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A Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy

A Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy

Written by Lemony Snicket

Narrated by Lemony Snicket


A Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy

Written by Lemony Snicket

Narrated by Lemony Snicket

ratings:
4/5 (177 ratings)
Length:
3 hours
Publisher:
Released:
Sep 21, 2004
ISBN:
9780060793432
Format:
Audiobook

Also available as...

Also available as bookBook

Also available as...

Also available as bookBook

Description

WARNING: LISTENING TO THIS TAPE WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WEEP...

Dear Listener,

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school.

Don't.

For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals. S.O.R.E., and the metric system.

It is my solemn duty to stay up all night reading my history of these three hapless youngsters into a microphone, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably listen to something else.

With all due respect,

LEMONY SNICKET

Publisher:
Released:
Sep 21, 2004
ISBN:
9780060793432
Format:
Audiobook

Also available as...

Also available as bookBook

About the author

Lemony Snicket had an unusual education which may or may not explain his ability to evade capture. He is the author of the 13 volumes in A Series of Unfortunate Events, several picture books including The Dark, and the books collectively titled All The Wrong Questions.


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Reviews

What people think about A Series of Unfortunate Events #5

4.2
177 ratings / 63 Reviews
What did you think?
Rating: 0 out of 5 stars

Reader reviews

  • (5/5)
    It's been a long time since I've read this series, so writing a review so many years past is perhaps a bit unfair, but I did absolutely love reading this books when they came out. The dark sense of humor appealed to me, as did the motley cast of characters.
  • (4/5)
    I liked the introduction of some new allies for the Baudelaire children in this story. The author does a great job of finding ways to keep this series coherent without being too repetitive. This book also has more of a cliffhanger ending than the others, and just keeps me wanting to read more. The wordplay is witty and excellent as always, with the doom and gloom of Latin mottoes thrown in for fun.
  • (4/5)
    Super crazy!
  • (1/5)
    Horrid narration. I had to keep adjusting my volume. It’s impossible to listen to this guy
  • (5/5)
    I love this series so much! I just hoped that the narrator would be the same guy in the netflix series ?
  • (5/5)
    I really enjoy the series of the Baudelaire children! My mind is always predicting what will happen next!
  • (5/5)
    Amazing! So much suspense and Coach genesis. Wow amazing very
  • (5/5)
    (\__/)
    (._. )
    /. . \
    0—0. Loved it so good amazing awesome
  • (5/5)
    It was just good to listen to I recommend this book
  • (5/5)
    This one made my legs sore.
  • (4/5)

    1 person found this helpful

    This time around the Baudelaire's go to a horrible prep school and of course Count Olaf finds a way to wiggle his way in to steal the orphans. They made friends this time with two other orphans but of course their happiness is short lived. Definitely did not see Count Olaf's plan this time around. Love the series and look forward to reading the next book.

    1 person found this helpful

  • (5/5)

    1 person found this helpful

    This book begins at Prufrock Preparatory school, a boarding school. The Baudelaires are forced to live in the orphan's shack. They meet the Quagmire triplets in the cafeteria. There are only two because the third child died. Everyday at school Violet and Klaus have to memorize all of Mr. Remora's stories and all of Mrs. Bass's measurements of objects. Sunny has to make staples for Principal Nero because she is his secretary. Soon Coach Genghis arrives and forces the Baudelaires to run laps every night after dinner during Principal Nero's violin recital. The big exams were coming up and the Baudelaires needed to find out a way to study. The Quagmires dressed as the Baudelaires and ran laps while the Baudelaires studied. The next day Coach Genghis said he found out. He claimed he made them whisk eggs but Violet didn't think so. The Baudelaires aced their exams but Nero expels them anyway. He tells Mr. Poe that they cheated. Mr. Poe arrived because he needed to deliver candy and earrings to Nero because Nero says that when you miss a recital you have to bring him these things. The Baudelaires missed many recitals. Anyway, Coach Genghis, Olaf, is being interrogated and almost caught because of Mr. Poe and runs away. He shouts back that he's going to the Quagmires to steal their fortune! The two powder faced women drug the Quagmires into Olaf's car and Olaf drives away. Before they leave Duncan and Isadora, the Quagmires, shout V.F.D. The Baudelaires didn't catch the speeding car but swore that they would find their friends. My opinion of this book is that it is great. The mystery and action were awesome. I enjoyed this entertaining book very much. The resolution was the best part for me although it was quite sad. I am curious to know what happens next and what V.F.D. means. I am also surprised that Count Olaf still hasn't been caught, and I wish people would believe the Baudelaires. Great Book!

