hine00975975

hine00975975 Scribbled:

Jes this looks great! It was very informative to me :). I really liked your charts they were very nicely done. A few suggestions - your executive summary begins on the same page as your TOC... Many of your headings seem like they should be spaced down a little to start a new page... this may just be the way it shows up on scribd. -I didnt see any page numbers.. this could also just be how it shows up on scribd. -In your intro 2nd sentence.. exercise equipment start WITH approx. Change WITH to at. -In methodologies first sentence... I conducted TO interviews..change to two. -You discussed websites and them having 95% satisfaction. You may want to cite which ones they are in your paper. -Your references didnt show up on the last page.. I am assuming you did it and it is just SCRIBD :)

19 p.

Feasibility Study 2

An Elliptical? An Exercise Bike? or A Treadmill? / Feasibility Report By: Jessica Fitzsimmons April 21

From: fitz0307

04 / 20 / 2009

hine00975975 published:

19 p.

Lindsey Hines Feasibility Report

Feasibility Report of Laptop Computer Purchase for Mark Stanaszek / _________________________ _________

From: hine00975975

04 / 20 / 2009

olsen3397909 scribbled:

I like your report. It really covers a useful subject that could be helpful to a lot of people, not just Mark Stanaszek. I also like how you explain to your decision maker how/where to buy the co...

04 / 20 / 2009

fitz0307 scribbled:

Hi Lindsey! The information in your report is very ineresting and well organized. Your pictures are great! I think the graphs at the beginning would go well in the findings section of your pap...

04 / 21 / 2009

cunni162 scribbled:

I agree with Christine, the placement of your charts and figures interferes with the flow of the report. I would redistribute them throughout. Your definition of "Intel Core 2 Duo Processor" read...

04 / 22 / 2009

hine00975975 Scribbled:

Hey Christine this looks excellent. Very professional.. I really like the graphs and your colors look very nice! It is very well written. a couple of suggestions: 1. In your transmittal I would omit "that in the third paragraph... Minnesota Daily the next time THAT there is a staff shortage.... it flows better without it. 2. Dome your headings for your graphs did not show up completely... this could just be on SCRIBD though. 3. in the Minnesota daily section there needs to be a space in Manager of... 4. He sent out information for citing in an email as you probably already know. Other than these really small things this looks SO good!!

19 p.

Olsen_Christine Feasibility Report

I still need to figure out how to cite everything. Do you guys know if we need a works cited page or something?

From: olsen3397909

04 / 20 / 2009

hine00975975 Scribbled:

Hey Allison this looks really great! It is incredibly neat a professional looking. I also like your table it looks very sharp with the bolding :) Just a few comments 1. In the Scope of this report the first sentence says..objective data, auch as technical specifications, pricing,AND games and... you can take the and out. 2. He sent out a email today for citing this will help with your Bricking term. 3. You may also want to add the term backwards compatible b/c you used this term quite a few times but I am unsure what it means. 4. Your page numbers are not showing this may just be on scribd though... Other than these few SMALL comments it looks great! Isnt it awesome to have it done! I only have a tiny bit to go :) good luck on your revisions!

13 p.

Feasibility

Allison Cunningham April 10, 2009 / Evaluation of 7th Generation Video Game Console Purchasing Option

From: cunni162

04 / 20 / 2009

hine00975975 Scribbled:

Hey Jes- looks really good. I would agree with below that you should add whys to your questions. I'm not sure if you would want to add an interview with your person who wants to purchase one of these machines after you are done interviewing. Maybe just a question like... The following are cons that I found quite often with the eliptical machine, are any of these a problem to the extent you would not want to purchase this machine? This might be helpful since we have to make a recommendation in the end. I dont know just a suggestion :)Other than that everything looks great it's very neat and organized with a lot of great questions.

2 p.

Jessica Fitzsimmons Interview Questions

Research Goal: I hope to receive wide variety of information about three particular pieces of cardio

From: fitz0307

03 / 27 / 2009

hine00975975 Scribbled:

Hey Christine, I just realized that I forgot to tell you that in the evaluation criteria for this assignment it talks about having backup questions for each question in case you need to ask for the same information more than once. So you will probably want to add these for full points on the assignment :)

2 p.

