http://www.scribd.com/people/view/580249-amber This a feed for documents on Scribd written by amber7773 30 Sat, 19 Apr 2008 04:27:13 GMT Sat, 19 Apr 2008 04:27:13 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2572939/WOMEN-MEN-CONVERSATION-DECODER WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to h Sat, 19 Apr 2008 04:27:13 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2572939/WOMEN-MEN-CONVERSATION-DECODER http://www.scribd.com/doc/2563979/WOMEN-MENS-LANGUAGE-DECODER- WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to h Thu, 17 Apr 2008 22:51:15 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2563979/WOMEN-MENS-LANGUAGE-DECODER- http://www.scribd.com/doc/2563350/WOMENS-PERSONAL-ADS-DESCRIPTIONS WOMENS PERSONAL ADS DESCRIPTIONS 40-ish - 49 Adventurous - Slept with everyone Athletic - No tits Average looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathological liar Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure - On medication Feminist - Fat Free spirit - Junkie Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person Fun - Annoying New Age - Body hair in the wrong places Open-minded - Desperate *Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy drunk Professional - Bitch Voluptuous - Fat Large frame - Fat Wants Soul mate - Stalker * Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:30:22 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2563350/WOMENS-PERSONAL-ADS-DESCRIPTIONS http://www.scribd.com/doc/2563333/MORALSFunny MORALS I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound as they go flying by. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. I don't have an attitude problem. You just have a perception problem. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars and I wondered, where the heck is my ceiling? My reality check bounced. On the keyboard of life, Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:27:21 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2563333/MORALSFunny http://www.scribd.com/doc/2557709/funny-answering-machine-messages You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone" After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding. Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere. So... Leave your name and number and tell us where YOU saw Elvis! BEEP Hello, this is WVKE, you're on the air. Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:14:30 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2557709/funny-answering-machine-messages http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555773/PARENT-CODE-OF-CONDUCT PARENT CODE OF CONDUCT 1. I will set a good example for my child by applauding good plays on my child’s team as well as the opponent’s team. I will applaud good effort in victory and defeat. 2. I will make sure my child is having fun playing football, while at the same time recognizing that he/she is participating because they want to, not because I want them to. 3. I will support and show respect for my child, my child’s teammates, opponents, coaches, referees, and fellow spectators. 4. I will become familiar with the rules of football, and will give my full support to both the officials and Wed, 16 Apr 2008 19:04:51 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555773/PARENT-CODE-OF-CONDUCT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555699/Football-camp-certificate Spring Break 2008 __________________________ has earned this certificate through his hard work and determination at Oilton Panthers Youth Football Camp 2008. Keep up the good work! You are a star in the making! * Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:55:08 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555699/Football-camp-certificate http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555649/She-is-eighty She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, flowed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:46:18 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555649/She-is-eighty http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555618/Registration-Form-Oilton-Youth-Football-Association OYFA Football and Cheerleading Registration Form Name:___________________________________________________________Birthdate____/_____/___ Grade_______ (circle one) 3rd & 4th FB; 5th & 6th FB; 3rd &4th Cheer; 5th & 6th Cheer Address________________________________________________City________________Zip_________ _ Parent(s)/Guardian:_______________________________________________________________ Phone: ( Cell Phone: ( )___________________ Cell Phone: ( )____________________ )______________________ Email address(s):1.___________________________2._____________________________ MEDICAL INFORM Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:36:18 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555618/Registration-Form-Oilton-Youth-Football-Association http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555605/Oilton-Youth-Football-and-Cheer Oilton Youth Football and Cheer Player Protection Agreement I, _______________________________________________, Parent / Guardian of, _______________________________________________________ ____, agree and give permission to OYFA to allow my son / daughter to participate for the _____ season on the team of __________________________________ (Year) (Grade, Coach) Once this agreement is handed in to the OYFA Office, it will be considered complete and both the parent and head coach will be bound to the agreement for the duration of the season. All applications will be screened and confirmed by th Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:34:15 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555605/Oilton-Youth-Football-and-Cheer http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555591/OYFA-SCHOLARSHIP-PROGRAM-APPLICATION OYFA SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM APPLICATION Forms must be received no later than June 10th. E-mail questions to: Application for (child's name): Grade in Fall: Football or Cheerleading Date: Names of Household Members Gross Monthly Earnings Monthly Welfare, Child Support, Alimony, Unemployment, Workers Comp Monthly Payments from Pension, Retirement, Social Security Any Other Income (Including Military / Military Housing) Income Guidelines Household Size Yearly Monthly Weekly 1 $16,391 $1,366 $316 2 $22,089 $1,841 $425 3 $27,787 $2,316 $535 4 $33,485 $2,791 $644 5 $39,183 $3,266 $754 6 $44 Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:31:23 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555591/OYFA-SCHOLARSHIP-PROGRAM-APPLICATION http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555587/protection Oilton Youth Football and Cheer Player Protection Agreement I, _______________________________________________, Parent / Guardian of, ___________________________________________________________, agree and give permission to OYFA to allow my son / daughter to participate for the _____ season on the team of __________________________________ (Year) (Grade, Coach) Once this agreement is handed in to the OYFA Office, it will be considered complete and both the parent and head coach will be bound to the agreement for the duration of the season. All applications will be screened and confirmed by th Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:30:14 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555587/protection http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555581/youth-football-roster Oilton Youth Football Association 2008 Season Team: Phone Number: Name Last, First MI Cert. Head Coach: Address Phone Date of Birth Parent/Guardian Grade Fees Paid Physical Birth Coaches HC AC1 AC2 AC3 OYFA ** Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:28:46 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555581/youth-football-roster http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555573/PARENT-CODE-OF-CONDUCT PARENT CODE OF CONDUCT 1. I will set a good example for my child by applauding good plays on my child’s team as well as the opponent’s team. I will applaud good effort in victory and defeat. 2. I will make sure my child is having fun playing football, while at the same time recognizing that he/she is participating because they want to, not because I want them to. 3. I will support and show respect for my child, my child’s teammates, opponents, coaches, referees, and fellow spectators. 4. I will become familiar with the rules of football, and will give my full support to both the officials and Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:27:45 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555573/PARENT-CODE-OF-CONDUCT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555565/PLAYER-CODE-OF-CONDUCT PLAYER CODE OF CONDUCT 1. I will play for fun. 2. I will respect my coaches, teammates, parents, opponents, and referees. 3. I will be on time for practices and games, and come prepared to listen to the coaches and give my best effort. 4. I will not argue with a referee’s or coach’s decision. 5. I will display sportsmanlike conduct at all times, in victory as well as in defeat. 6. I will learn and play by the rules at all times. 7. I will encourage good sportsmanship from my teammates, coaches, referees, parents, and opponents at practice and games. 8. I will learn teamwork, support my teammat Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:26:28 GMT http://www.scribd.com/doc/2555565/PLAYER-CODE-OF-CONDUCT