have a house, we’ll find you a job with the
help of some relatives. I’m good and I’ll always be this way, only if you’ll be the
same.
– You took me unprepared. I already have a girlfriend in my country, she is
also blond, with blue eyes and her name is also Maria. More than that, she is a
religious person, but you aren’t anymore. The difference of age is another obstacle.
– No, this is not a problem, we look of the same age. I’m as well tender, frail,
nice, sexy, we’ll enjoy our life together, what do you think?
I was swallowing nodes, hearing those words, but a crazy wish was calling me
back, to my Maria, whom I really loved.
– However, Nicolae, even if you won’t be mine, I’ll keep a nice memory about
you.
– What kind of memory? You’ll have a thousand more memories like this.
This was only the beginning.
– You’re wrong. I was good, since I had divorced of my husband, my thought
was only about God, but I was tired of waiting and I erred. And thanked to this sin,
I’ll bear a child, whom you’ll look alike and I’ll give him your name. You can
leave, you are still a child. At least, I will live with the memory that I felt in love
with a man, who is afraid of a sincere, clean woman.
– I was watching her timorously as a stone, I had even no idea what I could tell
her.
– I’ll keep the love I had felt seeing you in Galina’s flat, for our child we
ingenerated together. You can leave.
– Wait a little, I want to sleep with you this night. But let’s take a shower,
firstly.
Maria filled up the bath on a half, and both of us got in. It was such a silence!
Everybody was thinking about his destiny. I couldn’t believe that I’m gone have a
child with a woman of twenty eight years old. Another bizarre thing was about how
could a person fell in love so easy with another person? Asking myself so many
questions, I remembered that I felt in love with Maria from the first glance, too. But
speaking about Maria from Murmansk, there were another circumstances.

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 – Maria, you are still under the sex impression. You are not thinking clearly,
now. More than that, I’ve slept with you, thinking you are a bitch and not such a
good woman!
– You see, I’m not a bitch as you thought, but I’m a disappointed woman.
– I can understand you very well. Now, I would ask you to turn for washing
your back, what do you say? I proposed her temptingly.
Hearing my proposal, she turned back to me immediately.
– I’m ready to do everything for you. Even to give my life for you.
– You have changed from a normal girl into an obsessive one. It’s not good.
– I’m so sorry that I slept with you, I wouldn’t been felt so sinful, unhelpful,
used…, stay with me, please…
– Maria, I have to choose between you and the other Maria.
– Choose me, please. You won’t regret, she said appealingly.
– If I had known where I’m coming, I wouldn’t have accepted the proposal of
my friends! I came to have fun this night, not to get married.
After I had washed her, I said:
– Turn to me and watch me attentively. What did fascinate you so much? Can’t
you see? I’m all in bruises. Look at my eyes, one of them is livid, almost black.
– But the second one is so beautiful, and is not livid at all. And what a nice
hair! Stay with me, my pretty boy. We’ll make happy each other. Don’t refuse me,
you, handsome boy. It’s not nice to do this way.
She seemed to be more beautiful than my Maria, that moment. Her bosoms and
thighs were much bigger and rounder, what made me think more seriously at her
offer. Really, my new girlfriend seemed to be a kind, educated, religious, faithful
being, but who was suffering because of a man’s lack in her life. More than that,
she was going to bear my child.
– Maria, I start to like you more and more, but I need time to think about the
created situation. I’m so confused.
– OK, I don’t rush you to take a decision. But you have to give me an answer,
anyway, not later than tomorrow morning.
– OK, you’ll know my option tomorrow morning.
After bathing, we went to the kitchen for tabling something.
She treated me to a cold soup and fresh bread, after what, we went to bed. She
verified one more time her sleeping child and came under the quilt, embracing me
with both her hands. We couldn’t get asleep, but, though, after more kisses and
intimate touches, we dropped off.
Waking up in the morning, Maria was already preparing food for her child and
coffee for me.
– Are you always waking up so early? she asked me surprisingly.
– As far as I know myself. I have a fixed program of getting up. You have such
a cute child. You look alike so well.
– Certainly, all the people say this. He is having a nice mummy, am I right?
– Of course you are so beautiful and tender!
– Hey, tell me, did you take a decision, are you staying with me? Or…

