The New York Times

How to Revive a Friendship

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

IT CAN BE DISORIENTING TO FEEL YOU’RE BACK AT SQUARE ONE WITH A PERSON YOU ALREADY HAVE A SHARED HISTORY WITH. HERE’S SOME HELP.

Former friends occupy a peculiar space in one’s social circle. Ex-bosom buddies might know some of the most intimate details of your life — the name of your first pet, which dress you wore to prom, who broke your heart freshman year of college — but may have no clue about the hopes, dreams and fears you hold today.

So when those friendships fade, particularly the ones built over years or decades, a rare bond is lost. Indeed, moving from acquaintance to casual friend typically takes around 50 hours of shared activities and everyday talk, and it can take in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

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