    1 person found this helpful

  • (2/5)

    1 person found this helpful

    The Lemony Snicket formula is still holding true in this novel. The book still follows the same kind of pattern as those that came before it, with the Orphans being abandoned with some oblivious adult and being targeted by a disguised Count Olaf. For me, this novel was not quite as entertaining as the Miserable Mill because Olaf's plan this time around was a little more mundane. The Guardian - Nero - has also been the least memorable as he does not really interact with the Baudelaires much or possess many distinguishing traits.However, this book did have a couple of interesting aspects. It was nice to see the Baudelaires meeting other children their own age as this is something that has been missing from all of the earlier stories. The hints of a large conspiracy are also coming further to the foreground - including Snicket's own involvement in it - which left me very curious to read on to see how it will develop in the Ersatz Elevator.The writing style is still magnificent. While I think some people may not like Snicket's overly dramatic and repetitive turn of phrase, I still find this utterly irresistible and look forward to starting on the next novel.

    1 person found this helpful

  • (4/5)

    1 person found this helpful

    Certainly not my favorite novel in the Series of Unfortunate Events, but I do really love the Quagmires, and we're finally starting to get deeper into the mystery of VFD!The biggest problem I have with this book is the SORE. Why didn't the Baudelaires just...not go? It might've at least stalled Coach Ghengis for a while...

    1 person found this helpful

  • (3/5)

    1 person found this helpful

    The Baudelaire orphans are dumped at a boarding school. Given that they are each very intelligent, inquisitive children, one might expect this book to be a refreshing change from their usually miserable lives. But alas, their teachers force them to memorize pointless things and the headmaster requires their attendance at his nightly six hour violin recitals. And then Count Olaf shows up!

    The one glimmer of goodness in this soup of despair is that for the first time, the Baudelaires make friends.

    1 person found this helpful

  • (3/5)

    1 person found this helpful

    The misadventures of the Baudelaires continue. Here, they are shipped off to boarding school; where they are forced to live in a shack infested by crabs and fungus.
    However, they make friends with the two Quagmire Triplets (one of them died in a fire), and things look like they might not be quite so despairing after all, even if the school is boring and pointless...
    But then, Count Olaf shows up the the guise of a gym teacher...

    One of the funniest entries into this series so far.

    1 person found this helpful

  • (5/5)

    1 person found this helpful

    Another great book in this series. I really adore Isadora and Duncan so I hope they have a happy ending, but knowing this series I'm sure they don't. Solid plot line, solid characters. I would recommend this book. 5 out of 5 stars.

    1 person found this helpful

  • (4/5)
    And now the shape of a plot starts to kick in! I'm quite certain I haven't read this one before, so now I'm well into new material.
  • (3/5)
    The over the top suffering of the Baudelaires continues.
  • (5/5)
    I love Lemony Snicket. I like it that this book leaves you with a desire for more, but I will take a break from the series for a while. Getting ready for the Summer Reads !!!!
  • (3/5)
    I like the change the series has taken, we now get to see the Baudelaires go to school for once and interact with other kids their age. Its all a bit ridiculous plot-wise, but I liked it all the same, here's to hoping for a big twist soon.
  • (4/5)
    audio book is a great vacation "read" for the whole family
  • (2/5)
    Finally, a new pair of good guy characters without the same tired character traits. I liked the twins who were actually triplets minus one. The rest of the characters were annoying. The story was long and reminiscent of the last story in the series. The most unfortunate thing that I've realized about this series is that there are 13 of these, all bestsellers, and I've only enjoyed one of them so far. That's not a great success rate. I keep reading however, though I don't expect it to get any better. Call it a penchant for misery.
  • (4/5)
    In the fifth book of "A Series of Unfortunate Events" there is finally a small ray of light for the Baudelaire children when they are befriended by the triplets Duncan and Isadora Quagmire (the third of the set, Quigley being deceased) at the awful Prufrock Preparatory School. The triplets have a similarly eerie history: their parents died in a fire and they are heirs to a fortune in sapphires. The usual implausible traps are set by Count Olaf (in disguise, of course) and the usual ingenious plans of the Baudelaire children with the help of the Quagmires get them out of them, but not before the children's new-found friends become trapped themselves. Violet, Klaus and baby Sunny must now discover on their own the terrible secret which the Quagmires uncovered about Count Olaf. Could it have anything to do with what the narrator, Lemony Snicket, knows about Count Olaf? For in this book, the reader finds out that Count Olaf was/is directly involved in the narrator's doomed romance with his precious Beatrice. I can't wait to find out how the underlying story turns out.
  • (4/5)
    I enjoyed this installment in the series because Mr. Snicket made a change from the formula of the first four years by introducing real friends for the Baudelaire children and hinting at a conspiracy that might make sense of their tragic history. I will admit, though, that the formula begun in the first book and carried out so exactingly in each subsequent book has started to wear thin.
  • (4/5)
    I really like the triplets on this story thy seemed very nice
  • (4/5)
    I quite enjoyed this book, not only because of the triplets and the pleasant vibe they added to the miserable setting but also because of the possibility of a more complicated plot aka “V.F.D” which adds a good element of mystery.
  • (1/5)
    This book has very bad quality and when it says free trial why do you have to pay for the FREE trial. The person who was reading the book in the sample didn't even finish chapter 1 ?
  • (4/5)