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 – Listen to me and trust the words I tell you. I’m going home today. I want to
see my parents, I think they are desperate because of me, I want to see my brothers,
too, and to clarify my relationship with Maria, after what, I’ll come back.
– Do you trust me, Maria? I asked her after a pause.
– I believe you. You are such a kind, sincere boy. I’m sure you’ll come back,
especially knowing that a woman who loves you and who’ll give you a child, is
waiting for you.
– You’re right, Maria, I’ll keep my promise and I’ll come to live our together
forever.
While swallowing my coffee, someone rang at the door. Opening the door,
Maria met Dorel, Andrew and Sasha in front of her, all of them being dizzy and
exhausted.
– Are we leaving, brother? asked Dorel, holding his forehead with a hand. We
had drunk more than ever.
– It will pass, it’s not for the first time. Wait me two minutes. I take off my
pajamas and put on my trousers.
Maria was an exceptionable woman, cause when I wanted to dress myself, I
found my clothes cleaned. How did she manage to wash them?
– Thank you, Maria. You proved me that you are kind, educated and a good
housewife, in less than twelve hours. I must leave now, but you keep hoping that
I’ll be back as soon as possible.
– OK, Nicolae. Come to embrace you one more time. I’ll miss you, but I can’t
do anything! she whispered me disappointedly.
– See you soon, princess!
– Hey, did you have fun, Nick? Did you like her? asked me Dorel, beating my
shoulder friendly.
– It was good, very good. An unforgettable night!
– When are we coming back to Murmansk? What do you say?
– At the first occasion, I exclaimed happily.
In comparison with the last day, there was a plenty of people in the street. The
weather was dull and cold. We walked underfoot. We were parching because of our
thin clothes. Only Sasha had a jacket which was protecting him somehow from the
cold wind. We got to the Mr. Serghey’s office in approximately half an hour. He
welcomed us smiling.
– Hey, boys, did it go with the girls?
– Of course. It doesn’t thrive only for the one who doesn’t want it, answered
Andrew enthuse.
– Very well, friends. I talked to some persons from the railway station. You’ll
go home free. I took care of everything. I hope to come in Moldova over three
weeks, too. But, I must exercise my functions till then. Grisha, he called one of his
colleagues. Take the car and lead them to the railway station. Dorel, hold this visit
card and tell to the responsible person that I sent you there. They will give you free
tickets.

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 We were very lucky: exactly that day there was the train from Murmansk
directly to Chisinau. Then, such an itinerary was effectuated twice a week, the route
being suspended later.
– Thank you from all my heart, Mr. Serghey, for the great help you accorded
me. You saved my future.
– Be healthy, Nick. And if you need my help, be sure I’ll help you. You are a
good boy.
– Good bye!
Sasha and me entered the car, Dorel talking a little more to his old friend.
Finally, he came, too, and the driver started the car to our last way from
Murmansk – to the railway.
– We had such an interesting trip, but I am sorry for your car, Sasha, said
Dorel a little despondently.
– It’s OK, I can buy a new one, may be better than my black Jeep, said Sasha
optimistically.
– Hey, these gills are so bad. She had almost swallowed my wealth, ha, ha, ha.
– When, yester-evening? asked Sasha.
– No, no, this morning, before going to the WC, concretized Dorel.
– Ha, ha, ha, we laughed the same time.
– My gill is crazier, said Sasha smiling.
– Did she piss in the bed? asked Dorel wonderingly.
– Exactly.

***

We got to Moldova in approximately three days. During our way home, Sasha
told me a joyful new:
– Nicolae, I can’t take that one thousand instead of our help. We had been of
your age and we know what means asking money from the parents. I think the
humanity is more valuable than some baleful money.
– You’re right, I said, being a little surprised of his decision.
– We remain friends. If you need my help, know that I’m always ready to
intervene. You’ll become someone after a while and you’ll be able to help me too,
what do you say?
– Certainly, I asserted. I will encourage you every time you’ll need me. Your
laudable act can’t be forgotten.
When we got to Sankt-Petersburg, Dorel left us, for taking the route to
Smolensk.
– Come together, when you can. We’ll have fun with our bitches, too, if you
want, they are not worse than the ones from Murmansk.
There was no difference between us. I don’t know, may be they got down to
my level, or I seemed to be as mature as them. We were tutoring each other,
speaking about less decent things.
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 The majority of the travelers entrained from Sank-Petersburg had been
welcomed in Chisinau by husbands, wives, relatives, friends etc., while Sasha and
me, as two men of nobody, detrained and went farther. There was no known face
that would smile to us.
– Nicolae, you have my phone number and can find me anytime.
– Of course, I approved, while tightening our hands as a good bye sign.
Our team had been dissolved after that nice, troublesome trip. Everyone came
back to his daily life. In comparison with my pals, I was going to start a new life. I
went broken-hearted to Murmansk, in a strange body, obedient to the last exam
imposed by Evil, which I had sustained successfully. From now on, I was never,
absolutely never going to confront such a dilemma. I was totally independent. I
could choose by myself between weal and evil, not being imposed by anyone.
I took my bus to my little village, being impatient to get home. I sat
comfortably on a chair, looking through the window, lost in the thoughts.
Instantaneously, I felt a drowsiness state. I got asleep profoundly. A blinding light
appeared instead of the darkness I saw closing my eyes. I couldn’t understand it’s
appearance. Thou I was sleeping, my brain was still thinking, may be better that
being awaken. With I was trying to thread that inexplicable light intensively for
guessing it’s provenience. Unexpectedly, a uniform voice coming out from the light
immensity spoke:
– Hey, boy, if I was asking you to be my friend firstly, with the condition of
being docile to me, now, I’m asking you the same thing, only this time, our
friendship will be equal. I won’t ever oppress you, cause you passed the most
difficult exam.
– What for? I’ve proved you for uncountable times that you’re your
invincibility is almost over. You must consolidate your position and change your
fight tactic against the humanity, for maintaining your authority.
– I don’t think I need to modify something. There are few people like you. You
belong to the category of the exceptionable ones, who could equal their forces with
mines. The majority of those who fall into my net, are certainly dieing or getting
into the prison later.
– I got into the jail, too, but I got out from there, thanked to my insistence.
– That’s no reason for you to act so courageously. My Father created you
inconsiderately anyway. You are acting like some imperfect mechanisms. What for
are you running from my evilness, if even God made you so vicious, immoral and
so sensible in front of the temptations?! What for are you running from death,
imploring God to retrieve you, giving eternity instead? You are running chaotically
from one eternity to another! I offer you the eternal death, boy! You can do harm as
much as you want, cause you’ll get into an eternity anyway, the death’s one.
– You’re speaking some absurdities, Evil. You’ll better hush.
– I know what I’m talking. I know the nature of divinity perfectly. Why living
with the interdiction of spending your life the way you want to? Why should you
strain yourself when you are acting contrariwise to the Creator’s desire. I came on
Earth specially for getting you out from the biblical terror. One day, God will