Olsen Christing Interview

Interview Goal: I am collecting data on advertising forums for the administrator of a long term care

From: olsen3397909

03 / 27 / 2009

hine00975975 Scribbled:

Hey Christine just a couple comments: -in your first paragraph you sayz' information concerning the distribution and advertising of YOUR publication. I would think about switching it to THE... -also in the book i read that you should end your questions with... Is there anything else you think I should know about your publication? Also, write something like: "If I find that I need to know a little more about something we've discussed, woudl it be okay if I called you".... this is on page 190 of our text. Other than that your questions are great. It is also very neat and easy to read. I like how you are doing an interview with the adminstrator after to see what her exact needs are so you can match them... I think I should do that :)

2 p.

Olsen Christing Interview

Interview Goal: I am collecting data on advertising forums for the administrator of a long term care

From: olsen3397909

03 / 26 / 2009

hine00975975 published:

2 p.

Lindsey Hines Interviewing Questions

Lindsey Hines Interviewing questions Research Goal: During the interview process I hope to find the

From: hine00975975

03 / 26 / 2009

olsen3397909 scribbled:

good job. your questions are very thorough. the only thing i would maybe reword is question 11 in which you ask if you need more information would it be okay if i called you? to make it more ope...

03 / 26 / 2009

cunni162 scribbled:

The only suggestion I can come up with is to add something to the question about special features like "will these features raise the price of the computer, and if so, by how much?" to make sure yo...

03 / 26 / 2009

fitz0307 scribbled:

Hi Lindsey! your questions are really good and very thorough. I agree the other comments have great suggestions and do not see anything else that needs further adjusting. I am highly interest...

03 / 27 / 2009

hine00975975 Scribbled:

Hey Jes just a few things.. 1.In your description you say "For example users with a really bad back would MORE likely... I would take out the more, since you use the word later in the sentence. 2. Does Melanie have back problems because this is one of your questions... if she does I would somehow add that into your problem statement. 3. I also agree with Christine about asking Melanie a few questions about her needs.. Other than that this looks great Jes!! It is very neat and everything is written very thoroughly. The pictures look great on the front page :)

8 p.

Feasibility Study 5

Jessica Fitzsimmons 1 / An Elliptical? An Exercise Bike? 0r A Treadmill? / Feasibility Study of Cardio

From: fitz0307

03 / 13 / 2009

hine00975975 Scribbled:

Hey Allison.. looked over your report here are a few of my comments 1. There are two blank pages between your cover page and Introduction... there is supposed to be a table of contents there :) 2. I would add in your introduction the name of the third game console ... maybe in with the prices... 3. In the problem statement "It requires hours... OWNERS MIGHT NOT EVEN CONSIDER INITIALLY".. I would change to "owners may not initially consider" 4. The first sentence in Items covered by this study is long... I would make it in to two sentences. 5. Instead of saying More weight will be placed on objective data.... I would say.. "There will be a greater weight(or maybe emphasis) placed on objective data.." I think you did great job with explaining exactly what you will be doing! It is also very organized. Great Job :)

7 p.

Planning Proposal - Allison Cunningham

Selection of a Video Game System: Proposal for a Feasibility Study Allison Cunningham / Introducti

From: cunni162

03 / 12 / 2009

hine00975975 Scribbled:

Hey Christine only a few small things: 1. In your description it says.." The Minnesota Daily appeals young college readers".. I think it should be "the minnesota Daily appeals TO young...". 2. You should look at my statement of organization... i think this is how it was supposed to be done :).. 3. In the research strategies section I would consider writing out Sr. Adrienne Baker... I think it is supposed to be Sister. 4. In your time line you forgot to capitalize Revise "Feasibility Report" That is all for critiques :) You did a really good job with organization and it looks very professional. You were also very thorough in this proposal!

5 p.

Olsen Christin Planning Proposal

question: what exactly is a statement of organization?

From: olsen3397909

03 / 12 / 2009

hine00975975 published:

6 p.

Lindsey Hines Planning Proposal

Feasibility of Laptop Computer Purchase for Mark Stanaszek: Planning Proposal / Created by: Lindsey Hi

From: hine00975975

03 / 11 / 2009

cunni162 scribbled:

In your introduction: "...what computer brand and model is the best fit for him at a specific location..." Maybe I'm not reading this correctly, but "at a specific location" doesn't make a lot of ...

03 / 12 / 2009

olsen3397909 scribbled:

hey. just a few things: *in your problem statement i feel the sentence that says "his academic achievement relies heavily on his laptop computer being reliable..." would be less clunky if you sa...

03 / 12 / 2009

fitz0307 scribbled:

Hi Lindsey! -just a few comments -I would agree with Allison and Christine that the phrase "specific location" in you probem statement is a bit unclear. -maybe another question you could conside...

03 / 13 / 2009