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10 Secrets of the Female Mind
 
1) We want to be emotionally swept away, not *just* impressed
Have you ever gone out with a woman and told her all sorts of impressive things about yourself only to find out she just wants to be friends? I’m willing to bet this caused you to either swear her off or ruminate on what the heck is wrong with you. Well, to be honest as modern men, especiallyAmericans, we are led to believe that women have a checklist and we need to meet their criteria.Truth is that
a woman wants more than anything else to feel emotion
. The male mind processeslanguage more in terms of facts and outcomes where the female mind responds much more toemotion and empathy. The key to winning her over is to create a way for her to feel something. Agreat way to do this is to draw her into your world by sharing stories in a way that she canassociate into; she can experience the story as you tell it. The neurons in her brain will actuallygenerate the same response as if she was right there with you. But at all cost stay away from thefacts….they may impress her to the point where she wants you in her life as a friend. You mayeven want to withhold some of the facts and let her uncover them. She’ll enjoy the process.
2) We rely on you to make us feel comfortable
Women really dislike awkwardness
and they will avoid it at all cost. A woman evaluates howcomfortable she is with you from the first moments together….and she uses her comfort level asan indicator of how comfortable you are with yourself. Only when she is comfortable will she bewilling to open up emotionally, mentally, and physically. A great way to lend comfort is to avoidsuch things as dinner dates or anything extravagant in the beginning. Just go somewhere, well,comfortable. A coffee shop, the beach, or an activity you can do together. And back to pointnumber one, don’t try to impress her or you will make her uncomfortable. Certain topics canmake women uncomfortable: Don’t discuss sex too quickly, DO NOT talk about getting serious,marriage, kids, or anything else quickly. Any sort of trying too hard and social awkwardness alsomakes them uncomfortable. The easiest way to make the conversation comfortable is simply to bethere fully and allow things to flow naturally.
3) Don’t argue, it’s pointless. Often we don’t even know why we’re feeling emotional
Ever try to argue with a woman only to find yourself becoming increasingly frustrated becauseshe just wasn’t getting your logical arguments? When a woman is upset, she is not thinkinglogically and therefore what she is saying may not make sense and probably won’t even beanything close to what’s really bothering her. For example, if she snaps at you because you leftyour socks on the floor again, it’s very likely it has nothing to do with that at all. When a womanis upset, she wants one thing – reassurance. She relies on you for that reassurance. So, give her ahug that says “I’m here for you and you’re not alone” and make her feel safe. Then when she begins to calm down, then you can discuss the point at hand. And while you’re doing that, it’susually a good idea to ask her about her day or anything else that’s going on with her so that youcan get to the root of what’s bugging her.
4) We are just as, if not more, sexual as you are. For us though, it’s compartmentalized
Yes guys, the good news: Women love sex. But there is one key difference between women andmen when it comes to that and it’s not what you’re thinking. Women are a bit more sexually andemotionally complex than we are and as such, their sexuality is experienced differently. It doesn’ttake as much to stimulate men….we can easily become stimulated by the hot blonde walkingdown the street or just the thought of an attractive woman. Women, on the other hand,
 