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change his attitude toward humanity. I declined the sky for helping you. Why aren’t
you accepting this weal?
– What weal? The one of causing harm?
– Not only this. You can make everything you want. Do you think my Father is
perfect? Oh, no! Something imperfect can’t come out from something perfect. As
you are saying, I’m imperfect. Is it possible for me to get out from the pure
divinity? Everything you see in the Bible, are only deceptive appearances. All the
celestial abjection is stifled by my Father himself. He thinks he’s perfect.
– I’m not interested in anything you told me, stop! I cried irritate. You said
you’ll leave me forever. Why aren’t you respecting your promise?
– We were just discussing. As two friends. I’m not imposing you anything, I’m
just presenting you some realities. You must be glad that you have the chance of
knowing such things. I’m the one come from the skies, for telling you the truth. I’m
the legitimate son of God and I declined the sky for living my destiny freely. The
world’s beauty is too tempting for me. I couldn’t stay as a stone, high in the sky,
and watching the women’s beauty without touching it.
– As far as I understand, your weaknesses are the God’s ones, too?
– I don’t know his weaknesses, but I like the immorality…
– The birds of a flock go together! I said.
– Exactly, asserted Evil.
– In your opinion, all the people are like toys and don’t have the right to do
anything!
– You have the right at interdictions, only. Then, what are you living for? And
the life is so short!...
– You have a fighting spirit, Evil. You are a real insurgent. Sometimes, it’s
better to let your head down and to struggle weirdly for an unrealizable cause. If
God chose this way of governing the world, nobody can withstand him. Analyzing
the way the God is governing us, I have noticed uncountable trumps, excepting the
small disadvantages.
– And what did you notice so good in the whole divine creation?
– God makes us hope for the next day, giving us the right to perfect ourselves,
for being allowed in the eternal Eden. In comparison with Him, you don’t give us
any hope. You are living with today.
– These are being some subtleties, which aren’t noticed by too many people,
said Evil, hoping to flatter me.
– It’s absurd to discuss about these themes, you are having your position, and
you won’t abandon it anyway. Leave me alone, please. I need quit. I want to clean
my head. You had imbibed my brain with all kind of stupidities.
– Who, me? asked Evil wonderingly.
– The monk and you are having some extremist conceptions, which I can’t
accept. Even if I like some of them.
– As far as I understand, you want to be manipulated, but you can’t do it, said
Evil.
– Sometimes is good to have a tutor and to listen to Him, but…

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 – But, you are a mutineer, too. You are exactly like me. We have a lot in
common. That’s why I came to you. But you sent me away and my father, too. I’ll
come to speak to you, again!
– Wait a minute, Evil. Tell me something, please. What is Maria doing?
– It will be better for you to come back to Murmansk. The another Maia is
more suitable for you. Listen what I’m saying.
– But this is so young and nice!
– Don’t play with the youth! It is the age of temptations and disappointments.
It is the age of desires and insecurity. It is the age of passions, but of the hate, too.
Don’t risk. Listen what I’m saying. Near all the harm I had caused you, I’m
advising you about something good. Go back to Murmansk!
– I’ll meditate very well about this. I don’t rush to take any decisions. I made
enough mistakes during my life.
The moments I’ve pronounced the last words, Evil disappeared. I had
continued my sleep until I got to my hamlet. Very slowly, not rushing, I walked on
the stone way, that was winding through the hills, leading me to our house from the
forest. A strong, hot sun was burning my back, still dominated by the Northern
coolness. The birds were trilling in different languages. You could view tens of
villagers on the large fields, working at their sunflower and corn crops. What a
quite life they were having. They weren’t thinking about the noise of the big towns,
about the excessive rush of having fun. They were thanked with the nature’s
silence, that was offering a full, soul satisfaction. They weren’t interested about the
new, science progresses, wars, the policy or the economy. Their thought is about
growing carefully the plants for having what to eat. They had a quite simple way of
living, but not innocent at all.
I got to the spring’s bank that was straining his waters till the forest’s laps,
where I had spent my childhood, in approximately three quarters of hours. The
memories of me snatching snakes and playing with them, were appearing in my
mind. I remembered the moments of swimming and laying in the sun, having the
sensation of me being on the beach.
Slowly, slowly, I was approaching our house, hidden in the brushwood. I saw
the blueness of the cottage I grew in, through the persistent greenery of the trees. A
friendly yap of dog was welcoming me at the gate. It was our puppy, the one I was
loving the most from all the animals we had there. Suddenly, the warm voice of my
mother, raying of gladness, cried:
– Nick k k k k k k k is coming!
It was a nice meet. It didn’t pass too much time since we hadn’t seen each
other, but, the multitude of the happenings I got through, seemed to me an eternity.
My mother told me detailed about Costel’s behaviour, when he came to us with the
monk. Thou he was having my body, she was intuiting about something being
wrong there. She was realizing that she sees a glacial attitude instead of my warm
and friendly glances. The eyes were of the same bright-blue, but were of glass, as of
a nocturne fiend. She couldn’t calm down, until the prison’s director hadn’t come to
us for telling her the new.

