Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Unavailable
    You're Not Doing It Right: Tales of Marriage, Sex, Death, and Other Humiliations
    Unavailable
    You're Not Doing It Right: Tales of Marriage, Sex, Death, and Other Humiliations
    Unavailable
    You're Not Doing It Right: Tales of Marriage, Sex, Death, and Other Humiliations
    Audiobook6 hours

    You're Not Doing It Right: Tales of Marriage, Sex, Death, and Other Humiliations

    Published by Penguin Random House Audio

    4/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    In the tradition of Christian Lander's hipster/yuppie-friendly bestselling Stuff White People Like, Michael Ian Black delivers his unique brand of quirky, deadpan humor in this new collection of comedic essays. Now that Black has become the guy he swore he'd never be-a Yuppie A-Hole-he has a lot to say about his family life in suburbia, and he shares his incisive yet absurd observations with readers in You're Not Doing It Right.  Chronicling his adventures cruising the neighborhood for his inevitable future "divorce house" (despite being happily married) or discussing Our Second Shitty Baby, Black delivers his straightfaced musings with the same sardonic humor that has earned him a rabid cult following. Want to know the pros and cons of hamster ownership or why kindergarten recitals are so boring? Looking for tips for lying to your kids about Santa? Clever, dry, and laugh-out-loud funny, You're Not Doing It Right will "blow your mind all over your face" just like My Custom Van.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPenguin Random House Audio
    Release dateFeb 28, 2012
    ISBN9780449015407
    Unavailable
    You're Not Doing It Right: Tales of Marriage, Sex, Death, and Other Humiliations

    Related to You're Not Doing It Right

    Related audiobooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      TV & REVIEWS

      Jan 17, 2023

      TV & REVIEWS
      3 min read

    • Article

      Book Club

      Nov 9, 2022

      Book Club
      5 min read

    • Article

      December’s BOOK CLUB

      Oct 27, 2022

      The Christmas Wish by Lindsey Kelk (£14.99, HB, HarperCollins) From the author of the I Heart series comes another crowd-pleaser with a concept: what if it was Christmas every day? For newly single Gwen, who is keen to escape her job, a family Chris

      4 min read

    • Article

      Book Club

      Jan 4, 2024

      Book Club
      5 min read

    • Article

      At The Present Time

      Nov 1, 2022

      At The Present Time
      8 min read

    • Article

      Let It Bea

      Jan 9, 2023

      Let It Bea
      6 min read

    • Article

      Book Club

      Dec 7, 2022

      Book Club
      4 min read

    • Article

      This Is Your Life

      Oct 3, 2021

      This Is Your Life
      2 min read

    • Article

      TV & REVIEWS

      Dec 20, 2022

      TV & REVIEWS
      4 min read

    • Article

      Comics And Graphic Novels

      Jan 25, 2024

      Comics And Graphic Novels
      4 min read

    • Article

      November’s BOOK CLUB

      Sep 29, 2022

      The Ghost Woods by CJ Cooke (£14.99, HB, Harper Collins) Celebrate spooky season with this gothic thriller. When Pearl Gorham arrives at Lichen Hall in 1965 to have her baby, she knows immediately something is amiss. The Whitlocks are a troubled fam

      4 min read

    • Article

      Review: 'Come Away' Goes Down A Rabbit Hole And Never, Never Comes Back

      Nov 11, 2020

      "Come Away" aims at a magical mashup of the legends of "Peter Pan" and "Alice in Wonderland" and so misses, it leaves one perplexed. With an expression of dismay and concern, not a warm sensation. It's as if it meant to let fly an enchanted arrow at

      2 min read

    • Article

      Book Reviews Win Books

      Dec 21, 2021

      BOOK GIVEAWAYS ONE COPY OF EACH TITLE TO BE WON! To enter email the book title as subject to: subs@rvmagazine.co.nz or post to: NZTRV Vol 14 Books, PO Box 220, Martinborough 5711 with your full details, and go in the draw to win. Closes 28 Feb 2022 h

      4 min read

    • Article

      Book Reviews Win Books

      Dec 14, 2023

      Spike Milligan RRP $28 Penguin Badjelly the witch is coming to get you! Badjelly the witch can turn children into sausages or chop them up to make boy-girl soup. She can turn policemen into apple trees or bananas into mice! Tim and Rose’s terrifying

      3 min read

    • Article

      What’s Going On?