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compartmentalize their sexual thinking. She keeps it in one particular place in her mind which islocked away until the right time or the right key comes along. This means she can do her laundry,work her job, or walk her dog without thinking about sex. As women are the choosers, this isexactly as it should be. But, this mechanism can very much work in your favor. If you bear thekey that unlocks that place, the floodgates will open and you will be the one with whom sheshares her most intimate thoughts, feelings, and desires. One of the best ways to bear that key isto allow her the space and time she needs to first imagine being intimate with you. If a womanhas sex with you first in her mind, all you have to do is not screw up. When you let her unlock that place herself, it’s very powerful. And, this is very important - you need to be comfortablewith HER sexuality. You need to be the man who makes it not only okay but comfortable andexciting for her to open her fantasies. Women want to be sexual, very sexual....but there is asocietal condition that prevents them from being open about it. So, when you become the onewho makes it feel really good to open........There is so much more I can say about this but I amrunning out of space.
5) We EXPECT you to respect us and YOU BETTER respect yourself first
This is especially true if and as you become the man she allows into that place of intimacy andsexuality. Respect is what will allow her to be comfortable enough and develop enough trust toopen up to you. Respect in this sense means a few key things: It means that you allow her to beher without trying to control her and that will show her that first and foremost you respectyourself. It also means that you respect what’s important to her even if that is taking a 3 hour shower or an equal amount of time to pick shoes. It means having integrity and doing what yousay you will do when you say you will do it. She wants to rely on you and she can only do that if she knows you will respect her. The dictionary defines respect as “Holding in high or specialesteem.” She needs to know that you care about her and will be there for her. On the other hand, italso means that you respect yourself and are comfortable with both her boundaries and your own boundaries. It means retaining your integrity and self respect always and not supplicating to her.Holding her in esteem can only come from a place of power and strength when you hold yourself in esteem first. Respect is a two way street and first you must respect yourself as a man beforeyou can respect her.
6) We are not that complicated; we long to love and be loved.
Women are emotionally in the moment. This means that it really doesn’t matter what she wasfeeling before, what she feels now dominates her consciousness and she will often remember the“screw ups” more clearly than the positives. This and women’s tendency to communicateemotionally and inwardly often leave men shaking their heads in an attempt to understand whatwomen are really saying and more importantly what they really want. Where men are validated by freedom, wisdom, and mission, women are validated by love and compassion. Have you ever  been in a situation where you felt irritated by what seemed like an endless need for affection fromyour woman? The need to love and feel loved is one of the highest characteristics of the feminine.Her desire for affection is her expression of her femininity. Conversely, your desire to find andlive out your mission and grow in wisdom is what nourishes and supports your masculinity. So,the next time she needs affection and reassurance, find a way to provide that to her knowing thatnothing will allow her to feel more feminine. Better yet, give it to her freely without waiting untilshe is calling for it. Open your heart and share a deep emotional connection with her, one that shecan feel to her core and lean on whenever she wants or needs to.
7) We want to be high on your priority list; but not higher than your mission
 
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A woman will often test you by making requests of you. Of course, sometimes she needssomething and wants your assistance but other times she is testing you to see where on your  priority list she falls. She wants to be higher than most of your activities, but second to your mission and direction. This means that she will lose some of her attraction to you if you areconstantly losing yourself and your backbone in an attempt to please her. On the other hand, shewill be extremely attracted to you if you are in touch with your purpose and moving towardsgoals. Her attraction will increase if you are both a leader of your own life and a leader of other men. She wants to support you on your journey. So don’t be afraid to take care of you as you takecare of her even if this means giving her your undivided attention for a period of time beforereturning completely to your work or task at hand. If you don’t take care of your needs, how willyou ever be fully available to care for hers?
8) We don’t want you to appear flawless, smooth, or too perfect.
While women definitely do appreciate a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to takethe lead, he also must be down to earth and human. She doesn’t want the perfect approach andcourtship nor does she want you to be a guy who sleeps with every opportunity you have. Shewill however be attracted by your desirability to other women and your choice to be with her.This means that she wants a guy who other women want, not one who sleeps with every womanwho comes along. Further, she wants you to understand and relate to her world and accept her imperfections - someone with whom she can see herself in a relationship. Remember, womenlove and need to be loved and as such they evaluate relationship potential very early in your courtship. To her, a player or a smooth operator does not represent someone who can provide andcare for her physically, emotionally, or spiritually. So, come down to earth and reveal more of yourself. Let her see your vulnerabilities so she can be comfortable with hers. And be someoneshe can connect to and desire more of, someone who shares many commonalities with her thatyou can enjoy together, and someone who can laugh and be silly with her often and easily.
9) We want to flirt and enjoy the tension
As men, we like to know right now where we stand. We prefer black and white objectivity andwould rather not have to deal with the shades of gray that may present in the very early stages of a courtship. What makes you feel more powerful and secure than knowing that she wants you andhaving a clear cut plan to move things forward? Women, on the other hand, enjoy the tension thatis created in that gray area. They relish in the mystery of a new connection and the unknown of what will happen next. She loves to play with you in her mind when you are not there. Mostwomen have very active fantasy laden imaginations and will role play all sorts of scenarios anddetails in their minds before those scenarios and details become reality. She enjoys the challengeof not knowing where she stands as long as she gets signals from you that tell her you areinterested and attracted to her on some level. She thoroughly enjoys the pleasures that her mindcan bring her. So, guys don’t be in a hurry. Give her the time and space she needs to fully enjoyher anticipation. Flirt with her by giving a little bit and then taking a little away in the way youtouch her, the way you communicate with her, and in your actions. Playfully tease her. Useinuendo, subtle implication, emotional language, and enticing glances to engage her imagination.Allow her to feel safe and honored through her bond with you. And finally, at the appropriatetime, embrace her.
10) We want be able to fully embrace the power and seductiveness of our femininity.
Since the feminist movement beginning in the 1970s, women have been feeling societal pressureto take on more masculine qualities. They grow up expected to take leadership roles, be self 
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