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 – If you were accepting to be the God’s child, you wouldn’t certainly got into
such a situation. You have always been a disobedient.
That subject made me nervous, that’s why I didn’t allow my mother to disturb
my spiritual stability, gained a few weeks ago, and I told her categorically:
– Hush, don’t make me crazy with the stupidities poached from all the fans.
Don’t you realize that it washed your brain?
– I want you to be a religious man, son. Can’t you get this?
– There were many of those who tried to transform themselves into religious
dolls and look at the disaster they caused to the humanity?! Stalin was disappointed,
more or less, about the Theological Seminar from Tbilisi, where he had been a
student for a while; Darwin studied the theology; Lenin, after some probabilities,
hated the religion because of some church people, who executed his brother; Hitler
had been manipulated by the Thule group, a sect with a mystic character; Marx
suffered near his father, Christian kike. The list can be continued without ending.
The deep involvement into a certain field, steals the man from the individuality,
from the possibility of thinking clearly about another things. Why are many
prisoners getting crazy?
– They are already mad! said mum a little irritated.
– You’re wrong. Namely there, they get crazy, the reason being the permanent
thought about freedom. We meet such examples very often. I want to be a balanced
man from now on. I could abandon the extremism, that’s why I’m asking you not to
tell me these childish things anymore.
– OK, I won’t enervate you anymore, mother spoke gently, thinking to calm
me down. Your brothers will come soon. They are gathering the hay.
– OK, mum. Give me something to eat, please, cause I can’t resist anymore. I
missed your food so much.
After eating a mushroom stew, I had discussed with my mother until my
brothers came. The meet was very nice. I was not keeping anymore even a gram of
the docility toward the Evil. I was totally changed. I began catching the taste of
smiling, of jokes, of some things I’ve been hated before. I was hating the happy
people. Thou I was obedient by Evil, surprisingly, but I was not obeyed by vices.
Evil concentrated his fight against my moral stability, not through the imposing of
the world’s vices, but through causing harm to another people. I was in a quite
difficult situation. It seemed impossible for me to find the problem’s origin, which
made me refractor to the evil’s orders. The problem was not only about causing
harm to the people around me, but the one of not being able to be someone’s
obedient. I had been always liked to be treated equally, even being obedient to a
superior force. I think these things seem to be bizarre to many readers, or may be
out of sense. It’s certainly an appearance only. A lot of quite difficult phenomena is
being hidden in the content of these banalities, which are not considered daily for a
simple earthling, but are even risking to remain not understandable for a lot of us.
Good for those who don’t understand, or are not even aspiring to an illumination of
their conscience, cause they have the chance of not being touched by the harmful
wing of Evil. The Evil doesn’t touch anyone. He prefers the controversial ones, the
not obedient ones, the seekers of freedom, the ones who are blasting his name, the
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ones who are not being afraid of him. The other categories of people I hadn’t
nominalised, are eventual victims of Evil, anyway. Every person can become as
well the child of God, as the Evil’s one.
– Nick, do you want us to play football?! the youngest brother had interrupted
my meditation.
– Of course I do, I answered him amiably.
We had played with the ball till the evening, when our mother called us to
supper. After that, I began talking with my mother, as I had never done before. I
told her about the mazy situation I was finding in, asking her opinion. I had also
told her about the fact that I’m going to have a child with a very kind woman from
Murmansk, but I also didn’t want to lose Maria from Moldova.
– You know better what to do, you’ll not listen to my advice anyway, said
mother, suppressing hardly her emotions.
I was trying to forget the one Maria known at Murmansk, but there was
something bending me of her. I couldn’t explain myself how was it possible such a
relationship, during a night. For not confronting myself with the thoughts anymore,
I decided to go to bed. The next day, in the morning, I had the intention of going to
the monastery and visit the abbot, and then, Maria. I hadn’t even laid my head on
the pillow, that I remembered something extremely important: I hadn’t even been
passing to see my cave. The cave of my troubles. The cave where will always
persist the Evil’s spirit and the one I’m going to keep in my memory forever. I went
to see it, but not being alone this time, but accompanied by my little brother, the
home’s cadet. Watching it down, I had discovered a dark, dreadful mouth, that was
opening in front of me. Some infernal noises, desperate shrieks were streaming out
from there, but fortunately, it was only me the one who could receive them. My
brother, was looking it amusingly, telling me:
– We build it so hardly and now it is ruined!
– Don’t worry. Such things are keeping for a long period. Especially our cave.
It’s durability will be kept as long as it will have a “Supervisor”. As long as it has
one, be calm.
Fortunately, my brother didn’t realize whom I alluded. After some
contemplation minutes, we went back to the house for going to bed. There was still
maintaining in my body, the tiredness of the last days, that’s why I got asleep as a
stump, in a very short time.

***

– Nice to see you, Father! I cried happily.

