The Atlantic

Dear Therapist: Should I Contact My Birth Mom?

I feel an urge to get in touch, but I’m worried my adoptive parents will be hurt.
Source: The Atlantic

Editor’s Note: Every Wednesday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at

Dear Therapist,

I was adopted at birth by two amazing parents who also adopted my younger sister. Whenever people have asked, “Are you interested in meeting your birth family?,” I’ve been consistent with my response: My adoptive family is my only family, and I have no interest in searching out my natural family.

I’m now a 34-year-old man with a young daughter and aging parents. Recently, I stumbled across a box of records in my parents’ attic that included the name of my birth mother. This was a particular shock since my parents have always maintained that I was adopted in a blind adoption. The records also revealed the name of the hospital where I was born, the city where my

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