    1 person found this helpful

    SUMMARY - "The Austere Academy" is the fifth book in the series of unfortunate events by Lemony Snicket. In the austere academy the Baudelaire orphans are sent by Sir, there previous guardian, to a boarding school called Prufrock Preparatory school. At the school the Baudelaire orphans meet vice Principal Nero, who plays the violin but has no talent. The children encounter many strange rules such as no silverware if you go into the administrative office, and no cups for your beverages if you miss one of Nero's seven hour long mandatory violin performances. The Baudelaire's discover that count Olaf is disguised as a PE coach named Genghis. The Baudelaire's lose there friends to count Olaf and are sent away with Mr. Poe to continue their miserable lives. REVIEW - I think that in this book you can nearly feel the sadness the orphans experience. You can mourn along with the Baudelaire orphans for their dead parents, and feel the pain they endure as they try to start a new life and make new friends, but are stopped by the pain and treachery of this world. I like this book because Lemony Snicket writes in an interesting fashion by referring to his own life and dropping hints about other books and characters, so that it almost seems as if the whole series is one great big mystery. I think that although it is a great book, this story is a bit depressing. In this book we see all the hardships that can get in the way of life, especially if your name is Baudelaire. I like this book, and highly recommend it if you don't mind being a bit depressed. I hope you read this, and all the other books in this series.

    1 person found this helpful

  • (4/5)

    1 person found this helpful

    Please, Lemony Snicket, I ask imploringly, a word here which means "so as to have more free time," write a book that doesn't suck me completely into the story, one that doesn't monopolize my reading time, and make me less than attentive as a zoom through the book I read alternately with yours just to get back to yours. Please? Then I'll have more free time for doing things like fixing that leaky faucet, or solving the halting problem, or one of roughly a dozen other things I'd be doing if I weren't busy reading your books.Granted, please let me know if you decide to write an uninteresting book, so that I know to avoid it at all costs, no matter what the organ grinder and his monkey may try to convince me. You may send notice through the normal means, with the exception of heliograph, as I have recently taken up occupation with a family of feral bats, and they do not take so kindly the flashing lights, no matter what manner of information is being conveyed.Nevertheless, I would just like for you to know that I recently picked up and read The Austere Academy, and I would like to say the following things about it:I found it truly vivid, your description of the Baudelaire's stay at Prufrock Prep. I had the chance to visit the same not too long ago, and was indeed reminded, as their motto states, that someday I will die. Vice Principal Nero certainly seems the sort to act in a way you described: busily practicing violin (of which, I have heard, he is a musical genius, and not, as you say, bad at it) so as to not notice the dastardly Count Olaf disguised as Coach Genghis, ready to spirit the orphans away in some dastardly scheme. Additionally, I enjoyed learning about the surviving Quagmire triplets, who, like the Baudelaire orphans, were orphaned due to a fire burning down their home, and how they assisted the Baudelaire's in foiling Olaf's scheme. Those poor children.The story, however, could have done without mentioning Carmelita Spats. She is truly terrifying. My therapist, who, currently, is a computer program, as I have recently developed a fear of those educated beyond a Masters degree, has had to spend countless hours psychoanalyzing me to help me forget the dreadful beast of a child.I found the book, unfortunate as the subject matter was, to be well written, and a very honest account of the trials and tribulation faced by our orphaned heroes.Please, continue to impress me, assuming you are well and able to write more. Otherwise, I shall take comfort in the fact that I have secured all thirteen of your unfortunate tomes (and two dreadful holiday books), and am meanwhile scouring the bazaars for any other writings I may procure authored by you.I was told, once, by a man who could stand perfectly still like a statue, but still hold a rousing conversation, that one who was interested in some fellow named Handler might enjoy (if truly enjoy you can these unfortunate works) the accounts of the Baudelaire orphans. I have not myself verified this, as most respectable bookstores that sell the works of Handler do not accept my guano-stained currency.Respectfully yours.

    1 person found this helpful