– Oh, son, you came to see me! exclaimed the abbot gladly.
– Of course! I can’t forget the persons who helped me in the most critical
moments of my life! You are one of the important people who contributed at my
victory. Your prayers had been heard till the end of the earth. The magic words I
learnt from your Saint, helped me a lot.
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 – I learnt people only good things, since I had been a monk. Nobody will ever
sustain that I gave him a bad advice. Hey, come here, under the shadow and tell me
about everything you passed through, from the start till the end, he was impelling
me, holding his hand on his back, attenuating the age’s pain this way.
We sat down on two nubs, under an oak’s shadow. It was a nice, warm day,
and the surrounding atmosphere was predisposing to confessions. I had retold him
particularly about the happenings from Murmansk for almost half an hour. I had
also told him about the affair with that young lady from the town.
– Father, do you know something about Maria? I want to see her…
– Maria is continuing to come to the monastery, almost everyday, for lightning
a candle and pray. I’m trying to provoke her for a discussion, but she’s so downcast
the last time, that I can’t find out anything from her. Something is oppressing her,
but I don’t know what exactly. She’s probably missing you!
– How do you think, will she come today?
– I don’t know, but I can call her for telling her about you. She’ll come for
sure.
The abbot made a short pause, thinking if it’s good to exteriorize his thoughts
or not. Finally, he said:
– You see, Nick, thou your faith was unlocked from a point of view, you
complicated much more your life with these girls, from another point of view…
– What do you mean?! I asked him thrilled.
– As you said earlier, you are probably waiting for a child, of a woman from
Murmansk, then, may be one of Maria, too…
– What did you say?! Is Maria pregnant?!
– I didn’t want to tell you, but…
– Father, I have no fault. The main responsible is Costel. He let her pregnant. I
had never slept with her.
– Oh, yes, she slept with your body. It doesn’t matter that there was another
soul in it. Don’t run of responsibility. I know I’m being too hard with you, but I
can’t bear the men who are running of responsibility. Do as a real man. You’ll stay
with Maria. Forget the one from Murmansk. You don’t know for sure if she’s
pregnant at least. If I was telling you initially that she’s a foul girl, I convinced
myself that she is a golden person and you shouldn’t let her go…
– Father, I don’t know really what to say. If I had known that she’s pregnant I
wouldn’t come back, but…
– But, what? asked the abbot indignantly.
– You’re right, Father. This girl is so tender… I wouldn’t ever cede her to
someone. I can’t forget the day I felt in love with her. Speaking truly, I don’t love
the one from Murmansk. I admire her for the kindness she showed me. As a
mother. This is what I want from my life. I want my wife to take care of me as a
mother does…
– Only children have such aspirations, Nick. Shame on you!
– Thou I consider myself being a real man, I’m a belated adolescent, however.
But, Father, I think all the men are waiting for touching and education from their
wives!
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 – This is very bad, said the abbot convinced.
– We are living once, anyway, and we must take advantage of touching and not
only from a woman, but from more of them…
– This contradicts the God’s commands. Remember the postulate in which
God is impelling us for not acting immorally. You don’t get to Heaven this way.
What for such a risk? Isn’t sufficient for you to have a woman?...
– It would be very interesting to get to Heaven and to meet all the tyrants there,
who committed a lot of bad actions, but who atoned themselves at the end of their
life. And vice versa, I would like to get to Hell, to see the humble people and the
humiliated ones, who had been praying for their entire life, but said a curse, or
something like this, a moment before dying, losing the eternal life this way. It
would be a social iniquity of God. But this is not the most important thing now.
Help me, please, to call Maria…
While forming her number, an inside tension was heating me till the apogee. A
strong, guilty feeling was governing me. Anyway, thou was the Costel’s soul inside
of my body, my hand injured her, my organ let her pregnant, my word made her
suffer.
– Hello, Maria, it’s me, Nick! I said with a shaking voice.
– Hello, I’m listening to you, she answered me off-handily.
– Maria, don’t you recognize me? It’s me, Nick!
– I’m sorry, I don’t know whom I am talking to. I don’t know anybody having
this name, good bye.
Telling these, Maria rang off. What a disappointment. She was not even
wanting to hear my name. Certainly, Costel destroyed her morally. I was just trying
to imagine the spiritual pain she’s going through, feeling the same time a cold
trembling shuttering me violently. Poor girl, she needed consolation, sustaining,
advices.
– Father, could you try to speak to her. May be you’ll convince her to come to
monastery!
– OK, son. She won’t ignore me.
– Hello, I don’t understand you Maria! You was hoping to regain Nick and
you’re not recognizing him now…
– Ah Father, is that you?
– Come here quickly. Nick is waiting for you.
– Is the real Nick back?
– Yes, my daughter! The boy you met firstly in the church, the boy who loved
you and who is still loving you.
– OK, I’ll be there immediately! she exclaimed happily.
– Son, I don’t want to listen you talking about that girl from Murmansk. Your
relationship with Maria is blessed by God. You met each other in the saint mortise,
persisted by divine wit. You’ll be happy with her…
– But, Evil told me that I’ll be extremely happy with the another Maria. He
told me that he’s advising me as a good friend.
– How can you trust a fiend like this? Didn’t he cause you enough harm?

