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February 10, 2008
DNA: Our Core Personality -
Family 
Introduction
This morning we will continue to look at our core personality, the“DNA” of FBC. Every one of us in this room has a differentpersonality – quiet, chatty, extrovert, introvert, people-person, shy,trusting, suspicious.In the same way, different churches have different personalities.They value different things. Last week we began describing ourunique personality. First, we value cultural relevance. It is importantthat we communicate in such a way that our message is bothunderstood and received by those outside of a church culture. That isexactly what missionaries do in a foreign culture.We are in a “foreign” culture, even here in Hattiesburg. Scripturemakes it plain (see Philippians 3:20) that we live in a culture that isruled by the world. Therefore, we find ways to connect with ourculture so that the people within it might be exposed to the love andmessage of Christ.Now we move on the next part of our DNA – “
Family
”.Family can be a funny thing. Let me show you what I mean.Answer one of the following questions:What is the worst date you and your spouse ever went on?What is the worst vacation you and your family ever went on?What is the worst present your family ever gave you?Family can also be a wonderful thing! Answer one of thefollowing questions:What is the best date you and your spouse ever went on?What is the best vacation you and your family ever went on?What is the best present your spouse ever gave you?Today we are going to check out what the Bible has to say about“family”. There are at least three reasons for us to do that.We spend an ENORMOUS amount of time with family. Yougrow up in a family, probably live with family, visit family, talk withfamily, etc… Family is where you do life! Because so much of ourlives is taken up by family, it’s important that we do it right. So it isimperative that we seek direction from God’s Word (another of our
 
core values) in order to maximize the family experience.The family is under attack in America. Agree or disagree? Givesome examples of how the family is under attack. (Media/entertainment presents the traditional family asoutdated. Homosexual families, unmarried couples livingtogether, serial promiscuity, etc…are all presented as the norm.Biblical standards are ridiculed as “old-fashioned and out of touchwith reality”. I’m sure you can name others.) We must be remindedof God’s design for families, and commit ourselves to building strongfamilies.Family is a HUGE deal to God. In fact, God Himself exists as afamily! And we are a part of that family!•God is a
Father
.•Jesus is His
Son
.•The Church is the
 Bride
of Christ.•We are a part of the
 family
of God.•Paul reminds us that God is
 Abba
(Daddy).All of these descriptions remind us that God is all about family,because
that’s Who He is!
When He created mankind, He created afamily (Adam
and 
Eve). When Jesus came into the world, He enteredas part of a
 family
. God is very big on this concept of family. Afterall – it was His idea!So where do we start? This is a huge topic, and volumes havebeen published on it. We’re going to zero in on three areas:•Instructions to Spouses•Instructions to Parents•Instructions to Children
Instructions to Spouses
Let’s begin with husbands. Read Ephesians 5:25-29. Now, let’sunpack this passage.“Husbands, love your wives…”Would you agree that “love” is an overused word? (“I love mywife. I love hotdogs. I love football. I love Jesus. I love Twinkies.Etc…). When Paul instructs a husband to love his wife, what do youthink he means? Try to paraphrase this phrase without using theword “love” (Example: “Husbands, give your best to your wives…
 
Put your wife’s interests before your own… Etc…)“…just as Christ loved the Church…”Who is ‘the Church’? Us!How did ‘Christ love the Church’? “He gave Himself up for her.”What does that mean?Think in detail about His sacrifice. “He left His home in heavenfor us. He squeezedHimself into a man’s body for us. He lived away from His Fatherfor 33 years for us. He endured constant attacks for us. He enduredshame and humiliation and torture for us. He died for us.Husband, you’re commanded to love your wife like that! We arecommanded to give ourselves to our wives, up to and includingdying for our wives, if necessary. That’s a far cry from, “I’m tired of my wife. I think I’ll find me another one.”“Ladies, let me put you on the spot here. What, specifically, aresome things your husband can do to “give himself up for you”?What are some things he can do to “love you like Christ loved theChurch”?OK, let’s let the men off the hook and focus on the ladies. ReadEphesians 5:33.“…the wife must respect her husband.”It’s interesting that we often talk about unconditional love, lovethat is given without strings attached,
agape
love. However, weusually say that respect must be earned. If love should be freelygiven, then shouldn’t respect also be freely given? What do youthink?It is a truth of life that if you treat a person a certain way, she willtend to become that way. For instance, if I treat my wife with love,she will become more loveable. And if I treat my husband withrespect, do you know what will happen? He will become respectable!… Let me try to say that a little better… Ladies, if you treat yourhusband with respect, he will tend to become worthy of that respect.Husbands, is that not true?Here’s why that is true. Women universally have a need to beloved. Ladies, you want to be wanted, accepted, secure in the love of another. Men are different. Their deepest need is not for love, butfor respect. Now don’t get me wrong. We definitely want to beloved! But given the choice, most men will choose respect. We wantto know that we matter, that someone looks up to us. (ShauntiFeldhahn’s book For Women Only has some great info on this.)So men, here’s you’re chance. What can your wives do to makeyou feel more respected?Now let’s look at one more instruction for spouses. ReadEphesians 5:21.
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