JAMES BOND @ THE BLOOREXT. FRONT OF CINEMA - DAYA smiling young man steps into frame and takes a deep breath of fresh morning air. YOUNG MANIt’s another beautiful day at the Bloor Cinema to show classic movies at reasonableprices…A figure appears behind the young man. The figure pulls out a large shiny knife andslices the YOUNG MAN’S throat in one quick slice. The Young Man falls to theground. The Killer (Now known as Boxie) raises a walkie talkie to his lips.BOXIE The Box Office’s clear.EXT. ALLEYWAYAnother goon lifts the walkie talky to his lips. His name is Allie.ALLIEAlley’s clear.EXT. CINEMA ROOFA goon stands alone on the Rooftop with a walkie-talkie to his ear. He’s Roofie.ROOFIE(A wide smile slowly spreads across his face)Good…EXT. ALLEYWAYROOFIE(V.O)…our evil mission to destroy the JAMES BOND FILM RETR007SPECTIVE will succeed!A thick wire drops from above, wraps itself around Allie’s neck, and jerks himstraight up.EXT. FRONT OF CINEMA

We’re looking at the sidewalk. Boxie screams off-screen, the sound of metal tearingflesh is heard and then the freshly dead Boxie falls right into frame.EXT. ROOFTOPROOFIE(Into walkie talkie)Not even that meddlesome so-called super spy can stop us now! You know…AgentBang…Uh…Bloom…Bleen…Um…VOICE(Off-screen)It’s Bond…Roofie spins around. Before him, a handsome young man dressed in a surreallyclean vintage suit strikes a pose and cracks a dashing smile. JAMES BOND James Bond. James Bond lifts his watch, presses a button and a GIANT TONGUE OF FLAMESHOOTS OUT OF IT! Roofie screams in fear, takes a few steps back and tumblesright over the roof’s edge. He falls for a few seconds and then makes a squishyimpact on the marquee 20 feet below. Bond sticks his head over the edge to take alook at his handy work. JAMES BONDNice of you to DROP by.A large fist appears out of nowhere and knocks James Bond out in a heartbeat.DARKNESS.CUE TITLES (You know, the good old “Bond walks down the barrel of a gun”thingamabob)INT. WELL – LIT BASEMENT James Bond and a beautiful Girl are tied together to two wooden chairs that arelined up back to back. The concrete room is filled with a few goons and a slicklooking MAIN BAD GUY standing in the middle of it all. His name is Megaplex. Roofiestands off to the side and we can see in the dim light that his entire face has beenburnt off.MEGAPLEX Your time has come Mr. Bond!

The BAD GUY raises a device with a giant switch in the middle of it. It glints in theharsh light.BAD GUYBehold this seemingly innocuous device. Once activated, it will thrust everyoneforward to the fantastical year 2005. In that era, your campy heroics and goofygadgets will be gone forever! They will be replaced by a world that is much darker,grittier, and real. It’s a time when censors will allow

blood to flow

! JAMES BOND(With dry British wit)Sounds like I’ll be

Bourne

againBond winks into camera.BAD GUYHere’s a little taste of the

future.

The Bad Guy presses the button and there’s a brilliant WHITE FLASH. The room is plunged into only minimal light. In one quick cut James Bond’sappearance completely changes: Now he’s got bruises on his face, he’s sporting afive o’clock shadow, and his eyes are bloodshot.BANG! A bullet rips through Bond’s shoulder and he screams bloody murder.BAD GUY(In V.O)In the future, not only can you be hurt, but you don’t always have a clever pun atyour disposal. JAMES BOND Yeah, well, I’m rubber and you’re glue!VOICE-OVERIn the future… JAMES BONDWAIT…(Almost plaintively)Do I still sleep with tons of women?