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 – Yes, but the situation has changed. He left me in peace, giving my freedom
back.
– You have wrong impressions about Him. Don’t you see anything suspect in
his behaviour?
– I think, no! I said wonderingly.
– You’re risking to fall in his net again, but knowing it, this time. Seeing he
can’t make you docile forcedly, he’ll attract you slowly, until you’ll snatch the
hook. That beach from Murmansk is the hook for this time. He knows your wishes
and the girls you prefer. He knows that you don’t accept Him, either God, too, but,
you like the religious girls. He set her on your way. Apparently, she is religious, but
there is no Christian woman who would sleep with somebody after an hour of their
acquaintance? Do you really think that she’s pregnant with your child?
– I’m not sure. But, if you want to know, she attracted me especially through
her innocent, woman behaviour.
– Don’ you ever trust the women. They are assigning themselves qualities,
they are not even deserving.
– I feel my heart is broken in halves. It is divided into equal proportions for
each of them.
– This sensation is going to pass during a while. Everything has a goal and a
certain signification in this life. Nothing can be reported to the simple happening.
You are still remaining an important puppet in front of the Great leader of universe
and of the dirty Evil. Don’t live with the illusion of getting totally rid of Him. The
interest of Evil for playing with your life didn’t disappear.
– Father, you’re horrifying me. I was so happy till now!
– Keep being like this, but make every step prudently. Try to impose yourself
the thought that Maria is the only girl you’re caring about.
– I will try, Father. Thank you for the valuable advices you give me.
– It is my duty. I must conciliate the ones who get into suck dilemmatic
situations. You can go to the vespers this evening, f you want. Even you don’t want
to accept Jesus as being your Saviour and Redeemer, I’m asking you to accompany
me at least. I’m not trying to impose you any religious conception, cause you’ll
accept God by yourself, after a while of contesting his Omnipotence. Be sure of
this. I was exactly like you…
– I don’t know what the future is reserving to me, but I know that I’m free at
least, for being glad of this state.
– You’ll abandon this idea, too, after a while. You’ll understand that the man is
a mechanism, which can’t operate without spirituality after a while. People had
looked for a refuge in the deities they were creating and trusting, since the
antiquity. The natal feeling about the life after death is still persisting in the man’s
subconscious. We are operating according to the eternity’s principle, the earth being
the primary trampoline, which is propelling us into the universe of eternity. Even if
you try to escape this reality, finally, you’ll understand that you can’t live without
it. Haven’t you ever thought about our life being not a simple happening on this
Earth? About the every man’s destiny written in a register? That is better to be sure

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about our eternity, living in religiousness? That God is not an invented figure, but a
reality that can not be abstract?
– Father, these are being things I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I
don’t try to contest His existence. I’m only deferring the things a little. But the
slowness is not my final decision.
– The people are starting to cultivate themselves some machiavellic manners,
covering or making the perception of the human sincerity harder to be noticed. May
be that’s why we are ascertaining for a lot times that almost nothing is real, from
what we see with the eyes, or feel with the soul. The reality had been dissimulated,
the appearances being dominating. What determines us thinking that the ones who
are frequenting the libraries, are gathering the wisdom, too?
– Do you think that there are no more people thirsty of wisdom?
– Of course there are. But a few of them. Even if the light is lightening our
way, it isn’t lightening our mind as well. Thou we can mellow the fiends, we are
becoming worse and worse. As more churches are build, as less parishioners are
visiting them. Thou we are thinking about our age, we don’t even know if we get
till tomorrow. Thou we want to make more weal, we can’t defy the evilness from
us. Thou our glances are being straightened to the sky, our legs are steeping into the
slush. Even if we are becoming more and more courageous, we should be ashamed
of our lives. Thou we love the world, we hate the Providence. There is no way for
our facts and words to be bend each from other. Thou we are creating trumps, we
are ruining like a doom. Thou our faces and bodies are human, we got to be as a
wreck. There is only rust remained from us…
– Father, don’t be so pessimist. Be glad of what you had managed to do till
now. You have a lot of things to be proud of…
– I can’t be glad that I got to the tops of the knowledge, knowing where I’m
coming from and what a person I had been before. That’s why every man should
live a clean, nice present, for not waking up the next day with a detestable and
regrettable past.
While the abbot was meditating orally, and I was listening to him interested,
looking through the window of the room I have called Maria from, I had noticed
her car, entering the monastery’s yard. I asked him to get out for welcoming the
little princess.
– Wow, Maria, you came so quickly as a wind blow! exclaimed the old abbot
enthuse, touching his grey beard carefully.
Maria, being the same beautiful as at our first meeting, had blushed of
emotions and approved the abbot’s sayings, dropping her head a little. She wasn’t
even daring to watch me. But I was staying woodenly. I hadn’t known what to
enterprise, to get close and embrace her, or to knell for disclosing mu great love for
her. Finally, I had pronounced a banal phrase:
– What are you doing, Maria?
Having the glances straightened down, she answered me bravely:
– I think you had realized very well what I’m doing! What would be able to do
a pregnant, helpless girl?...

