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Self sabotage - the enemy within - how you've created your life the way it is!

Self sabotage - the enemy within - how you've created your life the way it is!

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Published by Cris Baker
What's behind what you do? Why you choose what you choose? Discover strategies to make life more enjoyable - the secrets to overcoming your self sabotage and improving your relationships and your results.
What's behind what you do? Why you choose what you choose? Discover strategies to make life more enjoyable - the secrets to overcoming your self sabotage and improving your relationships and your results.

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Published by: Cris Baker on Jun 13, 2012
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12/10/2012

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Contemplate how free you'll feel once you've ...
Overcome your self sabotage!
She was
very 
attractive
Susan is single and attractive, Wendy had told me, so I was looking forward tomeeting her. "The weather-man says the weekend will be lovely," I said when I called,"Do you have a bike? Shall we go for a ride on Saturday?"Wendy is my assistant at work, and she knew bothher sister and I were not involved with anyone.The bike ride was our first date, and Susan turnedout to be
very 
attractive indeed.The weather cooperated, it was sunny and not toohot. We rode along the shady path by the riverthrough the park, and then relaxed on the grass toenjoy the picnic I'd brought for us.It was a warm and lazy day, I was feeling amorousand made a gentle pass at her. The circumstancesseemed perfect, but romance needs both to sayyes. Susan had hardly met me and probably justwanted to get to know me first. She ducked.After a delicious lunch we continued the ride. Thenit was time to go our separate ways. She'd had agood time and I could see she wanted to see meagain. She put her bike on its stand out of the wayso we could enjoy a hug and perhaps a kiss.But I was disappointed that she had declined myadvance earlier, so I passed on her unstatedinvitation. I stayed holding my bike between us!We chatted pleasantly for several minutes, but I didn't arrange anything further. Ineither called her nor saw her ever again.If I'd kissed her when she was ready, who knows where we might have ended up? Iwanted a romantic relationship, she was available, yet my behavior ensured we bothlost out!
This was just self sabotage
Looking back at this experience with Susan, I really missed out. She was willing, Iwanted her, and yet I declined! Such thoughts from the self sabotage mechanism can
 
Copyright worldwide Cris Baker, all rights reserved2 / 5www.LifeStrategies.net
be a big problem. Believing my thoughts without question has let me to behave insome very weird ways!My mind used to tell me that revenge is sweet. If you do something I don't like, then Ishould do the same to you so you can also see how it feels. We do what wemistakenly believe will get us the results we want, yet we also have inaccurate beliefs.So the opposite manifests from time to time, as happened here.Now I know you wouldn’t follow my example, you understand it's foolish to repeatactions with undesirable consequences. But have you ever argued with your partner,when you really wanted to make love instead? Or vehemently disagreed with acolleague or friend bringing tension rather than cooperation?I don't know how many great opportunities I've missed by such counter-productivebehavior. How often have I believed and then taken action on such untrue thoughtsand beliefs?If any of this seems familiar, and you'd rather be free to run your own life, then you'rein the right place. This program on liberating yourself from self sabotage is exactlywhat you need.
The Self Sabotage Mechanism
Overcoming your self sabotage mechanism is one of the most interesting challenges of all. Increasingyour freedom to choose allows you to select actionswhich bring more appealing circumstances.Just imagine what you would have achieved if youhad overcome your self sabotage mechanism in thepast. This will give you a small taste of the benefits.Now imagine the stunning variety of choices in life'sunlimited possibilities. What a meal!Wisdom recommends you put more energy intobecoming more creative and free to do what works.To recreate your internal context so that you can bemore effective at producing what you really want,no matter what it is. Which means to overcome yourself sabotageYet everybody has a self sabotage mechanism. Itworks all the time, and its job is to bring youarduous circumstances, so when you get moredesirable ones you can appreciate them. To reallyknow something, you also need to know itsopposite.This indicates that self sabotage is not wrong, even though it results in undesirableoutcomes! As Arianna Huffington insightfully observed:
"We need to accept that ... failure is not the opposite of success,it's part of success." 
 
Copyright worldwide Cris Baker, all rights reserved3 / 5www.LifeStrategies.net
How to recognize self sabotage
Recognizing self sabotage is simple, yet simple doesn’t mean easy. You self sabotagewhen you know what to do, yet your thoughts rationalize why you're not free to do it.Or you don't think it through and end up with undesirable consequences.Lack of results suggests that, to use that well-worn phrase popularized by WernerErhard:
"There is something I do not know, the knowing of which could change everything. " 
So discover how self sabotage works. It's such a wide-spread yet complex problemthat it demanded simplification. So Life Strategies has broken down the differentperspectives about life and how it works into hundreds of small, more understandablechunks.These different perspectives are called koans.This approach simplifies the task of addressing your
context 
- where you come fromwhen you do what you do - rather than trying to change your
content 
, what you doitself. Koans help you apply what you know to achieve more desirable results, so youbecome wiser as well as more effective.Yes, I hear you say, this is all very well, but what does it mean in practical terms?
Yes . . . but what does it mean?
Let's use dieting as an example. It's widely reported that most people who start a dietweigh the same - or even more - a year later! But why is this so?They put their energy into losing weight, into notbeing fat, into how many extra pounds they canlose. Which puts energy into what they don't want:being fat, over-weight, their extra pounds...Rather put your focus on a healthy life-style. Beingfit. Looking slender and trim. Doing whatever youwant without physical strain. Living longer. Enjoyingexercise, etc. etc.An important natural law is that Energy Energizes -a great example of a koan. No matter what you putyour energy into, it increases. This process is justthe way nature works. When you understand this,you recognize that saying you don't want to beoverweight puts your energyinto being overweight!It’s far more productive to
put your energy intowhat you do want
. You already know that mostpeople recommend you focus on the positive ratherthan on the negative. This is why.

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