      Dec 21, 2021

      • The pagan festival of Imbolc falls on 2 February – and you can honour it, the return of the light, and the goddess Brigid, without leaving your house. Join the online Imbolc celebration from 6.15-7.15pm – find out more by searching for Vibe High Yo

      2 min read

    Reviews for You're Not Doing It Right

    4/5

    93 ratings14 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 5/5
      Loved this book! Once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down. I was surprised by how deeply I could relate to every story he relayed. Often, I felt as though he had reached inside my brain and stole my thoughts and memories from my own life, which, admittedly, is a little creepy (but thoroughly entertaining, nonetheless). I highly recommend this book to everyone. Actually, I would go so far as to say that this should be required reading for all people, everywhere, especially before, during (and possibly even after) marriage. This is the most realistic depiction of marriage and parenthood I have ever come across. I especially enjoyed the chapter entitled "I hate my baby". This is the place I happened to open the book when I was perusing it in the library. I started to read a couple of lines, and the next thing I knew I had read right through the entire chapter! Needless to say, I enthusiastically brought it home and read it in every free moment I could find (apparently I found a lot of moments, because I finished it by the next morning). Finally, a kindred spirit! My husband is leaving on a business trip tomorrow, and I demanded that he take it with him and read it. Between paralegals, panda bears, and the Breezy Tampon, there is something for everyone in here!
    • 4/5
      This was quite funny and surprisingly touching (or sweet, or some other adjective like that).
    • 4/5
      If you're at all familiar with Michael Ian Black's comedy, you know that he will say just about any awful thing you can imagine as if he means it with all his heart. This book isn't written by *that* Michael Ian Black. I mean, okay, he does in fact still say some horrible things as if he means them with all his heart, but there are also glimpses at the humanity lurking behind the statements, and the shared experiences that lead many of us to think the things he says out loud. (If you're not at all familiar with his comedy, and you would be offended by someone's account of dealing with their colicky newborn which includes the sentence, "I hate my stupid baby," you should stay far away from this book.)The memoir travels roughly chronologically, from being raised by a mother who was in a lesbian relationship after her divorce (which he didn't realize for a while, since all adult relationships seemed weird and confusing as a child anyway), to his father's death, to his relationship with his wife-to-be, to having his own children. Occasionally he doubles back around to talk about his first experiences with girls or high school trauma at the hands of a bully. The book isn't funny; or I should say, it isn't always funny. There's the expected deadpan humor, but a lot of it isn't really played for laughs. He tells stories in which he clearly comes out the bad guy, often in the context of his marriage. (Digression: I once saw Michael Ian Black in New York City, as we were crossing a street in opposite directions. I didn't say anything to him for two reasons: one, stopping in the middle of a busy NYC intersection is essentially impossible, and even if you could manage it, you'd be taking your life into your hands; and two, he was in conversation with a tall, blonde woman. I realize now it's quite possible the woman was his wife, which makes me glad that the circumstances weren't such that I could talk to him. It would have been very awkward to declare my undying love for him and suggest that we run away together in front of his wife.)In looking up some information on the book before I was finished, I accidentally read a review (I try not to do this ordinarily) and the comments on it (an even worse idea). Several people took issue with an incident Black describes in the book in which he is arguing with his wife, and in their yelling match she brings up divorce (as he says she often does). He goes on to describe the fact that their daughter is crying in the next room, asking them to stop fighting, and that neither of them goes to comfort her because they're too busy being mad at each other. According to the comments I read, this makes both of them terrible parents. While I obviously don't think that incident should be held up as any great example of parenting techniques, who on earth hasn't gotten into an argument in front of their kids? Said some things that they regretted? Been too angry to calmly explain the situation to the child? Even parents who do explain are likely to sometimes do it in an accusatory manner that casts negativity on the other parent. And parents who don't argue at all often end up with kids who later in life think the world is ending if there's discord in their own relationships, or who just keep it all inside for fear of bringing about a conflict. The point is, you can't realistically win. Unless, of course, you're perfect - in which case, you should obviously be raising everyone's children.So, in summary: Michael Ian Black sometimes hates his wife and kids, but he also loves them and is fearful he's not doing a good job in his roles as spouse and parent. In other words, he's just like everyone else (but without a filter). If you're the audience for this book, you probably already know that, so what are you waiting for? And consider getting the audio version, because you're gonna hear his voice in your head if you read it to yourself anyway, so why not *actually* hear his voice in your head?!
    • 4/5
      Pretty funny. It has a bit of language, so I wouldn't listen to it in a car with young children. I really enjoyed the stuff on marriage and kids. I think he tells it in a funny way without being cynical, or just blaming every bad thing in his life on other people as too many (non-funny) comedians do these days.
    • 4/5
      I don't believe that this "Michael Ian Black" guy is a real person. He sounds too much like Kemper. Probably the children in the story are just fictionalized versions of Kemper's cats...

