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THEFAIRLY ODDPARENTS
PRESENT:
"FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY!"
(#274/86B)
WRITTEN BY:
BUTCH HARTMAN
AS BROADCAST SCRIPT 4.1.08

COPYRIGHT 2007, MTV NETWORKS, A DIVISION OF VIACOM INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. THIS SCRIPT/STORYBOARD IS THE PROPERTY OF MTV
NETWORKS AND MAY NOT BE COPIED OR DISTRIBUTED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF MTV NETWORKS. THIS COPY OF THE
SCRIPT REMAINS THE PROPERTY OF MTV NETWORKS. IT MAY NOT BE SOLD OR TRANSFERRED AND IT MUST BE RETURNED TO MTV NETWORKS
PROMPTLY UPON DEMAND. THE WRITING/STORYBOARDING CREDITS MAY NOT BE FINAL AND SHOULD NOT BE USED FOR PUBLICATION OR
ADVERTISING PURPOSES WITHOUT FIRST CHECKING WITH THE MTV NETWORKS' BUSINESS AND LEGAL AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT.

1

MOM
Here's your breakfast, Timmy! A nice,
steaming bowl of "I'm not sure".

TIMMY
Yuck! I sure wish I had some bacon and
eggs!

TIMMY (CONT'D)
I said: I SURE WISH I HAD SOME BACON
AND EGGS! (SPOON OF GRUEL IN
MOUTH) URLP!

MOM
And I wish you'd enjoy...whatever this is!

DAD
ho,ho, Timmy! It's Thursday! That means
it's time to shave my back!

TIMMY
Oh, yeah and...I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO
DO THIS!

DAD
So do I! But Mother Nature can be a cruel
mistress.

DAD (CONT'D)
And when you're done, you can help me
spread manure on the front lawn! And
this time I got the extra fresh kind! Hit it,
Bessie!

BESSIE
Moo!

TIMMY
Cosmo! Wanda! I needed wishes, and
you didn't show up! Again!

POOF
<CRYING!>
WANDA
Sorry, Sport! But the baby kept me up all
night again!
2

COSMO
Eeeeh! We're taking our first family
photo, and you smell like cow butt!

WANDA

We'll try to pay attention next time,
Timmy. Sorry. We're totally there for you.
You can count on us. Now hurry up, you'll
miss the bus.

FRANCIS
Hey, Turner. You smell like cow butt.
Therefore: I must pound you.

TIMMY
Oh yeah? Well, I WISH I HAD HUGE
MUSCLES TO POUND YOU! <EFFORT
NOISE>

TIMMY (CONT'D)
I mean: "I WISH I HAD FAIRIES WHO
WERE LISTENING WHO COULD SAVE ME!"

FRANCIS
And I'll bet you wish you weren't gonna
get hurt, too. But I'll tell you right now, it
ain't gonna happen...

COSMO
(sigh) Okay, how about this?
POOF
<MORE CRYING!>
WANDA
I don't think that's right for Poof.
COSMO
Poof Schmoof! This is MY outfit!
TIMMY
3
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