The barrage of A. A. meetings had penetrated the denial front. I heard my story a dozens of times .The real tough guys met life on life’s terms; without booze or drugs to numb the insults of life. I had accepted that life would be better if I put the plug in the jug and surrendered to win. I was not fi ghting the good fi ght when I was self-prescribing a mixed bag of feel-good drugs. I would soon learn the meaning of serenity, one day at a time as a better way to cope. We were told to “give up one thing and you can have everything.” The rum was out of the fruitcake. I was determined to take the program seriously. The substances were my crutch to navigate the difficult times and now I needed spirituality to replace the drugs. The progress was little and slow.