Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Maybe I need you the same way a flower grows towards the sun, I feel like a cater pillar who has morphed into a butterfly since we became first acquainted. I'm be gun to feel feelings I had never felt before, a sceptic who looked for love and the aura of romanticism in prose and books because I had always had a heart with no pulse....I wanted to get out if the mess my mind had been causing my heart. I realise that I had been wallowing in foolish pride, and listening to alternate voices that hissed and barked at me relentlessly, and I crumbled because instea d of confronting it and getting a home run by hitting them with a baseball bat I missed , and as a result I almost lost the most important thing I had ever had; you. I had been so lost when I tried to sever our ties, drowning in a toxic mixture o f scotch and vodka. Like my identity had been at war the raw diane you had come i nto contact with, and the diane that had been ruled by the queen of hearts and so cietal expectations, I felt like a walking contradiction. I came to realise in t hat moment that I had never felt such a capacity if happiness with anyone else, but when I was without you I had never been filled with so much sadness. It felt like I was drowning in my own tears. Like my heart was in a basil pot and I hope d that if that put was filled with my own tears and blood maybe I'd be able to r evive it back to life again. I am lost at the minute nod do not take these words pessimistically , not an ide ntity crisis but I was sat in a contemplative and reflective mood. Defining ones elf I began writing a list and then stripping it back. In the past I believed in fancy and prior life experiences defined who I was , so I subtracted that from t he equation, my past makes me feel like I am a victim ( childhood) but I don't f eel that I am, nor do I believe that where I was born defines me either or my poli tical stances on life and humanity. I have nothing to say about myself anymore, b ecause the people who I seek validation from have gone due to difference in choi ces. So how do I define the turning of a new leaf? This is how Kareem : " my name is Diane, I have a heart beat and a pulse. I am made of tissue, muscle , skin and bone. I'm not on a daring mission of mercy or a martyr looking for mi racles, i have never been a reformed character and i still don't know who i am. I will not live in the past, and I will not try and control the future. You are a human being I have fallen in love with, for you radiate something I have never experienced before and now that yourin my life I cannot imagine my life without you. Your the sunshine on a shitty day. It's great to meet you. If the future sh ifts plans we make in the present I hope we don't slip away from each-others hea rts." Sitting in your presence I come to the realisation of how lovely you are, you... This wondrous creature that has been made from skin, muscle and bones. I can't describe the internal feeling that inhibits my body in your surroundings, when y ou place your hands amongst my olive skin. It feels like throwing a rock into a pond and watching ripples, it's like a butterfly that consistently flutters its wings, or like a bee that's looking for possum. You, The most beautiful creature i have ever set sights on.If you were a bird yo u would be perched on an obscure tree unseen. To me, you are simply the eighth w onder of the world a place I have patiently been awaiting a lifetime to see and