DINOS 2011 RATE THE MOVIES LIST

The following is my list for the best, worst, and not-a-chance-in-hell of 2011. I have a more comprehensive list which includes every single movie of 2011 and how I rated them from 1 to 10, but I figured I would spare everyone the agony of having to scroll down and down and down, and just sort of sum it up with the most interesting picks. If you WOULD like to see the big list, just email me.

TOP TEN WORST

There are a LOT of bad movies every year, but I manage to cleverly avoid most of them. This list is narrowed down to those that I have actually been foolish enough to sit through.

10. 30 MINUTES OR LESS I read the script and really liked it, so I was all the more disappointed when I saw the film. Its strange, because the cast sounds like a great combination of talented and hilarious actors Jesse Eisenberg, Aziz Ansari, Danny McBride plus the director of Zombieland but it just felt like they rushed through it as fast as possible and said fuck-it to the funny. 9. GREEN LANTERN Whos the asshole that thought a wisecracking Ryan Reynolds would make a good superhero? And who allowed this script to go into production without extensive rewrites? It just felt like it wasnt taken seriously enough. 8. FINAL DESTINATION 5 I really dig the first two Final Destinations, not because they have good scripts or acting (which they dont) but because the deaths were so cleverly executed. Thats why you went to see these films for the nail-biting deaths! Final Destination 5 had nothing new to add except (maybe) the girl on the balance beam. If youre going to do another one, bring the clever back! 7. IN TIME Clich-ridden dialogue. Boring as hell. Amanda Seyfried was just going through the motions (or maybe thats

actually her acting style?) Cillian Murphy was bland. Justin Timberlake wasthere. A terrible execution of an intriguing premise. 6. DRIVE ANGRY I drove home angry. 5. YOUR HIGHNESS Heres another script I read and liked before I saw the film. Its like David Gordon Green went out of his way to remove all the clever wit from the page and make the movie as dumb as possible. 4. THE DARKEST HOUR There is actually zero character development in this film. Its just a handful of prettier-than-you characters trying not to be killed by invisible alien orbs. If you want us to care about who lives and who dies, give us some interesting people to watch. Why did I see this again? 3. SHARK NIGHT 3D I so wanted this to be fun. Its not. I so wanted there to be lots of shark action. There isnt. An early sign that this film was made by people who didnt care about it is the fact that its called Shark Night but takes place entirely in the daytime. 2. FAST FIVE I couldnt even get through the first act of this movie. Its a shameful mess. Stop making these movies! 1. TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON Half of the movie is a bunch of CGI on the screen that I cant make out and cant tell whats going on, and the other half is Shia Labeoufs annoying face and voice. Right around the beginning of the huge final battle sequence, I fell asleep. I woke up literally 45 minutes laterand the battle was still going!!! I cant believe that Spielberg has publicly urged Michael Bay to do a fourth one. TOP TEN BEST
The list is ascending in order, with the film at the bottom being my favorite for the year.

10. BRIDESMAIDS I didnt expect to love this as much as I did. I mean, did you? No one did! Its wonderfully written, has a perfect ensemble cast, and deserves all the accolades its been getting. Yay Kristen Wiig! 9. MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE GHOST PROTOCOL This is the ultimate popcorn movie fun, exciting, dazzling, smart, dizzying, nail-biting. Brad Bird rocks. Do more live action please! 8. 50/50 Its not often I tear up during a film, but I did during this one. A great performance by Levitt. The script rang true. I am simply shocked it didnt receive a Best Picture nod. 7. TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY If you hunker down and pay attention to everything, you will be rewarded in spades by the end of the film. I look forward to seeing this again to catch any subtle nods or meaningful looks I missed the first time. Another shocker that this didnt make it into the Best Picture nominations. 6. THE MUPPETS This is exactly what I wanted from a Muppet movie looney fun, great songs (except that Chris Cooper rap), and lots and lots of muppets! I cant wait to see it again. 5. RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES A well-executed premise, worthy of its predecessor, with amazing special effects. Its rare that a summer popcorn movie can be smart. 4. MONEYBALL Even though I could give two shits about baseball, I was sucked right into the story and loved every minute of it. Pitt and Hill gave great performances, and it all rang true. 3. THE ARTIST Its hard to believe that anyone in the world could not like this film. To make a silent film in this day and age and make it accessible and easy to watch is a great achievement.

