Hey, folks. I’m Joe, and I’m a vampire – not by choice, mind you, but by accident…a fate-twisting, fang-creating, blood lust-inducing misunderstanding.
It started with a group date, a case of mistaken identity and far too many sake bombers, and ended with a ridiculous set of circumstances that I just can’t seem to wrap my head around.
Maybe you can tell: I’m not real happy about it. But I’m certainly not going to let it get in the way of my life.
So I’ve thrown my ranting into a blog. I’m hanging out my dirty laundry in an effort to explain the real deal about being a card-carrying member of the Undead Elite. Maybe it will help others understand the truth about vampires. Believe me, it’s not all satin capes and naked ladies…none of it is, actually. Instead, it’s just one nasty little surprise after another. The truth bears exposing, and I’m pulling back the curtain on all of it. If I can figure out how to keep it from mowing me over in the process, then that’s groovy, too.
And that thing about vampires sparkling in the sun?
4.5 starsI don't normally, okay ever, pick up a comedic book to read. It's just not my norm. Vampires, however, are very much my norm. I love them, can't get enough of them. Books, movies, television, whatever... if it has vampires there is a really good chance I am going to love it. Or, that was the case up until a couple of years ago, but we won't go into what caused my change. Kristen Stewart/Robert PattinsonSo, when I saw a tweet about Joe Vampire I headed over to Amazon to check out. Read the blurb and thought, 'eh, I'm not so sure'. Then I saw the price and thought, 'what the hell, if it sucks (no pun intended) I'm only out a buck'. Ninety-nine cent ebooks tend to get me really excited. Plus it has the vampire points previously mentioned, so I moved up to the top of the TBR pile. So glad I did!If you don't know Joe, you need to. He's an average... well, Joe. He works at a not so exciting job, has a not so exciting love life, plays keyboards for a not so exciting band and when things in life get rough he camps out under his coffee table. Normal, right? All that changes when he is set up on a blind date with Dawn. Correct that, Don. Oops. It all goes downhill from there. Joe Vampire is the tale (told through a blog) of a guy trying to figure out how to be a blood sucker while still holding on to his life, friends, family, and the girl he's been admiring at the copy machine for months. And though Joe is about the snarkiest smart ass around he's also caring and thoughtful and vulnerable. All of which make for a great character and nice story. Add in some other interesting characters like the vampire hunter who can't understand why Joe doesn't sparkle or the granny prostitute/rock singer along with his accounts about how to deal with his pasty skin and sharp fangs or how the transition really happens and you are in for one fun ride!Quick warning for the Young Adult audience who follows this blog....this book definitely needs approval from a parental figure before you pick it up. The language can be a bit much for a younger crowd. I, on the other hand, tend to talk like a Longshoreman so this was right up my alley.I can't say enough about how funny this book was, I giggled the whole way through. Joe Vampire was money well spent, even if it were listed at a higher price. But it's not. It's only a buck!! Go buy it now ~ you won't be sorry!read more
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