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Marriage - Most Common Form of Yoga

Marriage - Most Common Form of Yoga

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Published by Michael Erlewine
Marriage is the most common form of yoga practiced in the world today.
Marriage is the most common form of yoga practiced in the world today.

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Published by: Michael Erlewine on Jun 20, 2012
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08/31/2013

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MARRIAGE: THE MOST COMMON FORM OFYOGABy Michael Erlewine
Yoga means “union.” Yoga as physical exercise issomething I don’t do enough of, although I know it is
good for me. But marriage, the most common form ofyoga or union, is practiced all over the world. And ittoo is a discipline that is not always easy to doproperly. I have practiced the yoga of marriage, like itor not, for at least some 41 years now.I have also counseled couples for many years, so Iknow firsthand that marriage can be a most difficultdharma practice indeed. There is nothing like theunconditional nature of new love. When first we meetour life partner there are no conditions. Everything isfree and wide open, and being loved unconditionally
is just that… unconditional love.
 The conditions come later, as we get to know oneanother, as we move closer in. And getting in close is just part of love, and the only way to put it to the test.In fact we constantly move from being more open toclosing down and then opening again. In the esotericliterature this is called going in and out-of-the-body.And we do it all the time.Driving on a country road on a crisp spring morningwith nothing on our mind is an out-of-the-bodyexperience, one of unconditional freedom. Nothingcould be freer. When we come to a roadblock and adetour sign, that is a condition that brings us backdown a bit into the body. And condition can followcondition until we are in a traffic jam with too manyconditions and little freedom at all.
 
As mentioned, we constantly move in and out of ourbodies. Sometimes we want to evolve , get out ofwhatever confines us, and be free, while at othertimes we want to get more involved, and get more intowhatever seems appealing to us at the time. Weincarnate in each thing we do and we chose howinvolved we want to be. We try to anyway.Relationships, including our love life and marriage,are the same way. We not only build a body ofrelationships, we fluctuate in and out that body,sometimes feeling more free and at other timeswanting to get right down into it. This is how it works,but it also has its own problems.New relationships tend to have no conditions. It isunconditional love or unconditional friendship at firstglance. It is wonderful and a confidence builder to beloved and accepted as a lover or friendunconditionally. There is nothing like it. The conditionsseem to come later, and are laid on, one by one untilthey define the specific gravity of the relationship. Andconditions are not all bad.There are good and bad conditions. For example, wechoose to be conditioned when we kiss our lovedones. We chose to come in close and touch. And thatkiss takes a light touch. These are conditions weaccept. But we can also can get touchy whenconditions get too much, too heavy. Then we want toremove some conditions until we have a comfortablesense of freedom once again, until we are out of thebody and free enough. We move in and out of thebody. We lay on and take off conditions like we dosports clothing.Sometimes we move in real close, like when we makelove. How close is that? At other times we avoid touch
 
and touchy-feely conditions entirely. It is up to us, butwe are not all experts at this, so we frequently havetoo little or too many conditions, too little if we want tobe still closer, too many if we start to feel confined ortoo close. We are always searching for the rightconditions.So while you may not find time to practice sittingmeditation or even yoga asanas, if you are married
you can’t avoid yoga
practice. Marriage is about asserious and dedicated a mind practice as there is, so
if there is an interest, let’s talk about the yoga of 
marriage for a blog or so. Interested?MARRIAGE: THE MOST COMMON FORM OFYOGA
 –
Part 2Marriage is a vast topic, one that probably deserves aperpetual blog. Here I am just touching on it, andrather lightly at that. Every marriage, like the old gameof Pick-Up-Sticks, has conditions we have createdthat may be uncomfortable, but that can be removed ifwe work on it.Life lays some conditions on us that either cannot bechanged or are difficult to change, like the color of oureyes. Those are not the conditions being pointed outhere. I am talking about conditions that we lay onourselves or on our partner, ones that
we ‘can’
change. And laying down conditions is quite naturaland necessary. Life is conditioned.For example, conditions of closeness and touch arefine when we choose to be close, make love, andwhat-have-you. But being in-close with a loved onewhen we are angry is not so cool for either partner.We can be inflammable. In that case, we want toremove some of those close conditions and get a littlespace. Easier said than done.

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