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The Nation
- http://thenationonlineng.net/web2The foundation every father should layhttp://thenationonlineng.net/web2/articles/9070/1/The-foundation-every-father-should-lay/Page1.htmlBy Olufemi FasanyaPublished on 4/07/2009Every parent reading this article should close their eyes briefly and look into the future;what do you see your children becoming?
Every parent reading this article should close their eyes briefly and look into the future; what do you seeyour children becoming? The pictures most parents will see are greatness in the life of their children; theywill see them achieving success in life. However, the picture you see is vague if you are not prepared tospend the time to raise them.Put this at the back of your mind as you read this article; Anini (the notorious armed robber that his deathsentence had been carried out years ago) had parents who have similar dreams that you now have for your children. They never would have thought that their beloved son will become popular at a time in his life,not because he had impact this nation positively, but due to his notorious lifestyle. Today, where are hissiblings, his parents (if they are still alive); they would likely have changed their names by now. Thisshould get us thinking as fathers.I want my children to impact their world; I do not want children who will make money and drive big carsand harass everyone but children that will leave a mark in their life time that will make the world a better  place to live in. However, every thing you see has a cost; if we as fathers are not prepared to pay the asking price, we will invariably loose out the most. I can remember a song that was sang years ago, I guess byChristy Essein that says
if a child behaves in an ill manner, it will be said that he was taught by hisfather…
later she sang mentioning that the mother will be said to have taught him the ill behavior.Interestingly, the man of the house will get the first blame; I feel the time has come for fathers to stopshifting the responsibility of raising their children only to their mothers. Children who are raised solely bytheir mum rarely grow up to be balanced ones; you can never undermine the role of a man in the lives of their children. Let me say it in a little bit of hard way;
we father should get it into our head that ourchildren need us more than whatever we can afford to get them.
The foundation of our children’s lives must be laid by the fathers; how a foundation is laid will determinethe structure that will be placed on it. You cannot put three storeys building on a foundation meant for  bungalows; it is just a matter of time, the building will eventually come tumbling down if the structuraldefect is permitted. Same goes to the upbringing of our children; lots of fathers wonder why their childrenhave become never to do well in the society, they put the blame on everyone but miss out the principalactor of their misfortune- them.One foundation that every father should lay for their children is that of relationship with each one of them personally; relationship is far more important that toys, clothes and money. I know in the world we aretoday, every father wants to be up and doing; I however, feel that in our busy schedule, we should createtime to relate with them. I believe that children easily get bored with their mum because they seem to bealways around and often time, talk at them rather than to them; daddy is usually the stranger, the guest inhis own home because he is either out or too busy. Your children need a strong relationship with you; their  physical and emotional well being goes a long way by how you relate with them.Demystifying who a father is is important especially to Africans. Fathers have over the years been seen asgods; unapproachable and commanding. I remember speaking in a conference for young people and I askedhow many of them have relationship with their fathers- they can confide in them. The hands that popped up
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