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 She had raised her eyes to me. I had noticed two livid hollows under her eyes,
appeared probably because of the uncountable tears. The little girl cried, but,
probably nobody understood her sufferance.
I came close to her, without controlling my moves. We were so close to each
other, that no sunlight could thread between us. She wasn’t even insisting to go
away. She stayed woodenly, having the head down. Her bright hair was covering
the tender skin of her face. An irresistible force encouraged me to raise my arms
and embrace her. The silent and kind Maria, let herself embraced, poking her silky
nose into the shelter of my chest. Both of us were hushing. Suddenly, Maria began
crying. It was a painful cry, speaking about a great disappointment. The tears were
seeping her face, in melange with the fresh mascara set on the eyebrows. I had the
impression that her black tears, were signifying all the sombre moments she had
lived without me. She was pronouncing some words sank into tears and soughs,
from which I could understand how much she loves me and how long did she wait
for me.
– You are the man of my life, she said in a moment of a spiritual reliving. You
made me woman and I want you to stay mine. Only mine…
– My darling, I’ll be always close to you. Thou I had my spirit into prison,
making love with my body, doesn’t mean that the child your wearing under your
heart isn’t mine.
– I leave you, children, said the abbot. Clarify all the problems and come to the
library after that. I would like to bless your relation.
– But…we are not going to live together! We are still children, I said, aghast
by the word “bless”.
I was not ready for a family life, thou speaking sincerely, I was tempted to try
this way of living, too.
– We’ll come, Father, said Maria, while defacing her tears.
– Calm down, my darling. You had suffered enough, I was trying to console
her, touching her cheeks.
Being without the monk, I took Maria in my arms for relaxing her a little.
– I missed your embracing, Nick. I missed the kisses you haven’t offered me
yet, your passionate glances, your lips which pronounce only nice words…
– I missed you, too. Especially the period I stayed in the prison. I didn’t have
too much time to think about us, after that. I was preoccupied to capture Costel.
– After that idiot told me adieu, I made the impression that I don’t have to pay
attention to all that is beautiful. I had told myself that I won’t ever need a man.
When you called me, I remembered immediately the first span gotten from you, the
first adieu heard from the dearest person. Your soul can not be even compared to
the one of that scamp bandit.
– Can you believe that I would ever be able to hurt you?
– Of course I can’t. But I didn’t know then, that it wasn’t you. I lean to believe
today little by little, that there are great chances for realizing the impossible. I can’t
be one hundred percent sure of anything.
– Except something! I said.
– Which one? She asked me wonderingly.
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 – That I won’t ever leave you!
– Your words are giving me new forces for trusting our love, she said very
enthuse.
– Lady love! I whispered her gently.
– What’s it, my dear? she whispered me, too, with an unusual, sweat voice.
– Do you parents know that you are pregnant?
– Of course they know, but they put me a condition. They said they will send
me off, if I don’t introduce the child’s father to them.
– How can a father do something like this?
– They are very religious and there is no way for them to accept a love-child.
– What can we do, then? We can’t get married now?
– Why not?
– Because I haven’t even finished the school! What do you say if we give up at
this child?
– What do you mean?
– To abort! It is the only possibility…
– No, Categorically no! Maria interrupted me. I’ll keep this memory in my
mind forever. I don’t want to be condemned by God. The single reasonable thing
for us, is to get married, thou we don’t have the necessary age. We’ll pass all the
difficulties, being helped by our parents and by God.
– I would have wanted to graduate a school, a faculty, and to get married
then…
– You can do these being married…
– Yes, naturally…
– The life is short, Nick. Being a scribe, a scientist, a wise man, or a simple,
untrained man, you are going to die, anyway. You can’t take anything from your
achievements. The emptiness of your soul will be much smaller, if you are realized
personally and less professionally. Are there a few examples of the persons who
forget about themselves, dedicating to the career?! This isn’t the main problem. The
problem is that there are many of these persons who are realizing at a certain age,
that they aren’t realized enough in the professional sphere, not speaking about the
personal one. That’s why I’m asking you to be glad for having me. In the rest, let
God take care of all the others.
– Yes, but a faculty is quite important today.
– This is your opinion, but don’t you know that the biggest businessmen are
those one without any school or diploma? As someone said: “the universities are
the bowers of wasting the time”. You don’t need something like this. You are
becoming a notorious person, if you feel a charisma inside of you, totally different
from the others. Such persons are being remarked and promoted without any
studies. The talents are never missed. Be calm and think about me. Isn’t it
sufficiently…?
– You’re right, I said quietly.
– My father has a quite profitable business. You’ll work together and our life
will be arranged!

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 – I’ll think about this, Maria, but I would like to know my mother’s opinion
about marriage.
We arranged everything till the evening. She was dreaming herself into a bride
dress, holding and lactating a child in her arms, she was dreaming me, being a
faithful, loving husband. I don’t know what came to me, but those moments,
staying next to that princess, I was missing crazy the another Maria from
Murmansk. I was feeling myself as a real traitor, who doesn’t keep his promise. I
told Maria I’ll come back to her! Single thought was sounding in my mind: “I must
see her, even if I’m not getting married to her”. It was an unusual experience for me
and I couldn’t abandon it. I was curious to have an experience with a woman elder
than me. I was totally confused. I t would been difficult for me to give up at one of
them.

