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After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

Topics: Funny, Family, Fathers, Sons, Social Media, First Person Narration, Essays, and Male Author

Published: HarperCollins on
ISBN: 9780062002945
List price: $10.99
Read on Scribd mobile: iPhone, iPad and Android.
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Sh*t My Dad Says is the book that made the tv show of the same name. It is a little different than I expected but still a great book. At times I just burst out laughing and was glad I was alone so I didn't get any funny looks.
more
As I expected, only some of this book made me LOL, just like the Twitter account - I laugh at approximately half the tweets. I was surprised that this book was not only a collection of tweets but also the author's brief memoir of his dad. I thought it would basically be the Twitter account on paper.

I was tempted to give this book four stars, since some stuff was really funny, and it was nice to find out his dad really isn't just a big jerk; he's a pretty good guy who loves his son, but some stuff was gross, and I don't like when books gross me out, so I knocked it down a star.more
Filled with beautiful life lessons and colorful words to live by.more
"Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.”

“First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell? ...Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that's not moving makes you an asshole.”

“Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me”

That last one was the first one I ever saw on Twitter, and I laughed until I was in tears. My Uncle Dale is exactly like this, so whenever I picture Sam Halpern, in my mind he looks just like Uncle Dale. Sure, sure, BillFuckingShatner might think he's cornered the Justin's Dad market, but not to me.

This is a funny, funny book. It's not complicated, or profound, except in the way that families can be both, when they love each other. This book is a gentle-hearted poke at love between a father and son.

I loved it, and I laughed. I know, I know, 5 stars? Why not? it was delightful, sometimes you just gotta go with that.more
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Reviews

Sh*t My Dad Says is the book that made the tv show of the same name. It is a little different than I expected but still a great book. At times I just burst out laughing and was glad I was alone so I didn't get any funny looks.
more
As I expected, only some of this book made me LOL, just like the Twitter account - I laugh at approximately half the tweets. I was surprised that this book was not only a collection of tweets but also the author's brief memoir of his dad. I thought it would basically be the Twitter account on paper.

I was tempted to give this book four stars, since some stuff was really funny, and it was nice to find out his dad really isn't just a big jerk; he's a pretty good guy who loves his son, but some stuff was gross, and I don't like when books gross me out, so I knocked it down a star.more
Filled with beautiful life lessons and colorful words to live by.more
"Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.”

“First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell? ...Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that's not moving makes you an asshole.”

“Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me”

That last one was the first one I ever saw on Twitter, and I laughed until I was in tears. My Uncle Dale is exactly like this, so whenever I picture Sam Halpern, in my mind he looks just like Uncle Dale. Sure, sure, BillFuckingShatner might think he's cornered the Justin's Dad market, but not to me.

This is a funny, funny book. It's not complicated, or profound, except in the way that families can be both, when they love each other. This book is a gentle-hearted poke at love between a father and son.

I loved it, and I laughed. I know, I know, 5 stars? Why not? it was delightful, sometimes you just gotta go with that.more
Hey, I'm a lot older than Justy Halpern and my Dad's been dead for years. But wait, is it possible? Maybe we had the same dad?And maybe that's why this book is so popular. I howled with laughter and related to a whole sh*t load of it. Maybe millions of others do to. A fast, hilarious read.more
I've no idea how this book got on my radar, but the name was familiar when I saw it on the shelves of the virtual library. It's not exactly a sophisticated read, but it is entertaining and the parenting style of Sam Halpern (the eponymous Dad) is quite a breath of fresh air after the everyone-is-awesome even-losers-get-a-prize sort of parenting that seems to be the norm nowadays. What comes through is his strong sense of right and wrong and his genuine thoughtfulness for those who need extra care, like the kid on the baseball team whose home life was crappy (and Angus the dog).Not a book to read if you're offended by mention of bodily functions and coarse language, but if those don't bother you, it's a pleasant enough way to pass a couple of hours.more
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