head for her exam's – and right after having graduated and getting her degree; he senther in haste back to Nazareth, to her father's home. She wasn't active from that timeon up to this event, when she was called to take part in Samir's rescue operation. Sheherself was bound to continue her journey afterwards to her fiancée. To the one her ex boss had chosen for her, to redeem her from shame and disgrace... Her would-beredeemer was one of the senior active members who served her ex-boss sometime inthe past, and had still very close ties with him. He was about to leave for one of theEuropean countries; and was promoted as reward to his loyalty. Leila was part of thatdeal. But her marriage to him which was irrevocable, was meant to activate her as hisreliable aide in the first place; and as an available sexual tool; or rather as a humansexual tensions relief. In short she was supposed to keep him from mischief, makesure by her own presence at his side that he won't get caught in some honey trap; andthus get exposed to threats or blackmail, by the organization's foes. That is what she isexpected then to call life, future, fate – the possibility to become an influential figure,who would have a share in shaping her own people's destiny.Thus having released herself of her frustration she cried silently on, letting her tearsflow down her cheeks..
But what am I complaining about?
She asked herself with wonder in a secondthought, bracing herself, regaining her good reason.
Why should I indulge in self-pity? Didn't Samir bestow me with happiness, once in my dreary life! Wasn't that young man beside me, the only lover I ever had?
What a fool am I?
She reproached herself.
Why not live the moment, why not enjoy the chance, the opportunity fallen in my lap? In a couple of days we'll have to part, and who knows if we'll ever meet again.
In twodays time she'll be on her way to her spouse, who she hadn’t meet or know yet; thelittle she did know about him, didn't seem to encourage her at all. He was in his midforties, short and stubby, that is what she heard and knew. Samir on the other hand,was young, vigorous and so handsome!
It must have been the bits of information our contact man furnished us with, which terrified me so – god forbid! I was hysterical, I lost my senses almost! What has he done after all? Killed some old Jew that morning.What a fool am I!
She reproached herself again. She would have followed him to theend of the world, she would have shared the rest of her life with him – be his real wifeeven if he marries with three more females younger than herself, according to their Muslim tradition.
He is my true lover, the only man I'll ever love! I loathe Abu-adell,and that fiancée of mine, which Abu-adell had chosen for me! I hope though, I'll learnto tolerate him.
Deeply moved she turned to Samir, and pulled his head toward her breasts – stroking his hair lightly, taking pains not to wake him. Gradually she feltmuch better, but as an outcome of having reached such heights of excitement, physical and mental – she stayed wide-awake.It’s been six months already, since she was sent back to her father's home, and thoughshe never had any training in any field of clandestine activity; she did accumulate agreat deal of knowledge and some experience in Abu-adell's company. She couldremember quite well, having noted some uncommon activity near her father's house, particularly on the first days after her arrival. At first she believed it to be the outcomeof her father's efforts to find her a match, as he was very keen on it of course. A fewweeks later she had a rather stubborn suitor, although neither she nor her father took him too seriously. His stubbornness had evoked her suspicions; he might have been acollaborator, who was sent by the "Shabac". To snoop around, or who knows – hemight even marry her just in order to penetrate the organization. But it was nothingmore than an assumption; she did not report these incidents to anyone, as she did cuther ties with "them". She was hurt and quite distressed, for she took the act of being