      So good job, Michael Kemper. I laughed myself silly reading this book. And I bet anyone who has dated, gotten married, and/or had kids (or well beloved cats) will grin at this un-pc (but real) roast on modern life.
    • 4/5
      These [Empire] novels are immature from both a writing and plotting craft viewpoint. But how wonderful it was to read this one! Since I had read almost all of Asimovs science fiction before, this one stood out like a treasure suddenly unearthed. Throughout the book there were wisps of future books' characters, plotting, and genius. Tractor was really beginning to take shape. The Spacer worlds were fading into the mists of forgotten time, yet there they were, too.I will begin my rereading of the [Foundation Trilogy] after I read a few non-Asimov books, but I am SO glad I paused to read these three Empire novels.Oh, and shame on the publisher --Tor Books, an imprint of Tom Doherty--for changing Asimov's biography. As EVERYONE knows, his parents immigrated to the U.S. by accompanying Isaac when he was a lad of three.
    • 2/5
      Merely okay. The three major story arcs didn't do it for me.
    • 4/5
      Another terrific non-series Asimov novels. This one is set on a remote planet, Florina, where most of the population work as slaves producing the precious fabric kyrt; the benefits of the kyrt trade go to the nearby (and much richer) planet of Sark. An earthman who has lost his memory first appears as a simple peasant on Fiorina, but as his memory returns, the plot thickens. A compelling read.
    • 3/5
      A man wakes up in a rural town on an oppressed planet with no memory of his identity or past. Slowly, as his memories begin to return, events are set in motion that will shake the future of two worlds, and possibly the entire Galactic Empire. This shorter novel shares some of the same characteristics of Asimov's more famous Foundation series: a big concept hook that underpins the story but isn't actually that integral to it; an emphasis on plot rather than characters; and a reliance on wildly improbable coincidences, some of which turn out not to be coincidences after all, to drive the story. On the other hand, in the various perspectives this novel offers of a radically unjust social and economic system -- and the compromises power makes to preserve privilege -- the novel implies a little more political reflection than the Foundation or Robot series. It's also a little less fun.
    • 3/5
      This is sort of a pre-Foundation novel, even a pre-Robot novel. Mostly, this seems to be Asimov's exploration of a theory he had, and one of his usual commentaries on forms of government. Not bad, but his later books are better.
    • 5/5
      Read for the first time ever, and in one sitting. As off a novel written in 1951, the non-pervasiveness of computers and electronic information storage and retrieval was obvious. Still enjoyable. The middle book of the three novels later grouped together as Asimov's Galactic Empire novels, it takes place when only half of the galaxy under Trantor's control.
    • 3/5
      This is Asimov's 2nd Galactic Empire Novel. I was a little disapointed to not find a direct sequel to "The Stars, Like Dust". The power that gained control of the US Constitution (Asimov noted in his autobiography he regretted, and was annoyed at letting editor H.L. Gold talk him in to naming the document the US Constitution, I congratulate Gold on job well done)--which is thought to be Trantor--is now in a power struggle with Sark over the control of the Planet Florina. These powers manifest themselves in the form of Abel--Tantorian Ambassador--and the most powerful Great Squire of Sark, Fife. All together there are 5 Great Squires of Sark, each with a highly entertaining personality. Dr. Junz, from the ISB, has been searching for a missing man of his organization, a Spatio Analyst who disappeared after warning of immense danger to Florina. Florina is the producer of Kyrt, a material unique to the planet, and most economically vialble. Rik, our missing man, turns up with wiped memory working at the kyrt mills and in the care of Valona--a plain country girl--and the Townman. He begins to remember his past.
    • 1/5
      Reviewed Oct 1999 Another Asimov! This is from the Foundation series and the first after all the robot books. In fact robots aren’t even mentioned. Earth is though although almost no one has heard of it. It’s still a radioactive planet where people can live in small cities. Sadly we know that Earth doesn’t survive despite all the hard work people put into it. But this book isn’t about Earth, but a man who is found on a planet called Florina. Florina is virtually a slave word run by a nearby planet, Sark who exploit the workers to grow Kyrt, a type of plant that wen grown anywhere else becomes cotton. This man is found in a village, nude and able to care for himself, just like an infant. He has been psycho probed and has no memory. It’s been a year when his memory begins to come back in pieces. His caregiver, Voona is in love with him, and helps him along with the Townman to put the pieces back together. Political struggles and double crossings are everywhere. Who can you trust? Rik (the memory less man) finally remembers that he was a scientist who had just discovered that the planet Florina was going to blow up. Quite a tease, Asimov shows the beginnings of the Empire. 41-1999
    • 4/5
      Pretty good novel, one that I enjoyed much more than The Stars, Like Dust. The ending is amazing. Such twists!