Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Unavailable
    I Hate You-Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
    Unavailable
    I Hate You-Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
    Unavailable
    I Hate You-Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
    Audiobook7 hours

    I Hate You-Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

    Written by Hal Straus and Jerold J. Kreisman, MD

    Narrated by Mel Foster

    3.5/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) experience such violent and frightening mood swings that they often fear for their sanity. They can be euphoric one moment, despairing and depressed the next. There are an estimated 18 million sufferers of BPD living in America today-each displaying remarkably similar symptoms:

    • A shaky sense of identity
    • Sudden outbursts of anger
    • Oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection
    • Brief, turbulent love affairs
    • Intense feelings of emptiness
    • Eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies
    • An irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone

    For years BPD was difficult to describe, diagnose, and treat. But with this classic guide, Dr. Jerold J. Kreisman and health writer Hal Straus offer much-needed professional advice, helping victims and their families understand and cope with this troubling, shockingly widespread affliction. This completely revised and updated edition includes information on the most up-to-date research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder, as well as the connections between BPD and substance abuse, sexual abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder, ADHD, and eating disorders, making it a vital reference for understanding and living with BPD.

    "This book belongs on the bookshelf of patients, their friends and family, and for all those who help in their healing." -Randi Kreger, author of Stop Walking on Eggshells and The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBrilliance Audio
    Release dateApr 17, 2012
    ISBN9781455880041
    Unavailable
    I Hate You-Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

    Related to I Hate You-Don't Leave Me

    Related audiobooks

    Psychology For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Health News

      Jan 14, 2021

      Health News
      2 min read

    • Article

      Opinion: Cultural Confusion: The Shifting Line Between Sane And ‘Unsane’

      May 8, 2018

      Where does sanity end and mental illness begin? It's a shifting boundary, one based as much on culture as it is on our understanding of the brain and mental health.

      4 min read

    • Article

      Speaker's CORNER

      Oct 21, 2019

      Speaker's CORNER
      2 min read

    • Article

      Therapy Is Making Kids Ill

      Mar 28, 2024

      IF YOU DON’T HAVE WORDS TO EXPRESS a thought, can you even think it? The idea that language shapes cognition is known as the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, after American linguist Edward Sapir and his student Benjamin Whorf, and almost a century after it wa

      5 min read

    • Article

      Commentary: Mental Illness Was My Family's Secret — And America's Great Shame

      Oct 1, 2019

      In 2011, I began a professional and personal journey to understand my profession's abandonment of our sickest patients. I had been trained as a psychiatrist at an Ivy League medical center on the East Coast. Like most of my colleagues in my generatio

      5 min read

    • Article

      People With Mental Illness Can Make Psychiatric Advance Directives. We Need To Encourage Them To Do So

      Feb 23, 2018

      After struggling to treat a patient who was mentally ill, I've come around to the need for psychiatric advance directives, and other docs should, too.

      3 min read

    • Article

      President Donald J. Trump Proclaims May 2017 as National Mental Health Awareness Month

      May 2, 2017

      NATIONAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH, 2017 - - - - - - -  BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA A PROCLAMATION National Mental Health Awareness Month is a time to recognize the millions of American families affected by mental il

      2 min read

    • Article

      True Or False

      Jan 23, 2020

      True Or False
      1 min read

    • Article

      R.A.I.S.E. Men Up

      Nov 24, 2023

      R.A.I.S.E. Men Up
      2 min read

    • Article

      Navigating Narcissists

      Mar 5, 2023

      Navigating Narcissists
      2 min read

    • Article

      Changing Minds

      Jul 3, 2022

      Among medical specialists practising today, psychiatrists continue to rank among the least trusted by patients and their medical peers – an unenviable situation for professionals who spend more than a decade studying. The most charitable assessments

      4 min read

    • Article

      Kind Of Blue

      Jul 4, 2021

      Kind Of Blue
      10 min read

    • Article

      We Decolonized Mental Health Services?

      Dec 17, 2022

      Around 75 per cent of those who take their own lives are in low and middle-income countries. The WHO’s response to this alarming fact has been to promise a rapid scale-up of access to anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. The problem with this soluti

      3 min read

    • Article

      The Wisdom Of Trauma

      Jul 20, 2021

      Dr Gabor Maté (pronounced, GAH-bor MAH-tay) is a retired doctor who, after 20 years of family practice and palliative-care experience, worked for over a decade in Canada, in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside with patients challenged by drug addiction and

      2 min read

    • Article

      The Conversation

      Aug 18, 2019

      The Conversation
      9 min read

    • Article

      Opinion: ‘Angels In America’ Again: It’s Time To Humanize Addiction

      Jun 1, 2018

      Addiction is a disease, not a choice. Getting rid of the stigma will help lead the way to better treatment.

      4 min read

    • Article

      Is Everyone Depressed?

