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A Day at the Races

A Day at the Races

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Published by Shmaveman
It's Always Sunny in Philly spec
It's Always Sunny in Philly spec

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Published by: Shmaveman on Jun 22, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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03/30/2015

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COLD OPENTITLE: 11:30 A.M.TITLE: On a SaturdayTITLE: Philadelphia, PA INT. PADDY’S PUB - DAYCharlie and Mac are sitting at the bar flipping through aSharper Image catalog.CHARLIEI need these!MACWhat do you need 500x zoom binoculars for?CHARLIEWhat do you mean? I could see allthe way to Pittsburgh with thesethings.MACI don’t think that’s right.CHARLIEYou don’t know that for sure.MACHow much are they?CHARLIE$450.MACThat’s bullshit.He grabs the catalog and flips through the pages.MAC (CONT’D)We can’t afford one damn thing inthis entire catalog.CHARLIEWe’re poor dude.MACWhy do you even have this?
 
CHARLIEI stole it from the doctor’soffice.MACWhy were you at the doctor’soffice?CHARLIEThat’s where I get all my magazinesand catalogs.Dennis walks in.MACWe need money Dennis. We’ve hitrock bottom.CHARLIEWe’re tired of being poor.DENNISWell don’t look at me, I’m notgiving you shit.MACWhat about Frank?DENNISFrank already lives with you, Ithink that’s enough.CHARLIEHey! I’m a good roommate! Some ofthose bridge guys are definitely worse than me.DENNISThat’s your problem. Yourcompetition is a bunch of guyshanging out underneath a bridge.Frank barges in.FRANKI need money! Oh, shit. I need some money! Empty your wallets.DENNISYou too? You’re all pathetic.FRANKI got a little drunk with some ofthe guys and we went to the track.2.(MORE)
 
I made a few too many bets and I’m down five thousand.MACYou know shit about horse racing, why were you even there?FRANKDogs.MACDogs?FRANKDog racing. I would’ve lost more,but one of the dogs died and theyhad to stop the races.MACHey Charlie, why don’t we make someriot punch and hit the track? Wecan win some money for all thisshit we need.He pulls out some colored liquids.CHARLIEThat’s a great idea!DENNISYou guys are morons. You think youcan just go to the track and comeaway with money? You two knownothing about winning.MACWhat do you mean I know nothingabout winning? I was born a winnerand I’ll die a winner.DENNISYou’ve never won shit! I guaranteeyou I could go to the track and wintriple as much as you shit-brains.FRANKNo, I’m done with that shit. I needto find money. Where’s Deandra?DENNISShe’s out doing some fundraisingbullshit.3.FRANK (CONT'D)

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