Dr. Friedman believes that at the root of almost all emotional problems is unforgiveness (grievances, judgments and attack thoughts)-- towards others, ourselves, our circumstances, God, anyone or everyone. The Forgiveness Solution is an easy to learn, practical and integrative process whereby we learn to shift and release our perceptions, attitudes, images, energy and distressing feelings (anger, guilt, hurt, shame, anxiety, panic, trauma etc) and simultaneously re-empower ourselves by choosing and deciding to forgive. He teaches us many powerful exercises, tools and techniques that show us exactly how to forgive rather than just talking about forgiveness. In The Forgiveness Solution Dr. Friedman introduces us to the new, highly effective healing techniques of Transformational Forgiveness and Energetic Forgiveness. When we forgive we find within ourself the capacity to feel an authentic sense of peace and contentment when thinking about the person or situation we previously perceived as hurting or harming us while giving up the desire for retribution, punishment, or harm. This almost always leads to much greater happiness and joy. The next step in the Forgiveness Solution process is learning to develop positive, compassionate and often loving feelings toward the people and circumstances (including ourselves) that we previously perceived as hurtful. Finally, we learn to interpret -- and then realize -- that these upsetting experiences are opportunities for profound personal and spiritual healing and growth.
Topics: Happiness, Forgiveness, Informative, Tips & Tricks, and Guides
Published: Red Wheel Weiser on Jan 1, 2010
A book designed to help people find healing, growth, and energy through forgiveness of self, others, and circumstances. The book begins with a few psychological tests to determine where one is in terms of forgiveness of self and others and emotional well-being. The author then describes relaxation techniques, affirmations, pressure point therapy, therapy through guided imaging and dialogue, and a few other processes by which one can forgive and transform life. The author places a lot of emphasis on the spiritual realm, and there is value in that. The generic discussion of spirituality and inclusive terminology can get a bit irritating, but the emphasis on taking responsibility, being willing to forgive to get rid of negative energy, emotions, and baggage, and restoration of empathy and compassion through consideration of the perspective of the other are wholly consistent with religious instruction.Few are those who will be entirely open and willing to all the exercises; the reader is likely going to be skeptical of a few or many of the practices, but everyone should be able to find some value in some of the exercises. As a Christian, I can understand how many would be quite suspicious of the focus on energy and spirituality. The one area in which I must take significant exception with the author is the view that all are really innocent, including self and others, when according to the Christian worldview the opposite is true-- all are guilty. None are better than others, none ought to be more or less forgivable than others. While the author may overstate his case regarding the centrality of forgiveness, there should be no argument that forgiveness is a necessary process if we seek contentment, wholeness, and strong relationships with others. We must forgive others if we desire to be forgiven, and this book provides many good suggestions for methods to that end.read more
The premise of The Forgiveness Solution is, "that lurking underneath almost all of the other problems we have there is one core problem: unforgiveness." While I have no evidence to prove or disprove the theory, I'm intrigued by it.The book includes several assessment tests and journaling exercises to help you implement the idea presented in the book. In other words, it's not the kind of book you'll read straight through curled up on the couch. It's more of an active reading, with written assignments to complete to get the full effect.It's hard to assess the overall effectiveness of the book, since it will vary wildly between readers. From an objective standpoint, there's a lot of good information here and it has the potential to help you work through areas in your life where you've been unable or unwilling to forgive someone (including yourself). It gets a little new-agey at times, but that doesn't bother me much.One last observation is the table of contents - it is one of the most detailed I've ever seen, with an entry for every few pages. Perusing it will give you an accurate summary of the book.read more
This book starts out with some good helpful information on forgiveness and the harmful effects on our lives of unforgiveness. i think it overstates the case to say that ALL human negative emotions are in some way caused by unforgiveness. The first chapters are helpful in determining if you do have issues you need to deal with - grudges, anger, lingering abuse problems and gives some good exercises in beginning the process of forgiving past hurts. I found those chapters helpful, but not containing any new insights for me. The remainder of the book got into new age stuff - heavy reliance on affirmtions and techniques that seem way out there. This book might be most helpful for therapists working with patient issues, its hard to imagine the average reader getting into the pressure point techniques described, touching various parts of the face and upper body to get relief (?) from negative emotions. Good start, but beware of the heavy emphasis on affirmations and meditations that seem a bit out there.read more
"Radical forgiveness occurs simply as a consequence of being open to the possibility that everything happens for a reason, and there are no mistakes," writes Philip H. Friedman, Ph.D. in "The Forgiveness Solution."Much of the author's writing is intriguing, and perhaps helpful when the exercises and mantras are carried through as suggested. The ability to forgive oneself and others is vitally important to mental and physical well-being. However, Dr. Friedman's position, that only what he calls "radical forgiveness" as described above, is the means to the end, is untenable.This is a well-written, well-outlined book with good information, all to be considered carefully. I would suggest it could even be inappropriate for certain situations.read more
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