      May 22, 2020

      Is Everyone Depressed?
      9 min read

    • Article

      Health News

      Jan 21, 2021

      Health News
      2 min read

    Reviews for I Hate You-Don't Leave Me

    3.5/5

    87 ratings6 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 4/5
      Gave me a clear idea of BPD. I'm not sure how factually updated and accurate this book currently is but it was very readable to me and, sadly, relatable.
    • 2/5
      Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD from here on out) has quite a few symptoms that some of us might experience today: a shaky sense of identity, sudden violent outbursts, oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection, brief and turbulent love affairs, frequent periods of intense depression, eating disorders, drug abuse, or other self-destructive tendencies, an irrational fear of abandonment, and an inability to be alone (taken from the book).I am not familiar with this particular disorder, especially in this day and age when so many different psychological disorders exist and are talked about in the mass media almost constantly. The authors lay a groundwork through examples and the above listed behaviors to introduce a disorder that is not easily solved by a magic pill or a little therapy.However, and this is a big However, the book is marketed as a self help book, but reads like a very difficult and very dull academic paper that was presented at a conference somewhere. The authors cover all of this material, and yet can only suggest therapy and medicinal help to solve the problem. The authors also suggest to therapists how to work with BPD patients, family and friends get advice on how to deal with BPD sufferers, but virtually ignore anyone reading this who might think they suffer from BPD, except to talk about long therapy sessions, and how BPD sufferers may not react well to that therapy.The book has a copyright date of 1989, and has been reprinted dozens of times, but the book's publishers never felt a need to update the text, making awkward references to the Soviet Union and the Challenger explosion. Advances in anti-depressants are also ignored.With the modern cover, and reader friendly back cover notes, you might pick this up thinking "I have those symptoms, this will help." If anything this tome will lull you into complacent, calm boredom. I do not recommend "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me." If you believe you are suffering from the above symptoms, you are better off seeking professional help instead of this.
    • 3/5
      Described as the definitive work on the subject of borderline personality disorder (BPD), this book is informative and interesting to read. It does a great job of describing the current diagnostic tools and some of the methods of treatment that are helpful for people suffering from BPD. There is also some interesting discussion of societal trends and their possible impact on the increase in incidence of BPD. I appreciated the description of BPD as being on a spectrum like autism, as well as the acknowledgment that it is difficult to diagnose and to treat and that better diagnostic tools are needed. I especially l found the chapters on how to communicate with a person with BPD very useful. There were also some things about the book that really, really annoyed me. First of all, I didn't really find the case studies helpful. They were all too similar. Similar age of patient, similar life history, etc. The biggest drawback to the book was the huge amount of time spent in a Freudian analysis of how bad parenting (particularly mothering) causes BPD. I am not arguing with the solid evidence of higher occurrence of BPD in persons with abusive parents or childhood trauma. What I object to is the complete lack of discussion about the occurrence of BPD in persons with no trauma or abuse in their past and no obvious indicators. Surely there are patients who have nice families and haven't been abused who still end up with BPD?

      1 person found this helpful

    • 3/5
      For a newly-revised book, this volume sure feels old.Some of that is inevitable. Borderline Personality Disorder is a curious thing -- the name arose because it was thought to be on the borderline between being neurotic (quirky but not really "crazy") and psychotic (flat-out delusional). But recent examination doesn't back that up, so it ended up among the Personality Disorders. And the Personality Disorders themselves are difficult concepts. In 2013, when the American Psychiatric Association was preparing the fifth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the section on Personality Disorders was voted down. This meant that the old definitions from the fourth edition were left standing. And the fourth edition hadn't substantially modified the definitions from the third edition! So this book was describing a condition that is still defined in a manner that is almost forty years old.But that isn't the real problem. The real problem is that this volume shows almost no sign of the advances in neurology that have come in the decades since its first edition was published. Surely, by now, we must have some clue as to what causes Borderline Personality Disorder, as we do with schizophrenia and depression and even autism. Surely we do, but you won't know it from this book.The treatment methods involved are also rather out-of-date. The whole book sounds as if it's based on psychodynamics -- the treatment model that goes back to Freud, and that is now almost completely ignored in clinical practice. But this book not only gives us a psychodynamic examination of individuals, it even gives us a psychodynamic view of our whole society -- a society, it argues, that encourages "borderline-ism." I suspect that, to some extent, the authors are right. But it all felt very irrelevant to me.That doesn't make it entirely useless. That title, I Hate You -- Don't Leave Me, in itself tells you a lot about the nature of Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is marked by an extremely maladaptive way of relating to others mixed with a desperate need for acceptance. So a person with BPD can be yelling and screaming and apparently hating a person while being desperate for comfort and companionship. It's a very difficult affliction to understand for those who come at it from outside.This book has been a bestseller, so I assume its insights have been helpful for many. But I couldn't help but wish for more.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      Great exposure to and understanding of the world of those with borderline personality disorder, and help for those who have someone in his or her life with it.
    • 3/5
      Rating: 2.5 of 5A quick read, I'm not sure I Hate You, Don't Leave Me would prove all that enlightening, or even helpful, for anyone seeking a deep examination of borderline personalities. It's rather broad except for the case studies, which weren't varied enough, in my opinion.Chapter 4 - The Borderline Society was interesting, but readers have to make certain allowances for the year the book was published (1989) and realize a lot of the information, analyses and statistics are probably outdated."The ever-growing reverence for science and technology has led to an obsessive pursuit of precision. Calculators and computers replace memorized multiplication tables and slide rules. Velcro deprives children of learning how to tie shoelaces. Creativity and intellectual diligence are sacrificed to convenience and precision (p.67)."Chapter 5 - Understanding and Healing offered more actionable insight than previous chapters."Psychological change requires resisting unproductive automatic reflexes and consciously and willfully choosing other alternatives - choices that are different, even opposite, from automatic reflex - sometimes these new ways of behaving are frightening, but they hopefully are more efficient ways of coping (p.90)."Overall, it did not contain the information I was looking for.