The Atlantic

Dear Therapist: Is It Wrong to Divorce My Sick Wife?

Before her health took a turn for the worse, we had both agreed that we should end our 14-year marriage.
Source: Bianca Bagnarelli

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

Let me start by saying I’m not leaving my wife because of her illness. On the contrary, I’ve probably stayed way longer—we’ve been married nearly 14 years—than I should have because of it.

We both could make a case for why we should have never gotten married. We broke up and got back together several times prior to marrying. I even married someone else (the marriage lasted approximately one year, and I could write a separate letter about that one!), and I was engaged to someone else before our paths crossed again and we married.

Two years later, after the birth of our only daughter together (I have an older child with another woman), my

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