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THE NIMERIGAR
By Jonathan L. Keene
 June 22, 2009Nightmares now haunt even my waking hours. The images of the past arefar to present in my mind. I must do something to satiate my guilt. So I will write
 
down the horrors of this infected consciousness in a hope to purge the putrescentmemories. Maybe then there will be peace.I haven't properly grieved for him and it has been over ten years. The guiltis welling up within my soul. It is a wonder madness has not overcome this weekspirit. It must be said…all of it. We promised never to tell, never to reveal thetruth about his death. We knew that if we did we would be labeled as liars, maybeeven murderers, at the very least kooks. I must go back. I must dredge themuddy waters of my mind. I must exhume the corpse of rotting memories thatarises to haunt me relentlessly. I must put it to sleep properly, with care andreverence.* * *It was the summer before my sophomore year of college. It was a sultryAugust full of pleasant evenings and scorching days. Bruce, Kirkemo, and I hadarrived in Nampa early in order to get jobs before the '94 Fall term started.Northwest Nazarene College was and is not cheap. It was a necessity for me towork in order to reduce the tuition costs. I had worked delivering pizza the yearbefore and vowed to get out of the fast food industry for the rest of my life. Wewere all successful in getting jobs our first week back due to the fact that we hadarrived a month earlier than most of the other college students. I got an insidesales position at a local paint store. It wasn't the most glamorous job to be sure,but at least it was greasy.Since the dorms were not open to students yet we were staying with twoother friends, Mallis and Steiner. They lived in the area and the plan was to stayat their parent's houses for a month and work. That plan never came to fruitionhowever. Since we had gotten jobs sooner than expected we decided to celebratea little and take it easy for the rest of the week. None of our employers wanted usto start before Monday, so we had a full weekend to kill.What better way to kill a weekend as poor college students than by going ona cheap hiking trip? Mallis worked at a local sporting goods store and had anemployee discount on everything a budding hiker could want. We already hadalmost everything we needed, but we did buy some energy bars, dehydratedmeals, and a good water filter.We decided to go to Jennie Lake. It's a five-mile hike into the lake but theelevation only increases about 1200 feet and it is all a very gradual incline. It's ahike that a trough hiker would laugh at, but as I said we were out to take it easynot to set distance records.Steiner, Mallis, Kirkemo, Bruce and myself would hike in on Friday August19th, rest and relax all day Saturday the 20th, and hike out on Sunday the 21stintime to be ready for work on Monday. It was going to be a full moon on Sundaynight, which would provide lots of light all weekend. I preferred to be in theoutdoors with a full moon. It illuminates the trepidation of a foreign environment.It was a grand plan, a weekend itinerary many other people have made over thepast century with the advent of convenient and speedy travel, go on Friday, comeback on Sunday. It should have been just that simple, but it wasn't. In fact if Icould erase that weekend from History I would. If I could bring him back I would.But I can't and the heinous recollection of that sole hiking trip has driven me tothe brink of madness.* * *
 
We met for the trip at Millis' place. We had our packs stocked with clothes,flashlights, fire starter and gas stoves, we had enough food for a couple of days,and any thing else we though we needed we crammed in. Our packs were way toheavy, but we weren't about to tell each other that. We loaded all our stuff intoKirkemo's Blazer and Mallis' big old primer gray pickup truck. I rode with Mallis,Bruce and Steiner rode with Kirkemo. We left early for college students at about8am. Our hope was to get to the trail before the hottest part of the day. It tookus about two and a half hours to drive past Boise up the road through Idaho Cityto the dirt road that would take us to the trail head. I do not remember how longit took us to reach the trail head once we hit the dirt because I was toopreoccupied with nervously holding onto the seat. Kirkemo and Mallis took it uponthemselves to see how fast they could drive on dry, dusty, and wash-boardedroads. It was a journey that could only be described as being reminiscent of Mister Toads Wild Ride in Disneyland. After nearly careening off into the trees afew times and narrowly missing some vehicles coming the other direction andwhile driving like maniacs cutting corners short we thankfully arrived at theparking area for Jennie Lake. It was not much of a parking area, more of a turnout really at a wide bend in the road.A gentle breeze was blowing as we stepped out of the vehicles andunpacked our gear. It was a beautiful day. The sky was blue and clear. As theheat of the day approached the pungent earth sighed it's loamy breath. Thescents of wild flowers and pine mingled validating the area with mountainousauthority. Being enveloped with high country summer air is intoxication. It is oneof the strongest factors that had caused us to fall in love with the outdoors theyear before, although no one ever articulated our passion in such a way. Westood our backpacks up on the tailgate of Mallis's old primer gray Dodge truck andslipped them onto our shoulders. Snapping our chest and belt clips we testedeach other's loads for security and balance. We made sure our water was easilyaccessible as well as our weapon. That's right I said weapon. When traveling inthe backcountry you can never be too safe. Mallis had brought along his .22caliber revolver. You never know when you may need to scare off a mountain lion,bear, wolf or the occasional survivalist nut job. It would have been useless to tryto kill a lion or bear with it but the sound is usually enough to frighten them off,where as a bullet wound would just piss them off. Steiner and I had our 35mmcameras slung around our necks for easy access just in case we came across aphoto op. We were geared up and ready to start our trek up the meandering trailto our destination. We made sure to lock the vehicles and we were off. The trail followed a valley that gradually inclined until it reached JennieLake. It meandered back and forth, not in switchback fashion, but lazily as if thedesigners of the trail could have gone straight, but decided to make the journeymore a dance than a race.Of the five of us, Steiner was the fittest. He was of medium height and buildwith brown hair and eyes. His face was always ready to smile warmth that wasdisarmingly seductive with friendship and acceptance. I think his passion andattitude drove him more than physical strength. He is the type of guy that runshot or cold and is enthusiastic with both. He is mostly good tempered but I cansee him having a dangerous disposition in the right situations. He has a lust forlife that pushed the bounds of what most people would think to be normal. It was
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