The Atlantic

Dear Therapist: My Partner Wants Me to Cut Ties With My Friends

I appreciate them. He doesn't accept them. How can I make everyone happy?
Source: The Atlantic

Editor’s Note: Every Wednesday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at

Dear Therapist,

My partner has a strong tendency to see everyone else’s behavior in black or white. People are either saintly and wonderful or diabolical and dangerous, and the switch between the two can be lightning fast. I understand this is coming from his past—he comes from an emotionally abusive home. After much gentle nudging, he’s now been in therapy for over a year and I can see the results slowly emerging.

Meanwhile, I try my best not to react to his judgments, though they cause havoc with our friendships. He insists that when he writes someone off for an infraction that he sees

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