Sure, it might not really be deserving of the Best Picture statue, but the fact that it will most likely win is just fine with me. Its a movie that will endure. 2. MIDNIGHT IN PARIS I already love Woody Allen, but this was something just a little extra special. I dont want to ruin the surprise of the premise, but it was a pure delight when it started happening. Im so happy it got a Best Picture nod. Go Woody! 1. HUGO I walked out of this movie feeling truly happy about life and the world. Thats rare for anyone, I would think. This love letter to cinema (but thats not all it is!) is a remarkable achievement by a brilliant director. For me, it deserves the Best Picture win by leaps and bounds. TOP 7 DOCUMENTARIES
I usually only include 5, but this year had so many good documentaries that I had to add two more to the list.

7. EXPORTING RAYMOND If youve ever wondering what would happen if some Russians made their own version of Everybody Loves Raymond for their local TV stations, this documentary will satisfy your curiosity with laugh-out-loud humor and, believe it or not, some universal poignancy. 6. BEING ELMO: A PUPPETEERS JOURNEY The heartwarming story of the man behind the voice of Elmo. 5. ARMADILLO A group of Danish soldiers try to survive in a dangerous province of Afghanistan. This contains some of the most realistic war footage I have ever seen. 4. INTO THE ABYSS Werner Herzog knocks it out of the park once again with this mostly-talking-heads exploration of what its like to be on death row. Riveting and shocking.

3. PROJECT NIM After seeing this heart-wrenching doc, youll wonder why Rise of the Planet of the Apes hasnt already happened for real. 2. SENNA I know next to nothing about Formula One racing, but this in-depth documentary about the life and death of racing legend Ayrton Senna and his chief rival was engaging from beginning to end. 1. THE INTERRUPTERS A year in the life of a city grappling with urban violence, The Interrupters is a harshly realistic, inspiring, heart-breaking tale, hopeful and hopeless at the same time. It is guaranteed to make you emotional. FILMS I REFUSED TO SEE
This list gets bigger and bigger every year as my time becomes more and more valuable to me. Here are the movies I refused to see, broken down into categories.

FILMS I HEARD WERE TERRIBLE SO I DIDNT BOTHER ABDUCTION APOLLO 18 DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT IMMORTALS PRIEST SANCTUM SUCKER PUNCH THE CHANGE-UP THE DILEMMA THE SITTER THE THREE MUSKATEERS WATER FOR ELEPHANTS W./E.

UNNECESSARY REMAKES FOR SHAME! ARTHUR CONAN THE BARBARIAN FOOTLOOSE STRAW DOGS THE SMURFS SEQUELS WE DIDNT NEED IN THIS LIFE A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON CARS 2 JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN THE HANGOVER PART III THE LATEST TRASH FROM ADAM SANDLERS COMPANY BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR JACK AND JILL RUN-OF-THE-MILL ROMANTIC COMEDIES BLAND, NONDESCRIPT TITLES FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS JUST GO WITH IT NO STRINGS ATTACHED SOMETHING BORROWED WHATS YOUR NUMBER? TWILIGHT-INSPIRED TEEN-ANGST FANTASY FILMS THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 BEASTLY I AM NUMBER FOUR

RED RIDING HOOD FILMS INVOLVING PEOPLE HAVING TO DEAL WITH AND/OR TALK TO CUTE ANIMALS DOLPHIN TALE MR. POPPERS PENGUINS WE BOUGHT A ZOO ZOOKEEPER THE STAR OF THE MOVIE, A CHILD, ANNOYS ME IN THE TRAILER EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE JUSTIN BEIBER: NEVER SAY NEVER