Comment on Are you annoying as hell? Try suicide.
Posted on December 26, 2007

Seriously. LOTS of Prozac. I haven't been able to cry for three weeks cuz of that stuff. It's the tops.

Comment on Are you annoying as hell? Try suicide.
Posted on December 26, 2007

And now comes the confession I was afraid to make: I don't have the guts to kill anyone either. :O That must be so disillusioning for you. I'm sorry, m'friend. Consider Prozac and therapy as an option. (Especially that Prozac. Hit that shit hard, girl, and you'll do alright.)

Comment on Tears of Mother Earth
Posted on December 15, 2007

Pass the joint.

Comment on Are you annoying as hell? Try suicide.
Posted on December 2, 2007

Clearly I'm not the only crazy person on the Internet. Thanks for the positive comments. Even depressing comments are half full of silver linings. Or something like that.

Comment on Are you annoying as hell? Try suicide.
Posted on November 30, 2007

Thanks. I admit I don't live there, but my father's side is native to Ireland, so I have some family there.

Comment on Are you annoying as hell? Try suicide.
Posted on November 29, 2007

I did waste my time... you're right. Next I'll be reading "pieces of shit" written by "fucking losers" who are "cocky and arrogant." I'll leave them poorly-written comments, in which I'll openly admit that although they wasted their time writing some article, I wasted MORE time by actually READING said article and letting him know my opinion on it. I hope my life never comes to that.

Comment on Are you annoying as hell? Try suicide.
Posted on November 28, 2007

It both breaks my heart and makes me laugh to see someone spell ignorant with a u. Oh, the urony!

Comment on Are you annoying as hell? Try suicide.
Posted on November 22, 2007

everyone isn't as great as you think you are I think I'm pretty great... so not everyone is that great? Thanks for the news flash. This article's not aimed at the clinically depressed. It's aimed at preteen skanks who moan and weep and listen to terrible music. I trust the clinically depressed to know the difference.

Comment on Top 5 myths about america
Posted on November 20, 2007

And Bill Clinton was the KING of faking statistics, by the way. His greatest strategy was to appear before a camera, pull some numbers out of his ass. And once the audience was lulled in (like sheep, bitch), then he'd lay it on heavy and go in for a kill. So here's a Clinton-style statistic: 99.5% of the people who actually read this article and supported its message have an intelligence quotient below 13, and are what some experts may call "mentally retarded"

Comment on Top 5 myths about america
Posted on November 20, 2007

Are you sure you're not Bill Maher's retarded brother? Can I make a few guesses as to what the next few myths will be? Myth #6: Republicans are awesome and invented great things like Disneyland and chocolate. Fact: Actually, Republicans did not invent these things. Historical evidence shows that the Democratic party came up with the concept of Disneyland AND chocolate, and that Willy Wonka himself was incredibly liberal. Myth #7: Republicans are smart. Fact: Actually, studies that I conducted here while picking my ass and listening to NPR have shown that Republicans are totally stupid, and I have absolutely nothing to back this up with. Nonetheless, being liberal is once again fashionable in this country, and I'm coming along for the ride! Myth #8: Democrats support killing babies. Fact: Actually, Democrats only support ending the lives of young human beings who have not yet reached physical maturity. Which is not the same as killing in any respect. Myth #9: Hillary Clinton had Vince Foster murdered. Fact: It has been conclusively proven through a suicide note written in two hands, Vince's empty office safe, the gun that was found at the crime scene and the one ...

Comment on Are you annoying as hell? Try suicide.
Posted on November 19, 2007

If this guy (or, more likely, 13-year-old girl) was really contemplating the end, it seems to me that this article would be the thing that pushes him/her over the edge. In which case I've done my job. I've removed another loudmouth asshole from the world. Looks like you won't be bothering the rest of society with your tragedies anymore, will ya buddy? I wouldn't want anyone to go to hell, not even you, unless of course that hell involves hundreds of emo kids yammering your ears off about how terrible their lives are. Or worse, listening to "Lithium" on a loop. Evanescence does suck. Don't try to deny that. It's like trying to deny that Zac Efron is gay or that the North Pole is the most northern point in the world. Remember, while you're so deeply "contemplating the end," you may reach an impasse; a place where your nerve fails. At such a point, you can comment again and leave contact information with which I can reach you. Then, as stated in the article, I can help work up your courage, or, if you want, take you out myself, saving you the trouble of suicide, and saving us the trouble of listening to you, you whiny little bitch. Enjoy the afterlife :)