***

The summer was over. The first month of autumn was over, too. The second
one had began. The trees were snowing polychrome leaves over the earth’s pale
cheek. The sky was dull and the atmosphere was somber and cold. The people were
passing indifferently near me. I was alone. Absolutely alone. A racking loneliness
was crunching my soul. My eyes were watching emptily. I was as well empty inside
of me. I was left by the world. Nobody needed me. I was leaving far away, having
enormous regrets. I had hurt the persons who loved me most of all. Nobody loved
me more. I was sitting on the platform. There were a few people in the railway
station, waiting probably for the same train, but were very happy and enthuse, while
I was crying myself of pity. I left my pregnant lady-love and went to Murmansk.
Poor girl, she was not even thinking that I’m going to leave her. She stayed alone,
wearing a four-months child inside of her. I was leaving with the thought of coming
back to her sometime.
The train arrived. We entrained silently. I had the thirteen seat. Thou I was not
being superstitious anymore, I had thought for a moment: “what if I’ll have
misfortune?! What if the things are not going to evaluate the way I want to?!
So, after more then two months of weekly meetings with Maria, I left. I was
afraid of the responsibility. My parents were encouraging me to a family life,
without having a previous training and especially not having an acceptable age. I
had run being scared of those things. I couldn’t find a reason for remaining there
and either for leaving?! Thou I wasn’t convinced of proceeding rightly, I couldn’t
stay anymore. The Murmansk was a saving corner for me, a citadel that was
bringing me the quit. A corner from the northern hemisphere, where I could escape
the life’s routine, the problems I couldn’t be agree with.
Maria from Murmansk wasn’t even knowing about my arrival. I wanted to
surprise her. I pressed the ringing button impatiently. I had waited for two minutes,
without receiving any answer. I pressed once more and once more, until Maria
opened me. She welcomed me a little scared.
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 – Come to me, my darling, I want to embrace you! I promised you I’ll be back!
I’m here, in front of you1 Aren’t you glad?
– I wasn’t thinking of seeing you today! she said mumbling.
– Is something bothering you?
– No, no! Not at all.
– May I come in, or you want me to stay by the door?
– You know…, I’m not alone, forgive me, please. Don’t you think that…
Without waiting any explication, I rushed inside. Entering the bedroom, I saw
a man of forty years laid on the bed.
– Ah, I see what kind of woman you are! You like to have fun with the men.
You are insatiable of affairs?! Beach!
– Calm down, Nick. I’m sending him off immediately. Peter, leave us alone,
please.
– I don’t need you anymore, I told her in a precipitated voice. Enjoy your life
with all the men from the world. I have trusted you as a foul, I have trusted your
words…You are a beach who attracted me in the tramp…
– You’re wrong! she cried desperately.
– No, I understood the entire lie you had poured me! Who knows whom you
are pregnant with and you try to make me guilty? Did you think that I’m a child
whom you’ll manipulate the way you want to? You was wrong about me! As much
religious you was in the past, as much dirty you are being now! Be punished by the
God of skies and of earth, forever! Stay cursed, beach!
She wanted to justify herself, but she didn’t manage. I took my suitcase and
rushed to leave. I was destroyed spiritually. I couldn’t believe my eyes how could
she bring company clients there, after imploring me so much to stay with her,
because she loves me, because she was probably pregnant with me and farther.
I came back to my country, after my small lack. I was thinking about the six
days spent without any sense. Ah…
I went to Maria, for not ever leaving her alone. I had realized that I won’t ever
find a more faithful person as she is. I bought a bunch of flowers and went to her
home. I had knocked at the door and someone opened it. It was Maria’s father.
– Where had you been for a week, idiot?! Couldn’t you announce Maria about
your leaving?! The abbot told her that you left her for another woman. You’re
playing with the life, scamp?!
– Calm down, tell me where’s Maria?
– She is at the cemetery. We brought her there, yesterday.
Pronouncing these words, he began roaring and crying of pain. I couldn’t
realize if it was true or not. I thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t. Her mother came,
too, crying as well. There was a great tragedy in their house. Their pregnant
daughter died.
– She suicide! We can’t turn her back. Everything happened because of you.
Die, you, idiot! said the girl’s father despitefully, defacing his tears with the sleeve.
I was staying woodenly. I had lost the dearest thing.

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 – Don’t you ever know about love, garbage! her mother cursed me crying. You
poked our little child into the ground. Wasn’t it sufficient for you to steal her
honor?! Did you have to betray her?!
– Know that you won’t die because of a normal death. Our courses will come
to you once. Be sure…
I left the locality, being totally desperate, and came back to my cottage from
the wood. It was evening. All the family was already inside the house. I sat down
comfortably and tried to understand why I was so unlucky? Why did I lose all the
dearest things? Why was I born and why I’m living for…
While meditating about these things, Evil appeared in front of me.
– Boy, I made you understand the human nature finally. Do you think I wished
you harm sending you to Maria from Murmansk? Of course not! I sent you to see
that the man is exactly the way Father, God, created him. The man can not be
different, than infidel, dedicated to the body pleasures, to the lies, to the intrigues,
magic, quarrels and so farther. He can not be changed, because from the moment of
his conception, he inherits all the aspects of the human nature, all the favors of
freedom and of the misdeed. I had asked the God for giving me this planet and
create Himself another human variety on another planet, a cleaner, more spiritual,
obedient and religious one. You, people, are exactly the way I am, and I’m like you.
We complete each other reciprocally. I can offer you everything you want, while
God is fighting for taking all my gifts away. Think very well! We can conquer the
earth for governing it together, out of the Father’s involvement. It’s enough for him
to terrorize you with the eternal life and the redemption of sins! It’s enough to
oppress your mind with all these stupidities! If he wished so much a not sinful
civilization, he didn’t have to create the sin. The sinners will exist as long as the sin
is existing. The sin can not be devious. The sin is the God’s problem, not yours.
– Evil, let’s be friends, I said desperately.
– I accept, boy!...

THE END OF THE FIRST CHAPTER

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