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This article by Mary Craig originally appearedunder the title, "Take Up Your Cross," in The Way, January, 1973.It has been regendered, edited and adapted byJohn Veltri, S.J. and Rev. Jean Mitchell in 1996.At the time of its original publicationMary Craig was the mother of three boysand a free-lance journalist and broadcaster.She was writing regularly for BBC Radio of London.In the introduction to Elie Wiesel's sad story Night about ayoung Jewish boy's gradual loss of faith in the midst of theholocaust, Francois Mauriac wrote about his own powerlessness tohelp, "... I could only embrace him weeping." Mauriac could notshare that the stumbling block to the boy's faith -- the Jew on thecross -- was the cornerstone of his own.There have been many events in recent history to which the onlyimmediate response possible was tears followed by the anguishedquestion "Why?" The slaughter of the Jews, the annihilation ofHiroshima, the massacres in Africa, the plundering of Third Worldeconomies with starving families and children, the genocide inCambodia -- why must such horrible things happen? God standsaccused! If I were God, we think, I should never allow suchsuffering! On the face of things, we have two alternatives toexplain suffering -- either the universe is governed by a cruel,vengeful God who delights in torturing the innocent; or there isno God and we drift through time in total absurdity.But there is another possible explanation. Our images of God,generated from our own human projections, often prevent us fromunderstanding things as they really are. To make us human anddistinct from other levels of creation, our creator gave us theability to make choices. If we are to exercise this innate ability,it follows that we must be able to abuse it. If God were tointervene in our decisions, wrong actions would be impossible, ourability to make choices would be meaningless, and we would be nomore than robots. The price of our freedom is pain and suffering,a price that must be paid. Kierkegaard wrote that, if being humanwere only a variation of animal life on the one hand or ofangelic life on the other, humans would not be the prey of anguish.It is we who first turn our world awry, and then we reap theharvest -- either ourselves or our children or our children'schildren. Throughout the ages, human beings have destroyed theirharmony and at-one-ness with the world and introduced discordanceeverywhere. We humans, not God, have produced the instruments oftorture and destruction and have devised ever more effective meansof enslaving or terrorizing other human beings. It is our greed orstupidity or blindness that has caused the inequalities and theinjustices in our societies. And God, who foresaw all theinhumanities that we would perpetrate on others and on our world,stepped into our ranks through the Word made flesh to show us theway to love and become reconciled.
 
When we are confronted with suffering in our own personal lives,even our most profoundly held beliefs easily break down . Ournatural human impulse is to fly from trouble, and when we realizethere is no escape, we are tempted to despair. When the sufferingis our own, it shrouds our whole being, undermining the littlecourage we have. We become deaf to all but the din of our ownmisery. Every human being must travel this road at some time andexperience this temptation to despair.The Temptation To Despair Has Different FacesSome people drift from despair to self-pity ..."Why should this happen to me? ... Haven't I always tried to leada good life?" Self-pity may be a normal reaction, but the timefor it passes. If we allow it to take hold, it can destroy us assurely as a cancerous growth. Self-pity erodes our courage andour humanity. It is destructive not only of ourselves but of thosewho love us and who would support us. If we see ourselves as thevictims of a vicious fate, we become embittered and the love thatis in us will be soured into envy and hate.Some people refuse to face reality ...The refusal to face reality is almost as destructive as self-pity.If I shut my eyes hard enough and long enough, I can convincemyself that this dreadful thing has not really happened. It willgo away. I may even deaden my response with tranquillizers. Inrefusing to face reality, I abdicate my responsibility and say"no" to the possibility of growth.Some people bargain with God and demand a miracle ...Another response is to pray frantically that God will get us outof this mess. We even feel a barely suppressed sense of outragethat, since God has got us into it in the first place, God will getus out. So we expect a miracle and when the miracle fails to happen,we feel that God has failed to take care of us: "God, you let usdown. Get us away from this nasty reality. Hide us." It doesn'toccur to us that we are just using God as another form of denial.How can we sneer at these responses? Who knows how we will respondwhen the hour strikes? Surely God is our refuge, and it is ourright to ask for the agony to pass. Even Jesus did that! Did Jesusnot pray that his cup might pass? -- Yes, he did, but in redeeminghumility, he added, "Abba, if it be possible ... not my will butyours" (Lk 22:42). Our tragedy is not that we suffer, but that wewaste suffering. Self-pity, turned inward, warps us and drives outlove. In refusing to face our situation as it is, we run from the
 
truth -- and from ourselves. If we are in flight from ourselves,we have nothing whatever to give to others except our ownbarrenness. We can only gain from suffering if we use theopportunity to grow in compassion and understanding, to becomemore sensitive to the needs of others. "Help carry one another'sburdens; in that way you will fulfill the law of Christ" (Gal 6:2).Through suffering, God is offering us a share in the life that Godchose for God's Word who became human.It is easy for us to forget that the core of our faith is a humanbeing, dying in mess and muddle and pain, crying out in despair,"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mk 15:34). Thisrepresents our true human condition. Jesus was sharing with us thesense of having lost God. Yet his cry of despair did not diminishhis love. If one can reach the point of crying, "My God, my God," without ceasing to love, one can find contentment in the midstof one's abandonment. Even though we may not be called to imitateJesus' life in detail (1), he does give us a way and the means tofollow him in our own existential situation. At the centre of allthat God is offering us, the cross stands as a commentary -- thehistorical sign that Jesus fully shared our human situation.Faith in Christ Jesus is not an immunizing drug against pain; itmay not even seem to be comfort of any kind. But it is a key tounlock the meaning and the latent possibilities in what we mustendure. Suffering can be ennobling and creative, but it may benonsense if we do not see meaning or put meaning into it.What do we mean by suffering? It is something, on a trivial orcosmic scale, which is highly unpleasant to us, which hurts, whichupsets our plans, and which is against our will. That is the cruxof the matter. As we confront each new situation of suffering, weengage in a struggle. We fear being overcome. We are no longersure of ourselves. The bubble of our complacency is shattered. Webecome vulnerable and in our vulnerability we can find God.Although our happiness ultimately lies in God, we usually will notseek this unless we are compelled to face our radical insufficiency. C.S. Lewis wrote that pain is God's megaphone to arouse us fromour deafness. It is only when we are afraid or bewildered, awareof our own helplessness, that we turn to God. If we are to bere-made, re-born, turned around, we must be first broken intopieces:Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses yourunderstanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break so thatits heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. It is thebitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sickself. Therefore trust the physician ... the cup the physicianbrings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay,moistened by the Potter's own sacred tears.(Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet)That there is some therapeutic value in suffering is obvious. When
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