JAMES BOND @ THE BLOOREXT. FRONT OF CINEMA - DAYA smiling young man steps into frame and takes a deep breath of fresh morning air. YOUNG MANIt’s another beautiful day at the Bloor Cinema…A figure appears behind the young man. The figure pulls out a large shiny knife andslices the YOUNG MAN’S throat in one quick slice. The Young Man falls to theground. The killer (Now known as Boxie) raises a walkie talkie to his lips.BOXIE The Box Office’s clear.EXT. ALLEYWAYAnother goon lifts the walkie talky to his lips. His name is Allie.ALLIEAlley’s clear.EXT. CINEMA ROOFA goon stands alone on the Rooftop with a walkie-talkie to his ear. He’s Roofie.ROOFIE(A wide smile slowly spreads across his face)Excellent…EXT. ALLEYWAYROOFIE(V.O)Now no one can stop us from destroying this Double-O-Seven Retrospective!A thick wire drops from above, wraps itself around Allie’s neck, and jerks himstraight up.EXT. FRONT OF CINEMA

We’re looking at the sidewalk. Boxie screams off-screen, the sound of metal tearingflesh is heard and then the freshly dead Boxie falls right into frame.EXT. ROOFTOPROOFIE(Into walkie talkie)Not even that meddlesome so-called super spy can stop us now! You know…AgentBang…Uh…Bloom…Bleen…Um…VOICE(Off-screen) The name’s Bond…Roofie spins around. Before him, a handsome young man dressed in a surreallyclean vintage suit strikes a pose and cracks a dashing smile. JAMES BOND James Bond. James Bond lifts his watch, presses a button and a GIANT TONGUE OF FLAMESHOOTS OUT OF IT! Roofie screams in fear, takes a few steps back and tumblesright over the roof’s edge. He falls for a few seconds and then makes a squishyimpact on the marquee 20 feet below. Bond sticks his head over the edge to take alook at his handy work. JAMES BONDNice of you to DROP by.Someone cold-coks James Bond with a gun and he falls to the ground unconscious.CUE TITLES (You know, the good old “Bond walks down the barrel of a gun”thingamabob)INT. WELL – LIT BASEMENT James Bond and a beautiful Girl are tied together to two wooden chairs that arelined up back to back. The concrete room is filled with a few goons and a slicklooking man stands in the middle of it all. His name is Megaplex. Roofie stands off tothe side and we can see in the dim light that his entire face has been burnt off.BOND GIRL(In a whisper) James…James…James

Bond slowly regains consciousness and takes a quick g glance at his surroundings. JAMES BOND(To Bond Gir) You should consider yourself lucky. I’m usually a hard man to tie down. But it lookslike… James looks in Scab-Face’s direction. JAMES BOND…I’m not the only who fell for you.Scab-Face sneers and takes a step forward, but Megaplex stops him with a wave of his hand. Megaplex raises up a bulky device for all to see.MEGAPLEXPeople are getting tired of your lame jokes and campy heroics Mr. Bond. Once Ipress this button your entire universe will be

rebooted.

The world will become adark and gritty place, filled with quick cuts and handheld camerawork.BONDI…. The Bad Guy presses the button and there’s a brilliant WHITE FLASH. The room is plunged into only minimal light. In one quick cut James Bond’sappearance completely changes: Now he’s got bruises on his face, he’s sporting afive o’clock shadow, and his eyes are bloodshot.BANG! A bullet rips through Bond’s shoulder and he screams bloody murder.MEGAPLEX(In V.O)In this universe, not only can you be hurt, but you don’t always have a clever pun atyour disposal. JAMES BOND Yeah, well, I’m rubber and you’re glue..and…uh…VOICE-OVERIn this universe… JAMES BONDWAIT…